It was still dark outside but the skies were getting brighter as time passed by. I had been lying on my side, staring at the skies as it changed colour from midnight blue to a beautiful concoction of orange, red, and grey. The silence engulfing the dimly light space of my humble-sized bedroom was broken by the soft melody coming from my phone on the bedside table. Shutting the alarm off, i returned my gaze back to the window, watching the new day unfolded. My friends used to mock me saying my alarm music was made to make people fell asleep instead of waking them up. I just shrugged my shoulders at their words. I bet I was not the only one who found it was irritating to wake up to loud music. Besides, it didn't take much for me to wake up from sleep. I used to wake up to my stepbrother's shrilly alarm whose room was opposite of mine when he didn't even budge to  it. I then would during breakfast on how he would still be sleeping if a bomb were dropped on our backyard and Jimin oppa being his childish self would then pull my ponytail out of annoyance. Then I would pretend to be mad and ignored him while whining at Seojoon oppa, my other stepbrother and the oldest among us three. Seojoon would chuckled before patting my head, telling me to be a good girl and quickly finished my breakfast so I wouldn't be late for school. I would then sat and ate my cereal as Jimin pushed his unopened chocolate milk towards me as a peace offering. Jimin oppa loved chocolate milk but I knew he loved me more because he always gave them to me, even if it was the last one in the fridge whenever I was upset or angry at him. I remembered I would then smiled and hugged him. I also remembered how Papa and Eomma would smiled happily, watching the three of us. Papa was my stepfather and yet he was the best father in my life. He loved and treated me like a princess when all my own father ever did was beating me and eomma. I hated my own father with all my heart. But Papa always reminded me that the person who can forgive others was the strongest person. I wanted to be strong but I could never forget what my father did to me and eomma.

I remembered how I couldn't sleep at nights because I was so scared that my drunk father would come into my room and tried to rip off my Hello Kitty pajama like that one night. That night, it was raining heavily outside. I was six years old. Eomma just finished telling me story and she kissed my cheeks.  I returned the kiss as she tucked me under my fluffy and warm blanket. She told me good night and switched off the light before walking out from my bedroom. I remembered I was half asleep when I heard the door of my room creaked. I slowly opened my eyes and saw my father staggered towards me. His smell was awful. I wanted to tell him to go away but I was scared that he would hit me again so I just kept quiet and tried to hide under my blanket. He sat on my bed and pulled the blanket off me. I was crying and started calling for my eomma. However, the thunders were so loud. My father snarled at me, telling me to keep quiet. His big hands ripped off my clothes and he touched my body. I remembered crying and telling him to stop but he slapped me, kept telling me to shut up or he was going to hit me harder. I remembered my small six-years old body trashed against his strong grip, trying to free myself. Then, I remembered seeing my eomma shocked face. I remembered seeing my petite eomma trying to pull my burly father away from me. I remembered seeing she being pushed away like a rag doll. I also remembered seeing my eomma holding the table lamp and hit my father with it. 

Although I didn't remember anything after my eomma hit my father on his head with the table lamp, all those happened before that on that night, stayed to keep haunting me for the rest of my life. But Papa and eomma never gave up to make me happy again. Papa went all the way to gain my trust and made me smile again. Thanks to him, I was slowly leaving behind of my painful past and started enjoying life with my new family. Papa became my father when I was eight years old. I remembered how happy I was during my Papa and eomma wedding day. Papa bought me a very beautiful dress and told me I was the prettiest girl that day, even prettier than my eomma. I remembered my eomma pouted before she smiled her most beautiful smile and hugged me. I remembered seeing tears rolled down eomma beautiful face as she whispered that she too thought that I was the prettiest girl in her eyes, for that day until forever. And I remembered I hugged her tighter as my tears also rolled down my chubby eight-years old cheeks.

When Papa became my father, he brought his two sons to live with me and eomma. Papa took all of us to our new house. It was near a beach. I remembered the first night in the new house, inside my own cute bedroom, I finally fell asleep with a smile on my face, for the first time after two years. I remembered the happy thought I had before I fell asleep that night; I finally had a very happy family that loved me very much and will always there to protect me. 

Chorus of "Run" by BTS snapped me off my reverie. 

"Hello, eomma. Why are you calling me so early in the morning?" I said into the phone as I straightened my back, leaning against the headboard of my bed.

"Do I need reason to call the daughter that I missed so much?"

I chuckled as I could imagine my eomma pouting at the other end of the line. "Of course you can call me anytime, eomma. I missed you too. And Papa.  Very much."

I could hear her sweet laugh over the line and it made me smile despite the guilty I felt deep down in my heart. "So, come visit us this weekend. Seojoon and Jimin are also coming home with their family. It's Papa birthday."

My mood brightened at her eomma words. It had been almost a year since everyone was visiting eomma and papa together. My smile got bigger as I giddily thought about seeing my cute nieces and nephews. My wandering mind of what gifts to get for the cute kids were however cut short by my eomma low voice. "I know you're very busy but you're coming right, Yeonnie-ah? We miss you so much."

My heart hurt a little hearing my eomma small voice. I felt sorry for all the excuses I had given all these times but I just couldn't bring myself to face reality. Not now and probably not forever. 

"Of course, ma. But can I bring a friend?" I asked carefully as I bit my lower lip.

"Friend or boyfriend?" I could hear the happiness returned to my eomma voice as she teased me.

I just smiled, feeling a bit relieved to at least hear my eomma cheerful self was back. "A friend who is a boy," I told her with a light chuckle.

"Yeah right.. hahaha. Bring anyone you want, yeonnie-ah. Just promise me you'll come, ok?"

"I will, ma."

"That's good. I'll have to go now. Bye, yeonnie-ah. I love you."

"I love you too, ma. Bye."

I moved the phone from my ear as the line went dead. I placed the phone on the pillow next to me and closed my eyes, resting my throbbing head on the headboard. I rubbed my face with my hand , slightly startled to find it was wet. I let out a dry laug as I realized that I had been tearing up all this time. I guessed the dull but nonstop pain shooting inside my body, plus my eomma sad voice subtly begging me to come visit home were excellent triggers for my emotional tears. I was busy alright. Just not with work, like my eomma and everyone else thought I was.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips, reflecting the heavy burden my heart bore from keeping the secret away from everyone. I didn't know if this was the right thing to do but the images of my broken-hearted eomma and devastated papa if they were to know it, made me felt like I was doing this for their happiness. And as long as eomma and papa and everyone that matters to me were happy, I could carry all this burden by myself to the grave. 

---

My friend who was a boy, who was also my best friend and also unfortunately the only man that owned my heart without he even realizing it, was looking handsome as always, as he drove both of us along the road that would take us to my parents' house. And just like always, that friend of mine, said yes in a heartbeat when I asked him to accompany me for the visit. I would have drive home myself but I couldn't. Not because I didn't have the skills or license to do so since I had both; it just because my condition wouldn't let me. I would drive if I had early death wish but I didn't. I wanted to spend every second of my life meaningfully until my last day. And I didn't trust myself to take public transport for such long hours journey. The last thing I needed in my life right now was making a public scene. So, asking help from a friend was my only choice. And Jeon Jungkook was the only friend I was comfortable enough to come to and asked something like this without being bombarded by many questions that I couldn't and didn't want to answer. He was curious but he was more considerate and understanding than curious. Maybe that was why he was the only friend I truly relied on and believed since the time I first knew him through a volunteer event that I joined when I first moved to the city four years ago. He was kind and caring but he also knew his boundaries. He was a dork most of the times we spent together but when needed, his charisma and maturity got things under control. His amazing personality together with his sculptured-like physique and beautiful pair of doe-liked eyes was the reason the respect and adoration I had for him slowly but surely became love. Yes, I was deeply in love with Jungkook but he didn't know that. And I intended to keep it that way. It was for his own good. Well, that was what I kept telling myself so I didn't get carried away whenever our eyes met and he was staring at me with a soft and warm gaze. I had this feeling we shared the same feeling for each other but for his sake, I kept pretending to be oblivious to his sweet and loving gestures, chanting in my head that I was being like this for his happiness.

"Do you think your dad will like my gift?" Jungkook asked for probably the tenth time since you started your journey.

You laughed while shaking your head. "Stop worrying too much, Kook. Papa will love your gift."

"Of course I'm worried.. i need to make good impression in front my future father in law," Jungkook mumbled quietly, probably didn't want me to hear it but oh boy, I did. 

My heart literally flipped and butterflies were fluttering wildly inside my tummy hearing those quiet mumbles. I was happy. No, I was elated. Jungkook wanted Papa to be his father in law. That meant he wanted me to be his wife! I could feel blood rushing to my face and my cheeks reddened as I blushed at his words. My euphoric moment however was cut short as I suddenly felt sharp pain repeatedly stabbing me from inside my lower limb. As a reflex, I pressed down my hands onto my stomach, trying my best to withstand the pain and also pushing down tears that threatened to come out. Jungkook calm face morphed into a frown as panic laced his voice. "Mimi, are you okay?"

"I'm fine.. maybe I ate something bad for breakfast," I stuttered as I tried to force a smile.

"You sure? You look like you in so much pain. I'll take you to a clinic, okay?" 

I shook my head as I fumbled for my medicine inside the backpack which was a gift from Jungkook for my last year birthday. "It's okay. I'll just need to take my medicine and have some rest to feel better," I said, still with a forced smile so the man next to me would become less worried.

I knew he was not convinced but I straightened my back, gritting my teeth as the pain became worse. With shaky hands, I managed to get the tablet out of its blister and swallowed it with a gulp of water. Taking a few deep breath, my body slowly relaxed against my seat. It would take a while for the medicine to give effect but I tried to not let the pain overwhelmed me. From the corner of my eyes, I saw how Jungkook kept glancing at me with a hardened expression. 

"I'm sorry to make you worry," I said quietly.

His face slightly softened as he reached for my hand and squeezed it gently. "Hey, it's okay. Why don't you rest and I'll wake you up when we're there?"

I nodded as I stared at our hands and feeling a painful tugged inside my heart. I slightly reclined my seat and turned my head towards the window. The pain inside my stomach had slowly become the dull pain I constantly dealt with daily since the past eight months but the burning inside my heart was getting worse as I felt hot tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I guess I can only be your bride in the next life," I thought to myself as I silently cried to sleep.

---

"Mimi... wake up.. we're here." I slowly opened my eyes to the sound of his mellifluous honey voice. 

Rubbing my eyes, my hazy mind was trying to process my surrounding when my nose picked up a very nice scent. My heart beat increased when I realized I was staring at a pair of beautiful dark brown orbs. I blinked rapidly as I noticed Jungkook was leaning close to me while looking at me with a warm gaze. I thought he noticed my blushing cheek when the corner of his lips curved up a bit.

"Come on, sleepyhead. Let's go meet your family," he said playfully as he ruffled my hair and winked before getting out of the car.

Still stunned, I slightly jumped off my seat when the door opened. Jungkook laughed seeing my shocked face with slightly messy hairs, courtesy of his hands from a minute ago. I pouted from his teasing as I took my backpack and carefully getting up so the pain wouldn't be too much. I somewhat wobbled once I stood as my head felt kind of dizzy. Spontaneously, Jungkook held my waist so I wouldn't fall. I thought my heart skipped a beat as his hand touched my back. I was looking at him dreamily until his concerned voice burst me out of my bubbles of thoughts.

"Are you okay, Mimi? You look so pale."

No, I'm not okay, Jungkook. It hurts so badly, I thought to myself as I smiled, suppressing the wicked pain as much as I could. "I'm fine, Kook. Just a little bit tired. Hahaha," I let out an awkward laughed as I tried to walk towards my house before ungraciously flopped down on my bum.

Jungkook's loud voice calling my name as I fell down on the ground must have alerted my family as I could hear the front door opening and also saw my eomma happy face instantly turned into shock and panic as she ran towards me and Jungkook who was now holding me in his arm. Slowly, Papa's panic voice became muffled and eomma's tears-stained face getting blurry. As I slowly slipped into unconsciousness, I thought I was smiling as I laid limply in Jungkook's strong arms, my fears was somehow comforted by his calming scent.

---

My head felt heavy. My eyes felt heavy. My limbs felt heavy. In fact, all my body felt like it was being squashed by a big boulder. Sharp,hot pain seared throughout my body but I felt my body was already to exhausted to react to it. I just wanted to sleep until everything was over. I could be Aurora, I mentally giggled at the notion. I almost succumbed to the tempting proffer of eternal sleep when I felt soft skin caressed my hand. I was slowly tugged out of unconsciousness as I felt something wet dropped on my hand and hushed voices reaching my ears.

I opened my eyelids. My eyes blinked as they adjusted to the bright light. 

"Yeonnie-ah, you've wake up! Thank God you've wake up!" my eomma slightly screamed in joy as she leaned down hugged and kissed me. I was happy to see my eomma but my body flinched and the machine suddenly beeping loudly as great pain suddenly shot through my body as she hugged me. She abruptly pulled herself off me as soon as the machine went off, panic and regret drained the blood away from her face. I tried to smile so she would not feel guilty but it turned into grimace and whimper as the pain became more unbearable as minutes passed. Doctors and nurses rushed into my rooms as my breathing became laborious. Tears of pain and fear stained my face as the doctor tried to ease the pain that was driving me insane. As the nurse ushered everyone out of the chaotic room, my blurry eyes caught the sight of Jungkook, pale face and wide eyes. The emotional pain of seeing his forlorn face caused me to loss the battle against myself as I once again closed my eyes and lost in the darkness.

---

"At this stage, there's nothing much we can do for her except making the pain more bearable." 

I felt somehow sad as I secretly listened to the doctor as he talked to my eomma and Papa but honestly, I had long accepted that fact when I was first informed about it four months after the diagnosis. As my doctor told me, the cancer cells inside my body were the aggressive type and coupled with the fact that I had weak immune system, they were spreading rapidly over my body. I was diagnosed with stage 3 cervix cancer eight months ago. At the same day, I received a letter of promotion as Chief Editor at a renowned publishing house in South Korea. And two hours later after receiving the promotion and the diagnosis, Jimin oppa called me with a happy voice, telling me about his newborn son. And that evening, after dropping me off in front of my house, Jungkook kissed me on the cheek before shyly said goodbye. And that night, I cried all night long. I remembered a worried Jungkook asking me the next day over lunch that we shared, the reason behind my swollen eyes. I remembered laughing awkwardly as I lied through my teeth saying I cried watching Miracle in Cell No. 7. I remembered he then teased me about being a crybaby and I playfully slapped his arms. I remembered how much my life was slowly crumbling down after that day. I remembered the struggles I faced to keep Jungkook, eomma, Papa, Jimin oppa, Seojoon oppa and everyone in the dark about my disease. I remembered that the hardest one to keep in the dark was Jeon Jungkook just because I spent almost everyday with him. I felt he knew I was hiding something but being the amazing friend he always was, he respected my boundaries. Am I lucky to have him in my life? A drop of tear rolled down my face.

"How... how much time does my daughter has?" I could hear my eomma croaked voice.

"Medically, not more than a month," My eomma broke into tears as the doctor's words echoed in the room. I could imagine Papa eomma back, trying to calm her down. "But your daughter was a fighter. From the medical records, the diagnosis said she only had four months to live but she has made it until now."

"Our Yeonnie..." my eomma sobbed sounded faint. Maybe because papa was hugging her tightly. Another tear escaped my eye. 

"Eomma..." I called out for my eomma with my weak voice. As I opened my eyes, I saw my eomma was sitting next to me as she carefully held my bony hand. "Yes, princess. What do you want?"

I tried to pull my hand up and touched my eomma face but I felt so weak. Sensing my struggle, Papa reached for my hand as he gently lifted up to my eomma face so can I could caress her cheek. I wiped the tears running down her soft cheek. 

"Ma, I want to go home."

"But you're sick, princess. You need to be treated here," my eomma said softly.

I looked into my eomma eyes. Then I shifted my gaze towards Papa who smiled lovingly at me as his hand brushed my hair. "I want to be at home when my time is up, Ma." My voice was quiet but calm as uttered my wish.

My eomma burst into tears at my words, begging me to stop talking nonsense things like that. I patted her arm as she cried beside me. I looked up at my Papa face. "Please, Papa. Let me go home."

A drop of tear hit my cheek as he leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Of course, princess. Anything for you."

I smiled. Despite the pain throbbing all over my body, I smiled as I felt happy to be with my eomma and Papa right at that moment. Then I remembered that today was Papa's birthday. I asked Papa to come closer to me before planting a kiss on his cheek. 

"Happy birthday, Papa. I love you so much." 

In tears, my Papa smiled again as he gave me another kiss on the forehead. "Thank you, princess. You know I love you so much too, right?" 

I knew, Papa. I knew.

---

Two weeks had passed since I was discharged from the hospital. Right now, I was nicely bundled in warm blankets as I rested my head on Jungkook's chest while both of us laid down on the beach, next to the warm fire, enjoying the quiet night. As I enjoyed the cold sea breeze gently slapping my face, I moved my head so I could watch Jungkook's face. His eyes were closed as his hand was playing with my hair. The light from the flickering flames made him seemed so ethereal. His sharp jawline, flawless complexion, long lashes and even the tiny scar on his left cheek were crafted for perfect existence. As his strong arms held me, I felt protected. As I snuggled closer to his warm body, his natural scent flooded me with familiar comfort. I tightened my hold on his waist, pressing one side of my face on his chest.

"I love you, Jungkook," I mumbled quietly, only to realize later what I had mindlessly said a moment ago when I felt Jungkook stiffened and his hand that was playing with my hair stop moving.

Panic took over my body. Quickly, I pulled myself away from him, struggling to get up as my body was getting weaker as days passed. I was about to stand up when a pair of arms pulled me back. Jungkook placed his head on my shoulder as he hugged me from the back. I tried to free myself but his strength overwhelmed my fragile body, so I just gave up and slowly relaxed inside his embrace.

"Stop running away. Stop pushing me away. I don't care if you're sick. You're still my Mimi and I will always love you," Jungkook said, a hint of sadness laced his voice.

"I don't want to hurt you. You deserve someone better, Kook," I said quietly as I watched how our intertwined fingers seemed like they were made for each other.

"And the only one I want is you, Mimi," he said as he moved his hands from my waist as he carefully turned me around so we were facing each other.

My weak heart still managed to beat crazily as I realized how close our faces were. His warm breath tickled my lips sending shivers down my body. Our nose touched and our eyes were staring at each other. His gaze slowly moved down toward my lips. He once again peered into my eyes before leaning down and caught my lips with his in a soft, loving kiss. I could feel tears rolling down my face as I kissed him back. Bringing his hands to gently hold my face, Jungkook deepened the kiss, causing fireworks to burst inside of me. After the longest minute in my life, Jungkook slowly pulled away as he rested his forehead over mine. His eyes were closed and there were also tears on his face, just like mine. 

I touched his cheek as I wiped the tears. I caressed his face, softly tracing his handsome features as he looked at me. "Promise me you'll be happy even when I'm gone," I whispered as I stared into his eyes.

Another tear rolled down his face as he nodded with a small smile. "Anything for you, love. Anything," he said as he kissed me again. 

And finally, I had my first kiss and it was the most magical thing ever happened to me.

---

I woke up the next morning as the sun was slowly rising from the horizon. I somehow felt my time for this life was almost up. Being human, I wished I could stay longer next to man who had his arm draped over my waist, got married to him, have cute kids with him and grew old together. But for now, I was contented having him and my family next to me. I stared into his face, his beautiful face, his soft lips that had taken me to cloud nine last night, his black hair that felt like silk as I ran my fingers through them. His eyelids slowly fluttered as he woke up. 

"Good morning, jagi." I blushed hearing his husky morning voice but I kept my stare on his eyes as I replied his lazy smile with my own. "Good morning, handsome," I said as leaned in and pecked his jawline. 

I could feel his chest vibrating while I placed my chin on it as he chuckled at my sudden kiss. He straightened his back and pulled me into his lap. I leaned into his hand as he gently my face. I could see love in his gaze and my heart swelled with bittersweet happiness knowing the man that I loved, loved me back. Alas, I wasn't destined to be his one and only bride for this life. Oh.. the sharp knife of a short life. "I love you, Miyeon. Whatever happens, I will always love you," Jungkook said quietly before sealing his lips over mine. 

As the our lips locked in passionate kiss, a painful feeling tugged a corner of my heart as my life flashed over my closed lids. As hot, prickly pain took control over my body, everything around me became hazy. As I tightened my grip on his shirt as tears rolled down my cheeks, I could hear Jungkook's voice calling my name, but I was wondering why it sounded so far away. I tried to reach out and wiped the tears on his handsome face but my hands felt so heavy and again I felt so tired so I decided to close my eyes and maybe take some more nap. I thought I was smiling as I kept thinking how today was going to be a good day.

---

This time, I didn't think I could open my eyes for too long. I looked around and was happy to see everyone that I loved was there. I smiled.

"Eomma, Papa," I weakly called out the two most precious people in my life. 

Papa held my right hand and Eomma held my left hand. 

Gathering my final energy, I spoke with quiet voice. "Thank you for being the best parents. I love you, Ma, Papa. Always. Don't be sad when I'm gone. I won't be happy watching you from above with sad faces."

I saw eomma nodded but she didn't say anything else. Papa also nodded before he kissed my forehead like he always did. "We love you too, princess. Forever." I smiled as I listened to Papa. 

"Oppa..." I said with bated breath as I struggled to turned my head to look at Jimin oppa and Seojoon oppa that were standing at the other side of the bed. They both came closer to me and kneel beside the bed. I could see Seojoon oppa swollen eyes and Jimin oppa nose was red. Seojoon oppa patted my hair while Jimim oppa held my hand.

"You two are the best oppa in the world. I love you two very much. Please take care of Eomma and Papa," I stumbled with my words as my breath got shorter as seconds passed by.

"You know you're our forever favorite little sister, right? You'll always stay here," Seojoon choked on his words as he pointed at his heart. Jimin oppa nodded at his brother's words and I wanted to laugh but it came out as terrible coughs. Seojoon gently hit my back to ease them but it only made it worse. I could saw panic flashing on eomma face as she brought a glass of water to my lips. I tried to drink. My coughs stopped but my breathing got shorter and heavier. I suddenly felt agitated as I weakly called for Jungkook. 

Only when I felt his warm grip on my hand, my anxiety slowly dissipated. "Hold me, please."

I sunked deeper into his warm embrace when Jungkook cuddled me in his arm. Burying my face against his sturdy chest and getting drown in his soft, pleasant smell, I whispered my last words as I closed my eyes for my eternal slumber.

"Goodbye, my love. Goodbye everyone."