Could life get any better than this? Jackson really couldn't imagine. The feeling of waking up next to the most beautiful woman in the whole world was a bliss. The feeling of remembering that he was on his honeymoon with the said woman was surreal. She was still sleeping, clueless to the happenings around her. Her breathing was even and calm. She looked so serene and with the small rays of sunlight illuminating her face, she almost looked like an angel. The sunlight surrounded her head like a halo. She was sleeping on her side with both hands under her head, facing Jackson. It was adorable how even in her unconscious state, she was still aware of where he was.

Jackson turned fully to his side to look at his newly wed wife closer. He couldn't help himself but caress the soft skin of her arm up till her shoulder, where he started drawing mindless patterns. Her skin was soft and warm. It was familiar. It was safe. He smiled fondly as he watched her breathing in and out slowly through her slightly parted lips. The stray hair on her face drifting with each breath she let out. He brushed the hair behind her ear, so he could see every detail of her fair face better. Her eyelashes were long casting shadows under her eyes. From the slight curve of her nose to her plump lips till her rosy cheeks, she was perfect. She truly was a natural beauty. And she was all his.

He knew he had her at the first meeting. He knew the exact moment when she fell for him. He could feel it. He could see it in her eyes. He could feel it in her touch. He could see it despite her attempts of hiding it. From him or from herself, he wasn't sure.

He himself couldn't pinpoint the exact time he fell for her. Maybe it was gradual, silently accumulating, bit by bit under the radar. Until a moment he just noticed that yeah he was in love with her. That yeah it wouldn't be so bad growing old and gray with her by his side.

She was the classic heroine from a romantic movie and he was just the extra on the background. He was nobody important. Their love story was effortless and simple. Everything just progressed naturally. There were no bumps on the road. No heartbreak before the happy ending. Their love was easy. It was painless and safe. It was all rainbows and no rain. It was perfectly cliché. It was so easy, it would make others jealous.

After 3 years of being together, of being happy, of being in love, they talked about their future together for a long time and decided that, yes it was time, they were ready for it.

Jackson can't lie. The first time she brought it up, he was surprised. So surprised that he had immediately declined by saying that it came too suddenly. Even though he should have seen it coming from afar.
The thing is, he was in no hurry of settling down. To be honest he never even spared a thought about it. It never crossed his mind. Not with her at least.

Marriage was such a big thing. It was huge. It was a lot of commitments and promises. Promises of forever that he's not so sure he could keep. Not, the way his life was at the time. He thought marriage would be a problem of the far far future. Truth to be told he, at the time, thought he would never be able to marry anyone.

Not because he didn't believe in marriage or because he hated the system. Not even because he thought marriage would kill love, no. He was a romantic person, overly so. He wanted everything that came with romance, marriage included. It was just that he didn't think he would ever find anyone he was able to marry. He didn't just want to marry anyone. He wanted to marry a person that had all of his heart. He wanted to marry his true love. Call him naïve or foolish if you want, but he - even though he's been hurt one too many times - still believed in love and happy endings. He just didn't think he would be able to get it himself with the person he wanted.

And then he met his lovable future wife. Slowly but unlikely she cunningly inserted herself in his heart.

They had a lot of fights during the long period that they discussed their future together. He didn't see the need to look that far in the future, why not just enjoy the present. Why change anything at all? But the way she saw it, Jackson didn't love her enough to marry her. That time was the time they struggled the most in their relationship. It was a toxic mixture of Jackson's reluctance and fear and her insecurities. It was almost their downfall as she didn't see the reason to continue their relationship if Jackson didn't love her enough to marry her. Didn't love her enough to spend their future together. Didn't love her enough to be hers.

That made Jackson think. She wasn't completely wrong in that sense. But he did love her. He was sure of his feelings. He didn't plan on loving her. He didn't even think it was possible but it just happened. Surprising him when he finally admitted it to himself.

He had grown used to her. He was used to her being part of his life. Being part of his daily routines. If he had to think of a future without her, he knew he would survive it but it will be lonelier future. And empty future. He knew he wouldn't meet anyone more suited for him as her. They suited together perfectly. They complimented each other so well that sometimes he would wonder if they were made for each other. A future with her would be a safely happy future. There were only pros in marrying her. He couldn't even think of any cons.

So what was really stopping him from doing it? That was something he didn't want to acknowledge consciously. That was something he was not willing to think about.

One day, during the period when they suffered, Jackson came home from work to find her kneeling on the floor with tears rolling down her face. She looked so small and heartbroken, like the life had drained out of her. He had ran to hold her against his chest while she was sobbing and clutching his chest. Why are we even together Jackson? She had whispered through her tears Am I just not good enough for anyone to marry?

He hated it. Jackson hated it so much. He hated being the reason for her tears. He hated her putting herself down like that. She was perfect in every single way. Anyone would be lucky to marry a women like her. She should know her value. She was worth so much more than what she thought.

Do you even love me anymore?

That was like a punch to Jackson's gut. It hurt Jackson so much to see her like this. And that was the moment Jackson decided enough, was enough. It was time to let go of his selfish reasons.

It will be the last time he would be the reason for her tears. It would be the last time she would feel like this. She deserved to be happy. He also deserved to be happy. From this moment on he would do his best to make her as happy as she could be.

He had cupped her face and lifted her face up so he could look her in the eyes. He had wiped her tears away with his thumb as he whispered, I love you more than I can put into words. You had come to my life in time I needed help and saved me from my demons.  I'm sorry for being an A class . I was afraid of the unknown and was stuck inside my own head. I forgot we were in this together. Thank you for always taking care of me. For always being there for me. I want to return the favor. You would make me the happiest man on earth if you'll let me take care of you from now on.

At this point her eyes were wide open. Surprise and nervousness was evident all over her face. Jackson smiled and caressed her cheek fondly. Will you marry a fool like me?

Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! She exclaimed and surged forward for a kiss wet with her tears of joy.

I love you so much. Never doubt that. He had whispered in the space between them. And it was true. He loved her. What was there not to love about her? She was very easy to love. She was one of the most lovable person he had met. He was lucky to have met her. There was so much he loved about her.

What he loved the most about her was how her nose would scrunch up when she laughed at his stupid jokes.

What left him mesmerized was how she could be so selflessly kind, how she took care of him and knew exactly what he needed before he even knew it himself. She was beautiful inside and out. She was too good to be true. He couldn't believe she could come to accept and love him as she did. He couldn't believe they could end up here the first time they met.

What caught his eye when he first met her through a friend was the little mole amidst of her right lower eyelashes. Reminding him of someone else.

What made him stay was the fact that the more time he spent with her the more similarities he found her sharing with someone she shouldn't.

That should have been a reason enough to stop seeing her but he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop touching her, imagining it was another's soft skin. He couldn't stop kissing her lips while wishing it belonged to someone else. He couldn't stop loving another person through her.

That was the real reason he kept her a secret for so long. This thing, he was doing, was not right. It wasn't fair to her. It was wrong. But he couldn't stop. Because in a fleeting moment, when she was smiling the smile that was so painfully familiar, he could pretend he was touching the person he yearned for. Who he had yearned for as long as he remembered. It was selfish. It wasn't right lying to everyone. He was lying even to himself. It was wrong. And someday he would pay for it.

As time passed by and they started to see each other more often, he got confused who he was seeing. The line between her and his secret was getting blurry. He couldn't pinpoint which was characteristic of her. He would bring her to her favorite restaurant, only to realize his mistake later. It wasn't her favorite restaurant, it never was.
It never was her.

By a miracle, he after a while he started noticing her, for who she was. He started to feel fond of her. And slowly but surely his feelings grew stronger and deeper. And it was perfect. It really was.

So what if she still reminded him of someone.
So what if he still felt his heart tug in another direction.
So what if there will always be a special spot for another in his heart.

She was the one that owned most of his heart right now. She was too good for him. And she will never hurt him as he would never intentionally hurt her. She was the one he was married to.

Jackson was brought out of his thoughts as she stirred in her sleep. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up to him.
"Hey, you…" her voice was still laced with sleep. Her eyes were filled to the rim with love.

"Morning" Jackson whispered before leaning down to capture her lips in a loving kiss.

Everyone had secrets. And he will carry his till the grave.

-------------------------------------------

Mark fluttered his eyes open, awoken by the beeping sound of a machine. As soon as he could squint his eyes slightly open, he was welcomed by a blinding light. The sound of the beeping quickened. He could feel the familiar pain all over his body, which was now fortunately a little softer. Mark just wanted to squeeze his eyes shut and fall back to the painless sleep again but something told him to stay awake.

After he blinked a couple of times his eyes got used to the brightness and he could see that he was in a white room, on a bed near a window. He was alone in the room, connected to a heart monitor and an IV drip. He must be in a hospital. Where he didn't know but wasn't bothered by it.

Mark breathed out shakily and tried to ignore the pain. This was the first in a long time that he felt rested. He stretched his sore muscles out minding the IV drip, which was a mistake as every movement hurt. He turned his head to his side. There on the bedside table next to his head, was a banquet of flowers.

As he was wondering about the origin of the flowers, a doctor entered the room and was elated to see that he was up. After she made sure he didn't suffer from any memory loss and his cognitive function was still intact, she explained to him how he had been unconscious for almost 2 days due to the loss of blood. There was a gaping wound on his head and he suffered from a severe internal beading, at the time he was admitted to the hospital. He was fortunate to have woken up. The more time he spent unconscious, the higher the risk was of becoming comatose. In addition, there weren't any severe damages on vital organs. He just got deeply bruised and sustained a mild sprain on the left wrist. The doctors had done multiple blood transfusion while he was unconscious and in critical state, so now his only job was to stay hydrated, take prescription painkillers and rest. However, he will have to stay in the hospital for one more day so his condition could be monitored. If everything was normal and no complications arise, he would be free to leave the hospital. But stay in the town to have a control check up after a period of time.

He didn't know what to feel. He mostly felt empty. His memory of the accident was a bit blurry but the doctor had explained that it was normal. It would come back later, though some people will never regain their memory of a traumatic incident. He guessed he was extremely lucky all things considered. He was lucky to still be alive.

After the doctor's tedious examinations, he was free for the rest of the day.
As expected, he got bored rather quick after a while of lying on the hospital bed and staring at the white ceiling. He hopped down from the bed - the painkillers were doing wonders- and went to the bathroom attached to his room to examine himself from the mirror. He could only grimace.

He looked absolutely hideous. His head was bandaged up, his face was covered with bruises of varying sizes and half of his face was still swollen and scratched up. His right cheek was missing at least a few layers of skin. On the bright side it had started to dry up at the periphery and form yellowy crust around the edges of the raw wound but the center was still bloodily moist. He also sported a black-eye on the right that was almost swollen shut. Thank god his left was in slightly better condition. His eyes got caught in something purplish peaking out from the collar of his hospital gown and decided to pull the whole gown over his head. The sight of his body wasn't any prettier. The bruises traveled down to cover his whole body. Some parts were darker, some where bilirubin yellow and some were sickly green. He looked like a canvas of black and blue flowers. He was trampled alright. He was trampled good. He couldn't even recognize himself from his reflection. He was glad there were no one he knew here to see his condition. His appearance would only worry them in vain. It looked worse than it felt really.

After getting sick and tired of his monstrous reflection, he decided that he deserved some chocolate after surviving a bus accident alive. He walked out of his room to the corridor with some coins in his hand and wandered around looking for a cafeteria.

He hated hospitals. Hated the smell of sterilization. Hated how everything was white and cold.
All the rooms looked exactly the same. The corridors also, which didn't really help him with his search for the cafeteria. Finally, after what felt like forever he could see his prize at the end of the corridor on the second floor.

He walked inside the cafeteria with a sense of accomplishment, ready to indulge in something sweet. There wasn't much of a variety, as expected from the small town hospital. After contemplating his options for a small eternity -he never was good with decisions-  he decided to go with a cinnamon bun instead of the originally planned chocolate. He paid for his bun and was about to turn around to search for a free table, when he accidentally stumbled on a firm chest, making the person spill half of his coffee on the floor.

" watch where you are going…" The person started irritatingly but halted mid-speech as Mark looked up an apology on the tip of his tongue and their eyes met.

There was something really familiar about the stunned man standing in front of Mark. But Mark couldn't really place where they would have met. Mark took a small step back to create some distance between them and handed the man some napkins.

"I'm so sorry, did it burn you? Can I buy you another coffee?"

The sound of Mark's raspy unused voice, seemed to knock the stranger out of his trance, instead, his face went neutral as he took the napkins from Mark to dry his hands with. To be honest he looked intimidating with his bigger build and intense eyes. The man had a strong presence. If he wanted trouble Mark wasn't sure if he could hold his ground against the man, even though Mark was nowhere near weak himself.

"No need, it's fine."

The answer was assuring, but the way the man furrowed his eyebrows as he replied made Mark feel uneasy about the situation. Mark wasn't one to shy away from difficult situations. He wasn't the skittish type. However, right now, he wasn't in his best shape so instead of the fight, he chose the flight mode.

With a small polite smile that hurt his sore face, Mark nodded and turned towards the exit thinking it was safer eating in his own room so he wouldn't annoy the stranger with his presence any further. Though he didn't have time to walk very far before the man's voice stopped him.

"The least you could do is to sit down and keep me company, don't you think?"

Mark felt wary. Why would the man want to prolong the situation? Even though he wanted to escape the situation at all cost, the more polite side of him made him turn around and walk towards an empty table. He did just knock the coffee on the poor man. And it was the hospital cafeteria, he wouldn't dare beat Mark to a curb in a public place, right? And if he did, at least Mark was already inside the hospital. 

The man followed Mark and sat down opposite of him. Mark waited patiently but the stranger seemed too busy dissecting his face with his eyes. Mark decided to start eating his cinnamon bun, when it was obvious the man made no effort to start a conversation. Soon though, Mark grew impatient under the scrutinization. He never was fond of being the center of attention, especially with someone he didn't know. On top of that, he knew he looked like he had recently been mauled by a bear. The man made him feel very self-conscious with all the ogling. He was very much aware of his grotesque appearance without the penetrating stare traveling all over his face, thank you very much. 

"So are you visiting?" Mark forced out, feeling the need to escape the inspection.

"Yes."

"Someone close?"

"Hopefully in the future."

Mark drew his eyebrows together in confusion but decided to drop it. He didn't want to pry and the man didn't make any effort to elaborate his answer. Judging from the tone the man used, it was clear that it was the end of that subject. So instead of maintaining the conversation, Mark continued to nibble on his bun.

"What are you doing here?"

Mark was in the middle of taking a bite when the man asked the question. Mark looked down at his hospital gown and back up at the man, an eyebrow quirked up as he stated the obvious "I'm a patient here?"

"No, what I meant was what are you doing here in this small town? You don't look like you are from around the area"

"Oh, I'm traveling"

"Traveling? Where are you traveling to?"

"To be honest I'm not sure"

The man gave Mark a questioning look so he tried to explain "I guess it's more of a journey to find myself sort of thing?"

The man nodded in understanding. "Actually I'm on one of those myself."

"What are the chances" Mark mused as he finished the rest of his bun. He felt curious about the reason behind the man's journey. But since he didn't want to reveal his own reasons, he couldn't ask. If the man was even honest.

"So what are your plans for now?"

"If I'm lucky enough, I'll get released tomorrow and then I go where my feet take me"

The man was looking at Mark with an unreadable expression on his face. There was something in the man's eyes that was unsettling. The man's gaze then fell down on Mark's empty plate and Mark's fumbling fingers with a thoughtful expression on his face. Suddenly as if he just decided on something, he reached inside his black leather jacket and fetched out a pen. The man started scribbling down something on one of the napkins Mark had handed him.

Mark feeling quite confused, tried to peek at what the man was scribbling but couldn't since the man blocked his view with the other hand that was not writing. Feeling left out, Mark wondered if this was a discrete way of hinting that the man wanted to be left alone.

"What's your name?" The man's deep voice interrupted Mark's train thoughts.

"Mark"

"Well Mark, I guess I'll see you around," The man retorted a bit teasingly whilst handing Mark the napkin. Their fingers brushed, making Mark jerk his hand back as if burned. With that the man stood up, spared Mark a hint of a smirk before he confidently walked out of the cafeteria, leaving Mark alone on the table dumbfounded.

Mark had no slightest clue about what just happened. The guy was cocky and overconfident with his pierced ears and a dangerous air around him. Mark didn't have enough brain power to process this, if it even was something worth processing over. Probably not. Mark felt so astonished by the whole situation, he even forgot to ask for the man's name.

He looked down at the small scribble on the napkin in his hand.

“If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there” 
                                                                        ― George Harrison

Under that, there was a phone number and a name.

Im Jaebum.

That night Mark dreamed of twin moles and warm arms catching him. He dreamed of assuring voices and feeling safe. He dreamed of flying.

For the first time since forever, Mark's dreams didn't consist of Jackson.