“So, are you coming?” your friend queried after clinging to your arm. You’re in the usual café reviewing for a test tomorrow. Lie. You’ve been just
absentmindedly staring at your notes for half an hour now.

“Bob asked if we’re coming” Bob is a nickname given by Jae to the leader of their band--Sungjin. You shifted your gaze from your notebook to your friend, unconsciously frowning, while she’s giving you a knowingly look “Stop being disappointed because it wasn’t Brian who asked"

“I’m not!” you retorted “Why Bob anyway? Not Jae?” Your friend raised an eyebrow and hissed at you for changing the topic.

Both of you got close to the band after what happened couple of months ago. Things changed. But not really—you just gained new friends,
became closer with Brian as a friend, too. Or that’s what you’ve been trying to tell yourself. But Brian has been really a pain. You couldn’t tell if he really
likes you or he’s just like being himself, sweet and kind. Flirt K as you call him, while others refer him as Young K. You crinkled your nose at that thought.
You’ve never really called him that. Besides, his friends don’t call him that either.

Not to be rude by calling him flirt but he’s a natural flirt. It’s not his intention to do so but his actions are just… You sighed and shook your head to forget all about it.

“What’s really going on? Did you guys fight?”

“No,” you deadpanned “Why would we even fight?”

She just gave you an askance look before shrugging her shoulders. You both turned your head when a familiar song played and you felt
the table vibrate. Jae’s name was displayed on your friend’s phone screen.

“Just go there without me, ‘kay?” you your lower lip before making an excuse “I just really need to review right now”

She raised her brow before leaving you and answering Jae’s call. You went back to your notes only to unconsciously scribble his name. You
hastily scratched it as you recall what happened a month and a half ago after the first phone call.

“But I like you, though” he blurted making your heart halt. The sound around you seemed to dwindle and all you can just hear is your heart beating loud and hard as if it want to get off your chest. You stood still with mouth half-open as you stare at his eyes pierced through yours.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you mustered some courage to speak. You opened your mouth, ready to let your voice out when you heard
someone else’s. Not long enough you see Wonpil’s back in front of you, blocking Brian’s body. You heard Jae screaming his name and Dowoon’s laughter that followed.

“W-what are you doing?”

“I’m hiding because Jae’s gonna kill me”

Brian knit his eyebrows before putting his arm around Wonpil’s neck “Jae!” He exclaimed “I got Wonpil”

You heaved a sigh and next thing you saw, the boys are running and goofing around.

So much for getting confessed to.

Next day, you wondered if what happened was a confession or just another misleading action. You mentally groaned in frustration after hearing
him say “Oh, love you, too” on the mic when someone squealed “Young K, I love you” from the crowd.

They’re not just a band in school but also a local band that’s starting to get some recognition when one of their songs was used in a reality game show. They get invited for gigs and in other schools for school events.

“Are you coming, Y/N?” You snapped back to your senses and faced Sungjin with a questioning look.

“W-where?”

You’re in the cafeteria having lunch with
your friend and the boys with Brian seated beside you, Dowoon on the left and the rest are seated across you.

“I think we need to find Y/N’s mind first.” Jae butted in “Hey, Bri c’mon!” you gazed at him blankly and showed a lopsided smile when your friend pinched Jae and hissed at him.

“You okay?” Brian queried worriedly “Do you want something? Water? Are you not feeling well?”

There he goes again.You plastered a half-smile before shaking your head, saying you’re fine. They were talking about an event they were invited at together with some bands that are also starting to get some recognition and some big-time bands.

“They’re gonna shoot a somewhat teaser for it, too.” Dowoon uttered“ We’re doing it this weekend.”

“They’ll play it on digital billboards and the event will be shown nationwide” Wonpil added.

A week after your discussion in the cafeteria, you heard your friend squealed from the living room.

“Y/N! Get your here real quick!” You dashed from the kitchen to the living room only to see ac ommercial of the teaser that Dowoon was talking about. You felt your cheeksh eat up at the sight of Brian. You feel… you don’t know what you exactly feel but somehow… you know you’re proud. But the last part of their segment was so uncalled for. Hearing his “mwa” when he went near the camera and pursed his lips as if giving a kiss.

You bit your lower lip as you rushed back to the kitchen before your friend notices your tomato cheeks. It’s as if there’s a race going on in your chest. You put a hand on it, trying to calm yourself as you try to even your breathing.

That will be shown on digital billboards? What the--? You massaged your forehead. He’s such a pain. Really. See? How could you trust his I like you when he acts like this? He says I love you back to every girl who screams I love you to him… or them.

That’s normal. They’re getting recognition now. Soon enough they’ll be more known–popular. Your mind asserted making you groan in frustration. “Shut up!”

“W-what?” you saw your friend’s shocked face, hands raised in surrender “I just got here. I didn’t even say something” She passed by you and went straight to the fridge for some water.

You suddenly felt an arm rested on your shoulder as you walk to your class one day. You looked up to only see the sun who always bright up your day. In short, Brian. “I’ll walk you to your class” He’s smiling widely and his eyes sparkle as he laid it on you. It made you think… does his eyes sparkle like this only to you and when he sings?

He turned his head and saw two girls whose eyes are glued on him. He waved at them and made a heart-shape using his fingers which earned suppressed squeals from them.

Probably not. You let out a sigh.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” he winked with his smile still in place. You just nodded and went straight to your seat, not looking back to check if he’s still in front of your classroom’s door.

It’s Friday and Friday means half-day. You stood up and swang your bag to your right shoulder, ready to walk to where your friends are usually at only to find that Brian is waiting.

“You didn’t have to wait for me here. You could’ve just waited fore together with Bob and the others”

“Why is it always Bob?” you gazed at him confused. He’s looking straight ahead and not at you “Bob and the others. Said Bob. Bla bla Bob. Bob here. Bob there”

Is he jealous? You brushed off the thought before you could even ask

“He’s like a brother to me, you know?”

"Brian, Y/N will melt if you won’t stop” hearing Jae’s remark, you moved your head only to see Brian staring at you, chin rested on his hand, elbow on his knee.

You are all seated under the shade of a big tree near the soccer field. You heard Sungjin whistled, Dowoon and Wonpil’s teased but you didn’t bother to look away like you always do. He didn’t move an inch either.

“Get a room!” your friend exclaimed

“Dowoon, you need to cover your eyes they’re eyefuc--ouch”, Jae chuckled. He must’ve been hit by Sungjin or something was thrown at him.

“Why are you staring?” you finally managed to ask.

He continued staring for a whole minute before answering. “I’m thinking about what you said 2 months ago” You raised a brow to query “You said, it’s hard for you to accept or acknowledge someone’s feelings when he’s surrounded by people; when he’s nice to everyone because you don’t know how you are different from them.” You felt your throat starting to dry “And you think that everything I do to you and for you is just normal because this is me. But I said-”

“Brian,” you cut him off and took a gulp from continuing. Is he really gonna talk about this? What happened that day is enough already. Is he planning to put you in distress of feeling confusion and frustration again? “L-let’s not–”

“I like you”

His eyes are darted on yours. His eyes were sparkling yet sincere. His expression was soft. His lips are pinkish, thin and seem soft. You blinked hastily when you realized where your eyes were focused. You gazed back on his eyes and he still has the same expression.

You smiled and chortled. “Yeah. Yeah. I like you, too” you uttered nodding, still chuckling.

His eyebrows furrowed as if he’s trying to decipher you or something. He was about to say something when something suddenly hit your head and you squealed.

“What the?!” You picked up the stress ball that hit you and looked at your friends. “Jae!” You shouted and threw the ball to Jae

“What?!! That wasn’t me! That was Wonpil!” He took the ball and pitched it to Wonpil before running. You heard Wonpil said his apologies before he ran after Jae.

The next days were blur. You don’t know if Brian was mad at you for saying you like him too jokingly or he’s just really busy. You heard they’re making a new song, so they must really be.

You busied yourself scrolling down your twitter feed when you saw his name. He tweeted last night. Why didn’t I see this?

My eyes say—

Why don’t you feel it?

“They’re new song sounded like a happy song. I don’t know, I just really love it already!” Your friend fed you with news

“You heard their new song?”

“Yup! They let me hear them play but they didn’t sing it. Must be a surprise.”

“When?”

“Yesterday. Jae asked me to come”

You swallowed a bitter lump in your throat. Not long enough, you heard someone squeal his name–stage name that no one in your circle actually bothered to call him.

You took a glimpse and looked away. As usual.

Two weeks have passed and you haven’t had a proper conversation with Brian. You didn’t want to bother him, too because they were also practicing for the event. And speaking of which it’s today.

“Hey, wear this” you arched your eyebrows as your friend slipped a glowing bracelet on your wrist.

Five bands played before Brian and others did. They’re gonna sing three songs including the Eyeless which he made for you but you’re not sure about it because he’s always misleading. Besides, he just said he made it at the cafe when you were busy and he didn’t directly say that it was for you.

Brian was wearing a bandana on his head. When it was about to be in the second chorus of the first song, he dropped his bandana, covering his eyes. The crowd squealed and you heard some say “hot” especially when his head was tilted a bit upward with his mouth half-open.

The dome was suffused with defeaning screams when he let his tongue out for a second or two before biting his lower lip. He put his bandana back on his head as he started rapping and making multiple nose scrunches.

Does he even know I’m here? You asked yourself while many girls are busy fangirling over him. He didn’t even bother text me to ask but maybe Bob already told him.

The second song was Eyeless. He took his bandana off and let it hung on his neck. There were a lot of nose scrunches, as usual, and two winks. He even threw hearts again.

You overheard some girls talk about them. The other was so overwhelmed knowing them and asking who they are and some facts about them which the other one answered with legit facts. She seemed to know them already before they even got this recognition.

“Who’s playing the bass? My gosh, he’s so hot!” the former exclaimed

“He’s called Young K”

“More like Flirt K” you muttered under your breath.

Sungjin said the last song they’re gonna sing is their new one. Is this what they have been busy practicing?

Right after Dowoon hit his sticks together thrice, you found Brian staring straight at you. You just realized he made your heart unveil its hidden talent, you never knew your heart could be so talented, beating 3x its normal speed but stopping at the same time. It’s been always like that when it comes to him.

Why why why

Do I stare at the ceiling every night

Because of you
I’m just burning up

You tried to swallow as you also try to breathe calmly. You’re wondering if he’s really looking at you. It’s impossible, right?–Finding you
in this sea of people. But his eyes just won't leave yours. 

I gave you so many hints
So you can notice
But you don’t
Why don’t you know? (oh no)
I really only have you

You couldn’t take your gaze off him as his darted on yours.The only moment that his eyes would leave yours is when he'd look at his fingers running through the neck of the bass or when he'd glance for a little while at his bandmates. The last confession, if you may call it, flashed in your head. He was serious? As if on cue, he
answered your question when he sang.

I’m serious
My eyes say that I like you
Why don’t you feel it?
My face is so obvious

That’s quite familiar, isn’t it? Yes. His tweet after that confession.

Are you gonna keep acting ambiguous?
Just laugh it over?
Is this what
You’re gonna do every day?
Please do something
To my heart that is only growing
(I can’t stop loving you)

You pictured out those moments where you thought he was dropping hints, and smoothly saying some pick-up lines but you brushed them off by
laughing over it or responded a pick-up line in a jokingly way.

His eyes are still pierced to yours as if it’s only the both of you. His shoulder is dancing. His nose, scrunching from time to time as he give
lopsided smiles while singing.

When the song ended, he broke his stare and waved to everyone with the usual big and playful smile. Throwing hearts through his fingers is a
must, too.

When the whole event ended your friend told you to meet with them for an after party together with all of the other bands and staffs. You eyed her hand, she was holding her phone and you’re guessing Jae texted her.

You gave her a half-smile and shook your head. “I’m really tired now. I’ll see the boys tomorrow.” She still insisted but gave up, knowing this time, she couldn’t win over you.

You parted ways after you exited the dome. You kissed each other on the cheeks goodnight before you walked near the street to hail for a cab.

You raised your hand, ready to call for one, when someone took hold of your wrist to put it down.

“Stay”, a familiar voice mumbled beside you.

You felt a tingling sensation. This is familiar. Your heart melt as you remembered how you felt during your first phone call. Stay. One word. Only for you. And only you heard. Despite your heartbeat doubled, your heart still found comfort in his voice.

You grabbed some burgers and soda before walking on the seaside promenade not too far from the dome. You both had some random chit chat. Just like before. Yes, just like before.

He stopped walking so you did, too and faced him with a querying look.“What happened few weeks ago,” he started “I—I just want to—“

“Bri” You cut him off, smiling softly “That already happened twice. Are we gonna make it thrice? It’s never been clear to us. And I don’t really know if there’s something to clarify.” You pressed your lips together, forming a thin line, before letting out a soft breath “Once is enough, Bri. Twice is too much. And I don’t want to go to that phase again; leaving me hanging; keeping my hopes up. I was contented with stealing glances, we became close and somehow… somehow I craved for more. I never wanted to be selfish. I never wanted to ask for more, and I’ll never be. Despite feeling like this, I won’t. That’s why, let’s not go there again. I never applied for this, Younghyun.”

The moon was so bright, enough for you to see his softened expression and the glitter in his eyes, mouth agape, when he heard you say Younghyun. That’s a first. He shifted, reaching for your hand. He caressed the back of it with his thumb softly and carefully. “I’m really glad you wore this” referring to the glowing bracelet. So that’s how he found me. It was a full minute of silence and your eyes were both fixed on your hands.

“I’m sorry” he paused “I never wanted to put you in that situation and I never thought you were having so much of a hard time.” He squeezed your hand lightly “I–I just had doubts, too. Every time I’d look at you it’s either you look away or you’re not looking at all. You seemed to not mind every hint I drop even when I told you I like you–twice. You take everything I do or say as a joke, you always laugh them off. You said it’s because you don’t see how you are different from them. Have you seen me put my arm around other girl’s shoulder? Have you seen me fix my eyes on them as if there’s no one else around? And I’m sure my eyes sparkle every time I lay them on you. And sure, I wave at people, show them finger-hearts but you know why… And despite all that, this–” he put your hand to his chest. You can feel his heartbeat dancing to the same rhythm as yours. “–this belongs to you. Only you.”

He put your hand down, played with it for awhile, not long enough he intertwined his fingers with yours.

“Yeah. Once is enough. Twice is too much.” He tilted his head and gazed at you with his soft eyes “Thrice is time to pay the price. And I’ll pay it” he pulled you to his embrace as you felt his warm lips meet your head “I like you” You felt him tighten his hold of you and said “I’m serious. I like you” before he pressed his lips harder on the top of your head.

--

Special chapters coming: I only loved you once. 

Hi, I would really like to know your thoughts about this story. Please leave a comment. Much love. 💙