[Previously: Intro to Jinjoo’s story and character. Walking back to her house after finishing a tennis game, she reunites with Junhyung.]

JUNHYUNG

    Five years. That was the last time I saw her. She was only thirteen back then. I can’t even imagine how much she has grown. Would she still be that same small fry with chubby cheeks who cried all the time? Would she still be my cute little Joo-ah? 

    The thing was that I left her. I left my family and my home in search for my purpose in life. My career. Mom and dad would be proud. But would she be mad at me? Would she still look at me with her loving eyes like back then? Who am I kidding? This is Joo-ah. My Joo-ah. She understands me. 

    The other line had already been quiet and I knew why. She was rushing here to see me. She was always so excited to see me. But this time was different. We haven’t seen each other in five years and even though we’ve kept in touch, it wasn’t much because I was too busy. I didn’t think much as I opened the door, waiting for her to come. But I didn’t need to wait for little Joo-ah to come. Instead, a pretty young lady stood in front of me. I almost didn’t even recognize her if it weren’t by the way she looked at me with those eyes. They’re still the same.  

    She had on some loose and comfortable clothes. Her damp hair reached right above her elbows, cheeks pink from - what I assume - running here. She’d grown so tall, not taller than me, but around the height of my chin. Stunning, she was. Definitely not the little girl I used to know. 

— 

    It’s already been a week since I came back and it’s still a little strange to see the grown up Joo-ah. At the same time, it’s like I’ve seen and known her my whole life. Joo-ah came out the school doors in her school uniform, carrying a backpack, a duffle bag on her left shoulder, and her tennis racket in her right hand. With earphones on, she strolled down the hill, not knowing that I was parked nearby. Grinning, I got out of my car and started to follow the clueless girl. She entered the corner store at the end of the street and I silently went in after her, careful not to get caught. I kept myself busy in the back few rows, pretending to look at some candy as I spied on my baby sister. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a stalker. I was just curious about her daily life. Plus, it was fun scaring people.

    She’s so unaware of her surroundings, it makes her such an easy target. She stood in front of the freezer cabinets to look for some ice cream. After a few seconds of deciding, she pushed the glass door open to the side and reached for her ice cream. She had to bend a little, making her skirt ride up. As an older brother, I have the responsibility to protect my sister from any creepy erts. Just as I was about to go up and scold her, she shifted her duffle bag to cover her behind. I smirked. Smart girl. 

    “Have a good one, Ahjumma.” She said after paying for her ice cream and she exited straight after, turning the corner.

    Waiting for a moment or two to not make it so obvious, I went out and turned the corner, only to come to an abrupt stop because there was Joo-ah. Eating her ice cream, she stood there and stared at me like she was waiting for me. 

    I smiled. So you knew I was following you?

    I did, she smiled back still working on her ice cream. Yes, we can read each other’s minds. Just kidding, but we can read each other most of the times. The power of siblings. Just like old times. It never died.

    “How did you know?” 

    “I always know oppa.” Her sweet voice sang. I noticed how much deeper it is now compared to when she was a child. To be honest, I’m glad because her high pitched voice didn’t do well with me whenever she whined. I chuckled at the thought as I offered to hold her things. She only let me hold her duffle bag and we made our way back to my car. 

— 

    "So how do you guys like Doojoon?" I asked, happily eating the dinner our mom made. They’ve met Doojoon sometime after I got back. Doojoon was a close friend I made in my travels and it so happened that he was deciding to move here when I was coming back home. 

    "Oh that ahjussi?" Joo-ah chuckled before continuing with a serious face, "He's cool. I like him. He's really funny and he's handsome." She wriggled her brows, stressing the last part. “Right mom?” 

    “Can’t argue with you there. He is a handsome fellow.” Mom said.

    It was weird to hear my baby sister talk about men like that, especially when that one man she's talking about is my friend. Not to mention, he's my age. The way she said the last part seemed like she actually lik-

    "Don't worry oppa, I don't like your friend like that." She assured, adding more food to her plate.

    “Good, because he’s way too old for you.” I said, “Right, dad?” 

    He briefly grunted and dinner resumed as my parents continued to talk about a road trip they’re deciding on taking. I took this time to look to my left, at my little sister. She was so focused on eating, she didn’t even notice me. Little Joojoo had always been a slow eater. Her plate was barely a little over half finished by the time the rest of us were finishing. She stuffed some rice in , looked at mom and dad, and proceeded to look at her food once again to prepare another scoop of food. After slowly eating another bite of food, this time she turned to me.

    Immediately, she smiled and went back to her food just as quick. It’s been like this ever since I came back. She never looks me in the eye for too long. It was like she was avoiding eye contact. Extending my arm, I gently patted her head. It was a slight second she stiffened, but it must’ve been my imagination. She smiled again from what I saw from my side view, before continuing to eat.

    Ever since I came back, all she’s been was warm and welcoming, but there was definitely something different about her. One thing for sure, it was her personality. She was like the complete opposite from the quiet, shy, doubtful crybaby I knew. She’s now a strong and confident young lady. I can’t believe I’m even embarrassed to call her a woman. Technically, she’s just eighteen, so she’s still a girl. I guess it’s weird to think that she will eventually grow into a woman.

    Another thing was her attitude towards me. There was still respect and admiration, practically the same as before, but there was something else. I just couldn’t figure it out, but there was something. She still loved me, I knew that for sure. But had I changed so much that we couldn’t connect like before? Or was it her who changed? She had definitely changed, but I know her love for me still holds. 

    Did she not look up to me anymore? Did she not know that I’ll always be here for her? That I’ll always love and protect her like an older brother should? The insecurity kicked in and my heart felt heavy. Did she not need me anymore? I suddenly realized the new Joo-ah she had become while I was gone. Fear crept up as I wondered all the little things she had to go through to be the person she was now. Before, she was as fragile as glass, breaking with a simple fall. But now… it seemed like she was made of steel. 

    What happened while I was gone? What did I miss? I sighed, finally taking in the big elephant in the room. You stupid… you missed all the rough times she had to go through these past five years. You completely missed her grow up. You haven’t been there when she needed you. Of all the times, you had to leave when life was getting tougher on her. 

    I looked away now, not being able to face her with all these thoughts that ran through my head. I had missed everything. How many countless nights did you end up crying alone, Joo-ah? How many times did you insult yourself to make sure you felt as bad as you thought you were? How many times did you want your big brother wrap you in his arms like he always did and make your shivering little body warm again? To hold you until you fall asleep with me and wake up next to the one person you can open up to? 

    You used to look at me all the time, follow me all the time like a little lost puppy. You used to come to my room whenever you had nightmares or when you were too cold, knock on my door, and I would let you in and sleep next to me. You said that I was the warmest heater you’ve ever met. That I made the bad things go away. That I was the one thing you loved most in and about this world… I hope that I still am.

    And there it was. A shock of pain in the chest hit me as I recalled the changes in my little sister. The wrong that I had done to her and the wrong I had done in our relationship. Who was I kidding? Things were never going to be the same as before. I knew that. I just didn’t want to accept that. 

    I finally understood that little something I couldn’t figure out. I didn’t want to say it was distance because it wasn’t, yet at the same time, I hate to say that it was.

A/N: HELLOOO OMG I UPDATED LOL. it's a little short ish but i kinda wanted to end this here for some reason. Sorry for the super long wait (if u were still waiting on this lol)!!! i still struggle with how to connect the big scenes and etc... omg nvm