1. Shine

“Thanks Yugyeom ah, I’ll treat you dinner next time” Jinyoung said with his hands rested on his younger brother’s shoulder. “No problem hyung, thanks for helping me a lot too. I’ll bring Bambam over next time, he has been whining on seeing you eye to eye ever since he heard you are going to move to Seoul” Yugyeom sighed, his boyfriend’s nagging playing in his mind.

“Of course you should, I want to see him too, whoever Bambam is, he’s very unlucky to date someone like you psh” Jinyoung smirked, shaking his head and showing his devil eyes, it has been a while since he teased his adorable younger brother.

“Okay hyung, don’t call me again if you wanna help or something. This is your first time ever coming to Seoul so, I think you are so capable of surviving on your own, bye bye” Yugyeom turned around to exit Jinyoung’s apartment with fake disappointment.

“Aigoo, don’t be like that, my yugyeomdoongieee” Jinyoung back hugged the younger, “You know that I love you, right?” Jinyoung giggled. Yugyeom was laughing upon his brother’s childishness but stopped when he heard that name.

“Hyung”

“What’s wrong?” Jinyoung asked out of concern.

“That was my pet name given by Mark hyung, are you still thinking about him? You told me you have moved on from him” Yugyeom faced his brother. Jinyoung’s face changed, anxious slowly building up in him.

‘Mark’

***

After Yugeom left, Jinyoung decided that he have to clear up his mind from a certain person named Mark Tuan. It has been years, yet that person still dwelling in his mind and heart. Of course, Jinyoung tried, he had been trying so hard to forget him and certainly, it wasn’t easy. That’s why he moved to Seoul, to start a new life with new surrounding, hoping that it would help somehow.

He already got a job as a teacher in high school, and will be starting in next week, an apartment which he used up all his savings to buy one and with Yugyeom’s help to live in this city, there’s should be no problem. He’ll forget about that person. It might take months but he’ll.

He went to his new kitchen to make some hot coffee, he breathed heavily. He had been trying to act like he had him forgotten in his life in front of his family because he didn’t want to worry them, but Yugyeom managed to catch him off guard.

After put his coffee on coffee table, he went to his room to pick up some books to read. Reading has been one of his methods to relieve his stress and depression. Books could give you another dimension in life and teach you valuable thing which the real world can’t. He still remember his older brother, Jaebum bought him the first novel on his 10^th birthday. He was so overwhelmed and it leads him to this habit.

The moment he entered his room, he could see everything has been unpacked. His new room was as clean and organized as well as all his books were placed neatly on his book shelf. As he walked to his book shelf, he was tripped over a box. It was hiding in the dark, that’s why he couldn’t see it. He squatted to move the light box. He was surprised because that box is a box of memories. The memories of him and Mark when they still together.

“I thought I have thrown this away, why it is here?” Jinyoung monologue while scratching his head. He examined the box and saw a regular size sticky note coloured in blue, he could recognized the handwritten which is Yugyeom’s.

‘Hyung, don’t be surprised when you found this box.

I kept it for a purpose. I know that you still couldn’t

move on from him, that’s why you couldn’t

bring yourself up to burn this box.

Hyung, i want you to burn this box

on your own and forgive him yourself. I know

you can do it. That moment when you thrown away

this box, you were angry at him, that’s why you don’t

fully forget about him yet, instead you blamed yourself.

But right now, I want you to forgive him, free yourself

from your own misery and start your life anew.

-Yugyeomie

Without him knowing, his tears rolled down his cheeks and onto the sticky note. Jinyoung brushed away his tears. He was so happy that Yugyeom, being the best younger brother he ever had, always there to help him during his hard and happy time. He thanked God and prayed for the younger’s happiness in his new life with Bambam.

He brought the box to his living room. He sipped the hot coffee as he prepared himself. He stripped away the tape and opened the box. There was a lot of handwritten letters from Mark, their photographs, cds, some presents for his birthday and for their memorable day and a ring which Mark used to propose to him before he met another person who have replaced his existence completely in Mark’s heart.

Jinyoung read the letters one by one given by Mark. His handwritten was neat and beautiful, completely represent himself, a quiet and intelligent person. Those letters show how Mark was completely head over heel for him. How he was one and only galaxy of him, how Mark needed him in his life and how he loved him. Each word could drive him crazy and be madly in love with the older. All the sweet, childish and sweet nicknames Mark used to give him never failed to give him butterflies. He smiled, the memories are too beautiful and precious to being forgotten.

‘Shadow, Jjinyoungieee, pumpkin, beautiful, milk, flower, my love…’

Mark’s different face expressions came up on his mind. How his beautiful eyes squinted and his perfect white teeth showing when he was laughing and smiling all too brightly. How he pouted cutely if Jinyoung forget to give him morning and night kisses or the kiss he wanted wherever and whenever. How he crying so graciously when he failed his examination or when he fight with his family and used to lean on his shoulder, craving for his advises, supports and love until he exhausted and fall asleep on his shoulder.

How he laughing loudly because he loved to tease and prank him but in the end he will apologize to him and treat him ice cream to wheedle him. How peaceful and beautiful his face was when he sleeping peacefully like a baby. How y he was when he trying to win every basketball match he entered for him. How desperate he was to get his attention and love.

He still remember that beautiful that moment, when both of them completely fool and blind for each other. They cannot be separated. Whenever there is Mark, there’s him and vice versa. He still remember when they meeting each other’s families to reveal their relationship. It was hard though, especially when Jinyoung’s family can’t accept him being gay and dated a foreigner. But they went through those hardships together until they were blessed by both families. That happened when Mark was looking after Jinyoung’s mother who was hospitalized for several days because of minor car accident. Jinyoung couldn’t make it on time because he was doing some research for his thesis in another state.

Jinyoung's mother was very thankful for Mark, she could see how big his heart is and how nice and caring he is towards other people. After that, Jinyoung’s family began treating him as their own family. Jinyoung was so happy that they could accept him and Mark. They even want them to get married quickly, approximately after Jinyoung graduated from university and that brought Mark to purpose to him weeks after. Mark was preparing a romantic date in a high class restaurant with the best food in town. Jinyoung couldn’t be any happier as he shed the tears of joy.

That memory hit him and his waterfall working again, the nonstop tears falling down his cheeks. He missed him. Very much.

Jinyoung traced all the letters he have finished read. The letters smelled of Mark. Being such a cheesy boyfriend Mark was, he sprayed some cologne on the letters because he wanted Jinyoung to think of him all the time after he read it. He was successful though.

Even after everything that happened between him and Mark that bring them to the eternal separation, he could accept it now. He was ready, to let him go and end this happily.

After that he took his laptop and inserted the cd which Mark recorded himself, saying happy birthday to him with beautifully edited video contained their moments together. Jinyoung’s heart broken for the nth times. He let the mixed feelings between sadness and happiness crushed him that night.

He also caressed the photographs of them smiling, doing silly faces selfies, Mark’s own selfies. He brought them to his lips and kissed them. ‘Oh, how I miss you’.

He was happy for Mark appeared in his life and managed to give him beautiful memories that outweigh the pain when he left him.

“Mark, thank you for choosing me to be the love of your life, it was such a beautiful memory I wanna treasure for the rest of my life even though it wasn’t eternal, I will cherish it a lot. I won’t forget about you Mark, as a person who was very special to me. But, I will forget all the pain, the scent and traces you left me. I won’t let it hold me back from finding my own happiness. Thank you so much. But still, I miss you and I hope I could meet you someday not with hatred but with pure happiness. This is the last tears I shed for you. I hope both of us will be happy wherever we are” Jinyoung said after his crying subdued little by little.

The radio in his living room that had been playing since evening invaded his sense, “Next song will be Shine by Kim Sungkyu that was requested by Mr. Yien, I hope we’ll meet again tomorrow our lovely listeners, right now, it has been your handsome but funny DJ Jackson, good night”. Jinyoung listen to the song as it accompany him throughout the sad night. Apparently, the song fit his situation perfectly.

1. was a fate huh?” Jinyoung smiled as he could recognized the requester.

Whenever this time of year comes, I always think of the words you used to say to me
Even after a long time passes and we’re not together
Please remember this dazzling and beautiful moment right now
Even if everything fades, don’t forget this moment and clearly remember it

I remember you, wordlessly kissing me as you held my hands
I miss you oh yes I do
I remember your eyes when you stood on my feet and whispered love to me
I miss you oh I still do

Whenever this season comes, I think of the last times of you and me
When everything got distant and couldn’t be turned around
At some point, a dark shadow was cast on the dazzling and shining moments
It was when the unkept promises were crumbling down without strength
But I

I remember you, wordlessly kissing me as you held my hands
I miss you oh yes I do
I remember your eyes when you stood on my feet and whispered love to me
I miss you oh I still do

Your voice, your eyes, your touch that lingered on me
I can’t forget any of those things – you’re so clear, it seems like we can touch when I hold out my hand
The sound of your breathing, your gestures, your touch that warmly embraced me
I can’t forget any of those things – you’re so clear, it seems like we can touch when I hold out my hand

I miss you

“I miss you, Mark” Jinyoung cried again. The requester’s name was part of Mark’s name too. Mark Tuan Yien, The name was in Chinese because Mark is a Chinese American. There probably a lot of people using that name but, maybe, just maybe it was Mark. It probably was send by Mark who probably thinking of him too. Because Mark used to have a lot of nicknames and he gave another people nicknames too.

187. wasn’t sure and didn’t care anymore. No more Mark after this. Right now, he will happily letting go of that person. He closed the box and brought it up to the kitchen to find a lighter. He took a big glass and burnt one by one the content of the box together with what has been dwelling in his heart.

“Farewell, Mark Tuan Yien”
 

***

The next day, Jinyoung collected the ashes of the memories and keep it into a big plastic bag, he also throw away all of the Mark’s sweaters and shirts that sometimes he wears whenever he missed the older’s presence and scent so much. He knew it, he can’t do that if he wanted to move on from him but him, himself can’t help it. But it’s over now, he never been so sure in his life.

Jinyoung went out of his apartment to get some air. When he reached the lobby, a guy stopped him. Jinyoung was confused, “Yes?”

That guy bowed to him “Good morning, sir. I just moved into my friend’s house today but he isn’t here to help me to carry my belongings and also, I never went to his apartment before so I didn’t know where his unit is. He just give me the number 0009, the number was kind of confusing to me, I don’t even know which one the floor is and I couldn’t call him because of he had meeting right now. I know it sounds disturbance but can you help me?” The guy’s face shows desperate.

“Oh his unit was located next to mine. Alright, let me help you” Jinyoung decided to help his new neighbour since helping the others doesn’t kill and that guy was kinda cute too, so why not?

He picked up the boxes and went to the lift with that guy. “Uhm sir, what’s your name” that guy broke the awkward silence between them.

“My name is Jinyoung, Park Jinyoung”

“Nice to meet you, Jinyoung-shi, my name is Lee Minhyuk”

“Nice to meet you too, Minhyuk-shi, I am 24” Jinyoung put down the boxes inside his neighbours’s house”

“Oh I was one year older than you, you can call me hyung kekeke” the older giggled.

“O…okay?” Jinyoung was kind of hesitated since they were just met. But he just smiled out of that guy’s cheerfulness and being modest.

“Yes, new dongsaeng, thank you for helping me out, Jinyoung ah. Let me offer you some coffee at the café nearby” Minhyuk offered.

“Sounds nice, besides, I just moved in here too and never went to the café here before” Jinyoung accepted happily while scratching his neck. It’s so random but it’s good though.

“Oh wow, we must be fated lol. Okay, let’s go” happiness reflected on Minhyuk’s face, his smile was so bright, Jinyoung slightly blushed.

“Let’s go” Jinyoung smiled at him.

“Oh and Jinyoung ah, are you, perhaps, single?” Minhyuk blurted out that question shamelessly but he really did curious though.

“Yeah, why?” Jinyoung was taken aback.

“Nice, you kinda cute actually” Minhyuk just smiled sheepishly.

Little did he know Jinyoung was blushing madly behind him. He probably ready for someone new in his new life that was just started today, Jinyoung thought.

Minhyuk’s age made him remember of Mark, they’re same ages. ‘I miss you, Mark. Please wish me happiness’ he said to himself.

“Oh it’s raining, come quick, Jinyoung ah” Minyuk held his hand and ran to the café with his other hand shielding from the rain. It caught Jinyoung off guard upon the feeling of softness of Minhyuk’s hand.

“O-okay hyung” Jinyoung smiled, it has been a while since someone hold his hands other than Mark. It surprisingly brought out the feeling of safeness and comfort. He could feel butterflies in his stomach, which he wanted to deny so bad. There’s no way someone who he just met make him feel like this, it took weeks for Mark but this guy just need less than our to do that. There’s no way, Jinyoung shook his head to bring up some sanity in himself.

‘Or was this guy actually capable of doing that to me?’ Jinyoung asked himself. Jinyoung brushed away any thoughts that might embarrass him later, he just let himself enjoy the so-called-date with his new neighbour. He had decided to free himself and he’ll do it right now. Nothing could hold him back like the past years before.

***

Little did Jinyoung knew, there’s a guy who was watching him from afar with umbrella in his hand. That guy completely covered himself with a pair of sunglasses, a black cap and black shirt and jeans. Uddenly, his tears rolling down his cheeks without him knowing. He moved his fingers under the sunglasses to shed the tears or rain drop as he denying himself.

He has always been searching for Jinyoung the moment he saw Jinyoung at Incheon International Airport as he as a steward of flight company now. Jinyoung passed him and somehow caught his eyes. He was surprised at first but he trusted his guts and he followed Jinyoung secretly for days. He believed that he still couldn’t move on from the younger after years.

“I miss you so much, Jinyoung. I wish you all the happiness you deserve. I’m so sorry that I was a coward to show up myself to you, to hug you, to shed your tears that caused by me, to make you mine again. I’m sorry but I was so afraid of making the move. I’ve been hurting you for so long, I am sorry Jinyoung. I hope you’re happy now. Please don’t forget me” Mark smiled and turned back, leaving the two guys chatting awkwardly but their eyes filled with happiness.

Whenever this time of year comes, I always think of the words you used to say to me
Even after a long time passes and we’re not together
Please remember this dazzling and beautiful moment right now
Even if everything fades, don’t forget this moment and clearly remember it

I remember you, wordlessly kissing me as you held my hands
I miss you oh yes I do
I remember your eyes when you stood on my feet and whispered love to me
I miss you oh I still do

Song : Shine by Kim Sungkyu (INFINITE)

Album : Another Me

-The End-

___________________________________________________

This is my first markjin fanfic, I was so

Overwhelmed by this song and Markjin

Moments keep showing up on tl so here’s the

Fic. I’m sorry if I was lacking, I will

Work harder to write better fanfic.

p/s : English isn’t my mother tongue,

I will learn harder. Thank you for reading,

I will be very happy if you leave your comment below.

Happy Markjin Day, markjin shippers yeorobun :)