{ January, 2016

"Didn't he act a little.. weird? Like in a good way. Maybe charming?" Jisoo smiles broadly, as I shrug my shoulders. "He never let the opportunity go to tease me~" she happily continues, as I again shrug and roll my eyes in annoyance. 

The thing with Jisoo is; she is an amazing person and even though I call her my best friend, we are not. But it took some time to figure that out. It's a long story. Maybe I'll get to that. 

Jisoo likes attention, always had, and it's no secret many boys like her. But she's never the same person. She always adapts. Her whole personality feels so unnatural, it's.. fake. Ugh. One night, on her birthday, other friends were asking if the rumors were true; if she had with a guy she barely new, when just out a relationship, and she had smiled broadly only to reply a proud sounding "yes." And when one of those said friends had said people are calling her , she had laughed. That's all. 

I slowly saw my best friend change, for the worst, and the only thing I wanted to do was protect her. Protect her from that guy and protect her for her own stupidity. 

"He has a girlfriend. Give me a break." I might sound jealous, and if I have to be completely honest with myself I'd have to say I am, a little. Purely for the attention she gains. I don't want to have so many boyfriends and have these ridiculous relationships that are on and off all the time. And I definitely don't want anyone to call me a . Just a little recognition, that's all I'm asking for.. 

"And he's not even speaking of her nicely. You heard it yourself. What jerk talks about his girlfriend like that?" And I mean it. His whole attitude towards his girlfriend disgusts me. He's always going on about what a horrible person she is but the damn kid doesn't do anything besides drinking and gaming either.

"Well.. she isn't really a nice person. So." Is she defending him, really? 

"How do you know? You saw her twice? And that was together with him. Don't tell me you haven't heard how he was speaking to her? I mean, she was mean but he.. ugh." Yes, I will never understand that relationship but to be fair, I don't even want to know. 

But I know she's not going to let this go.. when she gets attention, she will take it. All.

× × ×

"They broke up!" A deep sigh of frustration leaves my lips and I shake my head. "Look!" she continues to smile way too happy for my liking while she pushes her phone in my hands, showing their facebook conversation. 

I really don't want to know. That guy makes my nausious.

"What? You're all buds now as he has to talk to you about relationship problems?" I mumble as I give her the phone back, without giving much thought to what's on the screen. 

"What's your problem?" I already explained to her why I get this feeling with this dude but she doesn't see it. And she believes his words when he says that "the was a real ." I don't buy it. I know his kind. I've seen too many. 

× × ×

I don't know why I am so surprised but I still am. Just earlier Jisoo came over to hang out when she suddenly dropped a "he wants to go on a date." 

We've talked a lot about the guy and about the possibility of her dating him and I, again, just warned her for his behavior. That she should be careful as she was talking about wanting to get a serious relationship to start a family. And she admitted that she's a little hesistant about the guy.

"Well, do you want to go?"

"I.. I don't know. It's just too confusing."

We talk about it a little more, I tell her that if it is what she wants, I'll support her, even if I don't like the guy. "If he makes you happy, I am happy" I hug Jisoo before she leaves home, leaving me with an uneasy feeling. 

× × × 

Today is the day Jisoo has her date - or not. I check up on her and after texting for a bit she says she doesn't want to go and that she has cancelled their plans. 

My mini version inside me did a little jump when I'd read that, but it didn't last long. 

I ask her to come over instead, but she says her mom wants her to be home, because she's out much. Weird. But okay. 

I text her back but no reply came, just around the time their date was suppose to start. Weird! 

I only got a reply later in the evening, saying she fell asleep. I'm pretty pissed in this moment. I am not stupid. What is she thinking? I am hurt, as this isn't the first time she's lying.

I thought we were friends..

I decide not to say anything about it. Not yet.