Here's the song that inspired this fic, feel free to listen to it as you read.

Siwon - Worthless: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_hZ281gzWQ

I don't want to look him in the eyes, but I can feel him staring at me. He's waiting for what I have to say. Studying me; Waiting for any sign of a reaction. He knows me well, which makes this part all the more difficult. Unconsciously I build up walls around myself. The temporary protection that will help me end things. It's not what I want, but it's what I have to do. 

Here goes nothing.

Our eyes finally lock and I feel myself tense. "Heechul." He says to me. "I have to leave. I can't do this anymore. SM is too much. I've been getting sick, i'm tired, and all they're doing is sending more work my way. I can't live this way, it's slowly killing me. Please understand.. It's not personal to you, or any of the other members. I'm leaving Super Junior, but that doesn't mean we're going to stop being friends."

Friends… I felt a pang in my heart at that word. We haven't been friends in a long time, Hangeng, at least not in my mind. I thought sadly. When we first met, during our first performances and practices, yes, we were just friends back then… But what about our first night drinking together - we told each other just about everything that night. Plus all of the times the two of us went out to the movies, and our first kiss? How about the first time we said I love you or when we slept together? What about all the times after that? My heart continued to ache as I thought of just months ago when we became "friends" again.

Through the mess of my own thoughts, I could hear him pleading with me. I knew everything he was going through already. Every one of us did. But despite all of our efforts, we couldn't change his mind. Couldn't change SM's ways. And all in all, couldn't stop Hangeng from leaving. I swallowed, though my mouth had gone completely dry. "I understand, Hangeng." I replied. My voice sounding stronger than I truly was. The weight on my shoulders and pain in my chest grew stronger by the second. I knew this was the last time we would have this conversation because this time I was letting him go. I was done being selfish. He had truly reached the limit of how far he could push himself, and I knew how terrible I was for practically forcing him to go to those measures. Without showing him my emotions, I did my best to let go of the memories; enough is enough. This time I had to force myself to stay strong; To open my eyes and see that I was only hurting both of us by making him stay. 

"I really hope you find everything you're looking for." I smiled. "It's never going to be the same without you, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do."

"Heechul, I'm so sorry.." The look on his face was breaking my heart further. He was hurting just as much as I was.

I let a small, humourless laugh escape my lips. "Don't be sorry, you have to do this. I don't want to see you hurt any longer. So just leave, but please, don't look back. Don't let this wear at your mind, because-" I paused as I felt myself choking up. I cleared my throat and continued as if nothing happened. "It's not worth your health, and not worth the stress."

"I'm not going to forget you.." Hangeng started to say. 

I put my hand up to stop him from speaking and shook my head. "You have to forget me, Hannie. Do you really think we'll see each other and talk like we have? C'mon. You and I both know how this is going to go. So, don't drag this out anymore. I'm done fighting, so I mean it. Don't look back. Forget me, forget us, forget everything. When you go, live your life the way you want to, because that's why you're leaving. Don't you dare leave and start following what someone else tells you to do." I looked into his eyes once again, doing my best to remain expressionless. "I hope everything works out for you, I really do." 

As the words left my lips I walked past him. If I didn't stop talking now, the truth would come out and deep down I knew if I continued to pressure him then he'd probably stay. He would continue to wear himself out and deal with the pain, for me.

Hangeng turned, watching me as I tried to get away. "I can't believe it's come to this.." He whispered. My pace slowed. I cursed myself for stopping and flinching when I felt his hand on my wrist. "Heechul-ah.." he continued to whisper and I felt his arms circle around my waist. 

"Hannie.." the weakness began to seep into my voice. His hold on me became more relaxed as I gently placed my hands on top of his.

The tears I had been holding back started to silently escape my eyes when I felt a soft kiss being placed on my neck. "Heechul-ah, I lo-"

I know this isn't easy for you. 

I know I was selfish. 

I know I should've done more and this shouldn't be happening.

I know this is it though.. 

…I have to let you go…

Before the younger could finish speaking, I interrupted him. "Hannie, please. Just leave." 

I wouldn't look at him. I forced myself to stare at the floor, allowing my hair to hide my face. There's no doubt in my mind that Hangeng knew I was crying, but I still didn't want him to see. My body went cold after I spoke and my hands slipped away from his. 

Hannie, I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry…

Slowly he untangled himself from me. Without another word I heard him walking away. My body trembled as I glanced over my shoulder, tears streaming down my cheeks. So this is how it feels to have the love of your life truly leave.. He didn't look back once, not even as he was shutting the door behind him. My heart shattered. "Hannie.." I sobbed. My knees collided with the floor and I buried my face in my hands. "I'm so sorry, Hangeng." 

I love you.

I love you more then you'll ever know. 

I never want you to forget me. 

I never wanted you to leave me. 

We shouldn't have broken up a few months ago, we should still be together. 

We should've found a way to fix this. 

…I love you so ing much.. 

Why did you leave me? 

"Please.." I cried helplessly. "Please come back to me.."

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I know it's sad, but please let me know what you think.

I'm really going to try and write a happy HanChul in the future. I don't know when, but eventually. Because they deserve a happy ending. And I feel awful having written something sad, with no happy to balance it out. 

Thanks for reading~