Pray

I don't know where you are now but if you can hear what I'm trying to say, please, give me one last chance.

What I was used to say before with honesty, those sweet and heartful words that we exchanged, now aren't that a background to my desperate pray. I can't deny that I unconsciuoly prayed for you to come back, aloud, making my hopeless scream the only thing that I could hear; I don't mind about what the others say and even if they talk about the same unbearable thing I decided to not believe it. I look at the night sky, with his dark colors, but not enough to match my heart's gloominess. I ask to have just one last chance, what's wrong with this? I don't want to obligatorily accept a sudden future where you're not with me, because the only thought leave me without breath. They tell me things like "resign yourself", "accept the reality", "can't you understand that a died person can't come back anymore?", cruel right? But i decided that I won't pay attention to those voices, because you will surely return to me, right? I keep staring at the sky, meanwhile the memory of our promise remains vivid in my mind, you can't imagine how much I miss those simple moments of pure happiness. I know well that this is just my mere hope, but believe me that I would go even through hell to reach you, because I'm ready for any type of pain but not to lose you. I don't know if you can feel the desperation in my words, I don't know if you are able to understand how much your absence is crumbling me from the inside, wherever you are, please give me a sign. Come back to me, I promise that I will never let you go again and I will keep you in my arms, I will make you forget the word "alone" because what I want the most now is your hand in mine. Your voice still resonates in my ears and starts to mix with this endless pray; If you haven't understand yet for me it's impossible to live without you, so let's go back at that time where we could airily laugh together. The only thought in my mind is you, every day, every night, my own mind refuses to think of anything else; the tears fall plentiful on my face, one after the other, leaving ineradicable furrows on my skin and I'm starting to ask myself if even God is hearing my cry. I still remember the words that you said that day "we will stay together forever", I know they're trivial, simple and expected, but I really believed in them and still now I keep on doing it. God, I beg you, listen to the pitiful request of a frivolus person like me, if you really exsist give me one last shot and I will be able to adjust every single thing, because in this moment the life how is now it's just an atrocious suffering. I miss your genuine laugh, the way your rosy lips extend into a smile and your cheerful eyes that observe me . I miss caressing your soft blonde hair, feeling the inebriating and fresh smell of vanilla shampoo that comes from them and the sensation of extreme quietness when I draw you to myself. I don't even notice but you became so important to condition my entire life. I don't expect you to come back, I know well what happened, but I'm pretending to don't know it, I can't stop hoping despite I'm living in an everlasting pain. It's an impulse left in me, it makes me convinced that you haven't commited suicide and that it was just one of that nightmares from you would wake up as soon as possible. I walk along the sea shore, where the two of us usuallly strolled, but tonight the wind is colder; it's because you're not with me anymore? I sit on the cold sand and look at the sea, hoping that one day we will see again this beautiful landscape together.