If I Am To Die

If I Am To Die

If Jimin is to die before he truly must, then he hopes it will be worth it. He hopes that he will be happy, and content, and at peace.
If he is to die before the others do, then he hopes they will be okay. He hopes they will forgive him for leaving too soon. He hopes they will not blame themselves for idiotic things, and if they do blame themselves—He’s sure Taehyung would find a way too—then he hopes they will forgive themselves as well.
He knows he already does.

If Jimin is to die before everyone else, he wishes he can break his soul into pieces just like glass. So he can give them all one they need the most so they have a will to last.

 

One piece Jimin would give to Seokjin. He would leave himself in the things Seokjin loves the most, like food and Mario and s. He would sprinkle a bit of him in the jokes Seokjin makes, just to hear the laughter loudly. He would slip into the spices that Seokjin puts in kimchi, just so the elder knows it’s loved. He would let Seokjin know it’s okay to be sad, but no one blames him for pretending to be okay. He would tell Seokjin that he’s always loved his confidence, and some days Jimin hoped he could have just as much. But most importantly, he would tell Seokjin he loves him.

One piece Jimin would give to Yoongi. He would breathe himself into the melancholy words Yoongi would craft, even if they would be hidden right after they were created, never to see the light of day or hear the cries of fans. He would swing himself into the depression that Yoongi might develop, and hope that he will manage to bring the elder out of it once more. He would let Yoongi know that it’s okay to be angry, but that he shouldn’t linger on it too much because it isn’t healthy. He would tell Yoongi that some days will be hard, but everything will work out in the end. But most importantly, he would tell Yoongi he loves him.

Another piece Jimin would give to Hoseok. He would find himself in the bright smiles that Hoseok would give even if it was hard some days. He would plant himself into the flowers that Hoseok took care of and made sure they grew into something beautiful, because that’s all Hoseok wanted from them and the elder always thought Jimin was beautiful. He would store himself into the darkness of the nights, and when it got a bit too much for Hoseok, he’d make himself known and comfort the elder in the dark. He would let Hoseok know that the elder’s smile was always beautiful, but it loses its passion if it is fake. He would tell Hoseok that even the sun disappears from the sky sometimes, but it’s still loved even if it does so. But most importantly, he would tell Hoseok he loves him.

One piece Jimin would give to Namjoon. He would melt himself into the tears that Namjoon cries alone in the comfort of his studio, because hearing the hidden sadness is one thing but bringing it to light is another. He would colour himself red and orange and sit in the sunrise because Namjoon has always loved it more than the sunset, and he wants to make sure Namjoon knows where he is. He would let Namjoon know that he’s always looked up to him, both physically and mentally, but the happiness he felt when the elder went to find comfort in him would always be cherished. He’d tell Namjoon that loving all the members is wonderful and all, but it means less sometimes if there’s none left for himself. But most importantly, he would tell Namjoon he loves him.

One piece Jimin would give to Taehyung. He would sew himself into the wings Taehyung needed when he would need to cry so he wouldn’t drown beneath the waves. He would carve himself into the rocks Taehyung would need so he wouldn’t dream too far and try to fly away. He would let Taehyung know that he won’t really lose Jimin, because his friend will always be around, in everything he does and everything around him. He’ll be the stars and the moon and the sun and the best friend that Taehyung always wanted, he will always be. He would tell Taehyung that even if he is gone, the younger can still confide in him because he won’t truly be gone, and he will know every fret that the younger has, even if he protests. But most importantly, he would tell Taehyung he loves him.

Another piece Jimin would give to Jeongguk. He would lighten himself up in the confidence that Jeongguk tries to maintain, because Jimin knows it sometimes gets too heavy for the younger one. He would keep himself quiet in the cries that Jeongguk lets out for his brothers, but won’t let it be known that it hurt him sometimes because that might make the younger hurt more as well. He would let Jeongguk know that being the youngest doesn’t mean he has to keep his burdens quiet, and that it won’t make anyone’s baggage any heavier; in fact, it will make it lighter if it is shared. He would tell Jeongguk that holding an umbrella for five people while the younger stands under the rain is hard and there is room underneath that umbrella for one more. But most importantly, he would tell Jeongguk he loves him.

Other pieces would go to his family: his mom, his dad, his brother. He will breathe for them when they are dying, love for them when they hate, laugh for them when they are crying. He will let them know how strong they all are. The rest of his soul will scatter like stars into the night sky. And he’ll tell them all that when they are lonely and confused, they can lay all their wishes on him because he’ll never be too far.

So if Jimin is to die, before everyone else does, he doesn’t think he would mind too much. The only thing he wishes, is that he is able to be with them, and give them what they needed most from him…
For the rest of time.

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whoshazzz
#1
Chapter 1: oh gosh, this is so beautiful
CrownClownCole
#2
Chapter 1: IM NOT CRYING!!!