Small note: There's a flashback that I put between "..." I hope you guys won't get confused on that part :")

Chapter text

There were certain things that Jongin wished extinct. The very first thing was his best friend. And the very second thing was his best friend's boyfriend. And the last thing was their stupid couple hair dye. As if they hadn't looked the same enough. And now they became double annoying.

"So have you lost your ity with your crush yet?" was the first thing Jongin was greeted with when the door opened to reveal Luhan, who had his new hair color.

"I—what?"

"That penguin looking boy," Luhan clicked his tongue, tall skinny body leaning against the narrow doorframe to the equally small flat.

Jongin sputtered a bit at that and squinted at the pink-haired boy suspiciously. "How did you know about him? Sehun would never say a word. Because he just doesn't care. At all. I doubt he even remembered what I said."

Luhan just gave him a smile, which never meant any good.

"Sehun, I swear to God I will shave your stupid hair and I—" Jongin howled, hoping that said motherer could hear him from inside.

"So that's true? That you have a crush on a daddy? I didn't know you're into all that ." Luhan cut him off and smirked his handsome smirk. Jongin wondered why someone with that look of a deer could have a mind of a deer hunter. And Jongin hated it. Luhan's tone was low this time. "You know Sehun would spill everything when he got really high on se—"

"Stop," Jongin groaned. "I don't want to know about others' ual activity like you, you nosey mops. Now let me in, I need to take a shower."

There came Sehun. Droplets of water fell from his damp pink hair onto his shoulders then his upper part, waist wrapped by a tiny towel that hardly covered anything. His face was blank when he regarded Jongin through his emotionless eyes. Jongin just wanted to kick him so bad, for revealing his secret to the most annoying human being.

"Remember you're the guest here, Jonginnie," Sehun snorted, wrapping his arms around Luhan with his chin on the other's shoulder. Could they stop that clingy thing? "We can send you away as soon as we want."

There was nothing Jongin could do but groan in defeat, so he did so. After messing up his hair to show his frustration, he calmed himself down because Yes, he needed them to shelter him. Or else he would have just said  you and raised his middle finger for effect and left his out of this building for the rest of his life.

"I'm bringing fried chicken. So let me in, okay?" He bargained, wriggling the bag of fried chicken before his friends' hungry eyes.

Luhan took the bag with a small squeal of joy before dragging his boyfriend to the living room with the cuddle couch.

When Jongin was taking a smokey hot shower, he heard faintly someone cursed him about how gross and poisonous the chicken was. He was even promised to be doomed in hell once he got out of the bathroom, but Jongin ignored it. He was too busy relishing in the heat of the water running from his scalp to his toes, the scent of shampoo waffing over his nosils, and the tingling warm inside his chest where he had pressed flushed against Kyungsoo.

"I swear to God, Jongin. You should—No, you have to stop your stupid crush on this Kyungsoo guy," Luhan fussed right after Jongin entered the living room. "He cooked the most disgusting fried chicken I've ever tasted. And I tasted your food before, so that says something."

Jongin just rolled his eyes so hard it hurt as he plopped down onto the sofa. Lucky for him that Sehun still kept some of his clothes since he dropped by quite offten before, but they had almost been worn out with tiny holes at some places. God, as if he wasn't poor enough, now he had to spend money on clothes, again.

"So he recognized you?" Sehun asked after taking several sips of Luhan's hand-made bubble tea to get rid of the awful taste from the chicken.

"How could him? And I pretended not to know him either because we had never actually met before. It was just—"

"Oh I forgot," Sehun interrupted him. "It was just you silently watching him from the afar since that day you saw him at the orphanage, how much long? Two years ago. You're pathetic."

They were both laughing now, at Jongin's dumb face and his pining. Why of all people he got these friends?

"I am not pathetic. I'm romantic," Jongin defended himself. "As all I know, all the main characters from drama got the love of their life after decades of silently watching their desired other."

"What's the romance in it?" Luhan leaned towards him to pad him, strongly, on his back, still laughing. "You even pretended not to know him before so he didn't know you're such a erse stalker."

Jongin was not erse. Or a stalker.

...He just often took a walk when he got free time when he was still in his orphanage. Sometimes he dropped by Sehun's because they were best friends since they studied at secondary school together when he still lived with Omoni. Sometimes he went to some flat shops to see if there was something cheap but interesting so he could give those kids he lived with in the orphanage on their birthdays. Sometimes he just went to some dancing club that didn't require membership to be allowed to dance with others.

Until he saw him. A short, skinny, pale, wide-eyed boy trying to take back a baby from a woman's arms, begging her to keep the baby, begging her to let him keep the baby because he was the one that had begged for this baby boy to be born before. And because of that he was the baby's father. Jongin hadn't understood it before, but he did now. 

Jongin remembered his name was Kyungsoo when his mother shouted at him to stop making a scene.

Jongin remembered the way his tears pouring out of his eyes which were dull and swollen and red around the edges when his father held him still when his mother filled in the papers.

And Jongin remembered the brilliant light in those eyes of the baby when the caretaker held out the boy to him to look, and how warm those small, soft fingers wrapped around his finger when Jongin eagerly tried to poke at the pink cheek. Jongin remembered a couple of nights when he held the baby in his arms when he hiccuped and sniffled, the way the boy snuggled his face against Jongin's chest and subsided gradually to sleep. Until one day the shortie Kyungsoo came back. His face lost its color, but his eyes were bright. Jongin realized Kyungsoo and the baby had those same sparkles in their eyes. Kyungsoo took the baby away—took the baby back to where—and to who—he belonged with.

Jongin had been sad, because being apart from something—or someone—was never an easy thing. But he was happy, and somehow alive with a hope that someday he would see them again. Being a sixteen-year-old, Jongin believed that he knew what love was, what love felt like, for the baby that he had been so close with even for only a couple days, and what falling in love felt like for the boy with dark hair and thick eyebrows and heart-shaped lips that he only saw from the afar for a couple times.

Jongin admitted that he watched way too much drama, but he knew for sure that his feelings were ones in reality. Call him a cheesy nerd, but he indeed struck in love at the first sight. He even dedicated himself to believe that that was an undying love. Jongin could be this hilarious, one might see!

And since then, he still came to Sehun's place where he walked in on him and a lanky blonde hair named Luhan making out on the floor, or visited those shops that the owners had gotten so accustomed to him that they often sold things for him half price, or those dancing clubs that had looked forward to having him danced everyday. And every time he went to those places, he blamed his legs for taking other journeys even when they were longer, just so he could go pass by the small house of Do Kyungsoo. He had sneakily got the address via the resister papers of the baby boy before he left.

And one day, Jongin got the chance to bump into Kyungsoo.

Jongin caught the sight of the shorter boy at the supermarket on a Saturday morning. Normally it would be the caretakers taking turn to go to the supermarket to buy groceries for the whole week, but since there was a flu spreading and some of the kids got down with the flu so the need of caretakers staying at the orphanage must be the priority. Jongin at that time was seventeen and be old enough for them to entrust him to buy groceries. Okay, actually he begged them to let him go out to do the buying just so he had chances to pass by Kyungsoo's place or even see him, and they adored Jongin enough to say 'Yes, you can go, but be back soon and don't stop halfway to eat fried chicken'.

Jongin saw Kyungsoo stand outside the supermarket, hands gripping the handlebar of the baby stroller where his son was sleeping in, grocery bags lying haphazardly around his feet on the ground. It seemed like Kyungsoo had dropped them. He looked paler than he already was, and shaky. His eyes were dull and unfocused. Kyungsoo didn't even realize Jongin approach him until he was right in front of him.

"You alright?" Jongin asked, his hands itching to reach out to get a hold of Kyungsoo's trembling body.

Kyungsoo just shook his head—Jongin wasn't sure if that implied he was fine or not. But when one of his hands left the handlebar, he lost his balance. Before Jongin could react, Kyungsoo had fallen onto his , sweat covering his forehead.

Jongin knew what caused these symptoms, because his lated adopted mother had experienced it so many times before. A hypoglycemia attack.

There had to be something, anything. Instead of helping Kyungsoo get on his feet, Jongin began to ransacking the bags. Bingo. A cotton box of fruit juice and a box of cereal.

Jongin poured a small amount of cereal onto his palm and reached out to grab Kyungsoo's chin and forced his mouth to open.

"What are you—" Kyungsoo whined as Jongin pushed the cereal into his mouth.

"Eat it," Jongin urged as he opened the fruit juice box.

Kyungsoo grudgingly crunched the food in his mouth before Jongin put the strap of the juice between his full lips and hurried him to drink. Kyungsoo finished sipping with a scold on his face, thick brows burrowing.

"This combination is horrible," Kyungsoo indicated the cereal and the juice, which Jongin couldn't agree more. His eyes still looked blurry as they regarded Jongin through the lashes. The next five or so minutes was of Kyungsoo just breathing in and out and Jongin kneeling awkwardly besides him.

"Could you catch me a cab?" Kyungsoo spoke up as he rose to his feet with the support of Jongin's arms.

He helped Kyungsoo fold the stroller as the driver helped him put the grocery bags into the backseat. When Kyungsoo got himself with Kyo Jin in his arms into the passenger seat, he mumbled a small 'Thanks' but did not look at Jongin, cheeks flaming red with something he couldn't quite place. Anger? Holy , Jongin hadn't known that forcing Kyungsoo to eat cereal and fruit juice could make the shorter be this upset.

He lived on nerves since that day for months until he saw the job ads on the newspaper. It was a lucky coincidence, really, because Jongin had never been a person fond of reading news much less newspaper.

It just took a few weeks and a lot of tearful goodbyes to the kids and the caretakers before Jongin found himself with all of his few possessions wandering the street purposely until he reached the house that had been so familiar to his eyes.

Jongin smiled to himself before being blind folded by a pair of hands that smelled of smoke and a soft thing like a handkerchief stuffing onto his nose. After that was blankness until he forced his eyes open to find himself lying on the ground in a dark alley with only his yellow brief.

Jongin was now standing at Kyungsoo's threshold and staring into the hall through the open door. He decided that he should knock. But what the point of knocking the open door? After a moment of considering, he leaned over to grab at the doorknob before pulling it to close the door. Now he had an excuse to knock properly.

One. Two. Three.

Okay, maybe he should just barge in. And he did just so.

The misfortune of being robbed was totally forgotten and subsided into a glee of reunion the moment Jongin saw the baby again, sleeping tightly on the bouncer. He had grown up, not so much, but he did look healthier and his hair longer and thicker too. And his cheeks, those squishy cheeks doubtlessly inherited from Kyungsoo, make Jongin's itchy hands desire to touch. And he did just so. Until the warm voice that Jongin had craved in his heart yelled—no, not just yelled—cursed at him. Jongin had never been more sated...

"Earth to Jongin," Luhan snapped his fingers in front of Jongin's face. The tanned boy startled out of his reverie and looked at pink haired couple with with an inane smile.

"I need sleep," he declared, rather still in the haze of his own reverie. "I have to be present early tomorrow."

"It's only noon," Sehun said matter-of- factly.

"So goodbye." Jongin ignored the statement and made his way to the small negligently-furnished bedroom. He looked back abruptly after three long strides with a plea in his eyes. "And please keep your moans down."

Over those next days was Jongin doing his work of a babysitter. It was what he was good at, and that who he was taking care of was Kyo Jin just made it better. And he had excuses to meet Kyungsoo more.

Every morning at the exact seven o'clock Kyung would leave the house, but not before giving Jongin a glare that said 'I'm watching you'. And before that Kyungsoo would even give him money so Jongin could afford to take Kyo Jin to the bakery where he worked if the baby missed his dad more than Jongin could deal with. The amount of money was exactly enough for him to catch a bus, never less or more. And every time they were in the shop, those coworkers of Kyungsoo would either glare or smirk at him, which Jongin still wondered why they had to be that weird.

At lunchtime, Jongin would pick up a note sticking on the fridge door and follow every instruction to cook for Kyo Jin that Kyungsoo had written down. At first Kyo Jin refused the food, but after that he was less picky, or just that he got used to the not-so-good taste. But Jongin would like to believe that his cooking got better.

On the first day at work, Jongin gave himself a permission to rummage Kyungsoo way too small fridge (he was familiar with a much bigger fridge when living at the orphanage) to fix himself something to eat. But before he could decide whether he would cook fried chicken again or just make a simple kimchi ramen which he had mastered, Kyungsoo barged into the house. The already frantic look on his face turned into panicked one once he saw Jongin hold the chicken's wings.

"I swear to God, Kim Jongin," Kyungsoo hissed as his son gleefully ran to him and hugged his leg. "If you ever touch fresh chicken again, I will fire you."

After that was Kyungsoo cooking for both of them, and left the house hastily right after swallowing the last morsel and giving Kyo Jin a kiss on his mushroom hair.

Jongin pondered on getting himself a new phone instead of waiting for the police to catch the robbers, so that Kyungsoo would never have to go all the way back to home in these kinds of situation. But money was another story.

The days after that was Jongin opening the fridge to find a box of food that Kyungsoo had cooked for him, but the notes about what Kyo Jin would eat today still showed up on the fridge door. Kyungsoo would never let Kyo Jin eat food that had been cooked for over two hours.

Kyo Jin was generally a quiet kid, but he would get hyper at some points, which ended up Jongin impersonating heros with table cloth wrapped around his neck and Kyo Jin running after him, laughing like maniac. At other points they would take out all the toys that Kyungsoo stored in a basket and throw them all over the floor, and then Jongin would build up an imaginary family with some squishy toys like a bunny, a penguin and a teddy bear. And then they would grab all the blankets they would find in the house (and there were a lot) and put up a tent. Not long after that was Kyo Jin taking a nap on his arm in the tent instead of in his crib.

At dawn, Kyungsoo would come back home and see the battlefield, and Jongin would be scolded with a pout on his face while Kyo Jin hid his giggles behind his small hands. Kyungsoo would dismiss him after making sure Jongin put everything back to their original order.

Jongin wandered the streets and wondered if Luhan and Sehun would eat dinner with him or would eat each other instead when he caught sight of an old man with sorrow face. He sat inside a small, shabby ice cream shop with an equally shabby sign Soo Man Iscream Shop. Poor the old man, no one would eat ice cream in this weather.

Jongin made his way inside the shop and sat on one of the chairs that creaked once his hit the surface.

The old man swirled from the ice cream display counter and looked at Jongin with a jubilant expression.

"What flavor do you want, son?" His voice was a bit hoarse—perhaps due to eating too much ice cream—but warm in this chilly air.

Jongin scratched his neck bashfully, "Hm, I don't bring any money here," he lied because actually he had no money anywhere at all. "So I just thought I could come in here to make you company."

The old man gave him a look through his glasses that said 'Are you for real?'. The shop was slow and he was just too gloomy to deal with a weird boy. But before he could ask Jongin to depart, some high school students entered the shop, stealing glances at the boy and whispering into each other's ears how good-looking he was. Despite the old age, Soo Man's hearing hadn't lost completely. After that was wave after wave of females, or even some boys, picking their way inside the small shop to buy ice cream.

Being an old man, he couldn't serve the customers really fast while the shop was so crowded. But they seemed not to mind as they were busy glancing—or openly stare—at the boy. Perhaps this boy was a makeki neko.

Jongin saw the old man struggle with work and decided that at least he could do something. He approached the ice cream counter and offered to help the shop owner. The old man was smiling now, nodding as patting his shoulder. Jongin didn't know why but he had the feeling of being watched.

An hour later the old man and Jongin had to say sorry to the customers because they had ran out of ice cream. The old man looked brighten now, and was grinning at Jongin oddly.

"Are you finding a job, son?" The old man asked. "You can work here for me and be paid a commission."

Jongin was surprised. "Really? You mean you are hiring me just like that?"

"So you don't like it?" The old man was frowning now.

Jongin pondered if he should take another part-time job. Considering he had lost all of his saved money, plus he didn't want to count on Sehun too much, he nodded. "I want the job. But—But I can only work at time like today, and I need Saturdays off. Is this alright?"

The old man's eyebrows furrowed a bit, but he relaxed after a sonic moment before nodding. "Alright," he cleared his throat and added. "But tomorrow please wear something with less holes."

"Do you have any ice cream left, Soo Man ahjussi?" Jongin spoke up as they finished cleaning all the ice cream pans and about to close the shop.

"No, I don't, that's why we closed the shop," the man snorted, wiping the last stain on the glass of the counter.

Jongin looked at him suspiciously. "Ahjussi, we all know you still keep some ice cream, your voice is of someone who eat ice cream every night. One of the the caretakers I knew before had this voice after breaking up with her boyfriend."

The man gave up not long after that and now Jongin found himself standing at the front door of Kyungsoo's house, knocking at the wooden surface.

When Kyungsoo opened the door, Jongin couldn't help a hitch in his breath at how the shorter was looking. He was wearing round glasses. They made his doe eyes much wider when he saw Jongin.

"Hi Kyungsoo—" Jongin cleared his throat and added when he saw Kyungsoo narrow his eyes. "—sii."

"What do you want?" Kyungsoo asked, still not showing any sign that he would let Jongin in.

"I just wondered if you wanted to eat some ice cream," Jongin held out the bag with an ice cream box.

Kyungsoo regarded him for a moment before he took the bag, their fingers touching. Kyungsoo's skin was warm.

"Thanks," Kyungsoo said. And closed the door. In his face.

Jongin was bewildered. He knocked again.

"What?" Kyungsoo seemed much annoyed when he opened the door this time.

"With me," Jongin said hastily. "I mean do you want to eat ice cream with me?"

"You moron," said Kyungsoo, rolling his eyes. But he allowed Jongin in nonetheless.

Kyo Jin was sleeping on his bouncer. It was already over ten. There was a laptop on the table coffee. Kyungsoo must have been doing his translation job.

They ended up sitting on the couch with the ice cream box between them, watching Billy Elliot with a shared set of ear buds. Their fingers would brush then and there when they dug their plastic spoons into the box, but none of them seemed to mind. But not that Jongin didn't notice a light pink blush gracing over Kyungsoo's cheeks.

Jongin got back to Sehun's place around midnight, noiselessly and swiftly picking his way to the bedroom before he could be interrogated by his nosey friends about why he got home this late. He would say exactly what he had done, but they would not believe it and make up another whole story.

Even after brushing his teeth, Jongin could still the tase of sweetness on his tongue when he closed his eyes. 

Jongin wondered if life could be more beautiful?