You’re staring at the boy in front of you, his cheeks are stuffed with the lunch you made for him. When he feels that you’re not munching your food anymore, he looks up at you, raising both his eyebrows as if asking you why aren’t you eating?

You flash him a smile, shaking your head. “It’s nothing,” before taking a bite on your egg roll.

Last week he told you that he’s been thinking real hard about chasing his dream for real. Which means he’s been thinking of leaving this small warm hometown of Daegu to come to the faraway metropolitan city of Seoul. You told him that he should go after his dreams wherever it may go, but that time, deep down you knew you would never be able to have the heart to see him going so far away from you.

Deep down you are scared, but this is one thing the boy that you love with everything that you got wants to do, something that he wants to achieve ever since he was a child and you know that. You know that more than anyone else.

So you just smiled at him and told him you would support him through everything.

You know that nothing is stopping him, not even you.

You’re reading your favorite book, your head resting on his shoulder. Your right hand is on your book while your left is tight in his big one. His cheek pressed against your head. You want to say that you have your mind on the book, but you also can’t hide the fact that ever since he told you he’s considering going away (to chase his dream, of course) your mind hasn’t been with you.

He shifts, hand still tight gripping yours. He turns to look at you, and you naturally put your book down to your lap, eyes immediately looking at him, but he isn’t looking at you. Instead, he takes your other hand. He brings your hands to his lap, holding them too tight—a little bit too tight. He’s still not looking at you.

When he takes a deep breath, you know what’s going to happen, and you swear to God, your heart starts to beat a little faster. You have the sudden urge to let go of his hands, to prevent what’s going to happen next. But then you also know, that he has no one to hold his hands even when he’s battling with himself and with his mental state just to chase his dream. Not even his family.

“I’m… I’m going to Seoul next week.” You don’t say anything. When the words leave his mouth you felt like your stomach is being stabbed with a knife repeatedly, but you should’ve seen this coming. You should’ve known it’s coming, sooner or later. You can’t hear anything except those ringing noise in your ear. It’s as if the whole world stops right there. You begin to feel your eyes getting hotter.

He seems to be waiting for you to say something—anything.  But you haven’t. You can’t. You’re scared that the moment you open your mouth, you’re going to choke by your own tears. You know you can’t make him stay, and you don’t want to make him stay.

When you make no sign of saying anything, he sighs, “I’m sorr-,”

“No,” you cut him real fast. “No, don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry for wanting to chase your dream to the fullest. You know that it’s never, and will never be your fault.” You’re surprised you aren’t crying, yet.

You never have to ask if he’s sure or not, because you know more than anyone that this is one thing he’s very sure about. You know best about his dream, about his talents, about his love and passion for music, and you’re the luckiest person in this world, for being the one he shares his dream to. For being the ears of his thoughts. For being his number one support when no one else cares about his dreams.

You know more than anyone that this is what Min Yoongi wants.

“Have you told your parents? Do they know?” You sniff, trying to not make it look obvious you’re about to cry, but he probably already knows.

He shakes his head. “Only Hyung knows about this.”

You sigh, “Yoongi..,”

“I know.” He runs his hand through his hair, being in somewhat frustration. “I know I have to tell them one way or another.. And I’m going to... I promise. And no matter what their answer will be, I am still going to Seoul.”

The words hurt you like knives, but you treasure the boy before you so much you let the words hurt you. You’ve seen him at his worst, you’ve seen him skipping meals, and you were even there when it was 3 a.m in the morning when he called you, saying he wanted to end everything. And everything included himself. You ran all the way to his safe house, the playground where you two first met when you were both 5. You found him curled up inside the little tunnel, all crying and messy. A knife was beside him and you were glad it was untouched. You pulled him closer until the sun rose, letting him cry his heart out.

You’ve seen him at his worst, but you are also the witness of his rebirth as a boy with a dream he’s been meaning to make come true. You are the one who wants him to achieve his dream no matter what. You’ve been his only solace when the whole world turns its back at him.

You love him, you really do.

And you’re letting him go.

“So, this week is going to be the last week of our relationship.” You said, smiling, and he knows it’s a fake smile. He doesn’t say a word, instead, he traces the feature of your face, tucking some strands of your hair behind your ear. His touch melts your heart but you know in a matter of a week, you will lose him.

Your vision becomes blurry, way too blurry that you bit your lip, not wanting to blink because the second you blink, tears will definitely fall. But it’s so hard, it’s just so hard. Way too hard.

Tears fall, and a sob comes out of your mouth without warning. Your hold in his hands are getting tighter as you sink your face even lower, not wanting him to look at you. But he lets go of his grip, cupping your face, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. He leans in to touch his forehead to yours.

“I’m okay..,” you hold on to his hands. “I’m okay…, just give me a moment.”

Then he pulls you into his embrace, his hands rubbing your back, calming you down, but you are not close to calming down. His familiar scent and the warmth of his embrace make your sobs getting louder and louder, your hands are trembling, grasping his jacket so tight. He whispers sweet words into your ears, how he loves you and will always be thankful for your support this whole time. He really is thankful for you, for everything that you’ve done for him.

After half an hour of you keep saying to yourself in your mind that it’s okay, it’s going to be okay and it all will be worth it for him. It’s okay. You will see him get what he’s been wanting to have, you’re starting to calm down. Your grip on his jacket loosen, you lean back from him, wiping the tears off from your face.

“I’m okay, really.” You sniff. “I’m going to miss you so bad, that’s for sure.” You laugh, taking a deep breath and exhale. You take his hands, looking straight into his eyes with your puffy wet ones. “But you know that I know this is how things are supposed to be. You can reach your dream, you and I know that.” You smile so wide at him, wanting him to know that he has your every support. Wanting him to know that you really are okay. Well, you are not okay, there is no denying the fact. But you will be okay. You will be okay. Just not now. But you will definitely be okay.

“I love you, Min Yoongi. You and your talented . I love you.”

You admire him so much, you admire him of how passionate he is with his dream, how determined he is to achieve everything he wants to achieve. He’s just 17 but he has so much within him.

He stares into your puffy eyes, finding nothing but your support and love. And in that moment, he is the most thankful for you.

So he cups your face, leans in and presses his lips against yours. You melt into his kiss just like you always do. He kisses you long, very long and it feels like it’ll last forever.

 But you know this is just one of the last kisses from him.

You have his hand tight in your grip, his other hand holding his bag and his ticket. You watch the people around you waiting for the train too. Some of them are also sending their loved ones off.

Just like you.

Next train from Dongdaegu to Seoul will arrive shortly in 5 minutes at Platform 7. Please don’t stand near the platform. Thank you.

Your heart skips a beat, or thousands of beats, you have no idea. Your stomach begins to feel sick. This is it, you think. You take a deep breath as Yoongi stands up first, not letting go of your hand. You stand up with him, locking eyes with him for some seconds before he glances to the person next to you.

“Hyung,” he lets go of your hand as he walks towards his brother. You walk some few steps away from Yoongi and his brother, respecting and giving them the privacy they ought to have. As you trail over the painted lines on the floor, your mind can’t help but wander to those days when you were with him. The days weren’t all beautiful, but you learned so much with him. You were with him and he was with you, and everything was okay. You stop your steps under the announcement screen above you, just before the vending machine.

You’re still busy with your own thoughts when a hand grip your shoulder very gently. You turn around, meeting the black eyes that you adore so much. You immediately smile at him.

He grabs you by the waist, pulling you into a kiss. You kiss him back, your hands gripping into his jacket. You feel tears beginning to form as you feel your eyes are getting hotter each second passes. You can’t help it as the tears come down naturally. Soon, you’re sobbing into the kiss and you swear you can feel his tears too. The kiss is long but messy, full of desperation, but this is the longest kiss in your relationship. This is the most tearful kiss in your relationship.

This is your last kiss with Min Yoongi.

When the kiss stops, you feel your chest clenches and it hurts so badly. You inhale and exhale, hands still gripping so tight on his jacket. His thumbs wiping the tears away from your face. When you feel like some strength coming back into your body, you look up at him and you were right. The tears are a little bit in his eyes too.

You smile, wiping the little tears away from his eyes. “Yoongi-ah,” you call out to him. “Come back here after you succeed. Prove everyone who doubted you wrong. And prove me right.” Your voice trembles. You are this close to choking so you bit your tongue.

He calls your name softly and it just hits you this might be the last time you hear your name comes out of his mouth.

“I love you,” and also the last confession.

But he really loves you because every time he’s thinking about giving up, your face shows up and suddenly he feels the courage to start again. He doesn’t believe he’s going to Seoul this fast either. He wants to do this, that’s for sure, but his heart also hurts, , it hurts so ing bad because in order to chase after his dream, he has to let go of someone he treasures the most, someone he’s holding so dearly.

You.

“Thank you for everything,” he touches his forehead against yours as you just nod at him. He pulls you into a tight hug, wrapping his arms securely around you. Ah, this is it. The last hug. Your hands wrap around his body, giving him the tightest hug you can, sending him all the love that you got for him ever since the very start. You inhale his scent as much as you can, savoring his warmth for it’s going to be the last time you can feel his warmth and be this close with him.

Next train from Dongdaegu to Seoul will arrive shortly in 1 minute at Platform 7. Please don’t stand near the platform.

You loosen your hug, lean back to look into his eyes, your hand fixing his messy hair, then resting on his cheek. You see the train just stopped behind Yoongi’s back. The door opens and your heart breaks for the hundredth time.

The train from Dongdaegu to Seoul just arrived at Platform 7. Please mind the platform gap as you step into the train. The door will close in 1 minute.

You rest your hands on his chest, patting him encouragingly as you smile.

“Go.”

He stares into your eyes for some seconds before smiling softly and nods. His head then turns to look at his brother. He nods at Yoongi and smile.

Yoongi then turns to look at you, before taking a deep breath and finally turning his back at you, walking towards the train. As he steps into the train, you feel your knees begin to feel weak, you feel like you’re going to fall apart, and as the door closes, you let out a big gasp. The reality just hits you. He’s going so far away.

And there’s no turning back.

Later, when he arrives at Seoul, he’s going to get into the agency he told you about and there will be no phone calls, no texts, and no letters. Never. But he promises you, that when he’s going to debut, he will definitely call you. So you hold on to that promise, looking forward to hear his voice once again no matter how long will it take.

You see him putting his bag in the cabin before taking his seat. Shortly after he makes eye contact with you one last time, the train slowly rolls away, you keep your eyes on Yoongi, the boy who is only 17, but so many good things are waiting for him, the boy who’s coming after the good things waiting for him. The boy you have faith in.

So you wipe your remaining tears away, giving him your best smile as he smiles back at you for one last time before the train rolls out of your sight.  You will move on from supporting him in a close distance to supporting him from afar. It’s going to be hard, but you know that he knows, that from afar he has his greatest support.

You have faith in him. You know one day he’s going to make it.

And he made it.

He made it.