They first met on the set of The King of Masked Singer. Well no, not officially the first time. They had met before 3 years back when VIXX came to visit their sunbae and hyung Seo In Guk on the set of Reply 1997, and again at their recording of All For You. They only exchanged pleasantries then; VIXX had just made their debut and she thought that they were just one of the many idol groups that were already in the music industry.

She was surprised when he came knocking on her dressing room door after the competition was over. She had expected that he would have left a while back; she had beaten him in the previous round after all.

“Annyeonghaeseyo, sorry for disturbing. I just wanted to congratulate you. You have an amazing voice!”

“Kamsamida, thank you for your compliments. Your voice is beautiful too, you could have won,” she complimented him back politely.

“No, it’s definitely not at the level as yours; the better singer won. I was just wondering, how do you get such an even tone throughout your range? I always have this trouble with my –“

“High notes.” She finished with him. He looked at her in surprise, and she mentally kicked herself for having spoken too fast.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, no, I am intrigued. Did you studying singing, or was my weakness really so obvious?”

“Oh no, no,” she protested. “I was trained vocally by my mother since young, and she was very technical. That’s probably why I tend to pick out the technicalities first. It’s a bad habit, I’m sorry if I offended you.”

He gave a smile. “I’m not offended. Actually, I really do feel a strain here at times, especially with the high notes.” He gestured to his throat.

“That’s because you are using too much of your high larynx. You tighen too much of your throat and squeeze your larynx. You need to relax more.”

He tested out her theory by belting out a few high notes. He turned back to her, his eyes wide in wonder.

“That was so spot on! Say, will you help me out with my vocals from time to time?”

-----

She thought he was kidding at first. But they met up on their next day off schedule that coincided. He sneaked her into his company building, but was surprised when she seemed to be familiar with the place and the back staircases.

“How did you – “

“I used to meet In Guk-oppa here all the time,” she confessed.

His thought his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. “You mean it wasn’t a rumour? You both are actually dating?”

“Were,” she corrected. “We broke it off last year. Two people at different stages in life,” she shrugged as she said matter-of-factly. “Come on, enough about me. Let’s get to work!”

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, but did not pursue further.

-----

They met up at every non-schedule day they had that coincided. Sometimes it was in one of his company’s practice rooms, other times it was at hers. But his favourite was the stairwell leading to the roof of his company building. It was separate from the main building stairwell, and had enough height for their voices to echo and resonate beautifully.

She taught him how to relax his throat, he taught her how to imitate animal sounds. She taught him how to support his head voice, he taught her how to imitate language accents. She taught him how to have better breath control, he told her jokes and riddles.

She shared about her family in Busan, he talked about his family in Seoul. She shared about her current schedules, and he talked about his. She shared about her mistakes during practice, he talked about often being scolded by Hakyeon. She shared about her hopes for a solo album, he talked about his plan to be an established musical actor.

It was not that either of them was trying very hard to hide their meetups. They often went for coffee or food after their ‘lessons’, and he would walk her back to her apartment that she shared with the rest of Apink. Their activites on their day offs just never came into question by their other group members, and so neither of them offered the information.

Inevitably through their time spent, they grew closer. She enjoyed his company and the way he could turn any mood or situation into a light-hearted and positive note. He appreciated how patient she was with his lame jokes and puns, and how she understood his need to let off energy all the time.

-----

Their first kiss happened at the stairwell to the roof of his company’s building. She had just taught him a new technique, and they were belting out a duet in harmony. Their faces landed up within inches of each other as they ended their last line, both slightly panting and flushed by the emotion and feel of the song.

He leaned in and planted the gentliest of kisses on her slightly opened lips, before quickly pulling back and surveying the damage that he may have done by his rash action. She just looked up shyly at him between her lashes, a hint of a smile on her face.

They did not say anything else after that. But he intertwined his fingers with hers as he walked her home later, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He would have kissed her goodnight again, but he thought of not pushing it.

Whatever ‘it’ was.

-----

The next time they met up, it seemed like everything was back to normal.

But the slight electricity that he felt as she brushed his arm, the shy smiles and twinkling eyes that she gave him, told him that things between them were changing.

And she seemed okay with it.

-----

“Oppa, can I ask you a question?”

She was lying on the floor of his practice room with her head on his stomach, as he propped himself against the wall. It had been nearly 4 months since that first kiss, and it was clear that they were no longer just friends. But they also never made clear what they actually were.

“Hmm?” He asked absentmindedly, as he played with her hair, twirling it around his fingers. They had just finished their lesson, and were just chilling out before she had to leave to make her curfew.

“Did you really write I Don’t Want To Be An Idol for your ex-girlfriend?”

His fingers stilled. It had been so many years ago, he had nearly forgotten.

“I didn’t write it…”

She turned her head upwards to look at him. “But you contributed to it, right?”

He nodded wordlessly. She shifted back to her position again.

“She must have been a very special girl.”

-----

“She was very supportive of you.”

They were walking to her apartment, her hand in his, and he thought that they had moved on from the topic. He was not sure if she expected a response.

“She encouraged me to follow my dreams, yes.”

She nodded in acknowledgement. “How long were you both together?”

“About 3 years.”

“Was she your high school sweetheart?”

“We met in high school, yes.”

There was silence as they walked on, and he felt relieved at the prospect that it was the end of the questioning.

“How did it end?”

-----

It was a phone call, the night before the final day of the MyDol competition.

“Jaehwan? Is everything all right? It’s so late, what is it?”

He choked back his tears and composed himself. It was either his music career or her. The promise of a new experience or the innocence of a familiar life.

He chose.

“I don’t love you anymore.”

-----

They did not meet for the next couple of months. Each time he was free, she was busy with her new album, and each time she managed to squeeze free time, he was away on tour.

When they finally met, they had their lessons and hung out after as per normal. But something felt amiss.

“You have been improving a lot,” she commented as they were walking home. “You might not need lessons anymore.”

His heart pounded. What is she implying?

“But we can still meet up right? Even if there are no more lessons?”

She stopped and smiled as she turned to him. She tiptoed and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Goodnight,” she said simply, before going into her apartment.

He stood there for a few minutes more by himself, feeling her emotional distance in his gut far more starkly than her physical one. His question continued to hang in the air unanswered.

-----

Did In Guk-hyung write Seasons of the Heart for you? He texted her.

I don’t know. She replied.

He had just heard and looked up the lyrics of the song after overhearing a side conversation about his hyung’s newly relased song over dinner. He did not catch what was fully said, but he vaguely recalled it being described as inspired by a recent relationship.

Has he been in another relationship after you broke up? He texted again.

She replied a minute later. 

I don’t think so.

-----

The last time they met was unplanned, at least to him.

She was waiting on the steps to his apartment one night after his musical was over.

“Eunji? Is everything all right?”

She stood up and smiled as she walked towards him.

"I chose." She handed him an envelope before tiptoeing to kiss him gently on the lips.

“I don’t love you anymore.”

-----

Dear Jaehwan-oppa,

I’m sorry to have to drop a bombshell on you like this. But I think both you and I know that this would ultimately come to an end.

You have been an amazing student and have made huge improvements in your singing technique and vocal ability. It was an honour to have been part of your learning journey, and I hope that it has been helpful for you.

I have been watching your vocal performances, and am amazed by how much emotion and soul you put into each one. It is also there that I see that she is still someone you love and care deeply about. I know you are still thinking about the regrets of your choice. I respect that. You chose to break her heart, knowing that it would equally break yours, but without knowing how much it will continue to affect you in the years to come. There is still time to make it up. This is your chance to choose again. 

Thank you for your company and never failing to brighten up my day. Thank you for teaching me to see the lighter side of life and giving me your love. I wish you all the best to your endeavour to be the greatest musical actor there is, and I truly believe that you can.

Thank you for a perfect year.

I love you.

Eunji.

-----

He kept her letter and continued to follow her through the news. He knew when her group released a comeback album and how many music program wins they had. He knew when and where she went on tour, and read the reviews of their sellout concerts. He knew her individual schedule and the competitions and variety shows that she was going to appear on.

He knew that she had shifted to a new apartment. He knew that she reconnected back with In Guk-hyung, and watched their performance at the TVN awards ceremony. He also knew that she was preparing for a solo comeback album soon.

They never met up for lessons or alone again, and only exchanged pleasantries when it was unavoidable at awards ceremonies or music concerts.

But he continued to hope.

Because maybe, just maybe, they could both be given a chance to choose again.