*Hi! So I'm happy that I could write from my computer haha! so here it is. Hope you like it. Sorry that this became a long chapter.

*Co-assisted (aka Background music) by : I like it when you sleep, falling for you, sound, etc - The 1975 

•P.S : I changed the background, not bar but cafe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

The sound of the rain occupied his thought and nerve and he'd never been this tense.

This made him even more nervous than going on job interview.

But he'd swear to himself, to always give opportunity a chance, to give it a try.

That maybe, just maybe he'd find it.

Or in this case, him.

He was just trying to be open, that's all.

And even this end up as usual, it won't kill him.

 

 

 

 

Seunghyun can't help but being bashful.

It's been awhile, this is his first date slash appointment after two months.

He was tired of the neverending cycle.

Of speeding up to home after work, dressing up, putting on his best cologne, of buying roses, of showing up early, - only to find out that his date stood him up.

It's not always happens, of course. But it did happen 75% times so he kinda expected it now.

Cos, when he found out that he had been sitting and waiting for 30 minutes - it mostlikely means that it happened again.

 

 

 

He can't protest.

Can't get angry at his supposed to be date, either.

Online dating has it perks, ain't it?

There's no guarantee that said person will show up to the date or even would reply to your chat.

There's no knot to tie, there's no rule.

If they don't want to reply,

If they don't want to come,

then it's their decision, their rights.

 

 

 

 

Doesn't mean that it doesn't make him feel any less tier.

This happens quite an awfully lot.

To the point that he starts to wonder what the hell is wrong with him?

To make people go away before they met him?

Was he too pushy?

Was he too cold?

Was he too demanding?

He never know. But Seunghyun wish he knew.

 

 

As for now, he grab his clutch, phone, and car-keys, he walked to the cashier to pay the bills.

He's thankful that he is a grown man that at least he's mature enough to pay for his own bills, to drive himself home, to sit by the window of the The Grind, alone.

But someday he wonders, whether there would be someone who will accompany him, someone who is care enough to bring color to his mundane life or even someone whom he could tie the knot to.

He chuckles at the silly thought,

Who Am I Kidding, Seunghyun thought.

He can't even make his date to show up, let alone having a marriage.

 

 

 

"Are you ready to close the bill, Sir?"

"Yeah, one cup of Hot caramel macchiato and a butter croissant, table #1"

"That would be $3.75."

"Uhm, Really? Is there any discount today? Not to be cocky but I think it shouldn't be that cheap"

 

 

 

 

Seunghyun was confused, he knew this coffee shop's price by eyes closed. He's quite a regular here.

"You're lucky, Sir. The Grind is nearing closing time so the croissant is free."

"Wow, thank you."

"Here is the receipt, oh and you forgot your roses, Sir."

"Oh don't worry about that, just put it, I'd give it for the cafe."

"Okay. Thank you Sir. Have a great night."

"Yeah, you too."

 

 

 

 

Free bread, Not bad, Seunghyun thought.

At least the night ended well, and the waiter was kind too.

He needs human contact the least, at night like this.

Being stood up somehow up his ego, he's hurt.

But the night will turns and by the morning, he knows he'll be okay again, he'll go to work, and maybe he'd grab espresso by the cafe tomorrow.

Just like that, he drives home slowly. 

 

 

 

 

 

"Did you see that guy earlier?"

"Who?"

"Seungri, please. THAT guy."

"What do you mean, Jiyong?"

"He got stood up again, Seungri. I wish I could find and punch those s who stood him up cos he doesn't deserve that."

"Ah, that guy. That guy that you'd been watching over the past months? The one with Harry Potter glassess yeah?"

"Yes. Why the hell kept happening to him, I swear to god, if I was his date, I'd never stood him up. I mean have you seen him? He's perfect."

"Jiyong, I see that you developed a customer/barista crush. It's dangerous"

"I just sympathised him, you ."

"By sympathise, do you mean that you want to, uhm, you know? Kiss him or something?"

"Really, Seungri, Shut up. Let's clean up"

"I see the way you look at him, Jiyong. It wasn't how a barista supposed to look at his customer."

 

 

 

 

 

Seunghyun didn't come to the coffee shop for weeks after that.

He starts to drink coffee less too, maybe his life is dark enough already, that he didn't need any value-added coffee to make it even more heavy.

Maybe he needs to start taking an anger management clases.

He wonders, why he'd been in rage.

Probably because he hate online dating.

He hates those guys that did him dirty.

He hates those guys who didn't respect him enough to show up and be his date.

He hates those guys that made him have this too much expectation towards dating.

And despite of all, he hates himself, for letting this to kept happening, he hates himself for being this weak.

 

 

 

 

Work has been blur, and the resentment still very much alive within him.

He can't sleep last night, so he decided a cup of macchiato would at least help him to stay focus at work today.

He walked to the usual coffee shop, and he notices that the smiling barista from weeks before, is also here this morning.

And if he's lucky enough, maybe he'll get discount or free items or even said barista's number.

He doesn't even know why the latter thought appears, so he just ignore it and goes to the cashier.

 

 

 

He then realized that said barista dye himself in blonde.

A part of him wishes that he knew this cute barista's name but he doesn't even want to try romance anymore, at least not now.

Maybe he's not cut out for the love itself. 

"Good morning, Sir. One hot caramel macchiato, maybe?"

"Yeah. Extra shot and less sugar, please."

"Sure, and sorry the name, Sir? We have a waiting list here, so we need to attach your name to the -?"

"Seunghyun. Thank you."

 

He said while giving the cute barista/cashier his money and goes to the side to wait for his drink.

It's nice to find out that someone he barely knew remember little thing about himself.

His barista remembers his favourite drink.

Could that lead means something?

Before his head starts imagining and thinking about wild things, he heard his name being called.

 

 

 

"Seunghyun. Caramel Macchiato For Seunghyun."

"Yeah. Thank you."

"Have a nice day, Seunghyun."

"Yeah, you too. Uhm - Jiyong."

 

 

 

By that he realized, he likes the way the barista sounds when he said his name.

The way Jiyong said his name. Jiyong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

"This time might be different, ain't it?"

"But Seunghyun, you've been going to online dates, and most of them, they never show up. Why do you even putting so much energy? You could see people around your work, or idk where and then I guarantee you'd find your lover. Beside it's friday night now, people will go to bar instead."

"Daesung....how am I supossed to find him, when I don't even try? Try to go out and actually try to meet people. There's a chance that one of these guys might be him, okay?"

"Okay, but if this turns out , no more online dates, okay? I swear I'll introduce you to Youngbae."

"Thanks for your concern, Daesung. But nah, I ain't go on dates with guys that taken already."

"I'm just kidding, you . I don't have much guy friends."

"I know, don't worry, just wish me luck, please."

 

 

 

*

 

 

Turns out Daesung was right, maybe he should stop.

Some people weren't even worth to be given a chance or even time.

His date tonight was nice at first.

They meet at the coffee shop and then Jaehyuk took him to dinner.

He even took him to gelato parlor, but then when they reach the parking lot - happens.

 

 

 

 

They walked together. 

Hand in hand.

Seunghyun was happy.

Jaehyuk was such a good guy, he thought.

But then Jaehyuk's hands his waist and then he tried to slipped near his zipper. 

"Let's go to my place, shall we?"

He jolts and then ran outside despite Jaehyuk's shouts of his name.

Such a loser. 

He regrets going out, putting on nice jackets and outfit, spraying his fav cologne, giving out roses for a guy who just want nothing else than just -  to get inside his pants.

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

 

"Did you see the harry potter guy, last night?"

"My shift just start this morning, are you drunk?"

"He came here last night."

"And did the date show up?"

"Yeah. They talked for awhile and then I saw them going outside outta here."

"Then that's good, at least he didn't get stood up again."

"Jiyong, you've been watching him for months. Don't you think that you should at least do something? Like talk to him or anything ask him out?"

"Seungri, not again."

"Really? You will let him being stood up again??"

"I could just hope for the best for him that his future date won't do that, right?"

"Yes, or you could pluck up the courage to actually ask him out, you coward."

"I can't afford losing this job, you know that don't you?"

"Jiyong sweetheart, just because you go eat together with a customer, doesn't mean boss will sue you."

"Didn't you read the employee' guide book carefully? #8 Never involved romantically with any customer ever."

"Having meals together doesn't mean "involved romantically" though. Beside it's now or never, don't you think? There's no guarantee that he'd come here again. You've been down and moody when he's gone for weeks and now finally he comes back as a regular. And you don't want to takes a chance?, Jiyong?"

". it. I'll do it. I swear, I'll do it as soon as he enters here."

"That's my boy Jiyong."

 

 

 

 

 

*

After hours of hearing Daesung nagging him and promising to Daesung that he'd at least have a break.

Seunghyun realized he had enough. 

He needs a break from this pathetic hell.

He deleted the dating app, he deleted those 's numbers.

Then dives to sleep.

At least he doesn't need to worry about work now, since the weekend is coming.

 

 

*

 

Being a graphic designer, had it's own up and down.

He could work everywhere, at his home, at a library, at the office, and even at a restaurant or a coffee shop.

He decided to go work at The Grind on this saturday morning.

He put on his classic black vans, white tee tucked into his jeans, grab his backpack, and then he's good to go.

He always like to go to The Grind, not only because he'd reach it by walking distance from his home but also it's not pricey and their baristas are all kind.

Suddenly, he found him self thinking about Jiyong.

Weird, he thought.

But he just shrugged it off  and try to think about what kind of beverage that he'd order later.

 

 

The cafe turns out just the way Seunghyun expected it to be.

Calm but homey.

Since it's still early, he appreciate time like this.

That he could work on his project and finished it rightaway.

 

 

He walked to the cashier, taking out his wallet and then he sees a mop of platinum white hair and  - 

"Good Morning From The Grind! may I help you?"

"Morning. Nice Hair!"

"Well, thanks, Seunghyun. Hot Caramel Macchiato, perhaps?"

"Uhm sorry - uhm yes Jiyong, oh and extra shot please? I need to wake my self up."

"Sure. Just wait there, thank you. Have a good day!"

 

 

Seunghyun was indeed a mess.

Jiyong's hair did things to his somersault heart, and his smile is not really helping either.

He sat at the corner on the right so that he could watch Jiyong working behind the cashier.

To the point that he didn't realized that he was staring.

Seunghyun, stop. Stop hoping anything cos it won't happen, please. He tried to calm himself and get to work.

Then he saw someone approached him by bringing his own coffee.

 

 

"Here you go. Doing work, on the weekend?"

"Thank you, sorry that I made you walk all the way here. And yeah. work. on the weekend, yes."

Not only heartbeat was going crazy, turns out his mouth also was a mess.

"I see. I'll leave you to it then. Good luck, Seunghyun."

"Yeah. Thanks Jiyong."

 

 

 

Seunghyun can't help but grabbed the table when he saw Jiyong's walking towards him again,

instead of the opposite way.

And then he hears it, 

 

 

"Seunghyun, I was - I was thinking that maybe after you're done, maybe you wanna grab brunch with me? It's okay if you won't, though. Don't feel pressured to say yes."

"I'm in. Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes, Jiyong. Let's grab brunch, later."

"Good, I'll come to you after my shift then"

"Okay."

 

 

 

 

He never wanted to die this bad.

The nervousness is killing him, and somehow his knuckles turns white from grabbing the table.

It's almost 10 am now, he's done with one project, three projects to go.

His macchiato has long gone. And he's been staring at the cashier only to found out that Jiyong is nowhere to be seen.

Which means that he's mostlikely done with his shift.

Which means that he's going to brunch with him soon.

 

 

 

Seunghyun doesn't know what it is yet, he kept saying to himself that this might not means anything.

It's just a brunch within friends? coleague? He can't even called Jiyong his friend, though.

Despite the fact that Jiyong always takes and make his orders here in The Grind.

But his racing heart possibly can't calm himself.

He's anxious.

What should they talk about later?

What should he order? What kind of food that Jiyong likes?

What if he can't compossed himseld later on and Jiyong finds him annoying?

Why would he cares so much about what Jiyong thinks?

And just like that, once again - Choi Seunghyun, a completely mature and intellectual man in his thirties - turns into a nervous mess

over a cute barista that make the best caramel macchiato, ever.

 

 

 

 

"Hi."

"Hi, yourself. You - Just finished?"

"Yeah. Are you? Do you have foods that you'd like?"

"Yes. Let me pack my bag. Nope, I'm all yours. - I mean you decide, I haven't really going around for foods."

"But you're willing to go out for coffee? I see."

"Yeah. Good coffee needs efforts to be taken. Let's go?"

"Yes. After you."

 

 

 

Talking to Jiyong, almost feels like talking to an old friend.

Their conversations matches itself. Flow slowly like a river.

Hours passed by, and Seunghyun learnt a lot about Jiyong.

That Jiyong is a college student majoring in literature, and he is on his last year at uni.

He's been working at The Grind for three years.

Seunghyun also found out that Jiyong has been writing for their local newspaper filling articles about food and lifestyle.

Despite being a few years younger than him, he finds Jiyong really an inspiring human being.

He's young, and full of life and dreams.

He really find company in Jiyong.

They talked about a lot of things, mostly about Seunghyun's work and Jiyong's uni and also other things that didn't quite matter such as origami - but then it actually matters, Seunghyun thought. Cos he shares the conversation with Jiyong.

 

 

One brunch turns into two, two turns into three.

He'd been friends with Jiyong for quite some time now to the point that Jiyong is open enough about his broken family that Seunghyun is open enough about his problems and worries.

They'd find company and friends in each other.

Seunghyun was glad that Jiyong asked him out that one saturday morning.

Can he even called it as date?

He wasn't sure.

They never talk about anything, never being further than friends.

Never talk about their romantic life.

But sometimes when he's raising his view from his laptop - to see and hear about Jiyong's story, only to found out that Jiyong's already staring at him.

And then he'd smile at Jiyong that's smiling at him.

Cos despite everything, he was sure.

He knew that he's falling for Jiyong.

And he's willing to pursue it and take a chance.

Because maybe, just maybe Jiyong likes him back?

If he's not he wouldn't keep hanging out with him, would he?

But then again, Seunghyun was afraid to let his hope to raise only to found out and be dissapointed later.

He just silently hopes that, that Jiyong would be different.

That he'd win over the cupid and it's game, this time.

 

 

 

"What are you smiling at?"

"You. The Harry Potter glassess looks really cute at you, you know?"

"Jiyong, please I am working right now."

"I know, Can't I being honest with my friend? You're gorgeous, Choi Seunghyun."

"Well, speak for yourself, Kwon Jiyong."

 

 

They smiled at each other and then continuing their work.

Jiyong with his thesis, and Seunghyun with his design projects.

It's always easy to be like this.

To meet up and working together with Jiyong.

Somehow life feels lighter, and work feels quite easier, cos he got a shoulder to rely on.

Shoulder to cry on.

Someone that got his back when he's tired with life.

Someone that would be there for him as much as he would also be present for that said someone.

 

 

He's glad that he found a friend in Jiyong.

But it also frustates him at the same time.

Especially when things get hard, he wishes he could just brags into Jiyong's house and curl to him.

But he can't, they're just friends. 

Hell, he didn't even hug Daesung.

Strangely, he always wants to share every good things with Jiyong too.

When he found out about news and cute products on the internet, when he heard a good song, when he read about movie's reviews -

He always wants Jiyong to be the first person to know.

And Seunghyun knew that said something.

Perhaps, he doesn't wanna just be Jiyong's friend nor his bestfriend.

 

 

 

 

 

I don't wanna be your friend,

I wanna kiss your neck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But what more could he do?

He was always the confused type.

Never know when people actually took interest in him.

Never understand how romance works.

So he decided to play it safe.

He decided to go on online dates again, maybe by that, the thought of Jiyong would go away.

And maybe this time, his date would show up.

 

 

 

 

 

*

Jiyong didn't see Seunghyun and his date enters The Grind.

But from this corner he could see that - that of Seunghyun's date been touching him and he knew that Seunghyun's face says the opposite of being okay right now.

 

 

"Seungri look at that."

", Jiyong, you're late again, then."

"No, Seungri, that ain't happening. What should I do?"

"It's either you make him the love of your life or would the company's rule restricted you so?"

" the boss, Seungri. it."

 

 

* 

 

Youngkwang was kind and true to his word.

He brought Seunghyun to a bbq and soju bar, drives him around and even bringing him gift - a neck tie.

Youngkwang was nice.

Not only because he's actually easy to talk with, but also he made Seunghyun stopped thinking about Jiyong for little awhile.

He can't remember whose decision was it to grab coffee after having alcohol on his system, but he welcomes it anyway.

Youngkwang was drunk, he found out that very much later.

 

 

 

 

 

The Grind was quite packed tonight .

They sat at the very corner that Jiyong once approached him for the first time.

Not again, Seunghyun can't help but murmurs.

He was enjoying his macchiato, sitting beside his date and then - it happens again

Youngkwang's hands was caressing his thigh.

Eventhough he was kind and all, Seunghyun had enough.

Maybe he should really stop doing things that destroys himself.

 

 

Maybe guys just wanted him for his body, for pleasure.

No one ever want to takes him seriously and treat him how he deserves.

 

 

 

He's about to stand and to walk away from the date, 

Suddenly he feels Youngkwang's hands on his thigh was being swayed and there was mouth on his cheek and he saw in front of him - a disbelief looks on Youngkwang's face knowing that his date was being kissed with someone else? A barista to be exact.

Seunghyun was at lost, but then he's trying so hard to compose himself, perhaps Jiyong would explain himself?

 

 

 

He's looking at a mad Youngkwang that walked out off the cafe angrily and to Jiyong

that standing near him, and to Jiyong's hands that's in his shoulder. 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sorry I took so long. Stop going around with these kind of s, will you?"

"Took you long enough, Jiyong."

"I'm falling for you, Seunghyun."

"I know."

 

 

 

 

Just like that, without any need of exchanging love words at all, cos they both knew, that they are actually falling for each other.

It takes numerous of ty dates and being stood up for him to found Jiyong.

Maybe he wasn't really looking.

Or he was looking at the wrong side, he was expecting someone to love to the point that he didn't realize that said

someone has been watching him, and has been his shoulder to rely to - all this time.