‘Nen naui Paradise, neon naui Paradise Paradise, neon naui Paradise Paradise… nun ape pyeolchyejeojin Ocean View, geogie eoullineun Fashion look…’

Jinyoung’s phone started to ring in the middle of the night. He slowly opened his eyes, just to meet darkness. He reached out his arms, touching lazily the bedsides. He remembered he was on his phone before falling asleep, so it must be somewhere under the blanket.

He loves his ringtone, he is so proud of the outcome of his lyrics, ‘Paradise’ is his favourite song from the album and he’d listen to it forever.

Finally, he has found the phone. The boy let out a sigh, he didn’t even look at the number, but closed his eyes and answered.

‘Mmm…’ he mumbled.

‘Jinyoung… it’s me…’ an almost whispering voice Jinyoung heard.

‘Mark?!’ Jinyoung opened his eyes widely; his whole body was caught in a globe full of worrying feelings. ‘Are you ok?’ He asked loudly.

‘Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’m good.’ Mark rushed his words. Jinyoung took a deep breath in and covered himself with the blanket.

‘Isn’t it late… there… too?’ Jinyoung asked.

‘4AM. Yes…. I’m sorry… I… go back to… sleep…’ Mark started to say, but his voice cracked.

‘Mark… you’re not ok.’ Jinyoung sensed. ‘Look. I’ve been sleeping since 8 PM, so…. I’m here for you… I can’t help you… if you don’t tell me… properly what’s going on…’ Jinyoung explained, trying to sound calm and relaxed, but the truth is…. He misses Mark so much…. He’s gone since three days ago, and Jinyoung begun to have sleeping problems, he started sleeping in Mark’s room, even now he is in the older boy’s room, on his bed, under his blanket. He misses the boy, and now, that he gets to hear his voice for the first time since he left, Jinyoung can’t help it… He feels nervous and his heart is beating chaotically.

‘Jinyoung…. I can’t do it…. I really can’t…’ Mark begun to say, trying to hold himself from crying.

‘Mark… Mark… listen to me. Breathe in…. Breathe out… slowly… slowly…’

Mark let himself being guided by Jinyoung’s voice.

‘Good, good. Now, are you allowed to use your phone?’

‘Yes, I mean… we finished early… so now I’m in my room…’ Mark answered.

‘Good. How many days until your return?’ Jinyoung’s voice is calm and warm.

‘Three… or four… we still don’t know.’

‘Perfect. It’s not a month, isn’t it?’ Jinyoung tried to make Mark laugh.

‘No…’ Even if the younger boy can’t see his friend, he’s sure that on his lips is forming a smile.

‘Perfect. Did you eat?’ Jinyoung asked.

‘Yup. A lot.’

‘Really? That’s good. I’m glad.’

‘Is Coco in your room?’ Mark asked.

‘Well….’ Jinyoung smiled widely.

‘Welll… what is it?’

‘I’m not in my room.’ Jinyoung whispered. As he was waiting for an answer, he grabbed one of Mark’s pillows and embraced it.

‘Jackson’s? He’s there?’ Mark said, being somehow pissed off.

‘Maark… com’on… I’m in… your room.’ Jinyoung confessed.

‘Are you serious…? Why?’ Mark is smiling so widely and he is now hugging his blanket.

‘I miss you, you know…’ Jinyoung whispered, then he hid his face under the pillow he was hugging.

‘Today…. I’ve found your sweater in my luggage.’ Mark confessed.

‘Oh…. Ooh…. I…. well… hmm…. The... blue one, right?’ Jinyoung stammered.

Mark started to chuckle at Jinyoung’s words.

‘Of course. You put it there and you still ask me that? Hahaha…you know… it’s kind of large…’ Mark said, biting his lip, unconsciously.

‘I’ve never seen you wear it… but I’m taller than you, so… it explains.’ Jinyoung teased.

‘I can show you… I am wearing it right now…’

‘Really, why, are you cold?’ Jinyoung asked innocently.

‘Hmm… not really…. But I’ve been missing you, too… and… I’m only wearing this… and my boxers of course…. It smells like you… a lot… but…’

‘But..?’ Jinyoung swallowed.

‘But it isn’t you….’ Mark whispered into the phone.

Silence.

‘Jinyoungie…? Did you fall asleep?’ Mark asked, worried.

‘I miss you… so damn much.’ Jinyoung said in English. Mark squealed.

‘Your English… you should stay away from those bad words, Jinyoungie.’ Mark teased.

‘Sure…’

‘Wait 1 minute, will you?’ Mark rushed in.

‘Oh…ok.’ Jinyoung said, being curious.

Silence again, but from Mark this time. Jinyoung can hear only weird sounds coming from the other side of the phone.

‘Done.’ Mark came back.

‘What have you done?’ Jinyoung asked.

‘You’ll…. See… immediately… I think…*DING DING DING* oh! That should be…. My message.’ Mark smirked.

‘What?! Jesus…’ Jinyoung looked at his screen, he put Mark on speaker and he verified the message. He couldn’t believe his eyes… He has seen the boy so many times, wearing shorts or only boxers, it wasn’t a new thing to his eyes, but… The way he took the photo and the way the sweater makes him look…. Jinyoung is embraced by a huge warm feeling.

He wished he was there, hugging his friend, sneaking his hands inside that sweater… holding Mark’s waist into his arms… They aren’t officially a couple… They didn’t even talk about their actual feelings. They’ve been only hugging, stealing glances, holding hands, and a lot of stolen kisses, on cheeks… on foreheads… on palms… on neck…

The photo is rather innocent in a provocative way. Mark’s face isn’t shown, he took a photo of his body, starting from his lips and chin and neck and finishing with his bare thighs and rose knees. Also Mark’s free hand was resting on the edge of the sweater, grabbing it and holding it up a bit, just to make sure the boxers could be seen, well… a small part of them, being tight on Mark’s pelvis.

Jinyoung swallowed hard and he stared at that photo for at least 2 minutes, until Mark’s voice echoed.

‘Jinyoung? Did you see it?’ Mark said.

The younger boy turned off the speaker mode and took the phone back to his ear while he dragged the pillow back into his arms with the free hand.

‘Yes.’ He answered.

‘And?? Does it look good on me?’ Mark asked, being excited.

‘You did it intentionally, didn’t you?’ Jinyoung seriously answered with a question.

Mark his lips and let out a smirk before answering.

‘What do you mean, Jinyoungie?’ Mark whispered.

‘It was really necessary to photograph your lips… and neck… along with those thighs…and…’ Jinyoung stopped and covered his eyes with his free hand.

‘But does your sweater look good on me?’ Mark asked.

‘Good? You look good…’ Jinyoung confessed.

‘A compliment…. Thank you, thank you…’ Mark said, being obviously nervous. Jinyoung’s confession surprised him a bit.

‘You know…. When you’ll be back… can I sleep in your room…?’ Jinyoung asked.

‘Do you want to change bedrooms?’ Jinyoung laughed sweetly.

‘No. I mean… sleeping with you… in your room.’ Jinyoung almost whispered, as his voice cracked due to him forgetting to breathe at the right time.

‘Jinyoungie… I can’t bear another couple of days away… from you… if you tell me such things…’ Mark answered.

Jinyoung feels how nervousness starts to pill up into his stomach. Such a strong feeling the older boy gives him.

‘Mark… It’s late… you should sleep.’ Jinyoung barely said.

‘Oh… you’re right… I probably should…’ Mark’s sadness is strong into his voice.

‘I’ll be waiting you at the airport.’

‘Don’t forget…I’ll go now… sorry for waking you up…’ Mark replied. He was ready to hang up, but he didn’t want to cut Jinyoung off…. He wanted to hear his friend’s voice all night…. If possible… so he waited a little bit more.

‘Mark…’ Mark’s chest is filled with a strong feeling of expectation.

‘Yes… I don’t want to hang up…’ His words slipped out.

‘I like you.’

‘What?’ Mark uttered.

‘I like you, Mark.’ Jinyoung said again. He’s nervous, biting his lips.

‘Jinyoung… I like you, too… are you okay?’ Mark asked confused.

‘No, Mark… you don’t understand…. I really do…’ Jinyoung whispered. He got up from the bed and went to the window.

‘Explain.’ A part of Mark knows what Jinyoung is talking about, but a part of him wants to be sure he’s not wrong.

‘I don’t know how… I like you… a lot, Mark. I am not saying this just because I miss you, but…. I felt like telling you now… I feel like this since a while ago…’ The younger boy started to say.

‘Are… are you sure, Jinyoung?’

‘Sure?! Of what?!’ Jinyoung tried to keep his voice down…

‘Of your feelings for me.’

‘I am… I thought it was normal… All the things we do… but the way I feel your hug, compared to others’ is different… when I hold your damn hand…. I become nervous, you know?’ Jinyoung closed his eyes and glued his forehead to the cold wall next to the window. He doesn’t know why he’s telling Mark all of these. But he can’t hide his feelings.

‘I like you, too.’ Mark’s voice is shaky.

‘No, you don’t understand, Mark…. I mean you may be used to skinship and it’s all natural to you and...’ Jinyoung was cut off by Mark’s voice.

‘Stop. I feel the same way. And I gave you hints… and I think you did that too.’ Mark said.

Silence. Jinyoung is smiling widely and is trying to understand better the situation, while Mark is a ball full of feelings and his eyes are teary. Of course there is more than friendship between them. If they didn’t get the chance to confess properly, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a strong feeling between them.

‘I wish you were here now…’ Jinyoung whispered.

‘It’s your fault… for confessing on the phone… when I’m so far away…’ Mark teased.

‘I’ll make it up, when you’ll be back.’ Jinyoung uttered.

‘Promise me.’

‘I promise… now go to sleep.’ Jinyoung said, smiling.

‘I can’t wait to see you…’

‘I know… neither do I… take care, Mark…’ Jinyoung whispered into the phone.

‘I will….see you at the airport…’ Mark subtly reminded Jinyoung.

‘I won’t forget. Good night….’

‘Good night, Jinyoungie…’