Fixation

The Struggle
Please Subscribe to read the full chapter

There isn’t much that Jungkook can’t do. The other members tend to put him on the spot and he never fails to impress, more often than not exceeding already high expectations. He’s accustomed to it, kind of relishes in the admiration, though he’s never one to gloat.

It's been a few years since they've debuted and Jungkook is growing into a rather charming young man, portraying himself with integrity while maintaining that youthful appeal, showing his cuteness at times, being playful and seldom displaying the side of him that the other members adore: the maknae. The role doesn’t fit Jungkook because he isn’t like other maknaes. No, he’s more of a daunting presence with muscles to match, regularly scaring his elders into submission. This is the side of Jungkook that he likes to show people - tough, strong, intimidating if you will, definitely a force to be reckoned with.

But when the cameras are off and eyes aren’t on him, Jungkook lets his guard down and it’s absolutely beautiful. To see the innocence gloss over that adorable face, to see the sincerity in those bright eyes, to witness the look that comes over him when he’s doing his own thing is just so captivating.

Yoongi often catches himself watching the younger, finding amusement in the way he talks, the way he moves, his general resolve. He likes Jungkook’s propensity of chewing on his cheeks and lips. He likes the way the younger’s lips curve awkwardly and the slight depression that nestles into the side of his cheek. Yoongi concludes that this is a subconscious thing, a habit, and docks it in his mind as one of his favorite things.

Yoongi isn’t affectionate to say the least, but his fondness for the other members doesn’t go unnoticed. He tries to be stoic because it’s just in his character and it creates this calm within the group, something akin to an anchor. For the most part, he is this grandpa of a man, always drawn to sleep, but when it comes to the members you can see just how much he cares. He doesn’t show it the way most people do and it only adds to his charm. Yoongi is subtle - offering a water bottle, never failing to mention how great Jungkook is at everything and anything, going around the office to have staff write things about each member.

Sometimes Yoongi feels a little resentful of the relationship the youngest three share. Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook are always playful, laughing, and having a good time not taking things too seriously. Yoongi wishes he could be a little more like that, a little more carefree, able to joke the way they do, but he can’t. He’s not like them. He’s got a wicked sense of humor and there are times that he regrets it the second it slips his tongue. Yet, at the end of the day they all know it's for laughs and he appreciates this little family he’s come to love.

Yoongi knew coming into this business that his life was going to be all about the job, that although he'll be in a group with other people he'd be able to focus on making music; it's his specialty, it's what he breathes and it's what the managers had promised him. What he didn't sign up for was to be a babysitting dancer and that's exactly what he told his manager the day he was introduced to the other members. 

"Bulletproof boyscouts?" Yoongi questions, clearly unamused.

"Yes, Yoongi. Trust me, I wouldn't place you in a group with people who weren't good at what they do," the manager assures.

"I'm sure they're good at what they do. What I'm not sure about is why I'm in a group called bullet proof boy scouts with a bunch of little kids. With all due respect, sir, I'm here to make music and I don't think I'm a good fit for this group."

"Yoongi, I've been doing this for a long time. I know who fits well and where. So listen to me when I say that you seven are going to go places, you'll see. Don't be so vain."

"I better not end up babysitting these kids," Yoongi gives in with a sigh.

The manager laughs, pats Yoongi on the shoulder and begins to make his exit when the younger chides, "And I thought we agreed no dancing." The manager just shoots a friendly warning and Yoongi smirks, deciding that maybe this won't be so bad. He's come this far and at least he has Namjoon.

- - - 

Yoongi admires Jungkook, not his physical attributes, but just Jungkook as a person; he’s so young, so talented, so innocent. Yoongi feels a need to protect him even though he’s smaller and undoubtedly weaker because he sees what others don’t, Jungkook's vulnerable side. 

Jungkook’s smile is insanely adorable. He gets these wrinkles under his eyes as they turn into crescents and his mouth stretches so wide his bottom teeth show and it all comes together into this endearing mess and it makes Yoongi smile more than he’d like to admit. Yoongi's good at keeping a straight face even when he finds something funny except for when it comes to Jungkook. He isn't sure exactly when it happened, but he developed a major soft spot for the youngest.

Hoseok is another person who can make Yoongi smile in ways others can't and somehow it's different; things are seamless between them like a push and pull and Yoongi gives full credit to Hoseok's amicable personality, which is why he usually prefers Hobi's company, yet there's something about Jungkook that draws Yoongi in, beckoning. So it saddens him a little to think that Jungkook only sees him as his lamb skewer buddy, but then he realizes that they don’t have much to go off of so he accepts it as a way of bonding and it helps to appease his anxiousness.

They're at a radio show, not their first and the host is asking Jungkook who he wants his first legal drink to be with and as the others are preparing to give him time to think, Jungkook is already responding, "Suga hyung." It takes them all by surprise and Yoongi isn't sure if he heard that correctly, but his heart skips a beat anyway and he tries to hide the smile tugging at his lips, though he's sure a tiny glimpse slides into the open. Quickly, he plasters nonchalance onto his countenance, automatically getting defensive since he's sure that Jungkook doesn't mean it because how can he pick Yoongi over Taehyung or Jimin. The elder negates any validity to Jungkook's answer, speaking into the microphone so everyone can hear that he was only chosen because the younger expects him to treat like before. To Yoongi's surprise, Jungkook counters with, "I'll buy it for you," and shoots a smile that Yoongi interprets as coy and it makes him unable to hold the younger's gaze because he can feel his cheeks get warm. 

The last time that Jungkook chose Yoongi for something on a radio show it was for a one day vacation together and just like this time, Yoongi's initial response was to be defensive, ready to give a reason as to why he might have chosen him and Jungkook could see the slight panic in Yoongi's face as he fumbled for words, "No, we're very... We're very," so the younger dove in to help by telling Yoongi that it's for the reason that the elder is thinking and Jungkook could see Yoongi relax a little when he realized that it's just about lamb skewers, but then the relief transformed into disappointment because why isn't it ever about anything else?

- - - 

Jungkook looks up to Yoongi the most. He's Jungkook’s favorite hyung, though the younger will never admit it because, god what would that do to Yoongi’s ego. Jungkook already has to fight for Yoongi’s attention; between sleep, the other members and music composition, it’s more than a struggle for Jungkook to get close. Every time he tries, it seems as though something comes up. 

They're in the recording studio, Yoongi's sitting at the desk funneling through music files on the computer. Jungkook reaches for Yoongi’s shoulder and the elder turns to face him, shifting his headphones to hang around his neck when Jimin fathoms from what seems to be nowhere since Jungkook is pretty sure they were alone when he walked in not five seconds ago and the youngest loses all hopes of a conversation because ing Jimin is here so he shakes his head in defeat and with a sheepish smile, sits on the black leather couch behind Yoongi. 

He’s chewing the inside of his cheek, glancing between Yoongi and Jimin and watches them interact, envy creeping into his stomach at how easy their friendship is. He wants that. Jimin is someone easy to get along with, Jungkook tells himself, wondering why he can’t be a little more like him in that way. Smile more, he thinks, don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself. Just talk. 

Jungkook fiddles with the sleeve of his jacket, thinking back at past attempts to get to Yoongi - a lot of back-hugging, a lot of hovering, a lot of lifting, even some grinding. He cringes at the awkwardness. What even was he thinking when he had Yoongi pressed up against him, arms locked under the elder’s, hips gyrating dangerously close, but hey, Yoongi let him do it. Twice. That counts for something right?

- - -

Yoongi is closest to Jimin. Everyone knows this. Namjoon often comments, “Of course,” to when one chooses the other for anything, also noting that, “Jimin likes Suga,” so it comes to no surprise when they’re seen leaning on each other, holding each other, brushing body parts, looking to the other, gravitating toward each other. It gets under Jungkook’s skin just a little each time, careful to not let it affect his mood. 

There are also times when Yoongi and Hoseok are in their own little world. Jungkook sees Yoongi smile a little wider, often times looking to Hobi and is always, always subconsciously reaching for Hoseok's thighs. Jungkook knows there's a special place in Yoongi's heart just for Hoseok and Jungkook can’t fight the jealousy bubbling inside. How can he compete with J frickin Hope and Chimchim? They outshine without even trying, always so happy and energetic and c

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Siskatiska
#1
Chapter 1: Beautifully done
Mimm893 #2
Chapter 1: May I say that I love this? Waiting for the next update!