Everything was spinning in and out of focus. I went another night without any sleep, worried about my father’s sudden head cold. I spent every hour running back and forth from the pharmacy, serving him hot soup, and making sure his blankets kept him warm. Before I knew it, the sun was already up, and it was time to go to school.

I could barely keep my eyes open, but I couldn’t let something as little as fatigue set me back. I had to do well. I had to score high. I had to be perfect.

“Jangmi-ah?” Rocky waved a hand in front of my face.

Shaking my head, I flashed a weak smile, “S-sorry-”

“Are you doing okay?” he frowned, “You don’t look so good-”

“I’m fine,” I cut him off, flashing another smile.

He didn’t look to convinced, but before he could say anything else, the teacher marched inside.

“Good morning class!”

I stiffled a yawn, glancing back and forth from Astro surrounding me and the hundreds of jealous stares of girls. Shaking my head, I drew out my lunch.

“-yah, where’s your food?” Jinjin scoffed, nudging Eunwoo slightly.

Eunwoo shrugged.

“Aish… this kid,” MJ shook his head, “You never eat enough-”

“You don’t have a lunch?” I looked up.

Eunwoo didn’t meet my gaze.

Setting my lunch on his lap, I smiled, “Have mine!”

He frowned, looking up skeptically, “But you need to eat too-”

I shook my head, “I had a really big breakfast, so I’m not that hungry. I’ll be fine.” That was a lie- I forgot to grab something on my way out, but managed to keep my stomach quiet until lunchtime.

Rocky eyed me suspiciously, “I can buy you a lunch-”

I shook my head, “I’m fine! Really.”

It was drawing near the end of Astro’s rehearsal, and by that time, I could barely see. Everything was so bright- so loud. My mouth was dry, and my hands couldn’t stop shaking. When was the last time I ate? I couldn’t remember. Everyday, I would just give my lunch to Eunwoo and tell myself that I’d eat later. Only… later turned out to be tomorrow. I guess I didn’t have time to get food… Oh well… I’m not that hungry anyway… plus it saves money…

“Noona!” Sanha shouted in my ear.

Jumping in surprise, I turned to meet all six pairs of Astro’s eyes staring at me, “Y-yeah?”

“We’re ready to go!” MJ grinned, bouncing up and down like a small child.

Nodding, I grabbed my back- only to stumble over my weak knees.

Eunwoo caught my arm, staring at me in concern, “You okay?”

Straightening up, I nodded, “Yep!”

The boys paraded down the hall like pirates, angering the few teachers left in the study room, and sang various songs off the tops of their lungs.

“WOW!” Sanha shouted, “FANTASTIC BABY!”

“DANCE!” MJ joined in, dancing to the beat of their own drum.

“Aish,” Moonbin scoffed, “Quiet down-”

“WE LIKE TO PARTY!”

“YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!”

“Shut up, idiots,” Moonbin groaned.

“WOOOOOO!” Sanha screamed as he pushed open the door.

I shivered against the bitter cold, but it didn’t matter. Watching them made me feel warm inside.

“By, Noona!” Sanha waved, grinning as he slipped into a car waiting for him just outside the building.

I waved to each of them, watching them disappear into their parents’ cars before turning away. Letting out a slow and shaky breath, I nodded. I could hear my feet drag against the pavement and my own ragged breath against the air. I was just… so tired.

A wave of hot air rushed over me, and my legs collapsed underneath me. It felt so nice to lay down, but my heart was racing out of my chest, and my limbs felt like the weighed a million tons. I could hear a voice calling me in the distance, but I couldn’t see a face. A tear trickled down cheek as I thought of my father, chained to his own bed, waiting for his daughter that wouldn’t come. “F-father…” I whispered, “I’m sorry…”

And then everything went black.