"Tomorrow is the 21st December." The normally hyper Kim JongHyun was silent today until this comment. Poking at his breakfirst not really eating. And Kibum was pissed because he made this breakfirst early in the morning.

"See Jinki. I told you he is actually a genius." Kibum commented in his usually manner. Slighty sarcasm in his tone and a devilish smirk on his lips as he looked over the edge of his glasses to the puppy boy.

Usually he would play along. Would pout and then break into laughter. Because he knew Kibum. And he knew how he meant it. But today was diffrent. Jonghyun shrugged just his shoulders, stood up and brought his, still full, plate into the kitchen. Just to disappear into his (and Kibums) room.

The younger boy scrunched his eyesbrows and let his sight wander behind his hyung. He didn't even turn away as the door closed behind the older boy. Jinki just shrugged with his shoulders and went back to eating. Taemin and Minho not even paying attention to the scene because they were too occupied with themselfes. But Kibum thought something was off with the boy today. Though life was stressful and that made him forget this little conversation too soon.

Later this day (to be exact at the late night) Kibum laid in his bed. A magazin in his hands. His fingers played with the edges and crumpled them. Well, even with their hectic schedule there were indeed short lived moments of peace where they could do what they wanted to do.
Jonghyun sat at the end of his bed. Headphones over his ears. His head bobbed to the rhythm to which ever song he listend. His clothes so simple that no one would actually believe him that he was an idol. His hair a mess and without his makeup the bags under his eyes clearly visable. And Kibum thought it was cute. It was cute because it was himself. It was cute because was one of the few people that could see him like this. He looked so much more handsome as when he stood on stage.
Kibum over his dry lips as he heared Jonghyuns voice. "You know which day tomorrow is, right?"
For just a bare second he watched over the colorful sites of the magazin to look at him sceptical.
"Here we go again. And I thought you were a genius." But Kibum wasn't that stupid. He saw the latters face. He saw his eyes. He knew something was off today. So he closed the magazin and threw it on the floor next to his bed. He took off is glasses and rubbed over his eyes. The exhaustion of the day washing over him a little bit. "Tomorrow is the 21 December. It's a friday. And the winter is going to start. What else Jonghyun?" Maybe his words sounded harsh but JongHyun knew how Kibum meant it and that he cared. He knew him long enough for this.

The older boy took is headphones down got on his knees and crawled over the soft bedsheets until he could sit down next to Kibum. His round eyes starring at something Kibum couldn't see. "It's the end of the world."

If Jonghyun wouldn't look so serious. So afraid. So broken. Kibum would have laughed like there was really no tomorrow. But now he just sighed and leaned back against the wall. A pillow between his back and the wall. "I won't allow you to watch any movies. You don't believe it, right? To me everything looks normal Jonghyun. Nothing is going to happen." For the first time he thought he sounded ridiculous. Just like a mother who tried to explain that there are really no monsters with red scary eyes under the bed.
But now it was Jonghyuns time too look up confused. He shook his head and a small smile tugged at the end of his lips. "That's not what I mean Kibum. I am not THAT stupid. But..." His smile was gone again and his eyes fell back to a place which Kibum couldn't see.
"But... Just imagine it would really happen. Isn't there something you would regret? Aren't there dreams that you could never archive? Aren't there things that you could never experience?"

Kibum shut his eyes close. He took a deep breath and actually really thought about it for a moment. But he didn't need long time before he shook his head and opened his eyes again. "I won't regret a thing. I can do what I want. I can stand on the stage. Sing. Dance. I have my friends and family. Well, I never experienced my first love. Not really. But I guess this is okay. I have done the best out of my life, though." He shrugged his shoulders. Eyes that were glancing on his wall now fixed on the boy beside him. Again he thought how cute he looked. Even in this state. His expression still not changing.

He had a first love. But it was just difficult. Jonghyun knew. He just knew. And they didn't need to talk about it. An unspoken rule that they would never speak it out loud. For the sake of their lifes. For the sake of their band. For the sake of their families. For the sake of everyone but them.
"And you?"
Jonghyun shook his head. "I guess the same goes for me.. but.." His hand searched for Kibums. His fingers dancing slighty over the youngers skin until his fingers slipped inbetween the others. Palm on palm. "I would regret that I was never brave enough for this." And there it was again the look on his face that Kibum couldn't explain. And it scared him somehow.

The younger boy squeezed his hand tight. "You know why. And it's okay this way. There is nothing to regret Jonghyun." No one would understand a word if they could overhear the small exchange of words between the two boys. But they understood. That was enough. Jonghyun understood why Kibum said that. They have never kissed. They have never really cuddled together. Never really spoke the 3 words out. It just happend to be that way. It was just like that and they couldn't change it.
"It's not okay." They older one said after some minutes of silent. Just their even breathes could be heared. He tugged their hands into is lap. His other hand painting patterns over the soft white skin of Kibums hand. "Let's be brave enough Kibum. I never want to regret anything. And I just know that I will regret everything in my life if I don't try it out. You know that I lo..-"

"Stop it." Kibums harsh voice cut Jonghyun off. He pulled his hand away and sighed. "Just don't end this sentence. The world is not going to end so soon. And everything is going the normal ways. Day by day. Like it should be. And now go to bed. I am sleepy."

It was now or never right? With the thought that maybe this would be really the last day, the last night with Kibum he had nothing to loose, right? Jonghyun leaned over. Kibum froze on his spot. Jonghyuns face just inches away from his. The breath tickled on his face. Eyes wide open and the heart beat just too fast for it to be healthy.
"Just for once, Kibum..." His voice just as a whisper against his lips. "Just for once imagine that the world is going to end tomorrow."
And Kibum did. He thought about the end. About how he would loose everything in this short amount of time. And then he realized that there were indeed things he would regret. He would regret that he never said 'I love you' to the boy with the round puppy eyes. He would regret that he could never hold him like someone should hold his beloved person. He would regret that he never fought for it. He would regret that he could never proudly say 'This is my boyfriend' and hold his hand while saying this.

He would regret that he could never feel his lips against his.

And that was when everything made sense. That was when he realised how wrong he lived his life until now. And that was when he leaned in, let his eyes fall shut, and that was when he crossed the last little distance and placed his lips on Jonghyuns. That was when he realised that now he wouldn't regret anything if the world would end right now.

It was just a small touch of the lips. Careful and uncertain. Heartbeat of both boys uneven. The small sound of the clock ticking and the rusteling of bedsheets forgotten. All they felt was the feeling of the others lips.
Kibum tilted his head to the right, his hands found their place in Jonghyuns hair. The olders hand found their way on Kibums hips. It was all too perfect.

Jonghyun let his tongue run over Kibums lower lip. Everything still slow and carful. The younger one parted his lips and let Jonghyuns tongue run over his. Kibum was lost in his own little world with Jonghyun. Was lost in the moment. Was lost in the feeling. And he was suddenly so aware of everything. Of every little touch that send shivers through his body. Aware of his punding heart. Aware that this kiss happend too late. He should have been brave earlier.
They pulled away as they run out of breath. Forhead pressed against each others as they catched their breathes.

"I love you Jonghyun. I love you."
"I love you too Kibum. Let's try it. Let's be brave enough."

Kibum nodded. A smile on his lips. His eyes shining. The same smile that Jonghyun had on his lips. As if Kibum would look into a mirror.

That was when the clock hit 0:00.

That was when the 21st December was beginning. That was when the earth beneath them started to shake and they knew that this was not just a small earthquak.

And at this moment the both of them still regreted one thing.

They should have been brave enough earlier. Because now their time was running out. Because now the end of the world was beginning.