Light-sticks, signs, and cameras swirled around them as they exited the stage, exhausted and dripping with sweat. The energy in the concert hall up all the oxygen, fills the space with something more than just bodies and cheering fans. As the nine boys trotted down the long hallway, the adrenaline rush was visibly leaving their bodies, and aides waited along the walls to dab their sweat, take their microphones, and provide refreshments. Taeil took the water bottle handed to him by one of them with a polite smile and nod – the cheers of the audience would swallow any “thank you” he knew better than to attempt. Behind him, the music changed and the audience roared even louder to welcome the next group.

As they headed towards their changing room, every bone in Taeil begged for rest. The Cherry Bomb choreography really took it out of him, and judging by the similarly breathless look of s, they felt the same. He slowly drank his water and reveled in the way if felt traveling through him, delivering almost instant relief to his body. They were practically done with today’s schedule – all that was left was a radio show and a couple hours of practice. The thought helped give him a bit more strength and he picked up the pace; they didn’t have much time to change for their next schedule, as always. Their last moment of peace was two weeks ago, when Mark had hurt his ankle, and when he and Johnny almost-

Taeil’s train of thought was interrupted by a sly hand reaching from behind and slipping his water bottle out his hand. He peered over his shoulder to find Johnny finishing the remaining half of water, looking right at him as he did so, even. Honestly, there was nothing particularly strange about this, or any other interaction the two have had since their day off. It seemed that whenever that scene came to mind, Johnny was right there to settle Taeil’s uncertainty. Things were normal now, that was just a slight bump, something small and fleeting – nothing to worry over.

“Sorry, I didn’t grab one before” Johnny smirked as he threw a heavy arm over Taeil’s shoulder, as if it wasn’t hot enough. Johnny has made a habit of doing this kind of thing lately, and Taeil didn’t really understand why. Messing around, trying to get a rise out of him maybe, but nothing out of the ordinary. The older threw him a half-assed look of irritation, marred by a slight smile, and shrugged. The weight of Johnny’s arm over his shoulder made Taeil shiver a bit, for whatever reason. At times like this, Taeil found himself overly conscious of Johnny.

“Luckily, I was done with it anyway” an even reply, given the way Taeil feels nervousness pooling in his stomach. He ignores it. An aide who was waiting by the changing room politely opened the door, and the nine of them poured in, tired but brisk, as there was still more work to do. Johnny’s arm fell away from Taeil’s shoulder as they entered the room, but the subtle lingering of his fingertips felt purposeful – a trail of heat left in their wake. Taeil ignores that too.

The world here feels infinitely smaller than when they’re on stage, especially with the nine of them bunched into one space. The overbearing fluorescent lights fill the room and Taeil finds himself squinting. As he goes into a corner to change – decidedly facing away from Johnny – he loses himself in his thoughts. Most of which concern the very boy he’s trying to… what, avoid? It’s not that, Taeil contests to himself, trying to make sense of both his actions and his feelings. For the past two weeks Taeil has found himself purposefully ignoring things Johnny did. Or trying to, at least. Before, sometimes, ever so rarely, his eyes would linger. It was unconscious, honestly, how he seemed to gravitate towards the him and seek him out amid a crowd. But now, the mere mention of Johnny made him nervous.

Their break was what set off a blaring red alarm in Taeil’s head, suddenly making him overly aware of himself and especially Johnny. This made it hard for him to discern whether Johnny’s somewhat suggestive actions were meaningful or… just him being Johnny, really. Even worse, he wasn’t sure which option he preferred. This awareness, this uneasy yet exciting feeling wasn’t something he was ignorant of, but that didn’t serve to daunt him any less.

In all honesty, there wasn’t much of a suggestive feel to Johnny’s actions – at least not more so than usual. But sometimes, he would stand a bit closer than necessary, closer than before. He’d touch Taeil – gently, as if he’d break – and his hands would linger. He’d pester Taeil, seemingly for no reason. At times like those, he’d look at Taeil as if he was searching for something, but only for a moment. These things too, Taeil ignored.

Their manager knocked on the door to tell them to hurry up, reminding Taeil of where they were, what they were doing. Glancing around the room, he saw the other members were almost done changing while he barely had his shirt off. Chastising himself a bit, Taeil picked up the pace and put his change of clothes on as quickly as possible whilst trying not to disturb his makeup. He managed to follow the others out in time, bowing to the staff as they left. Johnny was ahead of him, chatting with Jaehyun on the way to the van. He shifted his gaze towards the ground and shook his head a bit. Right now, Johnny was just a distraction.

A/N:  mmm yes denial i love it. Honestly pray for these two lol theyre gonna need a lot of help. For the most part, I think the idea of someone feeling attracted to another person, but not recognizing that feeling as attraction is... unconvincing - at least while reading fics. These are grown men we're talking about here; even kids recognize the feeling of crushing on someone after a while lolol. I'm mentioning this because I'm hoping that taeil doesnt come off as being ignorant of the way hes starting to feel, hes just fighting himself a bit. There will be more to find out about his and johnnys headspace in the next chapters....and maybe.... turning up the heat a little? As always, thank you so much for your kindness and patience, and of course, for reading! I hope i can continue to put out work you guys enjoy~<3