I awoke to a silent, dark room. Seulgi had gone out, probably to the arcade she mentioned earlier. Beyond the walls of my room, I could hear people running back and forth shouting their celebration for the beginning of a new year. I saw through the dark that Seulgi's walls were fully strung with pictures of friends and family.

The darkness outside told me that I had been asleep for a few hours.

I my desk lamp and opened my planner to finish organizing my first week. The sound of a key inserted into the door's lock took my attention away from my planner and I perked up at the door. My sight was met with a sweaty Seulgi looking exhausted yet lively, her orientation t-shirt disheveled and ponytail now loose at her neck.

"Good morning," she panted, cracking a smile that I returned.

"Did you have fun out there?" I asked.

Her eyes lit up. "Dude, the dance team had a dance-off at the orientation concert! I went up against some of the members and it was super fun. I even got scouted! A City Musiq scout was passing through the main square and saw me on stage."

She held up the business card to prove it, beaming.

My eyebrows raised in surprise. "That's great news! Congratulations, Seulgi."

"Thanks! The arcade was super fun too. But I've gotta take a shower. I probably stink," she laughed.

I held my fingers to my nose and frowned jokingly. "You smell like raw fish."

Seulgi guffawed as she grabbed her towel and shower caddy. She left the room and again, I sat in silence for a minute. Come to think of it, I should probably shower too. I set out fresh pajamas on my bed and took my toiletries with me.

We showered in the communal bathroom, and the showers were all running at the same time, luckily there was still hot water for me. It felt refreshing after the eventful day. I probably stood there under the running water for longer than I should have, but finished up quickly.

I squeaked down the hallway toward my room in my flip flops and turned the doorknob.

I heard a yelp and Seulgi shout, "Wait! Not yet."

My movement paused.

"Okay, you can come in now," said Seulgi through the door.

I pushed passed the door slowly. Seulgi's hair and body were wrapped up in towels, her shoulders bare. I quickly moved toward my bed and wiped off the water on my skin that was now cold from the air, careful to not expose myself to Seulgi.

We toweled off in silence, I was extremely aware of Seulgi's proximity to me. Her bare body steaming from the shower. Seulgi finished quickly and plopped onto her bed with a book.

I stood in front of my full-length mirror and examined the little bits of acne that had shown on my face. The stress from starting school again getting to me.

I held up the towel on my head with my other hand- Wait, what was... that? From my peripheral in the mirror, I saw Seulgi shift on the bed. I observed her for a few moments. I saw Seulgi's eyes flicker toward me a couple times. Her chest rising and falling rapidly.

Could it... be?

My grip on the towel accidentally loosened as my mind went elsewhere and it pooled itself around my feet. Seulgi let out the slightest gasp. I quickly bent down and picked up the cloth.

Turning myself, my gaze met Seulgi's directly. Her eyes widened in shock and she fumbled with her book to block her face from me.

"Excuse me," I murmured.

Looking into the mirror, I dried my hair rougly with my towel, still bare. I saw her shift ever so slightly on the bed, and from the corner of my eye, I saw her cross her legs.

The thumping in my chest got louder, if that was possible.

But, she's probably not even gay... I thought. However, I felt the air, thick and heavy. Weighing on both of us.

My hand brushed away some stray droplets of water running down my neck. She wasn't looking at me, but I somehow knew she felt every movement I made. Her grip on the book so tight her knuckles were turning white. She'd been on that same page for a while now.

This was terribly out of character for myself. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't get to finish myself earlier today. Maybe it's the fact that Seulgi is practically heaving on her bed after catching a glimpse of my bare body.

I just wanted to feel... wanted.

No. Stop. Irene, stop, I chastised myself.

Throughout my three years in college, I've never had any type of romantic interaction much less a fling. I wasn't out yet. But Seulgi just gave me vibes. Now, my gaydar is nowhere near perfect but for Seulgi it was going off the charts.

I tried to steer the conversation away from my thoughts. "Some barista hit on me earlier."

I watched as Seulgi's grip loosened ever so slightly on her book, still not a page has turned.

"Oh? Was he good looking," she asked, nonchalantly.

"He was very handsome. He's got the pretty boy look going on," I replied.

"Oh," she curtly responded.

There was a beat of silence.

"I'm gay," Seulgi blurted.

I turned to her, now. Eyebrows raised. Heart racing.

"I just- I just wanted you to know. Being my roommate and all," she said. "Don't worry, I don't find you attractive or anything!"

Ouch.

"Uh..." I began.

"Not that you aren't attractive! I just- Well I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me, that's all," she rambled. "You're extremely beautiful I just meant I promise I won't see you in that way. I mean- not that I wouldn't mind if you saw it that way. You know what, I'm trying to focus on school anyway."

It started as a giggle but then it turned into a chuckle. Next thing I know, I'm doubled over in laughter because of how adorable she was trying to explain herself.

"It's okay," I said, wiping away a tear from the corner of my eye from laughing so hard. "It's okay, Seulgi."

She looked at me, embarrassed.

I continued, "Don't worry, I don't think anything less of you."

Should I tell her that I identify the same way? No, it's too early.

I slipped on my pajamas and turned around to look at her. She had put her book down on her nightstand.

With newfound confidence, I took strides next to her bed. She did say she wouldn't mind if I saw it that way while she rambled. That part echoed in my head.

I hovered near her bedside as she stared at me, bewildered.

"What are you-"

"Am I pretty?" I asked.

"What?" she responded, bemused.

"Am I pretty?" I repeated.

"Of course! You're very pretty, and anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get their eyes checked," she quickly said, pointing to her eyes nervously.

I took a deep breath. "Good to know."

I went back under my bed and rummaged around. Seulgi sat up in curiousity to see what I was doing. I turned around with a bottle of expensive wine I got from the store days before Seulgi moved in.

"Wanna have a glass of wine and watch a movie?" I asked.

It was slightly out of character for me to feel so excited about sharing my own personal time with someone. But with Seulgi, I wanted to share with her. She was someone I wanted as a part of my inner circle. So full of life and excitement.

"Sure! What movie should we watch? What's your favorite genre?" Seulgi said, probably glad that the topic of the conversation changed.

"I enjoy most genres, but mostly action and romance. Can you pick tonight? I'm out of ideas."

"No problem! Let me take a look and pick one out!" Seulgi chirped as she pulled her laptop closer to herself.

I grabbed my fuzzy throw blanket from my bed and headed over to her, climbing on to her bed like it was second nature to me.

We watched movie after movie after movie that night. The empty bottle of wine knocked over sideways on the floor as we were too wine-drunk to pick it back up. Her face was red but nothing compared to the heat I felt on mine.

We shared stories about our past and exes, me having none and Seulgi having a few ex-girlfriends.

I ended up probably overstaying my welcome in her bed seeing as I fell asleep right next to her in it. She was warm and lovely to be next to. I hadn't slept next to somebody since my mom weaned me off the bed with her.

Boy, did it make me feel fuzzy inside. Though it was our first day together, I knew this was the first of many great days to come.

I couldn't believe my new roommate was going to be a great friend like Seulgi was. I had only hoped that 

I cuddled her arm as I layed listening to the rhythm of my heartbeat in my ears.

Maybe this was going to be good for me.