This cannot be happening.

You wanted to avert your gaze, but your eyes remained locked on Jimin’s, wide with inability to accept reality. Not that it would’ve mattered if you could; there was no taking back what your brother had seen. But when he started striding towards you, it was as if your heart jumped back to life, immediately working into a pace that couldn’t be natural. The rush of adrenaline urged you forward, stumbling clumsily like someone had pushed you from behind, to put as much distance as you could from Jin’s room as you met Jimin halfway through the hall. Not that you wanted to rush towards the inevitable encounter, but anything to distance yourself from Jin’s room. Acting like a thief that had been caught red-handed made you feel awful, but you couldn’t think of anything else in the split second that you had.

“What are you doing here at this time of night?” Jimin’s harsh tone, unfamiliar to your ears, made you shrivel up inside.

It wasn’t as if you’d never considered the likely possibility with which you could get caught visiting Jin, but pushing away the imagination of it happening was nothing like having it actually happen. And you were powerless to evade it now. You couldn’t turn back time. Yet for all the preparations you thought you’d made, you found yourself at a loss. All the excuses you’d thought up in case this happened seemed so feeble in the face of your brother. Weak syllables tumbled from your lips in a stutter, each of them broken from a non-existing word just for the sake of not remaining quiet.

Then Jimin’s eyes flicked in the direction of Jin’s room, and you finally gathered enough wits to say something. “I— I was just ta-taking a stroll.” It wasn’t anything very intelligible, but the idea of Jimin making the connection and figuring out the real reason you were out and about at this time of night sent you into a panic.

However, Jimin wasn’t easy to fool, no matter how much you wished otherwise, just this one time. “Did you go to your Royal Guard’s room?”

Your breath caught, heart squeezed in terror at his accurate guess. With your mind drawing a blank, whatever lie you could think of would be useless at this point, and you had no idea what to do. In the end, all you could say was the only thing that was on your mind; “Can we talk about this somewhere else?”

Part of you were afraid that Jimin wouldn't agree to it, even though there was no reason for him to say no. It was just that everything had gone so horribly wrong in just that one second that you expected your unlucky streak would continue. But Jimin was not in a hurry to make a scene, glancing around and remembering where you were. He nodded, then motioned for you to follow him. Knowing that it was useless to run, you trudged after him anxiously, a mixture of negative emotions settling in within you but a strength that remained from being protective of your love towards Jin keeping you from completely giving up.

Yet when he led you inside his chambers, you were still struggling to find a way to hide the truth from him. You were careful to remain several steps behind him all the way there, but after he opened the door for you, he strode over directly in front of you. The door closed shut with a click that was final to your ears. There was nowhere to hide. Still, it was painful to meet Jimin’s eyes. The brother that had always been loving towards you, even though oftentimes hidden behind his teasing ways, was nowhere to be seen. In his place was the handsome man who looked just like him, but with brows you never knew could slant so disapprovingly, with a stare that was cold, with jaw set so stiffly you could imagine his teeth being grounded together, his lips pursed to ready himself to shoot down any excuse you might think of. This Jimin made you feel small. He made you scared. The person you would run to when you wanted comfort was now the same man who made you feel like crying. And you had no one to turn to.

Shaking, you decided that he might be more forgiving if you came forth with the information without further prompting. “I went to check on him because he seemed upset.” You figured that it was best to stick to the truth, as any lie you could think of would not be convincing. Hopefully by omitting most of it out, you could scrape by without getting into too much trouble.

“Why would it concern you that he seemed upset?” A little incredulousness was pricked into Jimin’s tone, but he didn’t sound completely surprised. Which, in turn, was slightly unsettling to you. Shock from seeing you in that corridor late at night aside, he didn’t seem as puzzled as you’d expect him to be.

“Uhm,” you hesitated, unwilling to delve further into this. The more you told Jimin, the higher the possibility that he would be able to gauge how close Jin and you were. However, you couldn’t sidestep or ignore the question. “It was my decision to go to Zinnis, and because of that, he will be exposed to danger with the extra burden of protecting me. I felt bad about it and wanted to make sure that he is not resentful.”

Jimin eyed you closely, making you squirm. You felt like he could see through your soul, and being examined like that when you really did have something to hide was nerve wracking. “It is his duty to protect you regardless of the circumstances. If you need to go and coddle him every time he does not agree with a decision that puts you in danger, then he is not suited for his position.”

Even though his tone was firm rather than mocking, your cheeks coloured at the accusation. “Of course not! The decision to see him was mine, not because anything that he said or did. I went to see him to alleviate my worries, and not his. Jin is perfectly suited for his job.”

Your outburst sent Jimin’s eyebrows up into his fringe, and you instantly knew that you’d messed up. Intentional or not, he’d successfully riled you up, making you slip and told him more that you meant to. Not verbally, but your adamance and calling him not just by his name, but by his nickname gave him more information that you wanted him to know. And it’s hard to believe that it was by accident, when you thought about it again later. Although he was a tease and a half, Jimin wasn’t one to belittle a person, and it was clear from the beginning that you were the one who went out of the way to seek him out. There was no reason to think that Jin was angry for being given a dangerous mission, or he was so reluctant to do it that you needed to go and convince him to. Jimin had deliberately said that to bring out your feelings for Jin to the surface. And you’d fallen into the trap like a deer that had lost all its senses. You wanted to smack yourself silly when the realisation hit you.

“What is going on between the two of you?” Crossing his arms, with his feet apart, made him look more intimidating than before. The look that pierced through you made you think that he already knew the answer to his question, and did not approve. You stared at your feet, blinking back tears as your fingers fiddled uselessly. There was no point in answering him; you wanted his question was a rhetorical one, really. Just because you didn't have the strength to put it into words. You didn’t expect yourself to be so weak, but you couldn’t muster the courage to say anything. You didn’t have the strength to tell him the truth and hear the reality of the situation from him. The silence stretched until Jimin gave up on getting an answer from you with a resigned sigh. “You should go to bed. We have an early morning tomorrow.”

Being let go should fill you with a sense of relief, but you only gave him a small nod, then left with heavy footsteps and a heavier heart. Even though you knew that you should give it more thought now that Jimin had found out about you and Jin, you didn’t want to think about it. As you arrived in your chambers and collapsed face down on your bed, you felt ashamed of yourself as you let the tears fall. The concerned Ji Eun was pushed away, leaving you to berate yourself on your own. There was never any doubt of the sincerity of your feelings for Jin, even now. You were serious about him. This wasn’t just a passing fancy. You loved him. But you’d only realised how unprepared you were when reality hit you in the face.

Jimin was just the first obstacle of many, standing in the way of your happiness with Jin. All along you knew that falling in love with Jin was a foolish thing to do. It wouldn’t lead you anywhere. But these feelings were not something you could control. The fate that tied you with Jin started from the moment he held out his hand to you. With your hand, you surrendered your heart to him, and never looked back. You never wanted to second guess your choice. So stubborn was your love towards him that you broke down his walls, convinced him not to hold back when he had reservations over having romantic feelings towards someone far above his station. And he was right. It was just you who were obstinate. So why were you crumbling now? You hated yourself for being so weak. Presented with the first disapproval of your relationship and you were already buckling under the weight of others’ expectations towards you. You were