Yoongi was enjoying the music, really enjoying it. He came home from his dull office job, made a fast dinner and opened his laptop, with his favorite music. He had become a fan of this Korean boyband, called BTS, or Bangtan Sonyeondan. The music pulled him in, the raps too, and when he found translations of the lyrics, he was completely ered.

 An added bonus was that one of the rappers of that group, Suga, somehow looked like Yoongi. And Yoongi’s voice sounded very much like Suga. And what really surprised Yoongi, was that even their names were the same, both their names were Min Yoongi. The similarities between the two were pointed out by friends who were into kpop too. Especially by other BTS fans, ARMYs.

That Yoongi really looked like Suga, became painfully obvious during one of the BTS concerts that Yoongi visited. He went with a bunch of friends. And arriving there… well… let’s say that Yoongi barely survived the arrival. Other fans who had already gathered there, thought that he, Yoongi, the one with a dull office job, was the real Suga, the rapper with intense lyrics.

 Luckily his friends could  get him out of that sticky situation and provided him with a disguise, That way he could at least enjoy the concert. Of course it was excellent teasing material for his friends, that Yoongi was almost a doppelgänger of Suga. It was also a good learning experience: from now on, if he ever went to a BTS concert, he would take clothes and accessories that would minimize his likeness to Suga.

Anyway, Yoongi was enjoying the music, part of the ‘Wings’-album of BTS. He had to admit he liked the rapping of JHope, and the lyrics of ‘Mama’ were something that Yoongi could somehow relate with. Bopping along with the lyrics, his enjoyment was rudely disturbed by the almost blasphemous sound of his doorbell.

 Who could that be? He didn’t expect any friends, acquaintances or co-workers. Muttering some choice expletives, Yoongi walked to his front door. He pulled it open, and with a face that radiated his displeasure he almost yelled: “YES?!”

 There was this guy at the door, who looked somehow familiar to Yoongi. This guy had shrank back a bit, at Yoongi’s fierce wording, but he regained his stance and uttered: “Sir, I’m here to bring you the good news of …”

“I don’t need any good news.”
“But sir, this good news can save…”
“I don’t need any saving.”
“... save your soul…”
“I don’t have a soul.”

I remained silent for a second, when that guy looked with wide eyes at Yoongi.

“Sir, everybody has a soul,” the guy continued, “you too, and your soul is worth saving.”
“How can you be so sure that I need saving?”
“Well, sir, a disturbed soul makes you look…”
“Disturbed soul? You betcha I’m disturbed!”
“There you have it!” the guy crowed.
“You know, how I became disturbed?”
“Err… no…?”
“I became disturbed … because of YOU,” Yoongi pointed a fierce finger at that guy,”You pressed that bloody doorbell, while I was enjoying some good music!”

“Music?”
“Yes, music!”
“Are you by any chance a Belieber?”
“A what???”
“A Belieber, a fan of Justin Bieber.”
“O pooh… no of course not..”
“Err… may I ask…”
“I’m a fan of BTS, short for Bangtan Sonyeondan, translates to Bulletproof Boyscouts! And I’m proud to be an ARMY!”

The eyes of the guy in front of the door became very wide. Again the thought struck Yoongi, that that guy looked familiar somehow. It was a very irritating itch.

“You… you are an ARMY???” that guy uttered. “That means you’re a kpop fan, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, so?”
“So you’re one of ‘m who voted for that kpop boyband who took away the Social Media Award from Justin Bieber, during the Billboard Awards?”
“Took away? What do you mean? We voted fair and square. And that we’re more dedicated than Beliebers, well… what can I do about that? Nothing!”
“That isn’t being dedicated,” the guy in front of the door said. “That borders on fanaticism.”
“Fanat… beg your pardon?” Yoongi was flabbergasted at this characterization of kpop fans in general, and ARMYs in particular.

“Yes,” that guy continued. “That’s fanaticism. It’s just a step away from being enormously violent.”
“Vio… Aren’t you exaggerating a bit?” Yoongi asked.
“No, I’m not. But you sir, can be saved from becoming a violent zombie, who dances to the tunes of that awful boyband!”
“Awful boy…” Yoongi felt his bloodpressure shooting up. “Now listen here you,...” Yoongi pointed at that guy again.

“You see,” that guy answered. “That’s just the beginning, what you’re doing. Kpop fans are probably the most violent human beings on this earth. They could even overshadow the likes of Al-Qaeda or Islamic state!”
“Now you’re going…”
“Sir, please listen to me. You can be saved from becoming such a violent fanatic! The good message that I’m bringing to you…”
“ENOUGH!!” Yoongi shouted. “I’ve had it with you.. you … you…” Yoongi couldn’t find a fitting word, and just slammed the door shut.

At least he tried to.

The door didn’t close though. And as Yoongi looked down, he figured out why. That brazen guy had the audacity, to put his foot in the door.
And that was when Yoongi became angry. Very very angry.

“Sir, please… I can..” that guy tried again.

“You…” Yoongi started in a very deep, low, gravelly but threatening tone, “you will remove your foot from there, right now.”

Still with his head a bit bend, Yoongi flicked his eyes up, so he was looking at that guy through his eyelashes and bangs on his forehead. It was as if violence hung palpable in the air between the two.

“If you do not remove your foot,” Yoongi continued, still with that deep, low, gravelly voice, “I will show you, that I, Min Yoongi, am the very best kpop fan in the whole bloody universe. Got that?”

After those words, that guy quickly retracted his foot. He looked a bit scared too, almost as if he was a scaredy cat. And that’s when it hit Yoongi. Now he remembered who this guy looked like. He swept up his hand, pointed fiercely with his finger towards that guy’s nose (again) and yelled: “Jaaayhoooooooopee!!!!” 

“Wuh… what?” that Jhope look-alike stuttered.

“Jhope! THAT’s who you look like. I mean, you look so much like Jhope, especially when you were doing that scaredy cat face, it’s just uncanny! Wow!”

“What… who is this … jay hope?”

“Hah,” Yoongi was now totally enjoying himself. “Jhope is rapper and dancer of BTS, that ‘awful boyband’ as you called it. Hehe…You really look like Jhope, or Jung Hoseok as his real name is.”

Yoongi began to chuckle and then continued: “You know how ironic that is? You try to ‘save’ me from kpop… and you yourself look like a fecking kpop idol yourself.. hahahah.”

While the fake Jhope was trying to digest this new information, Yoongi continued to chuckle and slowly closed the door. Due to his violent chuckling, he stumbled back to his pc, where he had been listening to said boyband.

“Pfff… trying to save me from BTS.. while he himself looks like the lead dancer and rapper of BTS … pff… hihihi”

Finally Yoongi sat in his chair again.

“Poor guy…”