Couple of laughter here and there, another normal morning for two ladies, enjoying the presence of the other.

“Yah! Stop it!” Solar bursts with laughter, squirming away of Moonbyul’s playful actions. She was tickling her and she had tried her very best to get away as soon as possible.

“I don’t wanna!” Moonbyul continued her acts, not giving Solar any chance of escape as she held her tighter and tickled harder, making Solar struggle with more strength involved, series of laughter soon followed, mostly coming from Moonbyul.

A little bit more of their performance and one are likely to get hurt, yet no one minded. Five years, ever since the first day of 1st year in high school, the two have been together, as friends. Like sudden chemistry the moment they met.

Soon enough, Moonbyul retracted her hands away from Solar’s, getting tired of her own accomplishments. With mixture of a chuckle and ragged breaths, she laid down just beside her who was mirroring her same action.

“You’re fun to tease…”

“Shut up… I hate you right now…” Solar panted, a flat smile on her face.

Moonbyul could only chuckle, turning around and grabbing her diary hidden on her drawer in the process. 

“Your diary again, Byul?” well rested and all, Solar turned herself, resting her head with her hands as she looked at her.

“Yep, I’m just gonna write something…”

“I’m amused that it still has spaces for you to write on, knowing that you’ve been using that for the past like what? Four years? Five years?” 

Moonbyul smiled, lifting her pen after writing the last letter. “I know right…” she hid it back in place and flashed a smile towards her best friend. “… wanna go out?”

“Oh, is it a date?”

“Whatever you say, Yeba.” Moonbyul went off with a wink, Solar on the other hand stood with a laugh just like how she would always reply Moonbyul’s greasiness.

A flirtatious friendship as they might say, more than friends but less than lovers. One too oblivious of the other and vise versa. At first, company was enough, followed by friendship that took turn for the better. But all through the passing days, it is impossible to not demand for more.

 <><><>

“What are you planning to do after college, Yongsun?” a cup of coffee in hand at a café, Moonbyul lost in her own question, half expecting that she wouldn’t do what her parents wanted her to do. For so many years, it is unviable to not gain feelings of aftermath. It may have been a phase once, but now Moonbyul was sure, she loves Solar.

“I’m still not sure, but my parent’s decisions are inevitable so I think, there’s a problem to that…” Solar let out a sigh before blowing off the steam on her own cup. “…how about you Byul? Don’t you have a plan yourself?” 

“I do, and believe it or not… I’m thinking of taking you with me.” With the serious look on Moonbyul’s face, Solar swore she felt warm all of a sudden. It was a rare sight to see, Moonbyul was never the serious kind, she would rather have things her way if it means being free from the chain of limits. A subtle attraction per se, a tinge of feeling covers her heart whole. It might’ve been a normal reaction, they were best friends after all, this type of things are normal. But there’s more than it that she’d rather keep locked down rather than to seek only to realize something she couldn’t take responsibility of.

“What are you talking about Byul, you’re making me nervous you know.” Solar laughed it all off, brushing the foreign yet lingering feeling aside. The look on Moonbyul’s eyes is something she understands and don’t, and Moonbyul’s recognizes the same gaze on Solar’s.

“I’m not fooling around… don’t laugh.”

“S-Sorry, it’s just that, it’s kinda funny, don’t you think?” Solar continued her laughing. “Just because we’re best friends, doesn’t mean that I always have to be in with your plans, right?”

“I’m suggesting it, and not just because you’re a friend. You’re important to me, and like you I’m not fond of your parent’s decisions.”

“They’re my parents Byul, if anything happens I’ll handle them, not you. It’s not your job and I’m not your responsibility, ok?” 

“…suit yourself…” Moonbyul sipped on her coffee and Solar did the same. The next moments were filled with silence, but a comfortable one, enjoying each other’s company just like always.

<><><>

“Why not just tell her already unnie? Seriously, the tension between you two is so strong it pushes Wheein and I off of our chairs” 

“If only it’s that easy…” Moonbyul closed her eyes and stretched, Hwasa may be right but things are easier said than done.

“So what? You’re just gonna endure this all?”

“What do you want me to do?! My own turmoil’s going to be the death of me…” Hwasa only stayed quiet, understanding the situation in every aspects, it would be their decision after all.

<><><>

Solar and Wheein sat in a public library, both were studying quite consistently until Wheein broke the silence. Noticing Solar in a state of melancholy, she decided to finally ask.

“Unnie… are you okay?”

Solar was unresponsive for a moment, and when she did her eyes looked into Wheein’s, cluelessness clearly visible. 

“H-Hm? Did you say something, Whee?”

“I asked if you were okay…”

“Y-Yes… I’m okay…” Solar replied in a soft tone.

“Is this because of Moonbyul-unnie?” Wheein asked cautiously, looking straight at Solar’s and flipping pages on her book in a slow manner.

Solar stiffened in place, words stopping in the middle of . What was she supposed to say? To admit? 

“Can’t you just tell her, Solar unnie?”

Solar shifted her gaze to Wheein’s, searching an answer with desperation. “I-I can’t risk it… Wheein. For so many years… Moonbyul and I had the best relationship, our friendship is very important to me…” almost choking on her words, Solar prevented any sign of tremor on her voice.

“But wouldn’t it be better if you two went past over friendship? If you two become lovers, wouldn’t that be great?”

“And what if she doesn’t? The consequences would be unbearable Wheein…” Solar continued her reading, and Wheein did the same realizing that prying furthermore wouldn’t be a good idea.

<><><>

“So that’s it? You’re really leaving?” Hwasa questioned Moonbyul, any time from then Moonbyul would enter the entrance leading to the plane that she’d be taking on to Paris.

“No job suits your taste here?” Wheein seconded.

Moonbyul stared at the monitor filled with flight numbers, her passport and phone in hand. “I’m not going to stay there forever. I’m going back you know, just need a little training there and I’ll be back here for sure.”

“Hm. Anyway, isn’t Solar unnie coming?”

“I texted her, she said she’ll try since there’s a lot of things going on with her father’s company. You know her right?” Wheein and Hwasa looked slowly at Moonbyul whose head slightly down and emotions invalid. 

Solar has no power to oppose her parent’s decision and Moonbyul has no strength to insist her firm. Though having a hard time, Moonbyul waited for a few more minutes expecting at least a glimpse or a goodbye from the dearest person she’ll leave behind. At the back of her head, a promise is made, to declare her feelings to Solar, when she’s mature enough to take up any rejection, brave enough to tell.

The concealed voice has spoken, a signal for those in flight to be going. Moonbyul bid her goodbye, with sad smile for not seeing Solar before she leaves, and a hint of determination for the day she comes back.

<><><>

“You can’t do this to me Dad! It’s not part of what we talked about. I fulfilled my promise, I took over the company, don’t force me to something I don’t want anymore!” tears were now flowing as Solar, with every remorse and anger that she could pent up with, yelled at her father according a news that she didn’t expect that could be done to her.

“You’re going to marry him Solar, whether you like it or not and don’t you dare oppose me! I am your father!”

“Yes you’re my father, that’s why I can’t believe that you can do this kind of thing to me!” in a turn of a heel, Solar walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her in the process. Ignoring the stares and the call of her father as she made her way out of the building, wiping the tears the flowed down continuously.

Gripping the steering wheel tight, she went where her consciousness would take her which was the apartment that both Moonbyul and her lived during their college days. Still monthly paid, it is the only place where Solar would go to whenever things gets harder than she thought, instead of going home that would just make everything worse.

She headed to the bedroom and lied on the bed, not bothering to take of her heels and whatsoever as she just cried her problems out, knowing it’s the only place where no one can hear her. At moments like this, she knew there’s only one person that she needed.

Moon Byul-Yi.

But she’s nowhere near her now, thousands of kilometers away from her. If only she accepted her offer, things could’ve been better.

<><><>

“It may not be the right time to say this, but you look beautiful in a wedding dress Solar unnie…” Wheein asserted, fixing Solar’s hair in between.

“Wow, thanks…” she smiled, staring at the mirror.

Wheein smiled back then turning to Hwasa who’s sitting on the sofa with her phone in hand. “Yah, what are you doing?”

“I’m in a conversation with Byulie unnie… it’s been four years you know, she said she’ll be back this month.” Solar’s ear perked by the mention of Moonbyul’s name, memories and the feeling of melancholy rushing immediately.

“S-She’s going back? Does she even know that I’m getting married?” she asked, trying hard on preventing her voice from any sign of weakness.

Wheein and Hwasa only shared a knowing look. “T-That’s what she said… and yeah, I told her a few weeks back.” Hwasa broke the entry.

“What did she say?”

“S-She told me to congratulate you in her place…”

A low ‘okay’ was heard from Solar, she cleared before smiling, fixing her earrings and so-so.

<><><>

The wedding was more dreadful than Solar expected, marrying a guy she didn’t even like was beyond appalling. 

Making a few excuses here and there, she went out the venue to get some fresh air. The crowd and the congratulatory speeches that she’s getting was too much for her to handle already.

She breathed in the cold breeze and enjoyed the silence that engulfed her the moment she stepped out. It was as peaceful as it gets, until a voice broke the silence.

“Solar…” she knew that voice anywhere, deep yet melodic. A few years of friendship and admiration, it would be impossible to not recognize that voice.

In a swift, she turned her head, and she swore that what she saw is the only great thing that happened that day.

“B-Byul…?!”

Slowly, Moonbyul approached her, the woman in four years became even beautiful than ever. “Hi, Yongsun…” Moonbyul took the moment admiring Solar from head to toe, oblivious of Solar who’s been missing her for so long. “…wow, you look really pretty in that Yeba… I didn’t know you had that in you.” Moonbyul complimented, excitement in her tone.

“Hwasa said you’d be here in a month…” 

“That’s true… but I wanted to surprise you, it’s your wedding day, it would be rude of me as your best friend to not attend your wedding…” Moonbyul grinned, showing that perfect white teeth and that charming smile. 

“O-Oh… of course, this could be a payback to for not at least contacting me all those years…” Solar laughed.

“Yeah… I tried calling you, but…”

“The number you have does not exist anymore… I’m sorry…”

“Come on… it’s your wedding day, no time to be sad, why are you out here anyway?”

“I didn’t want to marry him anyway…” the sudden drop of her mood was evident.

“But why’d you…?”

“It was my father’s…”

Moonbyul could only nod, understanding the situation. She tried hard hiding the disappointment she had, she was too late, four years too late, little did she know that Solar felt the same.

“Don’t you want to go in? We have food inside…” Solar asked, Moonbyul shook her head and smiled.

“I’m good, thanks… uhm, Yongsun?”

“Hm?”

“Our apartment… I left some of my things there when I went to Paris… are they still there?”

“Y-Yes… I still pay for the rent there, I never took out anything…”

“That’s good… I booked a hotel, I’ll be getting my things there, maybe tomorrow then I’m going back to Paris.” Moonbyul leaned on a post, staring at the distance.

“You’re leaving again?” Solar was feeling mixed emotions at the moment.

“I have to, my training hasn’t ended yet…” Solar didn’t know where such confidence and such bold action came from, but the next thing she knew was she was hugging Moonbyul as tight as she could. Moonbyul didn’t know how to react at first but hugged her the next second, thinking maybe Solar really did miss her, they were such good friends after all.

“I missed you so much, Byul. God knows how much I missed you…”

Moonbyul chuckled, “Now, now… I missed you too Yeba…” If this could be the last time that she could see Solar, then so be it. Knowing that Solar was now committed to someone else, even if she could muster up all the courage and confess, she would only make things complicated. For that, she moved away from the hug and pressed a long lingering kiss on Solar’s forehead.

Solar was in trance, she longed for such touch but never had the will to ask for it. She could only enjoy it now while it lasts, fro she knows herself that the moment Moonbyul’s lips moves away, that would be the last.

“I have to go, don’t tell Wheein and Hwasa that I’m here or else I’ll get killed before I get back to Paris.” Moonbyul laughed, with a final smile she waved goodbye, leaving Solar in a state that she didn’t want to feel.

Moonbyul left with a clench in her heart. She was too late.

<><><>

That night, Solar sneaked out from the wedding. Heading towards their apartment, planning to fix Moonbyul’s left over belongings.

From clothes, to her books during their college years. Until to the point where she had to look at the final place where there might be another one of Moonbyul’s possession, the drawer beside their bed.

To her surprise, it was still there.

Moonbyul’s diary.

She knew she wasn’t on the right place to look at it, but curiosity has taken over. Flipping open the pages after pages and reading those that are written, Solar’s world comes crashing down when she found something that sparked her interest, the day when she first saw Moonbyul.

‘I saw someone today at the school gate and she has squishy cheeks and very beautiful too, our eyes even met, I want to befriend someone that cute, I only have Hwasa and Wheein with me.’

‘So her name was Solar, Kim Solar. She has pretty voice, I like her.’

‘We have PE today, and I’ve been teamed together with her, and she’s one of the friendliest and dorkiest person I’ve ever met. I didn’t expect her to be like that, we actually had s much fun.’

‘She’s my friend now, I looked for an apartment somewhere near the school and by coincidence she lived where I rented so then she just asked me to live with her, she’s so nice.’

Solar hurriedly flipped the pages and stopped at another certain message.

‘I like her a lot. She may not know, but I’ll let her feel that she’s important to me, we’re best friends after all.’

‘I knew something today, Solar is very ticklish. But I also found another thing, she gets even beautiful the more I look at her.’

‘Should I confess or should I not. Hwasa said I should, but I don’t think so… yet. I don’t to ruin the friendship we’ve build up for so many years just because of my selfishness.’

By this time, Solar was having a hard time reading, her eyes blurred by the swarming tears and Moonbyul’s diary now damped. She whimpered, holding Moonbyul’s diary close to her chest , lying in bed with her knees tucked in. 

There was nothing she could do… everything was too late, even if she head out to that door and call for her, tell her that she feels the same way, nothing will change.

Both locked up in the fact that though the feeling was mutual, there’s nothing they can do now.