First day back at school… great.

Well, it’s a distraction. But still. Now the pressure to do well is back. Back with a raging vengeance. Worse than ever before. The teachers pile on the workload, and I’m left doing homework and studying for hours and hours at night. I probably get three hours or less of sleep every night. That’s partly because I have a ton of work. Partly because I over-prepare for everything. Mostly because sleeping means nightmares, and remembering.

Seokjin shaking his head.

Worse, I can’t keep an eye on Taehyung. Whenever I’m home, he’s out. He only comes back at around 1 in the morning… with bruises on his wrists. I try to help him―I swear!―but he pushes me away. I ask him what’s wrong. He replies with “I’m fine” every time.

I’ll be fine.

It’s the same as it was before. Comforting yet… empty? I can’t quite think of the right word. I’m sure that if I try to eat now, I wouldn’t be able to hold anything in anyway. My stomach’s too full of guilt and pain.

I’ll be fine.

I know what people say. I know what you think. But I don’t care about starving myself. After all, what’s left to live for? Seokjin’s gone. Taehyung’s pushing me away.

I’ll be fine.

Everything’s gone.

I’ll be fine.

And while drowning in self-pity, I don’t notice all the little things that I might’ve noticed before.

I’ll be fine.

I don’t notice the long sleeves pulled down. I don’t notice the bones sticking out. I don’t notice the shadows under his eyes. I don’t notice the blood staining tissues and gauze in the trash can. I don’t notice the tears in his eyes when he pushes me away. I don’t notice the muffled cries at night.

I’ll be fine.

I don’t notice my only friend falling to pieces.

I’ll be fine.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Hello!”

I turn around. There’s a boy standing by me. It’s lunch. I’m all alone, as usual. The boy smiles at me. I tilt my head slightly. What does he want?

“I noticed you sitting alone and I thought I’d come and keep you company!” he chirps. I just stare at him. His smile falters, “I-If you don’t want me to that’s fine!” he stammers quickly.

I shouldn’t do this. But he’s so sweet, so kind. So innocent. I can’t help it. I move over.

He slides in next to me. I get a good look at him. He looks familiar… but I can’t quite remember when or where I saw him. He opens a paper bag and nibbles on a sandwich.

“I’m new,” he says cheerfully. “Do you have any siblings?” I wince before hesitantly shaking my head. “I have a big brother! He’s the best. He’s four years older than me. People say we look alike, especially because of our faces and hair. Wait, is hair a part of the face? Well, anyway…” I stop listening.

So that’s where I saw him. That was him and his brother that day. I look at him again. He’s not bruised anymore. He’s not handsome… he’s cute. Pretty. Feminine. He’s skinny.

I listen to him for the entire lunch period.

When we leave lunch, he bids me goodbye with a wave. I walk away without a word.

After school, I hear cruel laughs. And a frightened small, feminine pretty boy. I follow the noise and see him pressed into a corner. A group of four or five boys surround him. “Come on baby boy,” the leader sneers. How do I know it’s the leader? He’s the one in front and he’s talking. “Why don’t you come with us? I’m sure a pretty boy like you’d love a good―” I stop listening. I quite calmly walk up behind them. I tap the leader on the shoulder.

“Hi,” I say coolly. He blinks, and I bring my knee up. He screams, and I giggle. The others glance at each other, then me. I raise an eyebrow at them. I nod to the groaning idiot on the floor. “Get him out of here,” I growl. “And don’t touch that boy again or you’ll suffer that… and more,” I say sweetly. They blink. I wave at them, and they jump and grab the leader before running. I turn to the boy.

“You okay?” I ask. He blinks at me.

“Y-Yeah,” he says. He tilts his head. “I’m Taehyung. What’s your name?” he asks.

I am so going to regret this.

“I’m Yoongi.”