Silence 

Tiny droplets of rain seeps through the open window of a dimly lit apartment landing perfectly on empty pages scattered on the table . Jackson had forget to lock the window again. Cursing himself he throws the covers , skin forming goosebumps immediately due to cold. He drags his feet towards the table in lazy manner and as his hand reaches for the window lock ,his eyes falls upon the empty pathway outside. The rain fall is heavy. He can make out the blurry image of street lamps lit for the passersby through his vision. He wonders what might his best friend be doing right now. Probably outside soaking wet. As much as his brain could remember , the older loved rain. The  droplets of rain never failed to amuse his best friend , he never knew the reason why,  didn't bother to ask ever. The smile that used to extend on older's lips , high pitched giggle and twinkle of the innocent eyes was so satisfying to him that made him forget all the questions , all the thoughts from his mind. 

A large droplet of rain falls flat on his face and he snaps back to reality. Sighing , he locks the window securely and drops down on the chair nearby.

How many months has it been exactly since he was left alone ? Two, three ? He has lost the track of time but the pain in his heart is still present , a painful reminder of his existence. He never healed and doesn't know if he ever will. 

The room is cold and emptiness engulfs it. The fire has already brunt out in the fireplace and damp patches of rain starts forming on wall. He misses his best friend even more. He isn't used to this uncomfortable silence. It's suffocating. 

Jackson picks up photo frame from the table. A smiling face greets him and he tries to return it. Dull ache forms in his heart but the smile doesn't flatter. The ghost of the boy's laughter resonates throughout the empty walls piercing every fiber of his body with such overwhelming feeling that a stray tear escapes his eye against his effort to hold it back. 

" Hey , how are you ? " 

Silence

" Look it's raining outside !  You love this weather right ?" 

Silence

" Aren't you cold ? " 

Silence 

" Why do you keep on smiling ? " 

Silence 

" I miss you . Don't you miss me ? " 

Silence 

" I have been waiting for you. Come back soon okay? " 

" Say something " his lips trembles and he squeezes his eyes shut , face scrunching up in pain.

" Say you'll come back. Please Mark " 

" Jackson "  a little boy waves his hands  at his best friend excitedly , huge smile adorning his features.

" Markie " 

Little Jackson runs as fast as his small legs could support towards Mark who is still waving his small hands at him.

" I have brought your favorite dumplings today. Mommy made it for you " 

Mark hands him the hello kitty tiffin box .

" Really ? Thank you Markiepooh ! " 

Jackson's eyes glows like thousands light bulbs and he engulfs his best friend in bone crushing hug.

They settle down on their usual place and unbox the homemade foods their mother's made with too much care and love for the little angels.

" Jackson where are you going for summer vacation ?"

Mark asks chewing on his favourite cheese sandwich.

" Nowhere. Are you going somewhere ? " 

" Yes. I am going to see Mickey Mouse " 

A sad pout forms on the boy's lips. He resembles very much like a kicked puppy " You are going to leave me alone ? " 

" I will come back Jackson,  I love you more than Mickey Mouse " 

"Really ? ! Then pinky promise me " 

They link their pinky fingers.

" Pinky promise " 

Lies 

The rain has stopped with the arrival of new morning.

Though Jackson doesn't feel like leaving his bed , he has to. He forces his body out of the bed , stretches his sore muscles and yawns sleepishly. After his usual morning routine he starts to get ready for his college. The wrinkled shirt hugs his thin frame , black trousers are loose on his waist. The messy mop of hair sticks out in every direction but he doesn't bother to fix it.

He steps out of the apartment not even bothering to have breakfast first . His stomach grumbles in protest but he suppresses the feeling of hunger away. 

He can feel the eyes of people wandering  at his direction as he walks down the street. He doesn't mind it at all . Afterall it's human nature to stare at werid things.

Droplets of water falls from the tress sidelining the road as wind ruffles through the leaves ; a remainder of last night's rain. The sun smiles through the clouds illuminating the whole surrounding with new radiance , a new hope. But Jackson doesn't smile back like he used to do when he was younger for he knows his sun isn't the one above sky, his sun is far away from him , out of his reach , out of his sight. And starry darkness isn't going to leave him alone , no matter how much he tries to scrub it off it will be super glued to him. 

He exhales the breath he has been holding and pushes away the painful memories on the corner of his mind. This isn't time to think of Mark specially in presence of so many people.

He resumes his walking. After what feels  like hours the school gate falls in his vision and he  hurries to enter inside , hoping praying he doesn't have to talk with anyone today. But his prayer is never heard and as soon as he steps his foot on the ground,  Park Jinyoung jogs towards his direction. 

" Hey bro. Haven't seen you for ages. How have you been ? " 

" Fine " 

Lie

" What about you Jinyoung ? " 

" Amazing as always " 

" That's good " 

" Ya "

" I heard  from JB what happened with Mark. I am sorry for your loss bro " 

" It's okay " 

It's not okay . Jackson wants to scream but he swallows it back. Instead he excuses himself from his used to be friend and walks to the classroom. No one pays any attention to him and he's damn grateful for that. He settles down on his usual seat on the very back of the room where he will not be noticed by teachers or anyone in particular.

Jackson settles down on the seat next to Mark. His face is down casted and he doesn't even bother greeting his usual ' Good morning Dimsum ' to his best friend.

" Gaga " 

He lifts his head up and halfheartedly smiles at Mark. 

" Are you alright ? " 

" I am fine " 

" Come here " 

Mark asks the younger boy to come closer . His eyes studies Jackson's face briefly. 

" Now tell me what happened "

" Nothing " 

" Jackson " 

Mark's voice is stern and Jackson feels so small under that piercing gaze. 

" Fought with Mama "  he mumbles " I feel like for making her cry " 

" Oh Gaga it's okay. She will forgive you " 

" What if she doesn't ? " 

" She is your mother Jackson. No matter what , she loves you the most " 

Mark engulfs his best friend into tight hug and the warmth makes Jackson feel at ease. Mark is the only solution to his problem , his dimsum is his medicine , his sunshine. 

" How do you know something was bothering me ? " 

" You weren't being yourself today annnddd I can see through your lies , afterall I am your best friend. " 

Friend

" Jackson " 

Youngjae , his seatmate snaps his fingers in front of Jackson's face. 

" Did you listen to what I just said ?  " 

" I'm sorry. What did you say ? " 

" Who is your partner for prom? Ah , let me guess it's Youngji isn't it ? " 

" I don't know "

 Older Jackson would have been more than excited for dance competition and in addition to that being the school's queen partner. But that Jackson has died ages ago. All that left behind is ashes of memories tainting his heart with black.

His friends also seem distant lately , as if they can't deal with changes in him . He doesn't want to burden them anymore , doesn't want to receive and reflect back the fake smiles anymore but , still he does. 

The laughter that escapes from the lips of boys sitting beside him irritates him to no end. He watches with envy as Youngjae and Jaebum giggle like teenage girls whispering on each other's ear.

' If only Mark was here ' Jackson's heart squeezes inside his chest painfully and he blinks back the tears. He runs his finger through disheveled hair and hides lays his head on the desk. 

Everything seems dull and uninteresting to him. He starts to question his existence. What should he live for ? Who should he live for ? There isn't anyone left for him in this cruel world. His mother died and Mark _____________

Why does his thoughts always revolve around his best friend ?  Why does tiny hope starts to grow inside his heart again when he has just wiped away it's existence ? 

Frustration hits him hard and then depressing thoughts floods his mind  , eating him raw inside out.  His best friend is gone , he is not going to return back that's the truth , that's the reality or that is what he hears from his friends. 

Moving on seems such a hard thing to do and it is , it really is specially when you have left your heart far behind. The gaping hole in your chest taunts you to return back to where your heart is, but if you return back you will fall in the trap of jumbled memories and that is the dead end. 

Jackson can't move on. Time has passed , seasons have changed , years have elapsed , childhood is gone , past is confined somewhere in the pages of mind but his heart , his thoughts seems to freeze in those days when there were only smiles,  when Mark was still here by his side.

" Jackson does this look good on me ? " 

Mark comes out of the bathroom ,  eyebrows knitting together in deep thought as he tugs the sleeve of black suite that fits perfectly on his thin frame.

" You look y Mark  " 

Jackson comments as he eyes Mark's reflection from the mirror in front of him. 

The older boy rolls his eyes " You say that to everyone" 

" Not everyone. " Jackson is fast to reply " Only those who are close to me " 

" Ya ya whatever " 

Mark checks time on his mobile and shifts his eyes to his friend.

" What's taking you so long ? " 

" I can't fix my hair. Ugh ! Why can't you just stay in a place ? ! " Jackson grumbles to the annoying strand of hair trying to tuck it back to original place. 

Mark giggles at his efforts and a cute pout forms on Jackson's lips. " Help me Dimsum " 

The older boy makes him turn around and runs his finger smoothly through Jackson's hair. 

" All done " 

" Thank you Mark you are the best. I'm sure Youngji will fall for me now " 

Hurt flashes through older's eyes for a fraction of second but it is immediately replaced by warm smile

" I am sure she will "

" And I'm sure Sana will fall for you "