Joshua found himself lying on the couch again, apparently woken up by the noise of the door opening and closing multiple times. He remembered very clearly that he was waiting for Jeonghan to come back last night hence staying in the living room to watch a movie instead of their bedroom. Whether deliberate or not, he was pretty damn sure he didn't see Jeonghan before he fell asleep - it had happened for almost five nights in a row. 

“Josh?”

“Oh, hey…” Joshua sat up and rubbed the back of his sore neck, “I didn’t realise everyone left already.”

Vernon tried to stay silent about his disapproval; he wanted to tell Joshua to stop being so goddamn delusional and leave Jeonghan because it was obvious that it was becoming a one-sided relationship by now. He was not the only one who could see it; Jun and Hoshi have both noticed but neither of them wanted to get involved between a couple which was not right or wrong either. 

“You’re a funny guy, Josh.”

“We’ve been through this, Hansol.”

Joshua was thankful that his best friend was always here to help him cheer up and be assured that he's loved; but he detested discussing his relationship with Jeonghan with him. Vernon was so realistic and blunt that it pierced Joshua's heart every single time he was honest. Nonetheless, Vernon never seemed to be disheartened or the least bit affected every time Joshua pushed him away.

Yes, he knew Vernon had feelings for him.

“I know it’s not my place,” Vernon started out softly, “but I’m just looking out for you, Josh. I don’t want you to get your heart broken by him when there are other people better. I love Jeonghan-hyung and all… but he really isn’t the one for you.”

Joshua wanted to retort to that but he saw the pained look in his best friend's eyes, and he felt a sharp pain in his chest immediately. While he was busy showering love upon Jeonghan, he didn't take Vernon's feelings into consideration at all. Not forgetting that Jeonghan was a possessive person, even towards their own members; when Jeonghan finally paid attention to him, Joshua would forget about everything else.

Tears gathered at the corners of Joshua’s eyes and he breathed out a soft apology, “I’m so sorry… I’ve hurt you so much, Hansol.”

Vernon hated to see Joshua cry, because Joshua never cried over anything. He cried when he felt guilty and this was not the outcome Vernon wanted. Joshua shouldn't be feeling guilty about anything, not when he was being hurt by his boyfriend and some members aka the vocal team. Up till now, Vernon had been trying to pay more attention to Joshua because he knew how neglected the latter felt. 

Even Mingyu noticed the difference in Joshua lately... it was terrible that no one else seemed to.

Vernon brought Joshua into his arms and kissed his head tenderly, “stop apologising… you have nothing to be sorry for. I feel horrible for you, and I wish you'd be able to see that I'm better than him one day.”

Joshua wanted to see other people, he really did but he couldn't help himself from loving Jeonghan. He had been in love with Jeonghan for so long, he couldn't just stop all of a sudden. He wanted to have a choice and start loving someone else as much as he loved Jeonghan, it would be even better if he fell in love with Vernon instead. At least Vernon wouldn't break his heart all the time.

Fate...

Fate was playing with them.

*

Mingyu scrolled through the videos on the timeline and he spotted a rather eye-catching title - Forgotten member of the vocal team. He furrowed his eyebrows and clicked on the video, nodding to himself when he realised which variety show they were on. Both he and Wonwoo were immensely disappointed and flabbergasted when they watched the broadcast the following week; they never expected the vocal team to actually forget Joshua. 

“Coups-hyung was actually worried…” Mingyu sighed and shook his head, “so much has changed.”

Back then, Seungcheol was ready to kick all their asses for forgetting Joshua but now? Seungcheol always hung out with Jeonghan and deprived the couple of their time. Fine, Jeonghan could have denied it but anyone could tell that they were getting closer and closer while Joshua was getting more neglected.

It wasn't right. 

Even if they were best friends, there should be some sort of boundary that cannot be crossed.

“Babe?” Wonwoo came in with a towel in one hand, drying off his hair as he approached his boyfriend in front of the computer. He wrapped one arm around Mingyu’s neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek, “what are you watching?”

Wonwoo stared at the monitor and he frowned; was Mingyu trying to get himself depressed or something? He couldn't think of a reason why Mingyu would be watching a video with that title. He sat on the bed and grabbed the back of the swivel chair, spinning Mingyu around to see the problem with his boyfriend. Mingyu's shocked expression was perfect and Wonwoo regretted not capturing it. 

“What’s wrong, Gyu?”

Mingyu shook his head, “nothing, I just saw this video on my timeline so I clicked on it.”

“It’s such a depressing thing to think about… I always wonder if Jisoo-hyung is coping fine with Jeonghan-hyung not paying enough attention to him.”

That was another issue to be worried about besides Joshua’s loneliness; the fact that there were members ignoring Joshua's existence was an even bigger problem. Well, it was mostly the vocal team since Joshua was often with the hiphop team but if only they knew that it started because Joshua felt ignored and out of place. No one was blaming the vocal team, but they could have done a lot better.

Wonwoo opened his arms and patted the space beside him, inviting his perplexed boyfriend into a hug. He could understand the dilemma Mingyu was feeling; Joshua had become a lot closer to them after being ignored so many times. He didn’t know how come the other members didn’t feel odd at the sudden exclusion of Joshua but one thing for sure was: Jeonghan could have done a lot better as his boyfriend.

Mingyu pouted and snuggled against Wonwoo’s neck, “I’m so sad, babe.”

Wonwoo might have been upset at first but his boyfriend was being a gentle puppy and it was beyond the normal level of cute. “I know… we just have to be there for Jisoo-hyung, okay? Even if Jeonghan-hyung and the rest of the vocal team won't pay attention to him, we will stick close to him.” Wonwoo said and gave Mingyu a peck on the lips, his other hand ruffling his hair tenderly and lovingly. 

Joshua wasn’t one to voice out his problems or pain to just anyone; so far the only person he’d talked about it with was Vernon but there was a clear boundary between the two of them which was also obstructing Joshua’s confessions all the time. Joshua couldn’t directly talk about his problems because he didn’t want to ruin Vernon’s impression of Jeonghan further…

His problems were never really resolved.

“Do you think Hyung will open up to us?” Mingyu asked softly, “I… I don’t want to intrude but I feel so bad for him. I don’t want him to resort to anything stupid in the end…”

“We can always try.”

No one wanted Joshua to do anything stupid; they were pretty sure of it but some of them were doing a pretty ty job of showing it. The vocal team was Joshua's first main interaction every day because of practice, and it was also the first place he got hurt. Joshua was either going to start avoiding them or he was going to do something extreme - it'd be too damn late to regret it afterward. 

*

*

The next day went by rather normal, except the fact that the meanie couple were staring at Joshua a little too intensely; they were so worried about their gentleman that they didn't realise how suspicious they looked. Of course it would be better if they stole glances but either way, it wasn't decreasing their paranoia or worries. The actual scene had become really obvious to them. 

“What’s up with the two of you today?” Hoshi asked, bending down in front of them. “You two are going to melt Joshua-hyung with your stares really soon. Be careful not to creep him out too badly.”

Mingyu was about to respond when Wonwoo held his forearm, shaking his head slightly. Wonwoo didn’t want to make things excessive, considering the fact that they didn’t know who noticed and who didn’t. As much as possible, they wanted to protect Joshua without causing panic among the other members or they’d force him to open up even if he’s not ready.

Wonwoo swallowed and looked at Hoshi, “we’re just worried about him. He’s been through a lot.”

Hoshi was silent for a while, albeit suspicious of the behaviour the younger ones were displaying. He never really saw the difference but when Wonwoo wanted to be secretive; there was a vast difference. Mingyu, on the other hand, still displayed a smile but he was hesitant in everything he did - it was too unlike the cheerful persona he had almost all the time.

“Is there something wrong with him?”

“U-Um…” Wonwoo had to force a smile when he denied and he suddenly felt horrible; secrets were supposed to be forbidden among each other. He still had to continue smiling, “no, not really.”

Joshua was sitting so quietly in the corner that Mingyu wanted to cry at that sight right there and then; since when did SEVENTEEN's gentleman become so lonely? It also brought light to another