It has been six months since Taehyung have woke up alone.

It has been six months since he woke up to the smell of pancakes in the kitchen.

It has been six months since he had heard his voice.

It has been six months since he holds the person close.

It has been six months since Seokjin left.

Taehyung no longer have the spirit in him to continue living. He had no spark, no reason for him to continue working. What is the point anyway when he had hurt the only person he genuinely cared about and loved?

He was never the same ever since Seokjin walk out from his life and saw how broken the elder is. He remembered how cold his eyes were, hope completely vanquished in his eyes, different than what it used to be.

It was Taehyung’s fault and although he admitted that and even kneel to beg for forgiveness, he still left and pick everything that belong to him and leave no traces behind. Taehyung almost gone crazy because he no longer smells the familiar citrusy perfume Seokjin always wore. The scent always calms him down no matter what and it was just gone. The Mario figurines, his mangas, his clothes, his body wash and shampoo, everything had just vanished…. Except for the couple hoodie that Taehyung bought for them.

It was the only thing that still have a faint smell of the elder and he always hug the hoodie whenever he sleeps because it always helps.  He tried buying the perfume and wear it on him just to have the scent of Seokjin linger on him but it is just not the same. It is not the same as hugging the real Seokjin and smell the scent of strawberry on him.

Taehyung blinks and shakes his head. He can’t count the number of bottles he chugged down. He never drinks because he hates how it’s bitter and it burns his throat but these days, these past few months, alcohol seemed like the right remedy for him. It made him forget just for a little while and it made him numb with the pain he felt in his heart. Although he hates how he would feel groggy and how it left a sharp pain in his stomach in the morning after but it is the only way to cope the lonely nights because the lonely nights have him remembering what he did.

His friends scolded him and once, they even drained out all the alcohol he had in the sink. They try dragging Taehyung out of the apartment, just for him to meet new people. They all know of the reason why they broke up and Namjoon was this close to punch him in the face but he holds it. They all know he did this to punish himself for what he had done.

Because what kind of person cheats on his boyfriend of three years with the exact man that always have been a problem to their relationship? The man who causes insecurities, jealousy and big fights that always ended the person in tears?

Well, that kind of person is Taehyung.

He falls for lies and lust and it continued for months or perhaps even a year. He had no idea how he was blinded to see and to be grateful to have someone like Seokjin who stayed by his side faithfully. It only took Taehyung to be caught in the act and have Seokjin leaving him for good to have him wake up. He hopes it was only a dream that he saw the elder dragging out his luggage and carrying boxes out of their apartment but the nightmare is never ending. He is still all alone and Seokjin seems fine with it.

Seokjin had enough of him, he figured but Taehyung hopes that maybe… one of these days… Seokjin would check up on him, take care of him and maybe he would at least forgive him.

But this is real life and not some cheesy chick flick movie.

He heard someone open the door rather forcefully and Taehyung barely had the energy to get up from the floor. He continued to stare at the empty bottles in his apartment and he chuckles. He never knew he was a heavy drinker and he never knew that he is strong drinker.

He guessed being heartbroken makes you numb enough towards everything that is supposed to hurt you.

“Taehyung”, the familiar stern voice said. Taehyung looks up and frowned when he saw the owner of the voice.

“Go away, Namjoon.”

“No”, he hissed. “I had enough of you mopping around. I had enough of you for not actually seeking Seokjin and beg him for forgiveness. Do you really expect him to run to you when you’re pathetic like this?”

“A man could dream, right?” he chuckles. He then felt a sharp pain to his left cheek and he saw Namjoon practically fuming as his nostrils flare. He blinks a few times, couldn’t comprehend that Namjoon slapped him.

“ you Taehyung. Who the do you think