Wordcount: 3239

 

 

 

 

Jennie had been attracted to Lisa from the very beginning.

There was something about her, Jennie couldn’t quite put her finger on it, she just knew she liked the girl.

The day Lisa was introduced to the rest of the trainees she completely caught them off guard. Sure, they had been told that the new recruit was a good dancer, but none of them had expected her to watch the choreography once and memorize the whole thing.

Jennie was impressed, to say the least.

When Jennie introduced herself, first in Korean, then in English, Lisa gave her the brightest smile she had ever seen.

Naturally, after that first day, Jennie befriended and started to admire the younger girl.

Not only was Lisa a good dancer, she was a hard worker. The mere fact that she came all the way from Thailand, all alone, to start training under YG and learn Korean at the same time was inspiring. Jennie didn’t know how she could pull it all off, but she did.

It came as a pleasant surprise to both girls when the company decided to have Jennie switch dorm rooms and share one with Lisa instead. They reasoned that Jennie was the perfect candidate to help Lisa improve her Korean outside of classes and both girls happily complied. Jennie liked her previous roommate but she wanted to get to know Lisa better, and what better way than to live with her?

Somewhere along the way Jisoo and Chaeyoung joined them.

 

Their friendship came more naturally than breathing.

 

Somewhere along the way Lisa’s feelings for Jennie changed from those of friendship to something else.

 

**

 

Lately Jennie had noticed that Lisa was constantly showering her with affection: compliments, hand holding, hugs, cuddling, kissing.

It wasn’t something new, per se, Lisa had always been affectionate. In fact, she did the exact same thing with Jisoo and Chaeyoung. The problem didn’t really lie with Lisa, at least not in this case.

The problem lay with Jennie.

Before, she would take the younger girl’s affection calmly and with a smile on her face.

Now?

Now, a mere smile from the younger girl put her on edge.

A compliment had her blushing like a schoolgirl.

A brush of their hands sent tingles up her arm.

A hug gave her butterflies.

And a kiss?

A simple kiss on the cheek nearly had her heart beating out of her chest.

Jennie didn’t like it.

Not one bit.

 

**

 

It didn’t exactly take a genius to notice that Jennie had been trying to keep her distance from Lisa for nearly two months.

Lisa, of course, noticed within one week.

Every time Lisa invited her out, just the two of them, Jennie would come up with a flimsy lie as to why she couldn’t.

Every time she touched her, while there were no cameras around, the brunette would almost immediately pull away and make up an excuse to be somewhere else.

Every time they found themselves alone in the dorm the brunette would lock herself in her room alone and say she just needed time to herself or was too tired and needed a nap.

Every single time.

Lisa was sick of it.

She wished Jennie just told her what she did that was so wrong for her to be avoiding her like the plague.

 

**

 

Jennie noticed the way Lisa seemed to deflate whenever she made up an excuse to be away from her.

She noticed the pouts and the sadness that consumed Lisa’s eyes after every rejection.

She told herself it was necessary.

She knew the feelings she had for the younger girl weren’t normal. It simply wasn’t how friends were supposed to be.

At some point, she started dreaming about Lisa. At first it was an innocent, friendly, date that could well pass for two close friends who were out together. Then, there was the one where they kissed like two lovesick teenagers and Jennie enjoyed every second of it. Soon after she started dreaming of Lisa dancing with sharp, fluid, movements and that somehow morphed into something else entirely. Something that set her core ablaze and had her waking up, soaked in her own sweat, with a moan on her lips.

“Lisa.”

She sat bolt upright, her eyes immediately widened in horror, and she clamped shut.

Lisa’s room was right next door.

Oh, no. Did she hear?

Not five seconds later Lisa barged in through her doorway, eyes full of concern, and scanned the room for anything that seemed out of place.

Jennie stiffened under the covers when the blonde’s gaze fell upon her. Lisa’s eyes softened at the sight of the brunette’s disheveled appearance and she stepped further into the room until she came to a stop just by Jennie’s bedside.

“Unnie, are you okay?”

“I- I’m fine,” Jennie waved her off

“Really? I thought I heard you call me.”

“I was just…sleep talking.”

“Did you have a nightmare?”

Jennie shook her head.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me.” Lisa sat beside her and reached for her hand only for Jennie to immediately pull away, as if burned.

Lisa frowned, “Why do you keep doing that?”

Jennie’s wide eyes snapped up to meet her own.

“Why do you keep avoiding me?” Lisa hung her head. “What did I do?”

Jennie stared at the younger girl in silence, she was at a loss for words.

How was she supposed to tell her that her feelings had changed? That she couldn’t stand to be around her any longer because her body reacted differently? That she couldn’t deal with the hurricane of emotions because she felt like her own life was spinning out of control, all due to one single girl? How was she supposed to tell Lisa that she was in love with her without ruining absolutely everything?

She couldn’t.

And so, she kept her silence.

“Whatever I did, just tell me,” the younger girl turned her pleading eyes to the brunette.

Jennie shook her head once more.

“Unnie,” she reached for her hand again and was finally successful, “I can’t stand you avoiding me all the time. I need you. Please, I just want to fix it.”

Jennie saw the tears threatening to spill out of the younger girl’s eyes and her heart clenched within her chest. She never liked seeing Lisa hurt. Yet, here she sat, with the younger girl before her. Lisa was hurting because of her.

Maybe she had been approaching this the wrong way.

She swallowed the lump in and spoke.

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“Yes, you are, I’m not stupid. You don’t think I noticed? Do you really think I’m that oblivious?”

A lone tear made its way down her pale cheek and Jennie had the sudden urge to stop it in its tracks.

“Lisa-,”

“Please, just tell me and I’ll make it right.”

“You can’t.”

“What?”

“You can’t make it right…Lisa, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why have you been-,”

Jennie pulled the taller girl into a hug and buried her face in her neck.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled against her skin, “I was being stupid. I’m so sorry.”

Lisa, content with finally having the older girl in her arms again, hugged her back.

“That’s not a good reason,” she mumbled into dark hair.

“It’s not, I’m sorry.”

“You won’t tell me, will you?”

“No.”

“Will you stop avoiding me?”

If it makes you happy.

“Yes.”

“Good…I missed you,” Lisa pulled back slightly to place a kiss on her temple.

Jennie stiffened, just slightly, then made herself relax under the younger girl’s touch. Maybe, this time, she could soldier through and bury her feelings.

 

 

(She couldn’t, not really.)

 

**

 

Things had gone back to normal, kind of.

After they made up, for some reason, Lisa started being even more touchy than before. She felt like she had somethin