It was a long day. Way too long and tiring for her liking. It’s not like she had a choice anyway, this was her own decision after all, the path that she had chosen. She walked brazenly to the car, white clouds coming out from as she exhales. It was cold lately. Freezing. But somehow she doesn't mind it as much as she expected. It helped her to numb her emotion. It was a good distraction, until the car heater and remind her of the emptiness in her heart.

#####

The car ride was quiet and it made her think about a lot of things. Some of them just meaningless passing while the other just downright depressing. When those thought came she wished she could shut down her mind and just think about the happy thought. And so she distracted herself by looking at her phone. She could open her instagram, but she really wasn't in the mood to see people she doesn't know insulting her on her latest post. She instead opted to just listen to some music. She rummaged through her bag for her tangled earphone. Her face scrunched up while trying to untangle the messy cable with the utmost patience. Once she finally succeed, she plug the earphone into the jack and shuffle through her playlist.

Her face light up with a small smile when 'Very Very Very' blasted through her earphone. She sing and dance along quietly at the backseat, her manager didn't even give her a single glance as he was focusing on the road. When the song ended her heart dropped as she was reminded that it was the last song that they promote together. Her eyes sting, but the tears didn't fall. She wasn't about to cry again, she ran out of tears weeks ago. She bit her bottom lips in distress and looked out the window. The darkness of the night combined with the cold air accompanied the cityscape. It was gloomy, way too gloomy. But it matched well with the loneliness in her heart. Maybe ‘Downpour’ would be a more fitting song.

#####

The car halted in front of a familiar place. It had been a while since she had been here. The I.O.I dorm. For the first time in awhile she would be spending her night here. She looked forward to seeing the older girls and also the noisy younger ones. She opened the car sliding door, stepping out carefully. Her manager opened the trunk to take her suitcase out. She thanked the man and rolled her suitcase into the building. She stopped at the door when her manager called out to her. Her manager remind her about her schedule before driving off with the car that has become her second home.

"You have the concert practice all day tomorrow then I will pick you up for a show filming in the evening. I shall give you the details later." Her manager said.

"Okay. Thank you oppa." She said to the man before she continued her delayed entrance into her much missed home.

#####

She punched the password into the keypad on the door. The door made a sound before it clicked open. She opened the door with one hand while the other hand was busy dragging her suitcase into the apartment complex. After much struggle she manage to go in and the door locked close behind her. She was greeted with darkness and silent. That was new, it was usually very rowdy. No one seems to be around, much to her disappointment. She then went to her shared room and placed her suitcase on the corner of the small bedroom that doesn't receive any direct sunlight. The room only window was to their laundry room. She sat down on her small bed adorned by blue stripes cover and let out a tired sigh. She was in a daze and her train of thought begin again. It was broken way too soon though when the bedroom door slowly opened revealing the girl she had been looking forward to see.

"Oh unnie, welcome back."

Kyulkyung greeted her with a smile. Kyulkyung was barefaced, in her pajamas, her hair tied up in a messy ponytail. She hadn't change. Not a bit. Still so radiant, so pure, so beautiful and Chaeyeon missed that smile. Chaeyeon find herself infected by that bright smile and let out a smile of her own. It wasn't as bright as the other girl but for a short moment Chaeyeon felt happiness swell up inside of her. Kyulkyung sat next to Chaeyeon, on her bed. Chaeyeon leaned her head on the girl shoulder, she let out a content sigh as they made contact. Kyulkyung sneaked her arms around Chaeyeon's waist in loose grab. The hand then moved to her shoulder before ending up caressing her head in a soft motion.

"You look so tired. Did you manage to get some sleep?" Kyulkyung questioned her as her hand kept rubbing Chaeyeon's head.

Chaeyeon let out a lazy hum as her eyes closed, enjoying the touch that she had missed for so long. Chaeyeon hadn't had more than two hours of sleep every night for the past week but she didn't thought much of it now that she was here. Kyulkyung knew Chaeyeon most likely hadn’t sleep well, as well as an idol might get at least. Kyulkyung noticed the dark rings on Chaeyeon's eyes and the girl lethargic movement. Kyulkyung glanced at the watch on the wall that showed its hands at 2.30 in the morning.

"Get some sleep unnie."

Chaeyeon felt Kyulkyung's movement and her eyes flutter open. Kyulkyung was about to stood up, leaving Chaeyeon so the older girl could sleep. Chaeyeon pouted as she grabbed Kyulkyung's wrist, pleading for the Chinese girl to stay. Kyulkyung couldn’t say no to those light brown eyes, and so she stayed.

#####

They somehow end up squished together on Chaeyeon's twin sized bed. Chaeyeon placed her head on Kyulkyung chest. Her eyes closed, enjoying the melody of the girl's heartbeat. She breathed out in comfort of Kyulkyung's body warmth close to her own. Kyulkyung had her arm wrapped around Chaeyeon loosely. They were both in comfort of each other presence. Chaeyeon feeling of loneliness somehow dissolved at that moment. They were in a comfortable silence before Kyulkyung spoke.

"Get some sleep unnie."

"Hmm..." Chaeyeon hummed lazily.

"Where is everyone anyway?" Chaeyeon followed up with a question that she should had asked since a while ago.

"It's our day off so the kids and Chungha unnie went home. They will meet us at the practice room tomorrow.”

"How about Nayoung unnie?"

"She's asleep in her room. We went to Pledis and practiced all day and came back a little over an hour before you showed up unnie."

"You must be tired Kyulkyung-ie." Chaeyeon pressed closer to Kyulkyung.

"I'm okay unnie. I know you are the most exhausted of all of us. Well and Sejeong unnie maybe. That is why you should sleep when you can." Kyulkyung nagged Chaeyeon for a bit.

"I can't sleep Kyulkyung-ah." Chaeyeon opened her eyes slightly.

"Why not unnie? Something on your mind?" Kyulkyung ran her fingers through Chaeyeon's hair. It was slightly damaged because of how often they dyed their hair. Kyulkyung still adored it, since it was after all, a part of Chaeyeon.

"You know what's on my mind Kyulkyung-ie. I think we all thought of the same thing." Chaeyeon said rather heavily.

They stayed silent as reality came crashing down for them. Everyone know it was coming, they knew from the start. They were made to be broken in the first place. They knew the deal and they didn't think much of it at first. A year seemed like a long time back then but it passed by in a flash. Every I.O.I members were probably counting the days and hour until they were over. It was like an unstoppable ticking time bomb. As much as they didn't want to separate, they have to. A bunch of what-ifs started to creep into the back of Chaeyeon mind. Her heart sting with pain when thinking about all the possibility if they were to stay together as I.O.I, the group that was chosen by the nation.

"Kyulkyung-ie... what if... all of us could stay together as I.O.I?" Chaeyeon dragged her words.

"But you know we can't unnie. We have to come back to them eventually." Kyulkyung tone was sad, somehow melancholic.

Chaeyeon knew. As much as she wish it wasn't true, that wasn't the case. She knew they have people waiting for them. People who they couldn't betray. People who are trapped inside their respective company’s training room. People who was waiting for them to come back. Kyulkyung and Nayoung has eight people waiting for them. Those people trained together with them longer than Chaeyeon even knew Kyulkyung. Those people shared more laughter and tears with Kyulkyung than she could ever. Kyulkyung have PRISTIN and Chaeyeon have DIA. Chaeyeon couldn't fathom the thought of betraying Heehyun who take so much care of her, Yebin who's pretty much her best friend and the other members who support her through thick and thin. Chaeyeon knew it was impossible, no matter how much she wished for it. She need to wake up from her dream. From this dream. Then she started to imagine a perfect world.

"In a perfect world, I.O.I is never going to disband... you and I have our own group too. You and me… We... Don't have to separate." Chaeyeon didn't know when tears started to pour out. She didn't even realize it until Kyulkyung wiped it away with the sleeve of her sweater. Chaeyeon looked up to Kyulkyung eyes. The darkness of the room prevent her from seeing anything but a vague silhouette of the girl’s face but she knew Kyulkyung was shedding her own tears too.

"In a perfect world..." Kyulkyung's voice was hoarse. It sounded so painful to both of them, because they knew. They knew that perfect world didn't exist.

“Kyulkyung…” Chaeyeon called out to her desperately.

Chaeyeon looked at the girl in the eyes. Even in darkness they knew they were staring at each other. It was a way to say something that they shouldn't say. It was for their own sake. They eyes pleading for each other but at the same time the stare was distant. Kyulkyung knew of that look all too well, she had seen it plenty of time. Too many for her own liking. Kyulkyung wish she could say it, but it was an agreement between the two of them. ‘Don't say it, it will be harder when we have to separate if we say it.’ She was itching to say that words. She was sure Chaeyeon was too. A confession of love and adoration. But they couldn’t. Their end was inevitable, just like I.O.I. Kyulkyung could only stare back into Chaeyeon’s eyes. Chaeyeon tears kept on pouring in a steady stream as Kyulkyung eyes desperately stared at her with tears clouding her vision. Maybe her tears hasn't ran out after all. She wasn't done crying.

#####

When they first met, Chaeyeon was sure she and Kyulkyung could never be close. They were like fire and water. Two end of the spectrum. So different, so far away from each other. They never even talked to each other before they were put on the same team, along with Sohye. They knew of each other presence. How can they not? They were always compared by everyone because of their looks. Who was the number one visual? Chaeyeon and Kyulkyung honestly couldn't care less. Beauty after all is subjective, and it's not like they want that number one spot either. That was as far as the similarity goes. They were what people call ‘Polar oppos