27th March, 2017.

"Jin and I have known each other for ten years now. Childhood best friends through our parents was how it started.

All these years, we were inseparable. It didn't made sense, not one bit in our relationship did it ever made sense to anyone as to how we were able to get along despite our huge differences. 

Jin is what we call - he agrees too, "a man too beautiful for his own good". He likes the idea and thinks that anyone who thinks so isn't wrong. Jin liked to scold me and acted more like a mother to me than my own mother.

He cared too much and supported me through everything. A friend that was always there. Who would've thought that the result of his actions would be my fault. 

But the only fault I had was trusting you. For believing that what we had wasn't as insignificant as you made it to be. I'm sorry for the one to have made it possible to end it but I won't forgive you for letting it shatter to nothing.

The memories I hoped to keep forever in my heart is now the one that's holding me back. 

But do we really know anything about such a complex term called love? We were only so young and the only bond we had was that I was your best friend and you were mine."

 

________________

 

2nd May, 2017. Start of first year in Seoul High School.  

I sat at the back of the class, avoiding being stuck near the teacher for the rest of the year. Students quickly flooded inside the room and like me, tried to sit near the back rather than at the front. 

A girl with hair braided tightly on top of her head, squealed in delight when her friend entered the room. As I scanned the room, I decided that the seat next to the window is going to help me stay sane for the rest of the year. 

There were two vacant seats next to the windows and I half ran to one that was nearest to me, gaining the attention of the people around me on the way. I noticed a boy approaching my-now-seat before I marked it as my own. As he was about a step near me, I popped my earphones in both my ears and played Rain by BTS.

I pretended not to see him as I watch the scenery the window possessed as a gesture of triumph. He stood there for a full five seconds and I sighed in relief when he finally walked away. But the joy didn't last as I realised that he chose to take the seat next to me. So much for trying to pick the most comfortable seat in the class. 

It took more than five minutes before the whole class had finally found the classroom that was probably bombarded of books and education because it seems to be easy not to find it. Even the teacher found it difficult to make it in class in time. Oh, how I wish I never find myself in a such a situation since I would never want my dear, precious classmates and teacher to worry nor waste their time waiting for me. 

And my overflowing love for the class reached another impossible amount as the teacher, who introduced himself as Mr. Jeong, decided that we should start by further wasting everyone's time and introduce ourselves one by one. 

The first to introduce herself was Kang Seulgi. The most noticeable feature of hers was her stern looking eyes along with her tight pony tail that added more to her strict aura. She was confident as she spoke and have seemed to have already taken the role of the class's leader. I can already tell everyone have developed some form of respect for such a young woman. 

The rest of the class did what they had to do, no one gave me a strong impression like Seulgi did though. The class was full of timid looking girls, guys who wanted to be anywhere but here and just students who really didn't want to be at school. Education is important but this generation seems to have forgotten the significance of it.

It was then my turn to introduce myself. 

Standing up, I look dead on at the teacher and said in a tone that wasn't intended. I was always thought to be cold and unapproachable. I love it. 

"I'm Kwon Sera." 

Mr. Jeong looked displeased at my lack of participance and how small I was willing to share to the class. I didn't mind. I've decided that i'm going to stick being a like I was and not go through a tiring and worthless transformation. You're not suppose to achieve your New Years resolutions anyways.

As I sat down, I accidentally made eye contact with the guy; who I stole a seat from, and his eyes wore a successful concealment of his emotions. His face was of a blank expression. 

He has dark hair with a slight wave in it, covering his forehead. His eyes were round and doe. But what I couldn't stop looking at is the small scar just under his eyes. It wasn't obvious for others but it was fascinating for me. 

As he stood up, the next thing I notice was his height. He was pretty tall for a first year and his physique was well proportioned. 

He cleared his throat before he began, "My name's Jeon Jeongguk. I hope to get along with everyone." And then he bowed. 

And the last thought I had of him that day was how formal he was. 

 

________________

 

It's only been a week and I'm already done with this school. Those months of being positive has gone to nil as each seconds passed by felt like I was slowly being pushed to suffocate. The only reason I still go to school is my love for education. What forces me not to go are the people I'm stuck in it with. Almost all of them has made it their goal to appeal themselves to the opposite gender.

This means that my choice of friends are close to none as the small amount of people that doesn't share the same outlook of finding love ,made this friendship thing feel like a game of hide and seek.

And the only thing I look forward to; which is my education, is going nowhere as Mr. Jeong have proven himself to be the laziest teacher I have ever encountered. To prevent "problems" in the future, he decided that everyone will be partnered with the person sitting next to them for the first half of the year. Meaning I'm stuck with blank-face Jeongguk who have made it his goal of ignoring my existence for the whole eternity.

The guy thinks it's cool to ignore you while he spoils everyone. He's chivalrous to the girls and understanding to the boys. He's practically made himself the class's counselor, how he made it possible, I have no idea. All I know is that he can hold a grudge like no other.

And now I'm stuck in the library waiting for him to decide to show his mighty . Mr. Jeong gave both of us the task to search for the best place to have the class's trip. Apparently, we needed to find one that's isolated and is affordable. I wish I was paired up with Seulgi instead because she'sbasically in charge of the whole thing. I could be her assisstant or something. I wouldn't mind waiting for her than waiting for lil birdie-like Jeongguk.

It was nearing 5 o'clock when I acknowledged the fact that he wasn't going to show his face. The guy must really hate my guts. Chivalry is definitely a virtue of his but his hatred for me has made him break an obvious value. How my brain works of hoping that he is at least a bit guilty is the only thing that's keeping me from screaming out of frustration.

On the way out, I greeted the librarian goodbye and decided to check the classroom if Jeongguk is having a mental breakdown between his pride or his virtue. I'm kidding myself, he sees me as unimportant as a chewed gum to have that kind of moment for me.

I decided against my first choice and made a quick turn to go home for the day. I can just give Jeongguk the crap tomorrow and add a fresh cut on his face.

My footsteps echoed against walls after walls and is the only sound I could hear. The sun was nearing down, giving the halls a tranquil sense as the huge windows reflected the mix of flaxen amber and red. The vast contrast of the usual loud chattering of students and the current soothing peace emitted an effect of the utmost serenity.

The sound of another footsteps gave a rhythmic music with my own. A familiar dark head I haven't seen for months had given me a whole new other feelings. Mixed to the point that rendered me speechless. He's gotten taller, much taller. He seems to have a grown a lot in those times that I didn't see him. Why I thought I wouldn't see him here reminded me that I was still in denial of how easy it was. How easy it was to break something you've had for years. That connection you thought you'd never lose, and how you believed that it was impossible to happen. At first, I was astonished at the sudden contact.

And then I felt nothing. It was like I was trapped and drowning under a thick layer of freezing ice. I couldn't breathe and there was this thing stuck in my throat that I couldn't put down. I couldn't move nor talk, it was like all senses left my body.

We passed each other in the halls like the last ten years was nothing but a dream I wished I never had.