"So we need song recommendations," Lia said as we sat at the bleechers. Even if it was an arts academy, they still had extra sports activities - and they insisted on having a friendly match with the exchange students from the states (because it was stereotypical to label all Americans to be good at soccer, duh.) "What do you think, Emma?" 

"Personally I think you should start off slow, maybe two mellow songs then switch it up to something fast-paced?" I suggested. "I mean, it's a song festival and you want to keep the crowd hyped." 

"Hmm, you're right - I'll round up the band tomorrow to discuss the arrangements, and maybe get Jay to test some of them." then she settled down her pencil before turning to look at the field. She sighed, "He's so dreamy, isn't he?" she asked. 

"Who?" I squinted my eyes. 

"Jaehyun." she answered. "I mean, he's so perfect for a guy - he got the looks, the charm, the talent with his goddamned voice and he's an athlete...what's not to swoon?" 

When she said it, I felt betrayed (by her and myself). I wanted to deny it, that Jung Jaehyun was not as charming as people thought him to be, and that he was full of lies and cons. But sitting in front of him as he was doing what he did best - with his sweat glistening on his skin against the sunlight, the more I doubted my initial thoughts. 

He was the charming person everyone believed him to be, he still is.

The very crook that broke my heart.

"Emma," Lia said to me. "Have you ever seen a guy this perfect?"

I scoffed, "Oh, come on. He's not that perfect, he's just someone who has really good qualities for a guy. That's all." And as the game finished, all the players shook their hands for good sportsmanship - then he looked up.

"Is he looking at us?" Lia giggled, shielding her face with her notebook. "I really have to get used to him being in the band...Good Lord, why is he looking this way?"

No, he's looking at me. I wanted to look away, since I was sure his stares were averted in my direction. It wasn't any casual glance, it was with a message. He wanted me to remember what he had said to me, he still wasn't giving up...

It had already been two weeks, yet he still took hold of my life.

---

---

* Two days ago...*

"Ready Rose?" I said to her minutes before the recording session. She revised her lines as she drank her water, since she had been stuck in the recording booth since the morning. 

It was a funny story how we landed the chance to actually record a full length song, after Doyoung had his idea of letting his lecturer listen to my piece he had recorded the other day. I didn't know how he managed to get the lecturer to say yes, but the next time I saw him, he had obtained a letter of permission to use the campus recording studio for the weekend.

"Here you go," he had tossed them at me over lunch the other day. "Knock yourselves out, Madam Yang wants your song ready by next Monday." 

I had blinked in confusion, "I-I don't understand-" I had stuttered. "Doyoung, how?"

He grinned, "I have my ways, besides," he held my hand. "You keep saying it's no big deal, but I know how much that song means to you; and it's the least I can do."

I smiled endearingly at him, "Doyoung, I LOVE YOU." I had declared.

He seemed unsatisfied, "I think now's the time you give me a kiss of gratitude."

I did.

While Rose was recording, I monitored the controls and edited whatever I thought was necessary. I asked one of the vocalists to help me out, and Roseanne Park seemed like the best candidate with that unique voice of hers. As she closed her eyes, being immersed with the melody of the electric violin - someone knocked the door. 

"Come in-" I was tongue-tied when I saw who it was. Jung Jaehyun was just as surprised to see me there and then. I turned my head away and resumed to look at Rose's recording. My hands fiddled with the buttons and my fingers focused on tapping on the desk. 

"I ran into some dude in the hallway, said he had to go to the bathroom and gave me this saying someone ordered them to be sent here," he beckoned casually at the tray of lattes in his hand. "So...anyone ordered coffee here?"

I avoided eye contact, "Y-yeah, just put it on the table." And he did as told, but when I expected him to leave, he stayed and wandered around the room. I wanted him to go away, but if I did tell him - he would assume I still cared about him. When I didn't.

"What's all this for?" he asked me. "You're planning on releasing an album or something? I thought you were a musician..."

I sighed, "One, this is for the song festival - and yes, I am recording a few songs for satisfaction. Two, it's none of your business."

He held up his hands, "Look, I'm just being considerate to a friend-"

"Very funny of you to say that since, I'm not your friend." I cut off. 

He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, "Why though?"

"I don't think I'm your friend," I faced him. "I'm just new notch in your belt, that's all."

"Huh?"

"I'm just another joke you played with, that's all I'm saying." and I averted to recording once again. I hid it, but by then my hands were turning cold from either the air conditioning, or the atmosphere. I wished he would leave, and be ashamed for all he did (it's not everyday you run into an ex, that ran away just to avoid you - then with much bad luck, get to meet you again in the most unlikely place). But I doubted he could be ashamed of himself.

He his lips, "Emma, I know what I did-" then he became quiet. "And I know you're dating Kim Doyoung now, and he's my roommate."

I spun around, "D-does he know? About us?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, "Why would be a problem? It's not like we're a thing anymore - or you're still having something else in mind?" 

I couldn't believe him. "Really? Wow Jung Jaehyun, you're truly unbelievable..." I shook my head. "I think it's time for you to snap out of it, the possibility of us together now is impossible." and I turned back to the controls. "Alright Rose, could you repeat that part before the drop hits? Great." and I replayed the part. I wanted Jung Jaehyun to know that he wasn't needed there, that I didn't need him pestering with my life. 

"Emma, I know I sound like a jerk right now - but whatever I did to make you break, none of those were my intentions at all. Trust me, I'd do anything to be the last person to hurt you." he proceeded to explain.

I would never hurt you, he said.

Not now not ever, he promised.

Anyone but you, he swore.

"Can you just shut the hell up?" I snapped, and might have shouted too. Only we were aware of the situation as Rose was still recording with her eyes closed, thank god. That was why I wanted him to leave while he had the chance, because my heart couldn't help but swell up with its beating oddly inconsistent. I clenched my fists, "Look, I don't need you bringing up every broken promise you gave me, Jung Jaehyun. Why are you doing this to me? You were the one that slammed the door on me, what else do you want now?!" Mid-sentence, I blinked back tears. "You grew tired of me, I've faced the music - I'd like to stop at that point, so quit bringing up the fact that I wasn't good enough for you!"

He stared at me, unable to speak for himself. It was dead silent, then Rose emerged from the recording booth, confused. "Um, is everything okay?" she questioned awkwardly. "Er, I'll leave you two alone for a while - bathroom break." and she hurried out of the room. Only god knew if she was going to spread the word around, but I highly doubted that. 

Jauhyun his lips, "Do you really think I gave us up just because I grew tired of  you? Just so you know, I don't jut grow tired of people, especially people like you. This may sound pathetic, but I had my reasons for breaking up."

"Wow, you're something aren't you, Jung Jaehyun?"

"It was between you, and everything else on the line - I had no choice and I admit I'm a jerk for ditching you." he expressed with regret. "If I could go back in time, I'd choose differently - I'd choose you."

I closed my eyes, "Well it's too late, you didn't choose me in the end - there is no use in regretting what you did. I'm happy with Doyoung, so I don't feel so bad right now. That's how much he's better than you."

That was when he looked at me real good. "Is that why you're dating him? Because you're really into him, or just because having him to compare with me makes you feel better?"

---

---

I hope you're okay, xoxo. -Doyoung-

I sighed as I soon as I received the text. Then he proceeded to send me a selca of him back in his room, with his bunny smile. Before this, anything from him made me beam, but now all I felt was utter pressure. The question Jung Jaehyun had asked me made me consider things I never thought about. If I didn't feel anything as he had claimed, why was I unable to defend myself from his accusations? Was I really just using Doyoung like a form of healing, just to make myself feel better?

I felt like the biggest cheater on Earth. 

"Excuse me miss, did you order a glass of Dr. Pepper?" the cashier stood at my table as he held a tray of the drink I had ordered, the seventh that night. He was the same guy when Doyoung brought me along for the first time. The place had decent food, and it was the other place in town that I knew was opened at midnight. No one else was in the place, except me - besides waiter boy, slash cook on duty. 

"Y-yeah, thanks." I said to him. He peered at the number of glasses on my table, he raised his eyebrows.

"Even though this isn't necessarily alcohol, but I think too much sugar won't do you any good either." he advised me before looking at the time. "It's getting late, so I'm guessing your date didn't turn up?"

I had to chuckle, "No, I came here alone - just to clear my thoughts out. You'll be here until twelve?" 

He shook his head, "Maybe around two someone will show up and change shifts with me, until then every extra minute I work grants me an extra bonus pay." he winked and laughed. "If you need anything besides another shot of soda, just call me." and he his heel.

I needed someone to talk to about my thoughts, and maybe that impulsive urge was what made me call him back. 

"Hey, cashier boy!" I hollered at him, then he turned back to me with a confused face. "Could you, come back here? I need to talk to you."

He walked back to me, "Is there a problem?"

"That's it," I felt like a fool. "I just need someone to talk to, that's all. Or are you occupied?"

He was mildly taken aback. Nonetheless, he agreed. "Not at all, I have all the time in the world." he pulled a chair and sat opposite me. "What's the problem?"

I sighed, "So I'm currently having a crisis, and I don't know what I'm really thinking about. One second I feel like I'm on top of the world because I'm dating the nicest person in the world, then suddenly my ex just pops out of nowhere, disrupts everything in my life - when I know exactly how much he means nothing to me -  and yet he somehow still has the power to take hold of me. I just...I'm so confused at the moment." then I held my head in my hands. The way I explained it must have sounded like I was sprouting out gibberish. 

There was a long silence, then he spoke. "If you're so confused now, I think it's better if you put your mind off that issue right now - rather than having a migraine about it. Trust me, there are worse things in life to worry about." he assured me, and I actually did feel better. Just a tad bit.

I smiled, "Thanks cashier boy."

"Call me Taeil," he replied. "Moon Taeil."

"Emma Song," I shook his hand. "Sorry if I sounded like a bimbo, I swear I'm not."

He laughed, "I believe you. So, are you studying here?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm attending SOA - hopefully I'll get to complete my studies here, just so I have an excuse to not go back to the states." he raised his eyebrows at me. "Long story, don't ask. But what about you? Are you studying somewhere near here?"

He looked sideways, "Well, er, I'm getting through by applying for scholarships - depends if I'm offered anything good."

I sipped on my drink, "Oh, so you're not studying at the moment?"

He scratched his head, "Uh, I am, I mean, I am studying at the moment - I'm just saying I'm hoping for a scholarship. That's all."

"Ohh," I nodded again. "You could've just said it simpler. You're more of a listener than a talker, aren't you?"

"Haha, I guess so." he rubbed the back of his neck. 

"It's cute though," I assured him. "The awkwardness might be your own charm.Geez, look at the time!" and I hastily got up. "See you some other time, cashier- I mean, Taeil!" and I dashed out the place.

How could I forget tomorrow's assignment?

---

---

*Taeil's P.O.V*

"B-bye..." I solemnly waved back at her silhouette, with her ponytail bouncing from behind. 

I had no idea what to feel, the joy of talking to Emma Song again after so long, or the stinging regret of her not knowing who I was. But it really had been so long, it was a long shot if she still remembered me, we were kids after all. Memories so distant were far from unforgettable, it was no wonder she couldn't remember...

But why haven't I forgotten about it?