Lurking from outside cafe, Kihyun surely looked like a ert or a thief looking for opportunity. But he wasn't. He let his pride went from 100 to 0 when he saw this guy from bookstore he often visited. His thick eyebrows, his pointy nose and sharp jaw, monolid eyes, and plump lips stretched slightly when he smiled that didn't look like a smile at all. Deep and low voice with muscular built, whenever he came to the store, people would stare and whispered to each other. Oblivious of his surrounding, he would just walk to specific shelf. Read some for a while before grabbing it and paid.

Kihyun was a regular visitor. His friendly and sweet smile would make people think he was popular. He was an average actually. He had few close friends and dozens of acquaintances. He could shy away from social life or involved wholeheartedly. Some called him arrogant, some called him anti-social, and some would refer him nerd.

He was just a shy person. He had no other explanation. A proud yet shy person.

Liking someone for a shy person was tormenting. Standing and admiring from far away. Looking away when the other looked. Sad and lonely weekends with hope to see him again next day. Sweet dream of the smile and image of the person you like was the cue to his incapability of making it come true in real life. Hyperventilating, sweating like a steam machine, palpitating like your heart was about to explode inside, the twist and knots inside the stomach when he stood too near, and magical rainbow came out of nowhere inside your heart when you saw his face.

Stalking and lurking was the best option for Kihyun right now.

Or until he read a book to set his goals step by step and documenting it. He could track down his failures, success and learn to develop new methods.

Sounds like a plan.

So he started to write based on the book to achieve his goal. 

Son Hyunwoo was the goal.

Day 1 – Know The Schedules

It went well. I knew what cafes he frequently visited, his favorite spot in the cafe, his favorite menu, and what time he usually came to the cafe.

Pretty much well. Until one of the bookstore employee caught me lurking in the corner of the shelf eyeing Hyunwoo who was reading. I literally ran out of the store without looking back.

I brought my broken dignity and dragged it away in the asphalt—crying over my sanity and the lost possibility to visit the store in the future.

Day 2 – Make Yourself Visible

Great. Making myself visible in front of y hunk is totally my expertise.

I started to come often to the gym Hyunwoo visits regularly. Making myself busy with benches ( almost got myself injured when my hands almost slipped from the grip), back and shoulders machine (he made this damn machine looks easy and turns out it almost killed me), and treadmill (the easiest one and something I could be proud of during my 'gym' time and sucessfully made me imagine having eight-pack abs). I might look like a fool cause I could see his eyes glance at me in confusion.

I was so going to contemplate my life's decision again for buying this stupid book when I came home.

Day 3 – Upgrade Your Self

So, looks does matter huh? I stared blankly in front of the store's large mirror where my not-so-friendly-but-the-only-trusted-friend-I-have friend brought me here and tells me to change a bit. His small head popped up inside the changing room every time I tried the clothes he chose. "Done?" he asked.

"." I jumped our of shock and glared at him, holding the clothes to cover my bare chest. "Out." I shushed him away and he just laughed annoyingly. For him, wearing any kind of clothes is fine. Any clothes would look super expensive and classy on him. That lanky human frog is surely lucky.

We also went to a salon to get my hair done. Bang up-bang down-bang curled-bang split in two, I drew a sigh and looked at the hairstylist desperately. He let out a smile, a professional one. I bet he felt the despair in the air. He squeezed my shoulders gently and rubbed his temple. "This requires desperate measures."

Silently I watched as my hair got done by three people—don't get me wrong. I have a good hair. Average straight jet black hair. I'm sure the hairstylist just try to make such a dramatic statement and gesture using two assistants just to make my hair looked gr—. This looked great.

I traced the shaved side of my head and the hair that covered them. Pulling them up, to the side and let it down. I grinned to the proud hairstylist.

So here comes my sudden new confidence. I walked to the swimming club with hands on my pocket, tight and ripped navy jeans and plaid shirt as outer. I chose the best seat to watch the entire team (especially the sculpted tanned hunk who was flapping his delicious arms on the surface) swam.

Two hours and I got bored. I was thirsty and hungry. And desperately wanted to pee. But I had new rival who sat in group and laughs in high-pitch tone whenever Hyunwoo moved. I should not leave this seat. She looks like a witch that would cast an evil spell whenever I looked away. Engulfed in the thought, I moves closer to the front row. I could see Hyunwoo clearly. And he could see me too. I gulp. Did he remember me when the bookstore staff caught me eyeing on him? Or when I was writhing in pain in the gym after several legs exercises? Yes, . He was looking at my way now. In that flat-unamused look. I should get out of this place. And just when I wanted to move away, my stomach growled loudly.

Once more, I ran out dragging my wounded pride outside. I was sure my face looks like boiled crab now. The thinking had made my stomach growls again furiously.

Stupid stomach!

Day 4 –Enchant Him, Be Friendly

Yeah right.

You think after what happened, I would still try to do those steps?

You damn right. Here I was crouching in front of the door, silently and secretly watching him dancing. He apparently likes to go here, some time on the afternoon, before eight pm. His moves were enchanting and flowing like a water. Fluid, flexible and graceful. I could feel my heart beat faster.

What's happening with me? What's with this obsession?

I haven't got the answer when suddenly someone behind me spoke to me in curious tone, "Can I help you?" His voice wass pretty loud and attracted Hyunwoo who was dancing.

Stuttered, I murmured incoherent words, "U-eh-er—uhh—mm—I-I, " I felt the rush of blood on my face. Panicked, I blurted out, "I'm Kihyun, haha. Merry Christmas," and darted away from the place. Never once I looked behind. I was sure Hyunwoo hadn't seen me. I hope he never sees me.

The coward me.

Day 5 – Set Your Goal

This is horrible.

I slumped on the bed, feeling sorrowful. I was the loser of the world who was still reading how-to-get-closer-to-your-crush book. So far, the result is zero. I bet Hyunwoo knew me as his ert fan slash stalker. The one that found every—wait. It means he saw me, right? He recognized me?

With heart's beating faster, I opened the previous page of the book. So this 'Make Yourself Visible' works? It actually worked? He knew me.

Maybe.

Hmm, it needs some proofs.

Entertained by the thoughts, I made a braver move. This time, I came to the party where he and his friends celebratde their swimming competition. Dressed myself up (with incessant complaints and comments from my human frog friend), we walked in confidence to the party.

I could not find him anywhere so I searched for him, passing through some drunken couples and sloppy nerds. I stopped at the balcony, staring outside and feeling down a bit. He was not anywhere. He might not come?

Then I caught his figure. In the dim light of the pool, sharing kisses with a girl.

Of course.

Who else he would kiss? Not a guy.

I felt a pang of hurt right on the core of my heart.

Stupid Hyunwoo! Stupid book! Stupid me! Indulging my self in fantasy and what I got is cruel reality.

I ran out once again with my wounded pride. And heart. Questioning my sanity while laughing my self over and over again for my absolute foolish crush on a guy named Son Hyunwoo.

Day 6 –Captivate Him

Sure.

I yawned and lazily opened my book in the middle of the park, drenched in sun light and swallowed the fragrance of roses and jasmine that were planted around the park.

The caption annoyed me and I was typing some curse words on my file. It's supposed to be my 10 pages-project. Who wanted to write when all you want to do is just throwing that project in front of the lecturer and said proudly "I am so done with you. Our relationship can not work at all". I smiled by the thought, this scholarship actually tied me with invisible thread. I was fated with this university.

I suddenly felt a shade around me. Annoyingly, I lifted my head up.

"Hey." A voice welcomed my sight, sent a shiver and left a trail of butterflies inside.

Him.

The object of my affection.

Day 7—Hooked and Dates

Hyunwoo is handsome. His broad shoulders and chest are on point. He looked at me in confusion. "There's something on me?"

I sighed. Of course. How could not it be?

I shook my head and kept digging my green tea ice cream. I hate green tea.

Gosh, this was so awkward.

We're trapped here. He and I.

Yes, thanks to my human frog friend and his bulky boyfriend Hoseok. They left me here with him. What should I do?

"You seem ... uncomfortable," Hyunwoo asked in concern.

"Me?" I shook my head. "I'm not—okay yes."

"May I know?" he asked again, with that soft and deep voice. Gosh, I wanted to disappear now. He was so—

"I—"

Epilogue :

Hyunwoo traces the white covered book on his hands. He smiles a bit, remembering about their first impression, their first date and their first kiss.

Yoo Kihyun.

Hyunwoo will forever remember his name as he traces the book for the last time, the diary and the small book of "How To", and put them down on the grave. He removes the withered flowers and replaces the new one. For almost two years and his heart is still mourning for his boyfriend. His sudden death because of  his heart disease has ripped Hyunwoo's heart in pieces. 

It becomes a habit for Hyunwoo to come here everyday after work where he rants about his ty day. He knows Kihyun will listen without judging. He will go home in peace and ready to start a day after a cup of green tea. The flavor that Kihyun hates the most.

Hyunwoo stares at the sky above and bites his lips.

"Starting from today, I may not always be here with you. They're moving me to Jeju Island but I will come to you whenever I can."

It feels like cheating and Hyunwoo is a guy with commitment. He bites his lips to hold his tears. "I will be missing you. I always miss you. I hate to say it but I have to." Hyunwoo draws a heavy breath and closes his eyes, "Goodbye Yoo Kihyun."

Hyunwoo remembers Kihyun in a special way. His clumsiness, his dorky attitude and his bright smile. The way Kihyun showed his affection to him, the way he approached Hyunwoo and how he stuttered when they had their first date.

The confession was so simple. Kihyun was digging his green tea ice cream.

"You seem ... uncomfortable," Hyunwoo asked in concern.

"Me?" he shook his head. "I'm not—okay yes."

"May I know?" Hyunwoo asked again, with soft and deep voice.

"I—" Kihyun stared at me in the eyes and blurted out, "—like you a lot."

A wide smile was formed in Hyunwoo lips. Kihyun's too cute and Hyunwoo couldn't handle this anymore. Hyunwoo chuckled and patted Kihyun head affectionately, "I have been waiting for so long until I felt like going insane. I thought it's only me having this delusional thought that you tried so hard to hit on me. You know how to make a man losing his mind, Yoo Kihyun."

Kihyun smiled cutely. His impeccable smile and those sweet dimples dance in Hyunwoo's mind from that day until now.

Hyunwoo wished Kihyun knew how much Hyunwoo missed him.