Minhee….

So sorry for being a coward that unable to confess what I really feel to you.

I guess, even my breath reek of alcohol, but this is what I need to be brave to confess to her, the woman that I’ve love these 5 years. I know I am coward, an idiot to keep my feelings all these years.

Along the way to her house, I stop for every place that I’ve been with her. Like now when I pass this ice cream parlor.

“YA!! Kim Doyoung! Stop!”

I turn my head and see her running to catch me. I smile, tough she is sweating and panting madly, she is still the prettiest in my eyes.

“Ya! Don’t smile like that. It’s scary.” She pouts and I pinch her cheeks. “I know you’re taller than me, but don’t walk too fast, I’m tired.”

“Ok, as compensation, I’ll grant your wish.” Her big brown eyes glisten upon hearing my words.

“Really?” I nod. ”Then, let’s eat ice cream. There is a new ice cream parlor there. Please?” oh no her puppy eyes is my weakness. I nod and she shouts a loud YES. She holds my hand.

I can only remember that my heart beats so fast.

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I buy a cup of bubble gum ice cream, her favorite ice cream flavor. It was delicious before and it’s tasteless now. I keep on walking to the park, where my heart shattered.

I forgot that we have appointment in the park. Damn! She must be angry. I run as fast as I can to the park and I see her there. I approach her and so surprise to see a man there.

“Minhee, sorry. I oversleep.” I look at the guy and ask her. “Who is he?”

She smile and hold hands with the man. “The reason I ask you to come here is to introduce him.” I look at her. “He is my boyfriend, Jung Jaehyun.”

I hear my heart’s shattered into pieces. I put on my best fake smile to both of them.

“Oh, I see.” I look at the man and introduce myself. “I’m her best friend; we have known each other since we are in our mom’s tummy. Kim Doyoung. You can ask me anything about her, even her darkest side.”

She them pinch me hard. “Ya! I don’t call you here for that.” I laugh hard that time

And I remembered my heart is aching.

-I walk to the bench where she introduced him. I look at the night skies, the stars and the moon shine brightly today, like her.

I can’t hold it anymore, I cry hard.

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I continue again and pass this watch shop.

Today she asks me to accompany her buy something for Jaehyun. Soon it will be his birthday.

“Oppa~” I cringe with the way she calls me.

“Since when you call me oppa?” I smirk at her and she nudges me hard.

“Jaehyun told me to call you oppa, since you’re older by months from me.”

I make a cross sign with my hands. “No, I prefer you call me Dodo.” I like that nickname because you give it to me; it has special meaning in my heart.

“Ok Dodo. Now help me. Which one is better? This one or this one?”

I busy choose the perfect gift for her and she wraps the gift nicely.

And I remember my heart is wrapped in pain.

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This coffee shop, Paradise Coffee Shop. This is the place where she cried when they have fight that day.

I sigh in my seat, looking at her crying her heart out. Indeed it’s not only her mistake, but both of them are wrong. As I know her, I need to wait until her calm down before I can tell her.

I call the waiter and order an ice tea and tiramisu cake, her calm down menu. Once she calm down, I talk to her. “Minhee, Jaehyun makes mistake, but you also make mistake.” She looks at me and doubts me.

“Listen Minhee, you need to understand that he has to go to Singapore for 6 months for work. It’s for your future. He also makes mistake by not telling you earlier.” She looks down and I know it hurts her heart. “Now, call him and apologize to him. You don’t want he goes to Singapore with heavy heart right.” She shakes her head.

She hugs me “Thank you Dodo, you are the best.” And she walks out the coffee shop.

I vaguely remember that I am happy that day.

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I drink another can of beer again before I precede my journey. I almost reach her house and one last memorable place. The pasta house, the place where I realize that my love never reach to you.

I think I know why both of them invite me for dinner. I dress casually, since it’s not a fancy restaurant. I take a deep breath before I enter the pasta house. I come 15 minutes earlier than our appointment.

I sit in the VIP place, place where we like to sit every time we visit this pasta house. I hear the door open, I lift my head and see both of you smile lovingly to each other.

“Oh, Dodo you’re early.” She hugs me. Hug is our way of greeting.

When we’re done with dinner, I ask her the reason she invites me for dinner.

“I have good news Dodo.” Can I say that I hate the way they look at each other?

“What is that?”  I feel my heart griefing now.

Both of them show the rings on their ring finger, and I know the meaning.

“We’re getting married Dodo. He proposed me last month.” She smiles happily.

“Oh, and you didn’t tell me that he proposed you?” I try my best to sound playful, tough my heart is in pain.

“Sorry Dodo. I want to make this a surprise for you.”

“Yes, I’m surprised Minhee. Congratulations, I wish you ultimate happiness.” I clench my fist under the table.

“And,” this time Jaehyun speaks. “You’ll be our best man and our wedding singer”

“Oh, thank you. When is your wedding?”

“In 3 months.” Jaehyun answers me and look at her with eyes full of love.

I remembered that my heart is in pain, in misery.

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Another can of beer when I reach her house. I am ready to confess before she gets married tomorrow. I ring the bell and she opens the door.

“Dodo, are you drunk?” she holds and guides me to the sofa. “I’ll take water for you.” I hold her hand.

“No Minhee. I want you to listen to me.” She then sits down next to me.

“First of all, I’m sorry.” She is about to talk, but I gesture her to keep quiet. “Yes, I need alcohol to make me brave. I need to be brave to tell you this.” I stop for a while. “I love you Minhee, in these 5 years I keep silent about my feeling to you. But I can’t now. I need to tell you this. I won’t ask you to leave Jaehyun to be with me. I only need to tell you this.” I start crying.

“I love you so much Minhee, so freaking much until the point where our memories these 5 years turn to be painful for me. I won’t stay away from you, you are my best friend and see you happy is one of my goals. Congratulation one more time, Jaehyun will take care of you.”

“Dodo, I’m sorry for not realizing that you have feeling to me and ask you to be our best man and our wedding singer. You don’t have to do it Dodo. I’ll tell Jaehyun about it.” She plays her beautiful fingers.

I lift her head and look at her beautiful eyes for the last time. “No silly, I will do it. It’s the least that I can do for my best friend. Don’t worry, we’re still best friend and you still can tell me your problems.”

“Thank you Dodo.” We hug for the last time.

And I remember her wedding is the most beautiful wedding and she is the most beautiful bride.

I never stop loving you Minhee, but I know that I won’t cross the boundaries. Best wishes for you and Jaehyun.

~fin~