i saw a guy in my dream. the way he dressed was still clear in my mind. he was wearing a white polo that is inserted into his denim jeans, his shoes were a pair of converse high. he's nonchalantly carrying the boyfriend look style which is cliche in men's fashion nowadays. that time, my heart skipped a beat and right now, that feeling is still familiar to me.


due to that insanely skipping a beat of my heart, my mind was wrecked. i'm thinking of how his face looks like. because when i tried to look at his face, it utterly became blurred which my vision couldn't fight through. 

in my dream, i clearly did run next to him and out of instinct, i hugged him tight but out of blue, he vanished like an ashed.

i thought, it would wake me up but before i open my eyes, i distinctly heard someone's voice; speaking with an adorable voice that is really fluffy: 

"when things get rough around you, quickly call me. no hesitations, no doubts just call me and burst it out. i'm always ready to console you. understand, darling?" 

because of that unfamiliar voice in my dream, my mind wasn't just wrecked but corrupted as well. that line, it keeps on repeating like a line from a song that i love. 

that's why

his whole existence in my dream is exactly the significance of food in my life. silly right?
i seriously want to see his face. i want to familiarize every detail of him; from the strand of his hair down to the tip of his finger toes

so,
is that a sign of liking someone or just a mere instinct of a human who eagerly wants to know the whole story in his/her cropped dream? 

i'm confused, dammit!

...

"are you alright, spring?"

it took me approximately longer than 1 minute to answer winter's question. i don't know how to answer her whether i'll say, i'm fine but actually i'm not or i'm not and i'm going to state my reason for being not in my proper mind right now. 

"you seem spacing out so much today, is there something messing up your mind?" 
she asked.

this is bad! she knew what i'm thinking. what should i say now?

i fake a cough and turn around my swivel chair to avoid her gaze. i seriously want to tell her but i don't want her to worry about me that the reason why i'm spacing out so much is because a mere dream is corrupting my mind like a hacked data. i don't want her also to think that i'm being like this knowing her,  that in this reason of mine, she'll absolutely think of it as shallow.

dreaming to someone you don't know is normal. many people across the world might dream faceless person but they don't mind about it and just let the time forget the uncontinued story. 

i massaged both sides of my temple before opening my mouth to answer her.

this situation of mine is stressing me out. honestly.
"well, i'm fine." 
so 3 words i uttered were all lie. i'm not fine actually.

i stood up and make a way to the kitchen area. but before i take a step towards the said area, i heard she deeply sighed.
winter's hobby is worrying her one and only friend and that is me. whenever she feels i'm not into myself, she'll assume things up and acts like my mom. 
asking different questions, like an antorrny interroagting his/her client.

 so that makes me worry to tell her truth.

i couldn't see what face she is making right now so i spun around to look at her eye to eye. 
" i think you are not."
she nonchalantly said and looking at me eye to eye. 

she stood up from sitting on the sofa so she walk few steps to me and hardly pat me on my shoulders. 
i flinched due to slightly pain but i manage to smile at her. 
 

she's right, i'm not okay but here i am, lying to her.
do i feel guilty? yes, i am. 

"yes i were."

shoot, this answer is somehow true but half of it is not.
i'm still not but unlike before it's better not worse. 

"were? so you were not fine? why?"
she damn shoot 3 questions in a one sentence. looking at her eye, i can see "worry" and "concern" 
so i guess, i have to say it. 

i hold my waist left waist with my left hand and walking repeatedly from left to right, vise versa. 
i don't know how to explain it to her. imagining her possible reaction after knowing the story. 

she'll definitely laugh at it. 

"okay, i was not okay but i'm fine now so you don't have to worry anymore."
i said. i fasten my pace as i'm holding my chin with my right hand and still walking vise versa. 
i'm getting p