We have different ‘days’.

We have ‘lazy days’ where we would just stay in. We’d order takeout and watch movies all day. Or dramas. Or anime.

We have ‘chat days’ where we would just talk about anything and everything. Sometimes, when schedules get too busy and we’re forced to go on long distance relationship mode, we’d just talk on the phone for as long as we can. At least once a day. As promised.

We also have ‘crazy days’ where we would gamble the future of our careers by disguising ourselves and having a date out. We once rode the subway and ate patbingsu in Myungdong and no one recognized us. We owe it all to the power of makeup. Or to the power of having no makeup.

Today started out as an ‘I’m-just-a-supportive-friend day’. He attended the matinee for my musical as my *cough* close personal friend. In the years we’ve been dating, only a number of people know about it. But, I think the whole world already knows that we’ve been close friends since high school. I don’t really think much about it, and my company doesn’t even care, but he strongly opposes to admitting to the relationship. Despite all the rumors going around for a while now. I think he’s just afraid that his fans would attack me and that we’ll have another round of the Jonghyun-Sekyung story. As the leader of the group, he strongly advised Jonghyun to stay low and to stay away from the press but, well, you know what happened…

After my shows, he would give me flowers, congratulate me for a job well done, and take me home. That’s how it’s always been since I’ve known him. So when I entered his car after the show and expected to see his smiling face but got a glaring face instead, well, I was beyond confused. He was seething. I could almost see the smoke coming out from his ears. The only time I saw him like this was when I got into a car accident and didn’t tell him because he was on tour in Japan at that moment. It wasn’t that serious. I promise! I just got my arm broken… Yep. Not serious at all.

So, I’m confused. He was just glaring at the steering wheel for about a minute. I think I could hear the gears in his head working. What’s going on? Did I do something wrong? I’m a little bit scared now.

He forced a stiff smile and without looking at me, “Did you have fun?” he started.

“Wha—? Yeah! Of course!” I’m still confused but tried to change the atmosphere anyway. “I think this is my favorite musical so far. I mean, the songs are just a blast to sing and we all get along so well with each other. I can’t believe I almost rejected the offer to appear in thi—“

“I didn’t know you had a kiss scene.” He cut me off. “You should have warned me.”

Ah. Great.

While I was on stage doing my performance, the ‘I’m-just-a-supportive-friend day’ has apparently turned into the ever elusive ‘jealous day’. It only comes once in a blue moon.

He took a breath in. Out. Started the engine and drove me home. He didn’t have his glaring face anymore. It has somehow changed into a very passive face—the face he has when he’s having inner conflict. At times like these, it’s best to leave him alone and figure things out for himself. So, I just sat there in the passenger seat. Shifting my eyes to him from time to time. Trying to get the right timing to start a conversation. But, his face never left it’s passive state.

Before I know it, he was already stopping in front of the hotel lobby. He got out, opened the door for me, and left. Just like that. No hug. No kiss goodbye. Not even a simple ‘goodnight’.

Judging from the way he’s handled his jealous fits before, I guessed that this phase wouldn’t even last a whole day. But, apparently, I was wrong. He didn’t answer his phone when I called him the next day. And the next day. And the next day. And the next. It’s not as if I can just barge into their building demanding he talk to me. Well, I can, actually, but I can’t just exploit girlfriend perks like that when I didn’t even do anything wrong. Ah… Should I have just entered SM like he wanted me to? Nah… YG family ‘til the death.

I was suddenly pulled out from my thoughts when I heard my phone ring.

Key

Why am I not surprised?

“Noona, did you guys have a fight?” he asked as I soon as I answered the call. “I’m sorry but I think we need to sedate him. He’s been all dictator mode on all of us these past few days. I don’t even think he’s slept at all. He just stays in the studio or the recording room all day. We even tried luring him out with fried chicken but it didn’t work.”

I sighed, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately. He doesn’t even answer my calls. Has he been eating?” I asked.

“I saw him eat green salad with no dressing this morning. It’s like he’s torturing himself with it.” He answered.

I’m worried as hell but chuckled anyway as a response.

“I think you’re the only one who can get him out” he added. “I’m leaving soon but I’ll ask them to keep the doors open for you.”

I sighed, “Okay. I’ll be right there.” And hung up.

It wasn’t hard to find him. It was already past midnight and the only place with lights still on was their usual dance studio.

He was just there, dead center, on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling. I walked up to him and laid down about a foot away beside him—just so he can keep his personal space. I matched my breathing to the sound of his, and joined the staring contest with the ceiling.

We stayed that way for about an hour. Or was it just a few minutes? I don’t know. I didn’t really keep track. All I was thinking about is how relieved I am that he’s letting me stay there with him as he gathers his thoughts—that even though he’s not talking to me, he still lets me invade his bubble.

“I’m sorry” he said softly. If I were any further from him, I wouldn’t even have heard it.

“It’s okay,” I reply. “Just don’t ignore my calls next time.”

I heard him sigh. “Not about that,” he started. “But I’m sorry about that, too. We promised to call everyday…”

“Well, what are you sorry for?” I asked. “What’s been bugging you that you’re not even acting like yourself? Key and the others are getting worried too, you know?”

“I know,” he answered. “It’s just… I’ve been thinking about our relationship…”

“And?” I urged him to continue.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” he said. “The rumors, the secrets, the hiding. I just can’t take it anymore.”

I felt a huge weight come down my chest as I listen to him say those words. Like I’m being crushed. My vision starts to blur as I felt tears form in my eyes. This can’t be happening. We fought so hard to make this relationship work. I suddenly felt extremely mad. So, I sat up to glare at him.

“You are not breaking up with me! Because if you are, just so you know, I will hunt you down! You’re not that difficult to find! I WILL find you! Do you understand me? You can’t do this to me. Don’t destroy what we have. You don’t have the right!”

I was angry. I was seething. But when I looked at him, I saw that he was smiling a little, trying hard to hide the fact that he was enjoying seeing me get mad at him.

He finally broke his staring contest with the ceiling and turned his head to look me.

“Calm down. I am not breaking up with you. Not now. Not ever,” he said.

“Oh?”

“It’s just that, I don’t really enjoy the fact that people think you’re single and available,” he said as he gets up and pulls me up to my feet.

“Oh.”

“I hate not being able to show off, especially when I’m dating such an awesome and talented girl,” he says while looking at me straight in the eyes.

“Oh…”

“I know I’m taking back my words when I suggest this but… Can I take you out on a date?” he asks.

“…” I don’t know why he’s even asking this. It’s not like we’ve never been on dates before. As you may have probably guessed, I’m clearly more confused than ever.

“A normal date. Not our kind of date. You know… A normal person kind of date. Without secrets, without hiding, and to put the rumors to a rest. You’re my girl, and I want every man in the universe to know that you are off limits.”

Then, he gave me a look that said, You understand what I’m saying, right?

And I did. I understood everything perfectly. So, without worries, and fuelled by nothing but my complete trust in him, I smiled back at him and answered,

“Yes.”

So the next day, we rode the subway and walked around Hongdae. We forced ourselves to forget who we were and acted like a normal couple. It became too crowded at one point but we enjoyed ourselves nevertheless.

And by the end of the day… Well… To explain it in the simplest way possible… We topped Naver’s search rankings.

And, he’s been put on house arrest. He didn’t resist at all. I think I even saw him smirk a bit when he got the call from his manager. Well, going out was his idea so I bet he had it coming.

So now, were just lounging around my room talking about anything and everything with a cup of coffee in hand. You know, just a normal ‘chat day’. But, with the looks and touches he’s been giving me now, I have a feeling this chat day might just turn into a ‘hot-and-steamy day’. Well, I’m not complaining.

Those days are my favorite.