Title

At first glance, your title interested me even though it was a simple title. My impression got even better when I saw the short summary of your story. I say that your title suits the plot and storyline of your story; in other words, you have a good, simple title, not on top, but just right.

Description / Foreword

First, let's talk about your Foreword. I like how your Foreword is a poem since I barely see some writers make their forewords a poem. The foreword's poem does not reveal any important plot, and it fairly introduces the readers to the basics of the storyline, so kudos for making your foreword good!

The description is okay from a reader's POV. Brief, yet it summarizes (but doesn't reveal any important plot again) the whole story and gives out the basic plot key (which is that a young teacher is haunted by a voice).

Also, I like your technique of not mentioning any character names.

Appearance

The bright and light colors of the poster and the background fits the genre of the story which is Romance and Supernatural. Just by seeing the color of the background and poster of your story, I reckon, from a reader's POV that this story is going to be light; not too much scary supernatural stuff. Also the happy mood of the characters in the poster blends well with the bright colors.

The poster can also be confusing a little bit at first glance; why are there two Baekhyuns? Hopefully this question was answered in the following chapters.

I also like your style of having a small poster in each chapter. I don't see many writers do that.

Although I have problem with the font size of your story up until Chapter 7. It's too small for me and it's hard for me to read it on computer ver. since I have poor eyesight. It's okay on mobile though.

Characters

Character Development is really good (i.e. how Chaeyeon gaind cnfidence throughout the chapter). I like how as every chapter passes by, I get to learn something new from the characters; like how Yoona is afraid of Geckos, Jiyeon's hate for Psychology, etc.

Character traits and behavior are exhibited clearly as well that it's easy for the readers to know each character's behaviors. Also, the character behaviors are very distinct from each other. Perhaps the most evident character development is from Jiyeon, because my first impressio on her is that she is kind, but as the chapters go by, it turns out that she is kind of a bipolar.

This is my character analysis of the story. If I analyzed each character behavior right, then it means that you have sucessfully portrayed the characters as you want them to be.

• Jiyeon - immature, somewhat bipolar, likes to assume things (how he mistook Yoona & Baekhyun's relationship); knowledgeable; narcissist as she admired herself in Chapter 7 and that she is proud as youngest teacher. A lack of empathy as seen in various chapters where she doesn't care about people's feelings. She is manipulative, as seen when she used geckos to threaten Yoona.

• Baekwoon exhibits something like all-knowing. He is also obssessed with Jiyeon for no clear reason. I hope this will be resolved in the future chapters.

• Taeyong seems to be a tsundere, saying that he hates Jiyeon but then helps her (i.e. he easily gave her beverages; vowing to Jiyeon to find the culprit)

• Yoona's character is also well-established. You exhibited her character as being a player good, because it is seen in he actions that she presses Jiyeon into believing that she is interested in Baekhyun. She is also clingy and flirts around.

• I haven't seen much of Baekhyun's character but I can tell that he's lazy and a player (seen in Chapter 11).

Plot

Plot Progression is really good. As I said above, readers get to learn something new from the characters each chapter. A good example of this is how you gradually reveal Jiyeon's resentment for Psychology. This crucial key point cannot be found in the beginning chapters which is good!

It's also worth mentioning that you tend to give out very effective cliffhangers. Usually this technique has been left out by many writers. Your technique is very effective, considering that readers are slowly reeled in into reading all of the chapters.

The storyline has a good standing point. I find no plotholes in your story. The flow of each chapter is okay, because it reveals just the right amount fo key plot points.

Another thing that I love about your techniques in working out your plot is the fake storyline reveals. For example, I was convinced that Baekhyun and Yoona were the antagonists of the story seeing that they're players and Yoona's behavior towards Jiyeon. Then the antagonism swithced to Jiyeon because she manipluated Yoona to the point where I am convinced that she is an anti- hero*. But then I was wrong yet again when they seemed to become sisters (that character development was amazing too!)

The only problem I have is with the cliche opening (It starts with a character in a strange dream, and then wakes up. Plus points if the character is late in something.)

Grammar

For a non-native English speaker, your grammar is really good. Though I see that you have missed quite a few in Chapter 1:

"Today don't use your bicycle." - Don't use your bicycle today.

"...who were busy preparing their classes, photocopyinng, looking through books" - - ...who were busy preparing for their classes, photocopying, and looking through books.

"I ended up being ten minutes late." - I ended up ten minutes late

"...walked up the corridor to another classroom, carrying a pile of exam papers." - ...walked through the corridor to another classrom.

"exam-paper" - exam paper

"...and sat back down in her seat." - sat back down on her seat.

"Everyone bent their head and started." - Everyone bent their heads and started.

"Jiyeon didn't say anything. She just picked up her exam paper." - Jiyeon didn't say anything; she just picked up her exam paper.

"Didn't need to be reminded." - They didn't ned to be reminded.

I've estimated that you have an average of 17 grammatical mistakes in your story as a whole. If you are interested to get your story proofread, please PM me.

Writing Style

To be completely honest, I was awed at the way you managed to equally describe the things around the characters and the characters' emotion. The amount of Showing rather than Telling is also impressive. The sentences were short and easy to follow. Even in the beginning of Chapter 1, I was blown away by your writing style; though I admit that the technical stuff in the story is hard to follow (especially the technical math terms) but okay nonetheless.

Personal Satisfaction

As a person experiencing "Bipolar Disorder", I am glad that I could relate to Jiyeon so much! You really did portray her character well. I'm completely reeled into your story. Can't wait for more chapters >.<

Comments / Advice

Please enlarge the font size Chapters 1 - 6!

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