I know it's been weeks and I really tried to update this regularly!! Trust me I did! But things happen and my brother passed away, I spent days in hospital with him and it was just hard to find a mood to write. But here I am now! I got a new job starting tomorrow and it'll be hell, my boss has assured me that, so I want to update things before that. I promise I'll be back soon with more problem *evil smirk* Enjoy!

The first thing Jimin registered was ache all over his body. His head felt like it was going to explode, his ears were ringing, his right foot was numb, and his neck was strained, it hurt so bad he felt like choking. He was aware of the pain but he was not sure he was in the right body because he could not move it at all. He wanted to scream for help, for his hyung and his friends to shake him out of this horrible state of dream, but even grabbing the sense of his own body was a struggle.

"Jimin-ah," he heard a whimper from his left.

Hyung! Jimin wanted to cry. Hyung, help me!

"Park Jimin, w-wake up," Jimin heard his hyung say more, but every breath he used to speak sounded like a painful effort.

Hyung, I'm awake but I can't move!

"Jimin-ah, don't d-die o-on me."

Die? What's going on? Hyung, you're scaring me! No one's dying!

"Jimin-ah, please," his brother wheezed, "p-please open your eyes, f-for me. I-I need to know you're o-okay." 

Jimin heard the plead and the cries, and Jimin felt the warm hand of his brother on his shoulder, trying to shake him awake. He did. So, with all his willpower and the energy that was left in him, he moved his muscle. Opening his eyes was a start, registering his surrounding was another tough attempt, the blinding lights and the cold night wind blowing at him. And as he gathered his sense back, h e was sure this was not how a car looked like from inside, he knew because he was used to it since he was a kid. The windshield was broken, revealing the bent frontside of the car clearly. The passenger door next to him was opened wide. He realised that it was night and the broken car he was sitting in was parked on the side of the highway carelessly, the siren was echoing somewhere so far away like it was part of another universe and Jimin was standing at the borderline. 

It all clicked in his foggy head; he was in a car accident, and his hyung—his hyung was talking to him! And, he remembered slowly. Hobi hyung was taking him to his dance class and they had too much fun together, then his brother, Jiho hyung, promised to pick him up but he got late because he got carried away at the company. Jiho was driving fast so they could get home in time to have dinner together with their parents and Jimin was drifting off in the passenger seat when another car hit them from behind and Jiho lost control of the wheel on the icy road. Jimin did not remember the rest of it until he opened his eyes, until now, and he was never this scared.

"Jimin-ah."

Jimin turned his head to the left side slowly and ignored the pain. His brother was leaning against the steering wheel on his left side, blood dripping mercilessly from his visible temple and Jimin did not want to think about the other invisible parts of his body, even his eyes were starting to drop and shut close while Jimin's adrenaline making him more awake than ever. What a horrible opposite, Jimin could never be like his brother, did not matter how much he tried to follow the older, not even now at the end of both of their life. 

"Hyung," Jimin spoke for the first time, his voice was shaking from the pain and fear, "hyung, I'm s-scared."

"It's okay, hyung's here," Jiho tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace, his teeth was stained with blood, "you have to be a brave son, okay? Mom and dad need you."

"What?" Jimin had openly cried, his shoulders were shaking from things he could not dare to think anymore, fear, pain, worry, all of them, "W-why are you saying this?"

Jiho lifted his hand on the gearshift slowly as he caressed Jimin's cheek. Jimin always liked to be when he was in distress; the nights Jiho had to stay in his little brother's room because of thunders, the days Jiho had to skip his own study just to pick Jimin up because some kid decided to mess with him, the times Jiho had to roam around the house to find Jimin's secret hideaways and sit with his little brother because Jimin always needed reassurance that he was fine and healthy and a wonderful human being. Jimin might look like the weak one when compared to Jiho, but Jimin was Jiho's whole world, the one person that would make him climb mountains just to see his little brother happy, the one and only reason Jiho had to shoulder the weight of being the heir so Jimin could live his life whatever he wanted to.

"If I leave, will you forgive me?" Jiho muttered slowly, he was slipping away steadily and he had to make sure Jimin would have the best of life after him, after he failed to stay.

"No, hyung, you promise we'll stick together," Jimin sobbed, "I won't forgive you if you leave me alone!" Jimin could never get angry for too long to Jiho but he had to lie this time if it meant for his hyung to stay with him.

Jiho had tears in his eyes. He was not sobbing like Jimin, but he was crying and that made Jimin want to kill himself. He hated seeing his hyung cried, especially when he was the reason for those tears.

"I d-don't think I-I can keep that prom-promise now, I'm s-sorry, okay? D-don't cry," Jiho wiped Jimin's tears away, "you're okay, I'm gl-glad," he chuckled weakly, another smile bloomed on his face and it looked more sincere than before, more peaceful.

Jimin shook his head. "I'm not gonna be okay after this, h-hyung," he whispered brokenly, he gripped Jiho's hand on his cheek as tightly as he could, "you asked me not to die on you, so you shouldn't either. Hyung, mom's gonna be so sad."

"That's w-why they need y-you," Jiho said as his voice had became too soft, he had no time left, "I'll al-always be pr-proud of who you are. Yo-you're okay, you're per-perfect, Jimin-ah, you're okay."

"H-hyung," Jimin frowned looking at Jiho's heavy eyelids, and Jimin was scared once his brother's eyes had closed fully, they would never open again, "hyung, no, don't sleep. I hate when you fall asleep before me. No."

"Kid!"

Jimin's eyes snapped to his opened door, a police officer was crouching down next to him. He did not realise that the police and paramedics had arrived at the scene because he was too focused on making sure that his brother stayed alive. "Help! My brother, he's—" Jimin turned to look at his brother again and Jiho had fully closed his eyes, the laboured breathing had stopped together with his heart, and so Jimin screamed.

"Wake up!"

No, hyung, you wake up!

"Jimin-ah, it's just a bad dream!"

It is a bad dream but I don't know how to wake up!

"Jimin, stop screaming! Wake up!"

Hyung, don't leave me.

Jimin shot up from where he laid on Jin's bed, panting heavily and sweating all over his body. His brother was just there, dying right in front of his eyes. But as he looked around, there were only Yoongi who was sitting and looking worried right next to him with hands on his shoulders and Jungkook who was staring in fear at him, sitting on the couch while hugging his own knees and blanket still wrapped around his waist.

"What, I, hyung—" Jimin opened his mouth but no proper sentences came out, he was suddenly conscious enough to realise that it was a dream, or more like a memory and it indeed happened exactly seven years ago, "Jiho hyung was here," Jimin could only whisper as all of his emotion caved in.

Yoongi's face shifted from worry to pity. "Oh, Jimin-ah," Yoongi said as he enveloped Jimin in a hug as the younger cried. He exchanged a look with Jungkook and Yoongi felt bad for the youngest too because he looked uncomfortable not knowing what to do seeing Jimin like that. Yoongi and Jungkook were almost the same, they were too awkward when it came to uncomfortable situation, that was the other's job and not theirs. But, right now, Jimin only had Yoongi next to him and Yoongi did not have the heart to keep Jungkook in the room, so he gave a slight nod to Jungkook who bolted right away.

"Did I scare him?" Jimin sniffed softly after a long silence from where he hid his face in Yoongi's chest.

Yoongi chuckled. "He'll be okay, don't worry."

"I'm sorry," he sighed and started to rub his puffy eyes furiously. The only thing Jimin hated in the world was showing his vulnerability to Jungkook. He just wanted to be the one Jungkook could alway rely on and how could he do that if he was weak himself?

"Hey. It's okay to feel what you feel. You didn't commit a crime just by having a bad dream," Yoongi mumbled, "or by remembering a memory. I just wish you'll let us help you so you can remember the good times rather than just the bad ones."

"I'm okay, hyung," Jimin started to pull away from Yoongi but the older kept his arms in place so he could not move away.

"Are you, really?" Yoongi scoffed, and when he felt Jimin nodding his head faintly, he pushed the blanket from Jimin's lap and pulled the younger's hidden arm from under it, showing the red scratching marks on the inside of it.

Jimin pulled his whole body away and Yoongi finally gave in. "It's itchy."

"It's itchy for a reason."

"Your point?" Jimin dared him. He always got aggressive whenever someone cornered him with his mental state. He was not crazy.

"You're not healthy," Yoongi answered honestly, he was never the one who was scared to say what was on his mind, or in this case, their minds.

Jimin threw his feet away to the other side angrily and stood up. "Don't speak to me like you know me."

Yoongi laughed loudly, it sounded lunatic. "I know you! We've been friends for twenty years, remember? I was there when it happened."

Jimin turned around quickly, his whole soft demeanor crumbled and turned to anger. "You weren't there! You didn't see him dying right in front of your eyes! You weren't the one who asked him to pick you up and drive you home! You weren't the reason the accident happened! You weren't his brother!"

"You weren't the reason the accident happened, Jimin-ah!" Yoongi looked confused like he could not see where everything came from, like Jimin was not making any sense, "If you want to know who to blame, it was that damn drunk driver who hit your car and he's in jail now! It was that damn worker who did not do his job properly to clean the icy road! It was never you! He was your brother, he felt like it was his responsibility to make sure you came home safely that night!" Yoongi yelled and he heard the door being opened slightly and Jin's warm hand on his shoulder while Namjoon hovering at the door with worried expression, "And, don't you ing dare talk to me like I did not know him. I might not be related to him by blood, but he was like a brother to me too! I was devastated, maybe not as much as you, but if I could just do anything so I still have him here with us, I swear I would. But did you ever see me blaming you for what happened?"

"Hyung," Hoseok called from somewhere behind him and Yoongi never realised him there.

Yoongi did not care for the other's efforts to stop him, although his voice softened a bit at the tears that streamed down Jimin's face again as he was frozen in place, looking at Yoongi with eyes that could make Yoongi cry too. "You lost a brother, we know, Jimin-ah. But we're your brothers too and we want the best for you—"

"By forgetting about what happened?" Jimin cut him off.

"By accepting what happened!" Yoongi replied loudly, "It happened and you can never run from it, but you still have a life in front of your eyes and we don't want you to waste it! Jiho hyung wouldn't want you to waste it."

Jimin opened his mouth to reply but Namjoon beat him at that. "Enough! Jimin just had a bad dream and he's upset, we all can talk about this after everyone's calmed enough."

Yoongi chuckled darkly and stood up. He turned around as he watched Jin's, Namjoon's, and Hoseok's faces one by one. "Sure, feed him with hugs and kisses, don't come cry at me when you find him trying to kill himself."

"Min Yoongi!" Jin yelled with fear in his eyes.

"I'm just stating the possibility, hyung," Yoongi shrugged softly and he was out of the door, finding both Taehyung and Jungkook curled up together in front of the TV in living room, the sofa and makeshift beds that were occupied by Namjoon, Hoseok, Jin, and Taehyung before, because Jungkook and Jimin fell asleep early in Jin's room together with Yoongi, were still a mess.

Taehyung was hugging Jungkook's shoulders, their eyes were fixed at the TV but no one was really watching. Taehyung's fist was shaking, probably from the urge to come to Jimin's side, but he also did not want to leave the youngest alone. Jungkook hated when they fought, he knew Jimin had a problem. Hell. He knew all of them had their own problems, and it was his biggest wish for them to fix all of it, but he just wanted for them to resolve it peacefully. This group was the only place Jungkook ever felt safe and he did not want anything to ruin it.

"Kook," Yoongi called, and both the maknaes turned to him like they were finally snapped out of their own thoughts, "I'm going home, want to come with me?"

Taehyung sat up protectively, he was another person who was never afraid to show his feeling or thoughts. "No, you're going to say something bad to Kookie too."

"I didn't want to hurt him, Tae. You and I know he needs help and I just want him to realise that himself. We all know you'd do the same to him," Yoongi muttered desperately.

"I'm going with hyung," Jungkook said softly and Taehyung looked at him like he did not want him to, "Yoongi hyung won't say anything bad, hyung, you know he never meant anything bad," Jungkook said and he patted Taehyung lightly on the back before standing up, picking up his bag, and walking out of the front door first.

Yoongi gave Taehyung another glance. "Help him, you're his best friend. He's not healthy. I'm bad at saying things in a nice way."

Taehyung sighed defeatedly, his hard expression melted into a concerned one. "I know, hyung, I know. I'll talk to him later."

Yoongi nodded one last time before running after Jungkook who was waiting in front of the elevator.

Hoseok's head had been hurting ever since this morning when he woke up hearing Yoongi yelling at Jimin. He honestly understood the reason for Yoongi to say those words to Jimin, he just did not agree with the way he said them. Jimin was the type who would run away if you forced him, he was the type to shut all of them off when they took a bad turn, and all this time, they had been trying to work things out with Jimin's trauma and what Yoongi did probably made them take a step back. He did not want to blame Yoongi because the older meant well and he was probably running out of his patience, all of them were starting to except for Jin.

He was too lost in his thoughts that he did not realise he had arrived in his office. He was an hour late from the office hour but he could not care less. He was tired, hurting, and wearing Taehyung's tight shirt since he did not have time to come back home and Taehyung's place was the closest to his office, so he decided to fix himself up as he dropped the younger off after asking for his staff to bring his car to Jin's place, leaving Jimin in Jin's and Namjoon's hands. Good thing he still had his jacket with him.

His secretary stood up seeing him approaching the glass door. "Good morning, Mr. Jung," she greeted cheerfully and Hoseok threw her a charming smile, this morning it looked less flirty because he was too tired. She followed him into his office with several documents in her hands and waited until Hoseok finally settled on his chair. "There were things that need your approval, sir—"

"Hoseok, Hana noona," he said, and when his secretary did not respond, he looked up with a soft smile, "you can call me Hoseok when it was just the two of us."

His secretary, Hana, smiled understandingly, knowing something was wrong with the way Hoseok spoke. Hoseok was smug and definitely had more confidence than this. "Yes, I'm sorry, Hoseok-ah. We need you to sign some papers."

"What are these?" he asked as he opened the documents one by one.

"Our project for Jisang Group," Hana informed him and when Hoseok looked up questioningly, she continued, "apparently Jisang Group's Director and your father made a deal through informal meeting a month ago about renovating some of their hospitals and building a new one in Mapo. The president had found the proper land for the new building himself while you were on your trip. He already has a team preparing for the design and handling everything himself, including the divisions under you. Now that you're back you just need to continue on the things he has planned before."

Hoseok nodded. "In other words, he doesn't want me to get involved in this project, he just needs for me to sign the papers," he muttered bitterly and started signing in several places that were marked by Hana.

"You know he doesn't mean like that," Hana replied, feeling a bit uncomfortable to be the one who informed him.

"Oho, he does mean it like that, don't deny it, noona," Hoseok said, trying to sound cheerful but there was a note that asked Hana to stop arguing with him underneath it. He finished signing the papers without actually reading them, because if his father wanted him to not get involved then he would stay as far away as possible. He did not want to come home to another fight, it was honestly getting too old for his mother to play the victim card at him, saying that his dance group had poisoned him to always go against them.

"Thanks, Hoseok-ah."

"My pleasure, beautiful," Hoseok winked at Hana and her answer was only an eye-roll before leaving the room to sit on her desk outside, Hoseok laughed loudly. 

I've arrived safely at the office.

09:54 AM

Jin

OH THANK THE LORD!!!!

I don't need another reason to get more grey hair.

09:56 AM

Dramatic as always I see.

Is he okay now?

09:57 AM

Jin

He went back to sleep.

I don't think he's ready to be on his own yet. Yoongi really got him.

10:01 AM

Hyung was just trying to knock some sense into that kid's head.

10:07 AM

Jin

I know but I don't know if it's the right thing for now.

I want Jimin to ask for help himself but I feel like Yoongi was being too harsh on him.

He'll run off, I can feel it in my bone.

10:09 AM

That's Yoongi for you. A bit different from us, but still with good intention.

Anyway, Jinsang's developing another research centre in Mapo and you didn't say anything?

10:11 AM

Jin

We are?

10:15 AM

Hyung, you're the director's son!

10:16 AM

Jin

Yeah but my dad wants me to focus on my study and stay away, remember?

10:18 AM

Right, totally forgot.

Jinsang's using our service, our fathers made the deal themselves.

10:37 AM

Jin

Hm interesting.

I didn't know our fathers are close.

10:40 AM

I don't either but it's business, everyone's close.

10:46 AM

Jin

Jimin woke up. I gotta drop him off at Tae's and be in the hospital for my in an hour. Ttyl.

*shift but yeah it feels like .

10:59 AM

You cursed! I'm so proud of you :''''''') gotta tell the whole world about it!

11.00 AM

There was a loud ding coming from the elevator to Taehyung's condominium, followed by several footsteps before they stopped.

Taehyung put his cup of coffee with a frown on his face. He was expecting Jin and Jimin. All six of his friends and also his parents were the only ones with free access to his condo, it was usual for them to come unannounced, at least for his friends and not his parents. But Jin would always call him right after he stepped out of the elevator, all of them would. This time, there was no one calling his whereabout.

So, he came out of the kitchen and took a look at his father's face before feeling a harsh hit on the side of his cheek. The attack was unexpected and threw him off guard. He fell to the ground but looked up in horror immediately. His father was furious about some reason Taehyung did not even know exist.

"Party alright last night?" he sneered at his son.

Taehyung looked away. So, that's what it is.

"Did I trouble you too much?" the words slipped out his tongue and before he realised it, his father kicked his side twice. He doubled over in pain, feeling the taste of blood at the tip of his tongue, but all that he could voice out was a sickening laugh. That definitely pissed his father more as he grabbed his collar and dropped more punches, and that was what Taehyung wanted; for his father to try another better approach than violence, which he doubted would ever happen as long as he was breathing.

"When will you stop giving me headaches, you ungrateful child?" his father let him go harshly and stood up straightly, "Parties every week, I have to pay lots to clean up your . Drugs? Did you think I wouldn't ing know?"

Taehyung scoffed, "What do you know anyway?" he whispered as he laid resigned on the floor, did not even have the bit of intention to defend himself.

His father turned to him one more time and looked at him with disgust. "If you make one more trouble, you're cut off from this whole luxury and you're going back home with your mama. This is ing final warning," his father said one more time and stormed out the room.

Once Taehyung heard the sound of elevator door closing, he finally let a relief sigh. He should lay low for a while, he decided. Going back to his home with his parents meant hell everyday, meant punches every minute his father felt unsatisfied even he was not the reason for it, meant he was still invisible for his mother, meant tight guards that would not let him out or let any of his friends in, meant the same as dead.

"Should've killed me already," he whispered to no one and after one last breath, he propped himself up. He needed to clean up before Jin got here and freaked out. Though he would never hide the marks, clean wounds were always better than the bloody ones.

Jimin sighed for the umpteenth time. It turned out that Tae's way of cleaning up was not clean enough for both Jin and Jimin. But Jin had to leave for his shift and Jimin needed an outlet for his itchy hand which was triggered after both him and Jin got a mild heart attack being greeted by Taehyung's bruised face. Just this morning Taehyung left Jin's apartment with Hoseok and a clean face.

"I can't believe your dad hit you," Jimin muttered sadly, did not dare to look into Taehyung's eyes or he would have more reason to break down, "again," he added in a whisper.

"It's not even a surprise anymore, what are you so sad about, huh?" Taehyung joked and Jimin pushed harder at the split on the corner of his lips. Taehyung yelped and tried to pull away but Jimin's grip on the back of his neck was firm enough to keep him still. Jimin was always more stronger although he had smaller body.

"This isn't something to joke around, this is an abuse."

"And, I've lived with this ever since I was five."

Jimin slumped down on the couch next to Taehyung with a little pout. Taehyung followed his posture but with a small comforting smile. He rested his head on Jimin's shoulder. Some people would say they looked intimate like this but this was what happened when you had been friends for more than half of your life and Taehyung was never afraid of people's opinion as long as he had his best friends around him. What did they know anyway?

"You should get some help," Jimin said, there was a waver in the way he talked and Taehyung's heart clenched at that. He hated making Jimin upset on days where he woke up at the wrong side of the bed and with the worst nightmare, he felt like a burden.

"I will if you do too."

Jimin tensed at Taehyung's words. Jimin was a hypocrite, he would dictate his friends to fix their life but he never wanted anyone to talk about his obvious problems.

"An eye for an eye, Jimin-ah," he continued casually, "I'll find help if you will too. You keep saying to Jungkook to get a grip on himself because everyone's worried about the way he lives but you're not that different."

"You're not too."

Taehyung grimaced. "I know," but Taehyung's face softened, "I just don't want to wake up in the middle of the night from a call that tells me one of my friends tries to kill himself anymore."

Jimin would lie to say that thought never crossed his mind, and Taehyung knew that because Jimin was like an open book to him.

"You have to understand the way Yoongi acted today, okay?" he continued on, "He had been in that place before and he doesn't want any of us to go through that again."

"Isn't he selfish then?"

Taehyung straightened up and looked at Jimin with confusion. "What do you mean?"

Jimin was looking straight at the muted TV. "He doesn't want me to kill myself because he's too afraid to go through what we had to that night he decided to take his own life."

"Jimin-ah—"

"It's meant to be like that, Tae," finally for once Jimin turned to look into Taehyung's eyes, and Taehyung realised how sad and empty his friend's eyes were, "I was supposed to d—"

"Don't," Taehyung shook his head in denial because he did not want to hear it.

"You know the truth," Jimin argued.

"Yes, I do know the truth and that truth is no one deserves to die. Not you or your brother, not Yoongi, not anyone other than our stupid parents and this whole ed up society! It's just a ing twisted fate. Not your fault. Not your ing fault, Park Jimin. If you were supposed to die then why are you still here now, huh?" Taehyung was furious.

Jimin smirked but there was no humour that usually surrounded their conversation, no comfort silence or stupid fights or Taehyung's dumb antics or Jimin's melodic laugh and the way he crinkled his eyes like Taehyung was the only one who could make he laugh like that.

"My exact question too," he said, turning to look at his hands on his lap, "why am I still here?" he whispered, and with that Jimin stood up, took his coat and left.

Taehyung did not even try to catch him, which he probably would regret later.