It was raining back then. Hoseok scurried over to the nearby building for shelter and that was when he met Yoongi for the first time. The latter was leaning back against the empty wall, a hat covering his pale mint hair and a cigarette between his lips. He was smoking and Hoseok coughed when he inadvertently inhaled the smoke. Yoongi looked over at him. His dead gaze made Hoseok felt awkward. 

     Hoseok soon learned the name ‘Min Yoongi’ when he found out that the latter was actually one of Namjoon's acquaintances. Little did Hoseok know, he would meet him again when Namjoon introduced them to each other. Wearing his usual deadpan face, Yoongi merely stared at Hoseok, a lollipop in his mouth. Again, Hoseok felt awkward under his prolonged gaze.

     The first time Yoongi came to the apartment Hoseok shared with Namjoon, he was drunk. His disheveled hair and his cold, strong gaze sent the chill down Hoseok's spine. Namjoon reassured him that Yoongi was fine. He was just drunk, decidedly drunk. That night, Yoongi fell asleep on the couch, his mild snore filled the living room. Hoseok brought a blanket and covered the sleeping one with it. 

     Yoongi frequented the apartment. He always stayed over at night, making himself home. Namjoon never really cared about him staying there every night, but he had his own rule and Yoongi despised it. Grinding and stubbing the cigarette in the ashtray testily, Yoongi let out a mild grunt when Namjoon nagged him about smoking in the house. Hoseok noticed the grimace in Yoongi's face. He heard the faint curses escaped from the latter's lips when Namjoon spewed out at him. But Hoseok merely kept quiet.

     Although Namjoon forbade him from smoking at the house, Yoongi had always had cigarettes in his pocket. Every time Namjoon went out to meet his other friends, Yoongi would seize a cigarette from the pocket of his jeans and light it up. And when the white smoke made its way to Hoseok's nostril, the boy would cough. Yoongi shot Hoseok a look, the cigarette dangling from his lips. 

     “You don't smoke, right?” he asked in his slurred voice.

     Hoseok nodded awkwardly.

     A crooked smile then spread across his face. “What a good boy.”

     Hoseok was unsure which part of Yoongi had fascinated him. The latter smoked, cursed, and drank. He even pierced his tongue and ears and had tattoos on his arms and neck. Yoongi was obviously far from Hoseok's ideal type. He was even far from his parents' preferences. But then, something about Yoongi attracted Hoseok in an unknowingly way.
 
     It was just eye contacts and the white noise from the television and the smoke from the cigarette that filled in the silence between them. But Hoseok liked it somehow. He liked it when they exchanged a look with each other. He liked it when a smirk tugged at the corner of Yoongi's lips. He liked it when Yoongi started to speak. His voice sounded like music to Hoseok's ears. He would love to hear it every day. 

     Sometimes, during lunch break, Yoongi would come over to the college where he studied. He would let a lollipop dangle from his mouth instead of a cigarette and watch in silence as Hoseok did his reading at the cafeteria. 

     Taking the lollipop out of his mouth, Yoongi asked, “You wear glasses?”

     Hoseok looked up. “Only when I read.”

     He nodded and hummed in understanding. “You look good in it.” Yoongi on the candy back.

     His cheeks flushed a faint pink. Hoseok looked down at his book and pushed with his slender finger the black rim glasses up his nose bridge. 

     Hoseok had no idea how and where it all started. But one thing for sure, he had grown accustomed to the smoke from the cigarette. He was acquainted with the curses that fell out from the particular mouth. He was used to being stared at by the latter every now and then.

     Hoseok decided that Yoongi was a bad influence on him. The moment Yoongi made him drank a liquor, Hoseok knew he was going astray. He had slowly walked away from the path his parents had set him to walk on. Hoseok was on the verge of falling into the pit. 

     One day, Yoongi began offering him a cigarette. Hoseok took it in his hand. He observed the cigarette and his parents' faces popped up in mind. Hoseok was positive that they would despise it. They would despise the idea of Hoseok smoking. Maybe just maybe, they would not even admit Hoseok as their son anymore.

     Yoongi leaned toward Hoseok to light up the cigarette . Leaning back against the wall, he jutted his chin forward, asking Hoseok to smoke. Hoseok did.

     He coughed when the smoke entered his throat and lung. Yoongi laughed. The latter taught him how to inhale it properly and Hoseok followed. He took a long drag and when he saw the crooked smile formed on Yoongi's lips, little did Hoseok know, he was doing it right.

     “Blow it out,” Yoongi said.

     Hoseok took the cigarette from his lips and blew the smoke out through his mouth. Yoongi looked on silently. Before long, he leaned over close, their lips were almost touching. Yoongi locked his eyes with Hoseok and with his lips slightly parted, he the smoke Hoseok let out into his own mouth.

     Yoongi was indeed a bad influence on Hoseok, but he liked it.

     Namjoon was aware of their vague relationship. He said nothing, but the look on his face told Hoseok that he knew something about the two of them. Lately, Namjoon often went out and left Hoseok alone whenever Yoongi was around. The smirk he gave Hoseok before he hopped into the car sent the chill down Hoseok's spine. He was uncertain if Namjoon had made a right decision leaving them together in the shared apartment. Hoseok tried to shrug it off regardless.

     Yoongi sat on the couch leisurely, eyes on the television. The lights flickered on the screen and the glow of a cigarette illuminated his pale face. Hoseok sat at the small desk in a corner, staring at the latter through his glasses. To Hoseok's surprise, Yoongi stared back. Hoseok looked away quickly, trying to focus on his reading. He heard Yoongi giggled.

     The same white smoke lingered around the living room. It distracted Hoseok a bit. Pushing his black rim glasses up his nose, Hoseok heaved a breath and turned to the next page. That was when Yoongi stood up from his seat and approached Hoseok. He plonked down firmly across Hoseok, eyes fixated on the glasses one. 

     The cigarette had long been grounded in the ashtray when Hoseok looked up. Now, Yoongi was on a lollipop. 

     Yoongi took out the lollipop from his mouth. He quirked his brow at Hoseok, offering a . 

     Hoseok smiled and shook his head lightly. 

     “You're too good. Too nice,” said Yoongi.

Hoseok stared at Yoongi's right arm. Since the latter was wearing a sleeveless shirt, the tattoos on his body were obvious and appealing. The sight caught his eyes. It was a snake. The tattoo. Hoseok frowned a tad when he acknowledged it. He hated snakes. Ever since he was a kid.

     Yoongi noticed the frown in Hoseok's face. “What's wrong?” he asked.

     “Nothing,” Hoseok replied, diverting his eyes to the television. Namjoon went out again tonight, as expected. 

     “Don't like snakes?”

     Hoseok nodded.

     Yoongi smiled. “So cute.”

     His cheeks blushed. Hoseok shot a brief look at Yoongi before he turned his head away. The smirk. Hoseok let himself notice the smirk that tugged at the corner of Yoongi's lips. Nothing was dangling from his mouth at the time. Neither cigarette nor lollipop.

     “What's up with you and Yoongi hyung?” Namjoon asked on a particular morning. He plonked down firmly on a chair and sipped his coffee. 

     Hoseok looked up from his food, baffled.

     “Don't give me that look, dude.”

     “What?”

     An audible sigh escaped from Namjoon's lips. “I was asking what's up with you and Yoongi hyung.”

     Hoseok curved his lips into a permanent ‘O,’ finally able to grasp Namjoon's question. “Umm, nothing.”

     “Nothing?” Namjoon quirked his brow, feeling doubtful.

     Hoseok shrugged.

     “I'm sure there's something going on between you two.”

     He merely raised his brows.

     “You like him—no, scratch that. You love him, am I right?”

     His words got Hoseok tongue-tied. 

     “I've been observing you these days.”

     “W-Was it obvious?” Hoseok asked, worryingly. He put down the spoon and looked full in Namjoon's face. For a moment, his stomach twisted.

     Namjoon smiled at his question. “To me, yeah. It's obvious.”

     Hoseok gulped.

     “I don't know that you would fall for someone like him,” said Namjoon. “Well, you come from a good and wealthy family. You're smart. You're an obedient son. I have no idea Yoongi hyung would be the one.”

     Hoseok heaved a breath. He himself had no idea how it could happen. 

     “Your parents must have hated it if they know this,” Namjoon commented.

     Hoseok hummed. He twitched the corner of his lips upward, somewhat feeling concerned. Namjoon was right. His parents would have hated it if they knew that their son fell for a man. Hoseok was positive that they would hate Yoongi even at the first sight.

     “Hey,” Namjoon blurted, locking eyes with his friend. “It's okay. It's gonna be fine. You got me.”

     “Tell me, Namjoon. What should I do now?”

     Namjoon smiled. His smile was genuine. Hoseok felt composure. “First and foremost,” Namjoon said, “confess. Tell him about your feelings. Be honest. Only then you will know if you need to stop or keep going on.”

     One night, Hoseok saw the glow of the cigarette illuminating Yoongi's face. They were sitting at an abandoned bus stop, spending the night away lounging around the dark and unfavourable place. Yoongi gazed up at the sky and blew the white smoke out through his mouth. 

     He offered a cigarette to Hoseok, but the latter rejected it. 

     Yoongi was not mad when Hoseok refused to smoke. He never did. Because he was aware that Hoseok did not smoke. Hoseok did not drink. Hoseok did not curse. He was a good boy, a good son, unlike him. Although he succeeded in making Hoseok drank and smoked once, Yoongi knew Hoseok's true intention. The latter was just trying. And apparently, it still did not suit to his liking. 

     Somehow frustrated, Yoongi took a long drag of his cigarette. He was just ruining Hoseok. He was just corrupting an angel. Yoongi turned his head at Hoseok. He blew the smoke at his face and merely laughed at the latter's reaction.

     Hoseok closed his eyes and coughed as he inhaled the smoke. But when he heard Yoongi laughing, Hoseok smiled. 

     They exchanged a look with each other afterward. Silence swept over them along with the cold breeze of the night. Hoseok recalled Namjoon's words. He then thought of his parents. 

     It would be hurting if Hoseok confessed to Yoongi and got rejected. But at least, he knew when to stop himself from getting farther and farther away. On the other hand, it would be nice if Hoseok confessed to Yoongi and had his feelings returned the same way. But then, things would get tough with Hoseok trying to keep the relationship alive when his parents were against it.

     Heaving a sigh, little did Hoseok know he was screwed up. 

     It was then Hoseok felt a cold hand on his face. Yoongi was caressing his cheek with his thumb. “What's wrong?” he asked.

     Hoseok urged a smile. “Nothing.”

     Yoongi hummed and shifted his hand down to Hoseok's neck.

     Hoseok flinched a tad at the touch. He noticed Yoongi smiling his crooked smile.

     On their way back to Hoseok's apartment, Yoongi bought a few bottles of liquors and a lollipop. on the candy, Yoongi drove them back to the building. Hoseok agreed with Yoongi's suggestion to drink with him tonight, to wash the frustration away as Yoongi had said. 

     There were a few cans of beers in the fridge. Hoseok took them out to the living room. The moment Yoongi opened one of the bottles, Hoseok knew it would be a mess. Yoongi was hard to handle when he got drunk and the last time he did, it was Namjoon who helped to calm him down. 

     When he watched Yoongi gulped down the liquor, Hoseok questioned himself how would he handle Yoongi later.

     Hoseok decided he should not get himself drunken tonight. Because Yoongi had started mumbling things. He had started making an incoherent sound. Sometimes, he laughed. Sometimes, he snarled. Hoseok sighed.

     He grabbed Yoongi's arm, trying to stop the latter from drinking more. Yoongi snapped. His brows were furrowed, a grunt escaped from his lips. 

     “Hyung, I think you should stop now,” Hoseok said.

     “Get off me!” Yoongi exclaimed. He shoved Hoseok's hand aside brutally. “You piece of !” And with that, Yoongi began to explode, filthy words fell out of his mouth like missiles. 

     Hoseok shivered. He had no idea who Yoongi was talking about. Because the only thing Hoseok knew was, one minute, Yoongi was raising his voice at him and the next he was pushing Hoseok against the couch, making the latter lied on his back. Yoongi cupped Hoseok's face in his hands, leaned down toward him and soon, their lips were crashing.

     Tongue-tied and dumbfounded, Hoseok was clueless. He still could not register what was going on at the moment even when Yoongi was and on his bottom lip and deepening the kiss. 

     Hoseok cupped Yoongi's face. Gently, he tried to pull away, breaking the kiss. Hoseok was out of his breath. He needed the oxygen. Yoongi somehow got the signal and soon pulled away. Their lips were swollen and wet, their breaths were audible and uneven. Wide-eyed, Hoseok looked full in Yoongi's face.

     The crooked smile. Yoongi gave him the crooked smile. Hoseok did not know what did the smile mean. He did not either know what did the kiss mean. All that he knew was his body was burning. His heart was on fire it felt like Hoseok would explode anytime sooner. The fan in the living room seemed like it did not function and Hoseok was sweating. 

     “H-Hyung?” Hoseok spoke under his breath.

     “I love you,” Yoongi blurted. “I love you, you brat.”

     Hoseok froze. Those words. Those three words. It was supposed to be Hoseok's line. He was the one who should say it to Yoongi. But then here Yoongi was, saying it first before Hoseok did. After they had a messy kiss. Hoseok wondered if it was a truth. After all, Yoongi was drunk. He was not in his right mind.

     “I…love you too, hyung,” Hoseok confessed at last.
 
     Yoongi smiled. Before long, he leaned down toward Hoseok and kissed him again.

     Hoseok kissed Yoongi back despite he was hesitant. If this was the only chance Hoseok had tonight, he would grab it. He would kiss Yoongi as if it was his first and last. He would wrap his fingers around Yoongi's neck and breathe in his scent. He would put the words “I love you” on repeat until they both had fallen asleep, until the Sun rose from the flooring of the Earth, until everything that happened tonight became the past, buried somewhere in the corner of their memories.

     Yoongi pulled away to catch a breath. He smiled weakly, his half-lidded eyes locked with Hoseok's. Before long, he fell on Hoseok, head rested on his chest. When Hoseok checked on him, Yoongi was already fast asleep. His breath was warm and Hoseok ran his fingers through Yoongi's mint hair. He then wrapped his arms around Yoongi's petite frame, closed his eyes, and heaved a sigh.

     Hoseok remembered everything. He remembered every detail of last night's incident. He remembered how Yoongi's lips tasted like on his. He remembered the burning sensation Yoongi gave him when they kissed. He still and would always remember it. Hoseok was not drunk. He was in his right mind at the time. The only thing he concerned about was Yoongi. Did he remember it? Did he remember their kiss? Did he? Could he?

     When Hoseok woke up the next morning, he felt cold. Yoongi was not there anymore. Hoseok sat up on the couch. He looked around the living room. The empty cans of beers and the empty bottles of liquors were still on the small table. There was no sign of Namjoon coming home either.

     An audible sigh escaped from Hoseok's lips.
 
     Yoongi came over to the apartment that night as usual. He sat on the couch, no cigarette between his lips, no lollipop dangling from his mouth. Namjoon was home at the time and he shot Hoseok a look. 

     Hoseok heaved a breath. He did not know what to do now. Hoseok nudged and asked Namjoon, but the latter merely forced him to talk to Yoongi instead of throwing him questions. 

     Yoongi was a bit different after that particular night. Though he still frequented there, Hoseok felt like the distance between them was growing. It was separating them. Hoseok was scared.

     “Hyung?” Hoseok called out.

     Yoongi turned his head at him. His gaze was dead and empty. Hoseok recognized the look in his face. It was the same look Yoongi gave him when they first met. Cold. Just like the raindrops. 

     “Nothing.” Hoseok urged a smile and looked away. 

     
Yoongi dropped his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. Blowing the remaining white smoke out through his mouth, he seized his wallet from the pocket of his jeans. Lollipop. Hoseok knew he needed lollipop after he had done smoking. Hoseok could already remember it in his head, just like he remembered the mathematical formulae he learned in of the classes he took. 

     Hoseok seized a lollipop out of the pocket of his jacket. He handed it to Yoongi. A smile graced his features.

     Yoongi looked down at the lollipop in Hoseok's hand. He diverted his eyes to Hoseok and smirked. Taking it and throwing away the plastic cover, Yoongi began on it.

     The way Yoongi's lips moved as he on the candy had Hoseok staring. He recalled the moment when the soft lips touched his and how it on his bottom lip sensually. Did Yoongi remember it? Could he?

     Yoongi caught him staring at his lollipop. He took the candy out of his mouth and offered Hoseok a . Yoongi did not expect Hoseok to take it because he never did.

     But there Hoseok was, actually taking the lollipop and and it. 

     Yoongi narrowed his eyes to slits, feeling quite impressed by Hoseok's action. Nevertheless, he smirked and on his lollipop again when Hoseok handed it back to him.

     “Hyung?”

     Yoongi hummed in response.

     Hoseok took a deep breath. He mustered up his guts. “Do you hate me?”

     Silence.

     “Hyung.”

     “No,” Yoongi finally answered, pulling out the candy from his mouth. 

     “But why did you act cold toward me?”

     “Have I ever been warm to you?”

     “Always.”

     Yoongi turned his head at Hoseok.

     “You…are always warm to me.” Hoseok looked down, embarrassed.

     Yoongi's gaze softened on the latter. After a short pause, he opened his mouth to speak. “Hoseok. I don't hate you. I'm just—”

     “Was it about that night?” Hoseok cut him off. 

     Yoongi looked away and put the lollipop back in his mouth. A sigh escaped from his lips.

     Hoseok shot Yoongi a look. Again, he took a deep breath, mustering up his guts. “Yoongi hyung. T-Thank you. For the kiss.”

     The lollipop stick stopped moving up and down. 

     Hoseok was not sure if Yoongi got what he was trying to say. After all, Yoongi was drunk that night. He probably could not remember anything that happened between them, including the kiss. All that Yoongi might remember was what happened before he got drunk and what happened the next morning.

     Yoongi did not spare a glance at Hoseok. He did not even turn his head in his direction. 

     The air of awkwardness swept over them before long. Hoseok looked away, silently cursing himself for whatever words he had said to Yoongi.

     After a short pause, Hoseok heard Yoongi giggled. The latter took out the candy from his mouth and replied, “You are welcome.”

     Upon hearing that, Hoseok shot Yoongi a look, wide-eyed. “Did you—”

     Yoongi hummed almost immediately. “I remember it,” he said. 

     A smile graced Hoseok's face. Now Hoseok wondered if Yoongi could remember his love confession as well.

     As though he could read Hoseok's mind, Yoongi said, “And I remember things I have said too.”

     “You did?”

     Yoongi fell silent. After a short pause, he replied, “I'm sorry. I wasn't in my right mind.”

     Hoseok thought his heart had broken. What did he mean by the sudden apology? “Hyung?”

     “I'm sorry I dragged you into this .”

     “Why?”

     Yoongi looked at Hoseok. His gaze was stern and serious. “We are different,” he said. “You and I. You are an angel. I'm just a piece of . I shouldn't feel this way toward you.”

     “No,” Hoseok retorted. “I meant it. I really meant it. When I said ‘Thank you for the kiss’ I really meant it.”

     He raised his brows at Hoseok.

     “And when I said ‘I love you too’ that night, I really meant it. Yoongi hyung, I shouldn't feel this way toward you too. It's forbidden. My parents won't allow me. But I can't help it. I can't help myself from falling for you. And I don't regret my choice to love you. I never regret it.”

     They exchanged an intense look with each other. Yoongi found himself tongue-tied. He did not regret the choice he made either. He never regretted his choice to love Hoseok. To Yoongi, it was the best decision he had ever made in his life. But he did not deserve Hoseok. Hoseok was way too precious and good for someone like him.

     “You are crazy,” Yoongi blurted.

     “You're crazy too.” Hoseok smiled.

     Yoongi smirked. He remembered the moment when Hoseok replied to his confession. He remembered those three words falling out of Hoseok's mouth and he remembered kissing his lips. Even though everything seemed blurry, Yoongi somehow remembered that.

     It had been lingering in his head for a long time. Ever since that night. Like a nicotine, Yoongi was addicted. He was not sure if what he heard that night was true or not, but Yoongi was addicted. He wanted to hear those three words from Hoseok again and again.

     “Say it,” Yoongi spoke. “Say it again.”

     Hoseok tilted his head, a little dazed.

     “Say what you said to me that night. That three words. Say it again for me.”

     “I love you,” Hoseok said. “I love you, Yoongi hyung.”

     A smile decked on Yoongi's pale face. Each word that fell out from Hoseok's mouth sounded heavenly. Yoongi dropped the lollipop to the ground. He leaned toward Hoseok and captured his lips. The lips that uttered the words which had him addicted to love, to Hoseok, more. The same lips he kissed that night which left Yoongi with guilt and satisfaction, both at the same time. Hoseok's lips.

     He could taste the strawberry flavour of the lollipop in Yoongi's mouth. Smiling through the kiss, Hoseok wrapped his fingers around Yoongi's neck. He pulled the latter even closer and deepened the kiss. They were now a mess.

     It tasted like nicotine to Yoongi. The kiss. But unlike a cigarette, this new addiction of his was healthier and more satisfying. Yoongi liked it.

     His lips went down to Hoseok's jawline and neck. on the sensitive skin gently, Yoongi felt Hoseok's fingers tugging at his locks. A moan escaped from his lips. It sounded pleasing to Yoongi's ears. In a second, Yoongi found another new addiction. Before long, he pulled away and ended the kiss. Yoongi looked at Hoseok and found himself lost in the beautiful eyes as the latter stared at him lovingly. 

     The moment Yoongi's lips curved into a crooked smile, Hoseok knew he was screwed up. He definitely was screwed up. There was no turning back at this point. Hoseok had eventually gone astray from the path his parents wanted him to walk on. He had fallen deep into a pit called Yoongi. 

     For a moment, Hoseok would want to recall how and where it all started. He locked his eyes with Yoongi, looking for love in every wrong part of him. Unexpectedly, Hoseok found it.