THING TO KNOW BEFORE READING: 1. The text like this (in black) is Jinyoung POV and thoughts as for the rest of the story is normal.

And just in case you guys don't know "mangas"are comics created in Japan or by creators in the Japanese language,"Manga" as a term used outside Japan refers to comics originally published in Japan

As we grow old we start to become more conscious. More conscious of our surroundings, of our environment, of the people that surround of, of life itself. Why do we live? Why are we here? Am I doing it alright? All those question were left behind long ago. Life is to short to be stuck with existential doubts, as we grow old we realize how little important material thing and even studies are for life itself. I read in a book a long time ago that if you lead an honest and full good actions life you will find happiness... I disagree with that! First of all how can somebody actually do that in this so gross and unstable world and second What exactly is happiness? Can I touch happiness? Is it the money in our pockets? Is it our families? Or maybe is just a concept?
As I grow old i realized that the only thing I'm sure is that to me, happiness, has been and will always be you...


"Jinyoungie help me move this box" Mark voice sounded troubled so Jinyoung hurried outside, between the two boys they pick up the huge and heavy box and placed it on the spaciously living room.
"What is it here?" Jinyoung asked while caressing his hand that now felt a bit sore after moving so many boxes.
"Mangas" Mark answered a wide smile on his face.
"Geek!"
"Said the one who have two entire box of books, Bookworm!"
"Geek"
"Bookworm"
"Geek"
"Bookworm" Mark stood up and placed his arms around Jinyoung waist. "The most beautiful and adorable bookworm" They both giggled.
Jinyoung also placed his arms around Mark and looked at his eyes.
"Are you excited?"
Mark nodded.
"Aren't you scare? Living together is a big step" Jinyoung tried to hide his worry.
"Not even I bit" Mark placed a soft kiss on Jinyoung's forehead "I never been this sure about something"

Living together, that was something that brings chills to Jinyoung's back, he was always afraid of commitment and this type of stuff made him feel uneasy yet here he was fixing his clothes on the small closet that he will now share with Mark.
They moved to an apartment close to Jinyoung's university and Marks job, they choose between a lot of places and many buildings until they found the perfect one, not just in price but also in the location not to tell the proportions of the place. It was small but perfect for the two person that where going to live there from today onward.
The table, the TV, the shelf, the small oven, the sofa even the carpet in the front door were now from both, Mark and Jinyoung. It made him exited and at the same time scare, this is what been in love really feels like.

 

"How are things going?" Jaebum asked as he placed a cup of coffee in front of Jinyoung. "Its been what three months since you two moved together" Jaebum said but Jinyoung didn't even move "are you fine?"
"I... Don't know" Jinyoung looked trough the window not really paying attention.
"What is that suppose to mean?" Jaebum said amused.
"I really don't know" Jinyoung took a sip of the coffee Bitter he thought.
"Aren't you two getting along well?"
"Better than never"
They stayed in silence for a while drinking the coffee while it was still hot, they stared through the window, it was a nice weather today, even the birds where singing.
It seemed like the perfect weather to be with Mark on a picnic date... Ahhh even now I'm thinking of him...
Jinyoung felt the warmth creeping his cheeks, he was blushing.
"I think" Jinyoung broke the silence still looking through the window apreaciating the view "I'm happy..."
Jaebum directed his gaze to the younger and noticed his blush and a small smile, he then looked back at the window.
"Good for you."

 

In the mornings the first thing I see is you, the first thing I feel is the warmth of your arms around me, the first thing I smell is your essence. Everyday now my days are filled with you...


"Breakfast is ready!" Mark said as he walked past Jinyoung.
He was fixing his hair while checking his clothes, is not like he worries for how he looks but he is definitely sure he don't want embarrass himself. University was being a pain and his body and soul felt tired, even though he couldn't compare with Mark, his work was definitely more draining and tiresome, even now the eye bags where growing and now the time he stays can stay awake at night is shorter than before yet he still got time to make food, he doesn't deserve this kind men beside him, but Jinyoung has always been selfish enough to not care about deserving and that kind of stuff.
"What is this?" Jinyoung honestly asked. "You are always trying weird stuff"
It looked like a pancake with fruits as Strawberry's, blueberry and bananas, with some cream and nutella maybe? It looked like a failed attempt of a crepe but somehow something seem weird and it didn't seem good.
"If you don't like it don't eat it" Mark looked away while sulking what a lovable human being.
"Is good!" Jinyoung took a huge piece of the crepe and swallowed it whole. It is actually good.
"Don't believe you" Mark sulked.
"It is! I swear, I'll never lie to you"
Mark scanned Jinyoung and then looked down trying to hide his smile, how cute of him. They ate calmly and peacefully.

Morning like this are always happy the months pass and the time spent with you is priceless. Even food, no matter what it is, how it looks or how it taste, as long as he is with me everything is delicious.


 

"Never ever!" Jinyoung sang along with a random song playing in the radio while cleaning the house. "Never gonna let you go dasi neoreul tteonaji ana geokjeonghajima Baby you’re mine mine mine"
Mark was sitting on a small table beside the window, his work was pilling up and his stress was getting him on the edge.
"Jinyoung-ah can I lower the volume" Mark asked while caressing his head. "I can't concentrate" Mark lowered the music to a more acceptable volume.
Jinyoung continued singing loudly and messy not really caring what his lover just said "uri maengsehaebolkka Let’s try it maeume gyeyageul hae Let’s sign it"
Mark lowered his pen and gently hit gis head agaisnt the table. His head ache was growing.
"Get the ink get the pen naneun mangseorimi eopseo ije ije!!!"
"Can you please shut up!" Mark raised his voice. "Can you be more considerate I'm trying to work."
In life you need to learn when is worth to let go of an argument pacifically and avoid an useless argument and went to go all out on a person. Until today Jinyoung hasn't learn the diference...
"Don't raise your voice to me!" Jinyoung said raising his voice "and I'm also doing something here can't you see?"
"You can do that other time I need to finish this for tomorrow, I need silence!"
"I need to clean this too! Go to the room if you want silence"
"This is my house and I can't even work peacefully?!!" Mark argued
"Is my house too if you don't like it then leave!"
"Great!"
Mark started to get his stuff inside his bag.
"What are you doing?" Jinyoung was glaring at Mark. But Mark just ignored him.
"Mark what are you-" Jinyoung tried to hold Mark arm but his arm was easily pushed and that just made the younger more angry.
He picked some papers and putted inside Mark's bag "don't forget this! and also this!" Jinyoung raised his voice.
Mark closed the bag and stood up he walked through the living room with Jinyoung following behind, is he leaving, is he really...
"Mark!" Jinyoung exclaimed. "Mark!!" Again he tried but the older won't look at him.
"Mark!"he held the older arm and finally got a look of his face. A tear was rolling down on Mark's cheek. Mark removed his arm violently of Jinyoung grips he opened the door and left.
Jinyoung stood there for a while trying to process what just happened until he left his body fall in front of the door. He leaned his back against the door and placed his arms around his legs hugging them while resting his head on top of them.
"What did I do?" Jinyoung lamented alone in that small and empty apartment.

When he woke up he didn't want to open his eyes, he somehow got the strength to move to the bed last night but crying stole the remaining strength he had, when was the last time he cry himself to sleep, this was like 6 or maybe 7 months ago, who knows, this past months have been like heaven.

I remember it! The last time I cry myself to sleep. That time it was also because of you the day of that news... I guess Mark has always been the only one to make my feeling get this messy *sigh* Is this how it's going to be when that time comes? I wonder... How much time we have left...

Even if he felt the essence of Mark that was stuck in the bed they use to share, he didn't feel the warmth of Mark arms around him and Mark won't be the first thing he will see in the morning. Somehow all this made him feel empty. Maybe, just maybe he should just go back to sleep and when hw wakes up all this will be just a nightmare.

"Jinyoungie?" Jinyoung felt how something was shaking him as if it was trying to wake him up.
"Hey Park Jinyoung" Mark whispered to Jinyoung ear his voice deep and somehow y was sending shivers to Jinyoung's back.
"Mark!" Jinyoung opened his eyes and as soon as his eyes lay on the older he hugged him, as if he was trying to hold him and never letting go, even if he knows he will have to let him go eventually...
"Mark I'm just... I was" Jinyoung tried to said between sobs, his tears uncontrollably leaving his eyes.
"I'm sorry!" Mark mumbled "I shouldn't have raised my voice"
"No, its my fault" Jinyoung sat on Mark lap still not letting go of the older. "I shouldn't have say those harsh words, this is your house and my house also" Jinyoung moved back a little but still keeping his hands on the older shoulders "everything here is ours, even I am yours so please don't leave like that again" Jinyoung let his sobs overtake him and Mark held the younger against his chest. Jinyoung could hear how fast his heart was beating and it somehow made him feel calmer and relaxed.
In life you need to learn when is worth to let go of an argument pacifically and avoid an useless argument and when to go all out on a person. Until today Jinyoung still hasn't learn the difference however he now knows that no matter the what is never worth to argue with Mark.



I read in a manga that Mark gave me a characters said "if you write a story about me it will definetily be a tragedy" that made me wonder, how would our story be... If it was just me I would prefer a sad story, romantic books made me bored to dead but a good sad story gives you feelings and awakes sentiments that you didn't even know you could feel, at least that's for me. But if I have to include you in it, I'll definitely and without a doubt choose fluffy lovely and sweet story with the most happy ending that somebody could write even if I wouldn't probably read that kind of story, that's what I want with you. I wonder if somebody writes a book about us how would you want it to be, Mark...

 

"Are we compatible?" Jinyoung read out loud.
"Yes!" Mark said without doubt, his eyes closed.
"Is a test to see how compatible a couple is" Jinyoung explained
"That's nonsense" Mark mumbled. He was laying practically all over Jinyoung, while the younger was under Mark on his phone scrolling through the internet where he found the compatibility test.
"Why? We just have to put our names and they will give us a percent"
"That means that if we get a good score you will be compatible with every Mark in the world? I don't like that" Mark placed his face closer to Jinyoung's neck.
"It includes the last name too, I don't think there's a lot of Mark Tuan in the world" Jinyoung exclaimed, he felt Marks warm breathe in his neck and it sends shivers all over his body.
"We have live together for eleven months already, isn't that enough to know we are compatible?" Mark stated his voice deeper than usually as he is half sleep half awake.
"Eleven months already..." Jinyoung sighed "I wish time will stop right now, here"
Mark looked up and looked deeply at Jinyoung face.
"Im not crying" Jinyoung argued as soon as he noticed the older eyes on him.
Mark smiled warmly and placed a soft kiss on the younger lips.
"Let's do that name compatibility test?!" Jinyoung asked.
"Okay" Mark gave in, he always did, he wanted to protect the younger smile more than anything in this world.



As the bookworm that i am i enjoy of choosing my fav quotes of the books i read and one that caught my eye was one that the author said that "The weak fear happiness itself. They can harm themselves