Chanhee couldn’t believe that he got accepted in his first choice university. It just felt so surreal holding that acceptance letter that meant the door to so many opportunities and possibilities. He wasn’t surprised to feel hot tears prickling the corner of his eyes, the gentle hug of his mother, and the enthusiastic slap on his back from his approving father.

    He was never the type of student who was naturally smart and got by through brains alone. No, he had to push in the extra effort and go through after school tutoring classes while juggling other extracurricular activities such as clubs and his part time job in the car wash. That was another thing, his family lived paycheck to paycheck. It was his duty as the only son to contribute to the family income. As far as he could remember he had always pitched in somehow through random odd jobs. He’s worked to the bone, but he takes great pride in all that he does for his loving parents. The downside was that he never had enough time for his real passion, which are to sing and dance. If he was to be truly honest his dream is to be a performer, not as a doctor that he proclaims just to appease his parents. He knows that they only wanted for him to have a better life, to move into the city and be rich.

    “I never had an ounce of doubt about our son! This calls for the special cut of beef!”

    His mother never let him go, she cried as well and was sniffling, kissing at his tear-soaked cheeks.

    “Yes! I’m going to cook up a feast for our wonderful son. We are so proud of you!”

    Chanhee had never been this happy in his life, and he hugged both his parents, shakily muttering through chest-wracking sobs how much he loved and appreciated them.

    “You are going to have a better life than we did Chanhee, you’ll be rich, and eventually found someone that you’ll love. Don’t forget us, and come back to us when you do. We want to see you happy.”

    He could only nod amidst their warm embrace, a slight feeling of apprehension rising in his gut.

    “Yes mom, yes dad. I’ll make you proud.”

    His college life awaits him in the city, apart from his parents, unbeknownst of everything. He only holds a tiny wish that he can finally be who he wants to be.

-

    A week later Chanhee was standing by the bus stop, one bag slung over his shoulders as he held his itinerary, checking over it anxiously for the umpteenth time. His parents couldn’t see him off as they both had work in the factory, instead they said their farewells the night before. They entrusted him with an adequate sum of money from their savings, even though he had insisted that they keep it for their retirement. His father was firm that he took it, absolutely refusing to send his son to the city without some allowance to spend, the scholarship notwithstanding.

    He rubbed at his shoulders to generate some heat, glad that his mom made him wear a jacket. It was barely the time before the sun rose in the horizon, and so far he was the only one waiting there. He checked his flip phone, his face brightening as he read a text from Youngbin. He was the only friend he’d confide in about his dreams of becoming a performer, and his senior of seven years, making him an older brother figure that he looked up to. A couple years ago when Chanhee had just been in middle school, Youngbin had left their hometown to pursue his dreams of becoming an idol in the city. They kept in touch since then, and Youngbin had been super excited to hear that he’s been accepted in college and that they could finally meet. His status as a trainee had restricted him a lot of freedom, including visiting his family and friends which they only allow in the holidays. Now Youngbin was finally debuting this year, and Chanhee’s excitement doubled at the fact. It was basically like they were both debuting in their own respective right.

CH: I can’t wait to see u too! Also congrats for debuting as the leader hyung!

YB: They just chose me bc I was the oldest.

CH: Not true! U r the most experienced and wisest. :)

YB: Hah, at my old age I better be

CH: Can’t deny that

YB: Still mistreating me…

CH: You said it not me!

YB: Ah it’s been really such a long time. You’re a grown up now little Chani!

CH: Just watch I’m probably taller than you now! :P

YB: we’ll see, anyway stay safe in your trip. I’ll see you in the station in a couple of hours.

YB: gtg manager is yelling at me.

CH: See u hyung! And good luck wit that.

YB: thanks

    Chanhee bit his lips, and closed his phone, gripping it in his pockets. He had a feeling that everything was going to be okay somehow. He slumped down the bench, looking over the itinerary and committing each stop to memory.

    Half an hour later he was woken up by a nudge in the shoulders. He had dozed off in the bench while waiting, and the bus has finally arrived. He thanked the old man who woke him, and rubbed his eyes, standing up and taking a tentative step inside the bus.

    Chanhee took a deep, last breath of Hongseong air. His next destination: Seoul.

-

    The plan was that he was going to stay with his aunt who lived in Seoul. His scholarship didn’t include room and board, and they simply couldn’t afford a dorm let alone an apartment for him. He barely knew his aunt, but his dad had apparently made arrangements so that he could live with her. From the best of his knowledge his dad and aunt had not been in the greatest of relationship because of a falling out from years past. He didn’t even have her number, but his dad told him that she’ll be there to pick him up from the station. He’d been dreading getting lost right off the bat in the bustling metropolis, and frankly he wasn’t a hundred-percent sure if his aunt would be there. Thankfully upon announcing the news to Youngbin, the young man graciously offered to pick him up, telling him that he was more than glad to. Chanhee much preferred it that way, and he couldn’t stop counting down the minutes till he finally arrives and compare heights with him. He’s grown a lot since then.

    He had meant to get off and eat at one of the bus stops at about two hours in the trip, but instead figured he’d really like to get to Seoul all the faster, braving the grumbling emptiness of his stomach. He typed a quick message to Youngbin that he’d arrive about half an hour early and was replied with a brief confirmation.

    Just two more hours to go…

-

    Chanhee wasn’t prepared at all. Seoul was its own separate entity altogether. He felt it upon entering the outskirt districts, eyeing the horizon vertically with numerous sleek skyscrapers. He could feel the thrum of energy and life that was fueled by the modern ambitions of the people living there. Very soon he will be a part of that too, and he felt it almost burn him.

    Once the bus entered the terminal, Chanhee rose up quickly from his seat, highly aware of the lightness of his belongings, the lightness of his being as he stepped outside the bus and just breathed Seoul air. That was him for a good five minutes, standing there in awe as a rush of people moved all around him.

    He had of course notified Youngbin of which terminal he will be arriving at, and was in a daze as he walked past people to get to the front and meet by the sitting area. He mentally apologized to his aunt that he wasn't sure was there as he earnestly searched through the crowds for a tall, light-browned hair man. Nice description by the way Chanhee huffs, seeing as in Seoul there are literally thousands of tall, light-browned hair men. He found an empty seat and made a beeline for it, sitting down and flipping open his phone to call, but Youngbin had been a second faster than him. Chanhee pressed the green call button in record speed.

    “Hello Youngbin-hyung where are you? I’ve been looking for you. Like any of these tall brunettes could be you.”

He heard a chuckle on the other end, but he didn’t think anything he said was funny. Chanhee’s euphoria was quickly forming into anxiety… He was alone for crying out loud, in the middle of the city, surrounded by thousands of unfamiliar faces except for Youngbin who could be anywhere.

    “Relax, I’m already here. I just stopped by a sandwich place because I figured you’d be hungry. Where are you sitting?”

    Chanhee’s heart rate slowed down at Youngbin’s reassurance, and looked around him for a readily identifiable location mark.

    “Umm, I’m at the sitting area, the lockers are behind me, and I’m directly facing a coffee vending machine.”

    “Perfect, alright see you soon.”

    “Okay, bye.”

    Chanhee turned to observe and “people gaze” (as he’d like to call it) as he waited for Youngbin. His eyes briefly latched onto glimpses of people that stood out to him. He saw a foreign couple holding hands and talking a language that was not English, a pretty lady with pink hair and a purple coat, a guy with orange hair and a guitar on his back, and a little boy that was crying alone… Oh no what’s wrong?

    Chanhee didn’t think any harder, sympathizing with the boy, as he left his seat and approached the distraught child.

    “Hey are you okay? Where’s your mommy?” He bent down and patted the little boy’s head, who was still wailing, and it was obvious the child was lost with no idea where his mom went. Chanhee sighed, gently pulling the boy aside, away from the traffic.

    “We’ll wait for your mommy together ok? Do you have a phone?” The boy shook his head, but at least it seemed like he was calming down from his presence.

    “Do you want some fruit juice?” They were besides the vending machine, and the boy eagerly nodded as a response, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand. Chanhee smiled, taking out some spare change from his pocket and feeding them to the coin slot, punching the button for the kiwi strawberry flavored juice pouch.

    “Here ya go” Chanhee bent down and ruffled the kid’s hair as he eagerly popped the straw and drank the juice.

    He wanted to the boy to customer service to make an announcement, but he honestly didn’t even know where it is. Getting even more lost was not an option, and chances are the mother was hopefully backtracking to where she went with her child. He felt his phone vibrate, and the boy looked up at him with clear, round eyes.

    “Don’t worry little guy, just gonna pick up this call.” The boy nodded, sniffling his small nose.

    “Hello hyung”

    “Where are you?”

    “I’m at the vending machine. I’m with a little boy. He lost his mom, and we’re waiting for her.”

    There was a pause on the other end, and Chanhee thought Youngbin had disconnected for a second.

    “Hyung?”

    “Yeah, yeah I see you.”

    Suddenly the boy let go of his grip and was sprinting off somewhere.

    “Hey kid! Wait!” Chanhee ran towards the boy, heart pumping in his chest as he mumbled out apologies left and right, barely avoiding the density of the crowd. He kept his eyes trained to the ice blue Olaf hoodie that the kid was wearing, and stopped on his feet when a woman embraced the child.

    Oh thank goodness.

    The boy turned around and pointed at him, and Chanhee hesitantly walked closer to them.

    “Mommy he’s the nice hyung who gave me juice!” The boy smiled and slurped on the straw.

    “Oh thank you so much for taking care of my son! I was so scared, I was in such a rush I lost track of him, and anything could have happened. How can I repay you sir?”

    Chanhee felt awfully flustered, he was no hero, he just helped a child and definitely didn’t deserve any reward for it.

    “I just wanted to help, anybody would have in my position.” Then the boy was hugging him, giggling before he rushed back to his mother who kissed him on the cheeks and carried him up on her arms. Chanhee suddenly thought of his own mother and felt a twinge of sadness. He shook his head at the feeling, he was going to be by himself now, and he had to be strong. The mother thanked him again before he bid them farewell, watching as they walked off and waved back to the boy.

    “You know, you haven’t changed.”

    Chanhee looked behind him, and was relieved to see Youngbin casually dressed in a hoodie and ripped jeans, holding up a bag with the sandwiches.

    “Oh hold on” He brought a hand on top of his head, then brought it to his own, comparing their heights. “I take it back, you’ve changed. Little Chani’s grown a couple of centimeters.”

    Chanhee wanted to say something snarky but bit his lip instead. Youngbin had always back when he was a child, and he wanted to prove that he’s matured since then. Well at the very least the familiarity of it comforted him. For the record he was almost his height now, short only by a couple of centimeters.

    “Thanks for coming hyung.”

    Youngbin grinned at him, and Chanhee could definitely detect the camera-ready quality of it. If he was crushing for him Chanhee would have swooned, but no, he was just his handsome hyung. The girls back in Hongseong had been utterly devastated when he left.

    “No problem, and Chanhee… Welcome to Seoul.”

    He didn’t know how to respond and just blushed. Youngbin laughed good-naturedly at him.

    “Now let’s go! I got a whole day off for you!”

-

    They walked the streets and sampled all the delicious, deep-fried street foods that they could. All the while Chanhee soaked in the energy that was now vibrant and pumping around him, a typical country boy that’s city-struck. Youngbin was a natural, at ease in his surroundings and he made him feel like so, turning and observing at whenever he led him to.

    It was a little past one when he got a text from his dad. They had stopped at an ice cream shop and Youngbin was just telling him about the members on his newly-formed group.

    “Ah hyung hold on.” He scooped some vanilla ice cream on his mouth and read the text from his phone (Youngbin didn’t fail at teasing him about it, of course).  

D: Chanhee, are you doing okay? are you at your aunt’s house? I hope she’s accommodating you well.

    Chanhee’s eyes widened. Oh … He’d completely forgotten about his aunt. Where was he going to even stay? He remember passing by an internet café, he could lay low there for a while, he probably should find a part time job too, start looking at cheap apartments, he has some money for about two months of rent, if he could ration his food, and…

    “Hey! Little Chani, are you ok?” Youngbin was waving a spoon in his line of vision, tilting up his chin gently.

    “Oh sorry, just thinking.” He shoved another scoop of ice cream on his mouth, savoring the cold and sweet vanilla flavor. If he was more focused he would have snapped at Youngbin for using the childish nickname again.

    “About?”

    Chanhee wasn’t sure if he should answer. He really didn’t want Youngbin knowing about his current housing problems, as far as he knows he’s already set and prepared to go for college. No problems, a smooth transition.

    “Ah just thinking about college stuff.”

    “Hmm… You sure?”

    “Yeah hyung, really! Quit worrying.”

    Chanhee dropped his gaze back to his phone, fingers typing away a decent response to his father.

CH: Dad I’m with Youngbin-hyung right now. You remember him of course. He says he’s letting me stay at his place for now, I’m going to find a part-time job and help pay the rent. He says its fine.

    Chanhee breathed out only after typing the period in the end. He knew his dad likes Youngbin, so hopefully the issue with his aunt doesn’t turn into a big deal. The problem was none of it was true of course.

D: Are you sure Youngbin's ok with that?

CH: Yup, anyway dad don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I’ll work hard on it like I always have.

D: Ok, I trust you son. Remember we love you, and stay safe.

CH: Thank you dad, I’ll call you and mom as much as I can. Love you both!

    Well it looks like he has his work cut out for him. His whole life he’s worked hard so nothing’s changed. Chanhee abruptly stood up from his chair, a grating screech sounding off from the movement. Youngbin looked at him intently, brows furrowed.

    “Chanhee really, what’s going on? You look distressed.”

    Chanhee’s resolve not to tell Youngbin wavered a bit at seeing his eyes fill with genuine concern. But…

    “I’m here to help you, you know. Just tell me and get it off your chest.”

    He did used him as his excuse. There’s no harm in telling him, and Youngbin might even know a job or two to start him off. Chanhee sighed loudly, sitting back down to explain.

    “Hyung, I don’t have a place to live.”

    “What—how?! I thought you had a scholarship for that!”

    Chanhee shook his head, wincing a little as Youngbin raised his voice. “The scholarship doesn’t cover it. I have some money, but it’s not enough. I’m gonna get a part time job, and stay at a net café... Eventually I can save enough for rent, and I can ration my food, I don’t eat that much.” Saying his plan out loud made it sound ridiculous now. Good thing for him he’s always been somewhat of an optimist. For if he wasn’t, well, you got to make the most of what you have, and Chanhee didn’t have a lot growing up.

    Youngbin’s expression hardened, and he honestly looked like he’s about to punch him from where he sat.

    “Don’t be stupid Chanhee! This is Seoul, and it’ll eat you alive! How can you come here without knowing where you’ll stay? And getting a part time job to pay rent? You realize Seoul isn’t going to take crap wages right? Rent is expensive as hell here, and everything else, so quit getting it in your head that you can support it by yourself without having a steady income. It’s dangerous to think like that Chanhee, pretty soon you’ll be in debt and a lot of people will use that fact to manipulate you, and you’ll be desperate enough to do anything to get money. I’ve seen it happen so many times before, and I absolutely do not want you to go through that. You’re too pure and too naïve still.”

    Youngbin’s voice held no trace of humor, only firm resolution. Everything he just said settled in Chanhee’s gut like an anchor. The reality of living in the city alone has begun to blur his excitement, dissipating it, if not completely, and it’s either he swim desperately for his life or he sink from the weight. Whatever optimism he had was snuffed out by Youngbin’s statement, forever lost to the depths.

    He honestly didn’t even feel the tears that’s spilling out from his eyes, too caught up in the harshness of his words.

    “I—I just thought, I wanted to work hard and see if I can make it…”

    He was sobbing now, and gods did he hate the feeling of it. The last thing he wanted was to be pitied by Youngbin and him crying is definitely not helping. He was wiping away his tears and saw Youngbin get up and leave through his blurred vision, probably getting enough of his pathetic display. Chanhee wanted to follow him, wanted to apologize for inconveniencing him, but all he could do was think that this was only going to be the first day of many in Seoul. He sat there, wishing he could just go back home. He didn’t even care if he’ll become a factory worker in his hometown, forever living under the guidance of his parents. Why did he even apply here in Seoul? He was satisfied and content back home. A voice in the back of his mind told him it was because he wanted something new, a bigger challenge for him, a chance at his dream.

    He hasn’t even entered his college yet and already he’s off to such a shaky start. It wasn’t that long ago that he’d gotten his acceptance letter, crying tears of joy, now he’s crying again but for completely the opposite emotion.

    Chanhee just buried his head in his arms, a dull ache throbbing in his temples. He needs to calm down, and he closed his eyes. Maybe when he wakes up he'll be in an apartment and have money for once...

    “Blow your nose, and drink this.”

    He whipped his head up at the sound of Youngbin's voice, making him dizzy, but he didn’t care as he saw Youngbin offering him a bunch of napkins and a cup of water.

    “Hyung…”

    He just stared at him dumbly, not quite comprehending his sight, his emotions running high.

    “Do I also have to help you blow your nose Little Chani?”

    “What, n-no. Why are you still here? I thought you left me…”

    “Oh no Little Chani, that wouldn’t be too wise now is it. I got up to get these.”

    Chanhee blinked, his eyes puffy and red, eyelashes fluttering with tears. He took the items and did as Youngbin instructed, blowing his nose and taking a gulp of water. He felt warmth replace the heavy coldness in his stomach, feeling awfully embarrassed now under the careful gaze of his hyung. Youngbin cleared his throat, catching his full attention.

    “Now Chanhee I don’t mean to discourage you with what I’ve just said. I believe in you, but as your hyung I won’t allow you to stay in some net café, cross my fingers, and hope for the best.” Youngbin's tone has considerably softened, clearly knowing the impact of his words on the younger. Chanhee's just really grateful to have him here, someone familiar and so caring. It was a good thing he opened up to him.

    “Hyung I don’t know what else to do… I have an aunt here but I don’t want to bother her, I don't even know her. I can’t afford a dorm, and—”

    Youngbin stopped him as he held up his hand and took out his phone, making a call to someone. Chanhee just leaned back on his seat, biting his lips, and staring anxiously at the pastel pink ceiling.

    “Hello grandma, it’s me. Yeah, I’m fine. How’s the restaurant? You know your cooking’s still the best…”

    Chanhee zoned out of the conversation, mind too deep in his own thoughts. What am I going to do? He might as well have drilled a hole in the ceiling on how much he stared at it, as if it would magically manifest the answer.

    “Yeah, actually I have someone who can replace her. He’s a good friend of mine, he’s like a younger brother to me. His name is Chanhee, and he’s a hard worker… You’re excited to see him? Great! He’s ready now, thanks grandma, love you.”

    Upon hearing his name, Chanhee sat up straight, giving Youngbin an inquisitive, hopeful look. Youngbin just smiled back at him, again with that idol confidence that made Chanhee’s heart undoubtedly leap in his chest.

    “Oh what would you do without me Little Chani.”

-

Author Notes: So this first chapter is more introductory of Chanhee's situation. Next chapter would definitely begin the uni life.

And thanks for reading y'all! I need to see/interact with more Rochan shippers. ♡