My first time writing anything sad (i don't even know if it's sad)

Also they're like 20-22 here so yeah...

And sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, it's like 11 pm here and I actually have to sleep already soo...
Also Samuel doesn't even have a line....

_________________________________________

"I love you."

Jinyoung said and Jihoon briefly stops what he's doing. He doesn't believe it, Jinyoung never meant it anyway and Jinyoung knows this too. He never felt anything romantic for Jihoon, it was more of friendship or brotherhood. But nothing can be done now, Jihoon confessed and Jinyoung decided to accept it.

"I know you don't mean it."

Jihoon responded and continued whatever he was doing. Jinyoung didn't say anything or protested even. It was always like this so why bother?

-

"I love you"

Jinyoung said in the middle of watching their favourite drama. Jihoon obviously stiffened. Jinyoung have said it a lot of times already (of course in all of those times, his 'i love you''s still held no meaning) but Jihoon still gets caught off guard. He turned to look at the guy but Jinyoung wasn't even looking at him.

"I know you don't mean it."

He sighed and got up, losing the mood to continue watching the drama. Jinyoung followed his boyfriend with his eyes but doesn't bother to actually follow and talk to him, instead he opted to continue watching.

-

"I love you."

Jinyoung said while they were eating. He doesn't know why he continues to say it. He actually came up with a stupid theory that the more he says it, the more he will like his boyfriend? It was honestly stupid, and he's 'theory' is yet to be proven but it'll probably never work anyway. He was actually supposed to say this 'i love you's' to a certain Lee Daehwi but apparently on the day he was supposed to confess, Daehwi says that he's planning to confess to the foreigner (well he wasn't exactly a foreigner since he's mixed) named Kim Samuel.
He also doesn't know why Jihoon confessed the very next day. He probably felt sorry because Jinyoung practically cried to him when he found out that his crush (that's Daehwi) has a crush on someone else (and that's Samuel). But do you confess to someone because you feel sorry for them? He don't know, Jihoon can be pretty weird.

Jihoon loses appetite at the sudden 'confession' of Jinyoung. He stood up and placed his food in the refrigerator for tomorrow.

"I know you don't mean it."

He said and went to their shared room. Yeah, it that they even share a room, but they were boyfriends so does that explain? Jinyoung doesn't do anything and continued eating instead. The food would go to waste after all.

-

"I love you."

Jinyoung said and Jihoon's laughter died. They were having fun and everything was fun until Jinyoung had to say his goddamn daily 'i love you's'. Jihoon sometimes wonders if Jinyoung has a reminder on his phone that reminds him to say 'i love you' to Jihoon everyday. His mood immediately changes. Jinyoung notices this though. Even though they were in this weird relationship, they were still best friends and Jinyoung worries at how fast Jihoon's expression changes whenever he says 'I love you'. Why would he be like that? It's not like Jihoon actually likes Jinyoung to begin with right? Was he weirded out?

"I know you don't mean it."

Jihoon said. Jinyoung knows to himself that yes, he doesn't mean it cause really, he would rather say 'I love you' to Daehwi but it worries him how this 'I love you - I know you don't mean it' thing has become a habit and almost predictable. Jinyoung calls himself a hypocrite since even though this situation worries him, he doesn't do anything.

-

"I love you."

Jinyoung says but Jihoon knows it wasn't for him, it was directed to their friend Daehwi (he has nothing wrong with Daehwi, the kid was good but it hurts when your boyfriend confesses his love for another person in front of you). Jinyoung was crying and he was drunk, Jihoon tried to stop him but he was too heartbroken to even mind his actual boyfriend in the room. The thing was, Daehwi invited all of his close friends to a sudden dinner because apparently he was going to announce his relationship with Samuel (yes, the two ended up together after how many months). So naturally, Jinyoung was heartbroken and he thought the best way to forget about the events was to drink until he was practically a crying drunk mess.
He continued muttering 'i love you's' and 'why did you do that's'. Jihoon notices how sincere his 'i love you's' are for Daehwi compared to the ones for him. It started to hit him that Jinyoung still likes Daehwi, will still probably like Daehwi after how many years and that the love he's been giving to Jinyoung will never be reciprocated.
Seriously, after all the months he's been hearing the forced confessions of Jinyoung it was natural to feel hurt at first but eventually get used to it later on, but that wasn't the case for Jihoon cause this one hurts the most so far.
So he was now just as heartbroken as Jnyoung (but Jinyoung doesn't even know this) but he actually has the mind to not drink his sorrows away unlike his 'boyfriend'. That night, Jihoon slept in a separate room not wanting to hear anymore of Jinyoung's sincere feelings for Daehwi and the two cried themselves to sleep.

-

The next day, Jinyoung notices Jihoon's puffy eyes. Was he crying? Why would he cry though?

"Uhm...why were you sleeping in the other room?" Jinyoung decided to ask instead of the obvious red puffy eyes. "You were a crying mess and I couldn't sleep so..." Jihoon answered the partial reason why he slept in a different room. Of course he wasn't going to say 'You were proclaiming your love to a close friend of ours without knowing me, your boyfriend was actually there comforting you and I was pretty hurt by it so i decided to sleep on the other room because I couldn't stand you and your unloyal .'
Jinyoung doesn't remember anything so he thinks Jihoon was just annoyed with his crying so he accepted his reason. Jihoon passes by him to go to the kitchen and Jinyoung suddenly remembered he haven't 'i love you' yet and so he did.

"I love you."

Jihoon stopped walking, clenched his fists and was ready to say something because his fake 'i love you's' are starting to hurt more than it should, but he thinks that this will be his only chance to be together with Jinyoung so he just have to keep it in himself. He insted responded with his usual response but this time, it was gloomier and sadder.

"I know you don't mean it."

Jinyoung instinctively followed Jihoon but stopped because if he continues it will be his first time confronting Jihoon about their relationship and he wasn't ready for that.

-

The next days were pretty normal for the two, as if nothing ever happened. Well it wasn't normal for Jinyoung. Ever since that day, he's been seeing Jihoon in a different light. Every time Jihoon laughs at whatever corny jokes Jinyoung said, it made his heart flutter a bit. He pushed it aside at first but it happened more often that he once thought of going to the doctor for this weird 'illness' he was going through. Why would he consider it an illness? Well because it only happens when Jihoon is involved. His heart doesn't flutter when some other people laugh cause that's weird, but when Jihoon does it, it's suddenly not weird anymore.
A few days more and Jinyoung's self-proclaimed 'illness' worsened. It's not just Jihoon's laugh that will cause this weird flutters but whatever Jihoon does already. He's literally just sitting beside Jinyoung but Jinyoung feels like he's on fire and the flutters would quicken.

"I-I love you."

He blurted out suddenly and Jihoon's smile drops. It hurts now whenever Jihoon's expression would change because of his confessions but he doesn't know why it hurts, it didn't before.

"I know you don't mean it."

"But--"

Jinyoung suddenly said which shocked not only Jihoon, but Jinyoung himself. 'But' what? What was he going to say anyway? This is the first time Jinyoung had said anything after Jihoon's line. Seeing that Jinyoung doesn't have anything to say, Jihoon sighed and continued to walk back upstairs. He was hoping for something but what can you expect from Jinyoung now?

Jinyoung on the other hand was still bothered by what he had done. He didn't have anything to say but he wanted to somehow disagree with Jihoon. But what would he disagree on? Does he mean it this time?.....that can't be...
.
.
.
but maybe....

-

"I'm going to the dance studio so I don't think I would be back early, eat dinner without me." Jihoon said bidding goodbye to Jinyoung.

"Ok bye. Take care. Don't overwork yourself." Jinyoung said with so much care it almost caught Jihoon off guard. That was the most boyfriend thing he did in the past months of their relationship. He brushed it off thinking that was just his caring side showing, I mean they were best friends after all.

"Yeah thanks bye." Jihoon said shortly before going out.

True to his words, Jihoon will actually be late since it's already 10:00pm and he still wasn't home. Jinyoung who was getting a bit worried decided to call his boyfriend.

"Hello?"

Jihoon answered the call.

"Yeah hi, I just wanted to know when are you coming back." Jinyoung said.

"I'm driving there now don't worry." He said.

"Oh I'll stop calling then it's dangerous to call while driving. I was just checking." Jinyoung said. He heard Jihoon muttered yeah.

"Bye--"

"Wait I love you." Jinyoung suddenly said remembering that he hasn't said I love you to Jihoon yet. He felt the mood change even though they were on the phone.

"I know you don't mean i--"

"But maybe I do!" Jinyoung finally said out of nowhere. This maddens Jihoon.

"Look you don't get it. Just stop saying things you don't mean!" Jihoon shouted back and ended the call abruptly.

-

It has been 2 hours since Jihoon said he was gonna come home but he still wasn't there. Jinyoung was starting to get worried. Maybe he stayed in a friend's house because of their argument? Maybe he went back to the studio because of the argument? It can't be because---
A knock interrupted his thoughts. Was it Jihoon? He hastily opened the door and what he saw wasn't Jihoon but his long time crush Daehwi because every time he sees him he just can't help but smile. Well that's what he thought would happen, but instead of smiling and feeling happy because he gets to see Daehwi again, he was instead disappointed because it wasn't Jihoon.
He smiled sadly. "What's wrong Daehwi?" He asked.

"Jihoon hyung! Jihoon hyung is--" Daehwi kept saying while eventually breaking down. It doesn't sound good anymore, Jinyoung really hopes what he's thinking is not true. Though scared to hear what happened, he was worried for Jihoon so he asked. "What happened to him?" He asked nervously.

"He's in the hospital! His car crashed into something and and--" Daehwi tried to inform but he couldn't help but cry. Jinyoung was frozen for awhile, trying to process what he just heard. After a while, he thought he wouldn't go anywhere with this so he calmed Daehwi first and asked for the hospital that Jihoon was in.

They immediately drove to the hospital trying to be as quick as possible (but of course still abiding by the speed limits) and when they arrived they ran to the counter or whatever it was called. "Where is Park Jihoon's room?" Jinyoung asked the nurse. "His at room 304 sir." She answered and they ran to his room. When they arrived, Jinyoung doesn't even hesitate to open the door. There he saw Jihoon laying on the bed thankfully conscious but with a ton of bandages around his body (oh and Samuel was there too but he and Daehwi left the two alone).

Jihoon cried in relief. Yes, he didn't just sigh in relief, he cried. He really thought Jihoon was going to die. He hates his pessimistic side sometimes.

"Hyung..." He muttered, going beside Jihoon. Jihoon looked at him and smiled softly, and there goes the flutters Jinyoung experiences again.

"Hey." He responded softly. "I'm sorry you had to run all the way here." He apologized. Jinyoung shook his head and said "I would run across the world for you hyung." He said half trying to make him laugh, half actually meaning it. Jihoon laughed at this. "So cheesy.." he muttered and Jinyoung chuckled despite still tearing up.

"Hyung please listen to me..." he started, grasping the unblemished and unaffected hand of Jihoon.

"I- I love you." He confessed. Jihoon smiled bitterly, he can feel the sincerity, he can feel the honesty of his boyfriend but he was so used to his 'i love you's' being forced and platonic so he didn't believe him.

"I said, I know you don't --"

"No, I mean it this time. " He said soft but firm and this melted Jihoon's heart like the first time he saw and developed feelings for Jinyoung.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize your love for me all this time. I'm sorry I was being stupid all along." He explained. "D-daehwi was the first friend I made so I was attached to him. I thought it would hurt if he left me and I mistook it for love and so i didn't notice your feelings for me. Heck I didn't even know myself that I had feelings for you because I pushed everything aside and thought that the only person I liked and need was Daehwi but I was horribly wrong. I hate how this accident needed to happen just for me to realize and confess my true feelings....I'm sorry hyung." He continued and by this time, Jihoon was crying. He wasn't expecting to hear those words from Jinyoung, he didn't even dream of it but now everything is happening so fast and he still couldn't believe it.

"I love you..." Jihoon finally said.

"That's the first time you said that." Jinyoung said chuckling a bit.

"Well unlike someone, I actually wanted my 'i love you's' to be sincere." Jihoon said obviously targeting Jinyoung but they both know he was just kidding.

"Hey, I said I'm sorry." Jinyoung said trying to sound angry but failing miserably cause he was smiling like an idiot.

"Well I'll see about that--"

He was cut off by Jinyoung's lips pressing against his. He was schoked at first but he eventually kissed back. The kiss was short but it was sweet and meaningful. They pulled apart seconds after but continued staring at each other. They stayed like that for how many minuted until someone opened the door.

"Oh my god! Is everything still fine here? We haven't heard anything-- oh...oh..." Daehwi shouted but immediately toned down after he witnessed their loving staring contest.

Jinyoung sent a death glare to him (well jokingly, but no one messes with his time with his boyfriend). "Yah can't you get a clue at what's happening here?" He said coldly and Daehwi chuckled nervously. "Yeah I- I can actually see that, which is why me and Samuel over here will just step out of the room and come back in a more appropriate time which will probably never happen" He said while slowly closing the door at each word.

"Did-did you just get what he said?" Jihoon asked stuttering a bit but blushing a ton. Jinyoung shook his head. "He said 'he'll come back in a more appropriate time which will probably never happen' his implying something..." Jihoon explained, this time avoiding eye contact with Jinyoung. Jinyoung finally gets it.

"Oh~....wanna do it then?" He said wiggling his eye brows and shooting Jihoon a knowing look. "Yah Bae Jinyoung. Stop that, your younger than me!" He said blushing and hitting Jinyoung lightly. Jinyoung laughs a bit.

"Kidding hyung." He said and a comfortable silence formed.

"I love you."

Jihoon smiles. He never thought the day would come where he doesn't say his iconic 'I know you don't mean it' line.

"I know. I love you too."

_________________________________
Hhahahahaha ahfasfkashf what is this. I'm sorry, i tried I swear.

If you're going to comment please don't be rude or anything. Thank you so much for reading.