All my friends tell me that I should move on...but how is that possible with a man like yourself who dotes on me perfectly; yet throws me under the bus at the same time? I'm lying in an ocean singing your song that you dedicated to me on our 2nd monthsary and no matter how much I listen to other music..that one song always infiltrates my mind like the swat team barging in through a criminals house. Loving you forever can't be wrong no matter how many times my friends say it is because you were the only person who was there for me through it all and helped me with the issues in my life. And even though you're not with me anymore, I can't bring myself to move on from you and just erase you from my mind. Trust me, I have tried but it just kills me inside because no matter how hard I try to forget you and meet other people..I always think about you at the end of the day. There is no remedy for me to forget everything we did together. From the words we said to the laughter we shared...they were all etched into my mind and guess what? They still are. When you finally said you loved me...I was shocked but I remembered that moment and it still feels like it was only yesterday when you confessed your undying love for me in the most cutest and cheesiest way. Your voice is like a melody in my head and I cant stop singing or humming it. It is so beautiful and deadly to me that if I erased it from my mind I would go deaf for a million years. Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine when in reality it's not. You keep telling me to breathe and that I will move on but..I don't see that working for me. Maybe it will work for you but for me? No. I don't understand how you can move on from me and us so quickly. I know we said go meet other people but honestly...when I try that...it goes horribly wrong because I am always thinking of you and your face, your smile, your eyes, your humor, and your cute laughter that never failed to make me smile and even thinking about it makes me giddy inside and soon I start grinning ear to ear like a kid getting their first lollipop. But when I think of those memories and flashbacks of when we were so happy together and when you held me in your arms...my stupid brain remembers thay we aren't together anymore and that kills me inside to the point where I am contemplating to kill myself knowing that you could be touching, laughing, talking, or sleeping with another girl like you did with me. Yet, I know that suicide won't get me anywhere because the pain will always live within me as I watch over you from heaven being happy with another girl. I know the saying goes, "If you love someone..let them go." and you let me go out of pure love and I know I am supposed to do it as well but is it so wrong to be selfish and want to hold you in my arms till you finally escape from my grasp and go with another girl? I just want to hold you for one more night, yet, if I do...I will only long to be in your arms again. The thought still lingers in my mind till now and I know it will in the future. Every time the sun goes down and my room is filled with nothing but darkness, it reminds me of my soul; which is empty without you. The nights are long and cold, harsh and suffocating, and I wisj for your arms to be around me holding me tight, you whispering in my ear telling me it's alright when in reality my world is falling apart but with you...my world is pieced back together since you try your best to glue back the pieces. Some days, I wanna go to your house and ring the doorbell but I know that, that will be the biggest mistake I could have ever made because the minute you open the door and I see your face...the moment I will fall right back into your arms and we will start all over again where I am the girl who takes all the bullets and hits for you and the abuse while you're the one who causes me pleasurable pain. You...are in shorter terms a beautiful nightmare. You always completed me, you still complete me, and I know that in the future you will continue to complete me. Cause even if I find another man...he will never have a part of me that you have. And you know what that is? My heart. He may be able to numb the pain but that will be only temporary because after all...you can never really forget your true love.