Dark. 

Dirty. 

Trashy.  

Those three words were used synonymously to describe him. 

Hakyeon swirled his warm cup of coffee as he took a slow sip and stared out the window of their dorm. Today was another day packed with tight schedules.  

His children hadn't woken up yet. It was almost 5am, and he was the only one stirring in the household.  

Hakyeon wasn't normally an early riser. His profession forced him to become one. And days when he felt stress was inevitable, he'd get up earlier than everyone so he could enjoy a few hours of alone time. Moments when he could gather his scrambling thoughts, were few and far between.  

He didn't know why his thoughts were going in a negative direction this morning.  

Hakyeon bit his lip. His dark brown pupils stared into the frothy coffee in his hands. He  had been sipping leisurely when it's color brought to mind memories and comments he didn't need. 

His hands flexed. Last night at another company dinner, a new female staffer had given him lecherous glances and kept speaking to him a little too casually, as if he were her best friend.  

He wasn't easy, and although his body was fit and the pants the fashion team gave him were a little too tight, none of that was invitation to indicate that he was easy or willing.  

Hakyeon gave an ironic smile. It was always about his skin color.  

There were times when people assumed he was a great dancer, without prior knowledge of his profession. "Oh I bet you do.." With a tone he found made his skin crawl, usually occupied when he stated that he could dance very well. When he displayed his fluid dance, remarks of its sensuality were given, with tones as though he was low and dirty.  

Even when he could do something well, it was spun in a negative light.  

He wasn't being arrogant when he complimented himself. The sinking feeling at these comments that seared his soul had to be washed away by driving it home to others that he worked hard. He had pride in his skills, and life up to 27 years of people treating him badly from the start, made him vocal in his talents and all that he could do well. 

If he wanted praise, he'd have to give it to himself. People didn't look carefully at dark, small boys with cute soft dispositions.  

His eyes had to sharpen, his jaw turn upwards and face toward the sky instead of looking down. His hands had to steer and not follow. His words had to speak for 5 and with great eloquence.  

It had not been easy to become VIXX's leader. Although, he had declared he was in name, he had to be so in body and soul.  

At age 26, it was easier now. A bit. When he was so young and he had to trade his excessive sense of humor and laughter for a more measured and charismatic air, that had been challenging.  

Hakyeon shook his head and shifted in his seat to draw his legs up. He could hear the birds singing. It was a fainting twittering noise and he couldn't remember the last time he heard such a sound. 

It was peaceful and calming. 

His flashbacks to a younger him mediating so many fights and differences of opinion, while feeling so inadequate and being challenged by the maknae of the group who had more authority than he could muster.  

It was sometimes a dream that didn't seem real. Hurt, sleepless nights with worrying thoughts, crying himself to sleep had all chiseled him into a man who held his head high and represented his kids with pride and commanded them with one hand. People whispered about his arrogance when he spoke, and some looked at him disbelievingly. He had decided gaining respect was more important than showing his kind skin on the outside.  

It was the only way he could part waves.  

People didn't make way for others, you had to work for it.. Especially for him.  

Despite all these thoughts, a smile crept up to his lips. It was in his nature not to take it to heart as best as he could. He had thicker skin because of the life he lived from a child. Young children at school always making fun of him for his skin tone. As if he could change that. It was something that bounced back to him without end for his entire life. At that point, things like that are accepted. That is why he was such a playful, self-motivating person.  

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs made Hakyeon blinked.  

It was Leo. 

The dark haired, cat-like featured, tall vocalist with the pensive eyes blinked slowly at his presence. A soft, but more loose version of his voice than on broadcasts, sounded, drifting into Hakyeon's ears. 

 "You're awake. I was heading to the bathroom and I thought I saw a light down here." 

"Mm. I didn't want to wake you guys." A natural smile lit up Hakeyon's features.  

"We have an early schedule today. It might be a good idea to wake Ken and Ravi." They were the hardest to rouse from sleep. Ken was always late no matter what time you woke him and Ravi was stubborn, climbing back to bed and avoiding showering.  

"I know." Hakeyon pushed the chair adjacent to him back, gesturing for Taekwoon to sit down. "I wanted to let them sleep a little longer. Some of them stayed up playing games last night." 

Jung Taekwoon slid into the seat with ease, automatically drawn to the smell of coffee beans in Hakyeon's cup.  

Hakyeon was quicker. He leapt from his seat, taking his cup to the other side of the table. Shaking one finger with a 'tsking' motion, he pointed with his head at the coffee maker in the inner kitchen. "I made a whole pot. I figured you'd try to take mine." Hakyeon's nose scrunched cutely as his lips drew together in a playfully disapproving manner.  

Taekwoon rose like an old man. Hakyeon raised his finger. "No, I'm up. It's alright." 

The high-noted vocalist slumped his shoulders down and his eyes which said more than his lips, spoke gratefully.  

Hakyeon didn't even need his kids to speak to read their minds. Leo had been a learning curve out of the whole, but now he could predict his same-age friend's thoughts so clearly.  

It was given when you spent so much time with one another that he should be able to pick up on what their moods were and whether they were feeling down or nervous about something. 

Taekwoon pursed his lips and turned away like he didn't care. But he glanced back for a moment to watch Hakyeon's back as he poured another cup of coffee and stirred sugar.  

It was a warm back. A mother's back, it might be said, even though he wouldn't necessarily say it. He could understand how the sentiment fit.  

"So why are you up, Leo." Hakeyon spoke moving back to the breakfast table, setting the finished product in front of Taekwoon. 

Leo took a gentle sip and savored the taste of the heady aroma. He swished the liquid around in his mouth, waking his senses up bit by bit. He didn't reply for some time. 

Hakyeon didn't seem rushed for an answer. He was glancing behind him because he thought another of his baby birds might have roused.  

Nope. 

"My eyes opened." Taekwoon replied at last. 

Although, this was all he said. Hakyeon heard an entire story. Leo had had a good sleep last night (he remembered he had gone to bed early) and was feeling well rested, so this morning his eyes opened feeling refreshed and he couldn't go back to sleep if he wanted to. 

Feeling well rested was a rarity for people in their profession, but it was one of those good days.  

"What’s your schedule today?"  

Hakyeon mused, his eyes trying to recall the extent of it all. "Basically, I don't get done until 10pm tonight. We have separate schedules today. Oh, wait. Except this morning. I'll leave with all of you, but we'll all return at different times."  

Leo blinked. That sounded about right. "What do I have after the morning shoot we're going to?" 

"Your audition for the variety singing show. It starts around 9:30-ish." Hakyeon easily pulled up his mental calendar for Taekwoon's day.  

Taekwoon's eyes did that warm flicker again. It was interrupted by soft footsteps and a voice drunk from sleep calling out "N-hyung?" Questioningly.  

Hakyeon who was leaning his chin on the cold table, felt his body move in response to the voice. He straightened up somewhat and was more alert. "I'm here." He said gently.  

It was Hongbin.