Penny for your thoughts

I think the best thing humans can do is think. About everything, or anything, or about all nothings. I love how people can get lost in their own thoughts, or how can they drown with their own minds. How people can think of different things at the same time, or think of one thing at all times. I especially love random thoughts, wandering ideas. It fascinates me how in the simpliest thing, you could find something interesting then weave a story to tell a new meaning. I just love-

"A penny for your thoughts?" He flicked my forehead painful enough to knock me off of my internal monologue and to pin me down to the real world. Floating letters became rays of sun, lines of phrases became rows of chairs and tables, shiny ideas became glass windows. Right. I'm in the library. And no, I don't like being interrupted.
"Nah. It's worth tons of golds" I told him and looked back on my empty paper where my magic words should be at. But no, it's clean without a trace of my thoughts.
"Someday, I'd really see the world there" He pointed at my head, "That world you always run out to" And finished by looking at my paper too. He frowned and sighed loudly. Understanding that I took time on strolling on my own world that I wasn't able to give any on writing.
"An hour" He said.
"Huh?"
"You only have an hour to finish that, traveler. Go start" He explained, exasperated and completely tired of always reminding me of my deadlines. I cursed. Of course, trust me to forget.
"A little help would do" I told him as I tried to act cute which I think failed miserably because he gave me a 'what the ' look. I sighed. He's one of the worst friends I have, and I don't even know why I still keep him on my side.
"Nah, if your thoughts are gold. My efforts are." I kicked him in the shin for that. Because he's being a total jerk.
"" I whispered, or at least I pretend to, because I absolutely and purposely said that for him to hear. But he just smirked at me and took a thick book and let his face fall on it.
"Wake me up when you're done. I'm gonna travel on my own too. Dreamland." He looked at me one last time before closing his eyes, and within a second, he entered that world he owns. I smiled and instead of starting to write the essay we would pass in the next hour, I opted for putting my head on the table so that I can look at him closely and watch him travel, even if I can't really see where he'd gone to. 

I was lying when I said I don't know why I keep him by my side. Of course, I know. The simpliest explanation would be the fact that I like him. It took me years to tie all the knots and figure it out. It took me a lot of thinking and rethinking before I was able to summarize everything. This Goddamn man who like to interrupt my thoughts and irritate the hell out of me is the reason I can still find my way back to reality. He doesn't know it, but he's my sanity.

And just like that, I was able to write my essay because my mind just seemed to work peacefully when he's around.

"Penny for your thoughts" I glared at him when he flicked my forehead. I swear one of these days, I'd start to bruise.
"I already told you, you can't afford them" I told him annoyingly but I moved from the sofa to give him some space so he could sit beside me.
"Hey, let's make a bet" He suddenly proposed right after plopping down beside me.
"What?"
"If I fall asleep through this movie, your lunch is on me for the whole month. If you space out and wondered through the movie, you'll give me Eunji's number" He said and I frowned.
"Why would you want her number?" I asked him, my brain starting to do what it is functioned to do and my train of thoughts starting to run. I willed it to stop as I felt sick from my stomach.
"I'd her" Yep, I think I'm experiencing motion sickness. I think I'd pass riding my train.

He fell asleep. I wandered off. We both lost. But I still gave him her number. Why? Because I'm curious. What would happen, and if I would want to know what happened, and what would I feel after knowing. I was never able to satisfy my curiosity.

"penny for your thoughts" He flicked my forehead. I groaned, but didn't said anything. I looked at my workbook and found half doodled with words and found half empty. I should be doing numbers but my thoughts kept on interrupting me.
"Are you okay?" He asked as if I didn't saw him asking Eunji out last week. He asked as if I didn't saw him kiss her on her neck. He asked as if I... Didn't know. Yes, I didn't know. And let's keep our thought there. Because I don't want to know.
"Perfect" I answered and tried focusing back on signs and sine. But I can't seem to rope my thoughts to my pen. God, I didn't know this could be a real disadvantage.
"You seem off these days" He frowned, well, his frowned deepened because I just remembered that frowning is his natural facial expression. Huh.
"You seem happy these days" I tried to tune him out again because I'm ed up, I'd be having my calculus later by two hours and I still haven't finished my assignment. Thank you very much.
"I'm dating" He shrugged and got ready on traveling on his sleep. I let him. And when I know for a fact he's gone back to dreamland, I disregarded my work again and opted on watching him with thoughts flashing mad and heart heavy as gold. 
"Have a safe travel" I whispered before gathering my things and for the first time, I kissed him on his forehead before leaving.

Gold. My thoughts are worth of gold. Because I never want him to know that wherever world I go, I keep on seeing him there.

"A penny for your thoughts?" He greeted me with a flick on the forehead and I sighed at his usual action.
"Go buy me a coffee and maybe I would tell you some" I said and looked out of the window of the coffee shop so as not to regret what I just said.
"Coffee for thoughts. Deal" I heard him say and heard him walk away. I spaced out in the middle of him ordering us something and just went back when he again flicked my forehead. I kicked him on the shin on return.
"What happened?" I asked.
"What happened what?" I looked at him dubiously but he looked utterly confused. I sighed.
"Your dating life. I heard from her" I simply told him and he shrugged as if it is not a big deal. Nothing's ever a big deal for him. Except his lyrics and musics.
"I never liked her" He said a matter of factly and I frowned at him. He sure may look like a bad boy, he can sometimes be an or a jerk, he's handsome as hell too, yes, he's a hot catch. And he knows it. But he was never one for playing, and flirting, or hooking. He's not a playboy. He's a lazy cat who would rather spend his morning on coffees and sleeping, and spend his nights with movies and a lot of music making. He's too lazy for playing with girls. So... "Why'd you date her?"
"I want to prove something" I looked at him waiting for him to continue what he's saying. But it looks like he doesn't have a plan on telling it to me because he just stared back.
"What is it?" I asked.
"The worth of her thoughts" He said and I squinted my eyes on him.
"What'd you mean?"
"Nah, I was kidding" He sighed.
"Min Yoongi"
"I was experimenting. If I could... feel something else. Something..."
"Something?"
"Something I've been feeling lately. And she can't afford my effort. Remember, gold?" I sighed at his explanation because I can't understand a thing but I would definitely analyze it later the day.
"You're not making sense" I told him but he just shrugged again and put his head on the table, getting ready to leave me yet again.
"When did it matter to you?" He said, smiling a bit before closing his eyes and jumping on a train to go to dreamland. And of course I watched him again.
"Yeah... It never did."

"Sit in my class tomorrow" He said, interrupting me from answering my calculus assignment. I glared at him. I can finally concentrate but he kept on bugging me.
"What for?"
"Finals"
"I know, it's your finals. But I fail to see why I must go" I told him and forcedly took my calculator to restart the equation.
"I'm... Paying you gold"
"Huh?"
"Nothing. Just... Just come, okay? I'll leave you to your work now" He said and instead of leaving, he opted for sleeping. Very him. I sighed and went back on my calculus.

"You're not making me sit here just to watch you sleep, right?" I kicked his chair because as soon as we got to his room, he immediately readied himself on sleeling.
"You love watching me sleep, what does it matter?" He mumbled with eyes closed but I can definitely hear the smugness on his tone.
"What?" I looked at him dubiously because I know that he knows I always watch him sleep. He just smirked but didn't answered me anymore. That left me on two choices; watch him sleep and prove him right, or think about him and what he just said. Either way, it's still about him.

I snapped out of my thoughts when he flicked me on me forehead. Before I can glare at him, he had already leaned in too close.
"W-what?" Why did I stutter? Who knows.
"Listen carefully, I'm paying you for your thoughts" before I could ask him what he meant and to make things clear, he had already made his way to the front. Apparently, it's his turn now to present his music. Finally.

I listened to the whole song. Even replayed them again and again inside my head. Each lines burning on my skin. I listened to him sing, or rather, rap. A slow rap which is totally not his style. But it was still his, it was still him. Burning with passion, emotions clear. And for the first time in years, I failed to make sense of any of my thoughts. I failed to knit words together to make a big picture. I just... Stopped thinking. No, my brain stopped thinking. Words backing out at the very far edge and left me with nothing but to listen to him.

"Heart instead of gold" is what I muttered when he came back from the front, everyone's clapping and in awe. Min Yoongi just rapped a love song.
"Yeah, I'm too poor to have a gold" He said and I don't know what to think. So yeah, I didn't speak. And neither did he.
"I want to know what you're thinking" He whispeted later.
"I'm thinking nothing" I whispered back. Trying to tune him out, and think. But all my mind could make up was the lyrics of his song.
"Are you okay?" He asked, worried. He stared at me and for some reason I just stared back at him. Not really thinking anything.
"Please. You're making me worried" He whispered, still staring straight at me.

I want to answer him. I want to say no. Because I'm not okay. I have a lot of questions and my brain is currently betraying me by staying silent.

"I... Was the song... Was it for me?" There were a lot of questions in my head that I grabbed the first thing I can say. He rolled his eyes hearing what I said. The rolled his eyes at me!
"Why else would I ask you to be here? You're smarter than this" He said and lean back on his chair. Satisfied that I'm talking, looking relieved.
"I...Why?"
"I like you, idiot. I might even be in love with you. I don't know." He said it as if it's not a big deal. As if he didn't just shook the hell out of me. Maybe it is not a big deal. Just like how he'd handle Eunji, just like how-
"You're thinking too fast and too hard." He gripped my hand and I pulled away. I saw pain flashed in his eyes but it fade away as soon as it came.
"I... Are we really talking about this in your class?" I need time to think. My feelings for him is deep enough that I am taking his words seriously. And if... Just maybe, his words turn out to be... empty... I don't think I can ever look at him again. He stared at him for a long time and sighed.
"Right. I've waited long, One hour won't hurt" was the last thing he said.

"I don't understand" I said as soon as the last student went out of the room and it's just the two of us left.
"I know. That's why I waited. Waited enough until you're ready. I might have been ty with my calculations though if it's up to your reaction"
"I-"
"I like you alright. I don't know how it happened but I just... Realized it you know. It's not something that sneak up on me. Or something that punched me in the face, okay? It's slow. And I kept on thinking about it. For weeks, for months. Until I was sure that yes, yes. I have feelings for my bestfriend. I have feelings for you"
"How long?" I asked him.
"Starting highschool" He shrugged and I turned my head to look at him dubiously. What? That long? But... But...
"You had girlfriends!" I shrieked.
"Experiments. And hey! You can't expect me to do nothing about it. What would you do when you realized that you're in love with your bestfriend and you absolutely have no chance? You move on. Or atleast you try. And you can see how I failed that" He explained with sad eyes. And my heart just died. He thought he has no chance. He thought I don't like him back. Why? Can't he see how perfect he is? How there's a lot of girls who would gladly replace me by his side?
"Eunji. How about Eunji?" I asked. Still fighting, still being stubborn.
"Experiment." He answered so simply. looking at me like I'm mad to think that he would like other girls besides me.
"Why me?"
"Why not? You've been there all my life. When I think of my music, it's you I who I want to first hear it. When I think of the day, I wonder where you are. Or what you're doing. When I think of the future, you're there. And I just know that even if you're trapped in that mind of yours, I wouldn't mind as long as I can stay by your side watching you." He confessed, becoming out of breathe as he finished. And I stare at him dumbfoundly.

He likes me.
He loves me.
Min Yoongi.
The guy who I'm in love with.
The guy would always interupt my thoughts. Who would always pull me out of my mind. Who would always ground me to reality.
That guy, that Min Yoongi, is in love with me.

"I like you too" I finally blurt it out. And a smile made its way to his lips.
"I know. I know" He said before capturing my lips with his.

The End

A/N: The experiment Yoongi kept on saying is him figuring out his feelings for his bestfriend thru dating other people.