eep cuts and crummy slits on wrists were nothing new to Kim Sung gyu. Years back, he had spent similar nights as now, huddled in the shadows of his bedroom and working with squinted eyes under the streetlights seeping in through the window, trying to calm his sister down as she trembled in hapless cold and fear, her lean, marble pale hand slit roughly along the edges and pouring crimson after each of her falls. And she fell quite often too. Not like you fall off the bicycle in your first ride or fall off a tree house while trying to climb up a swinging rope. It was a deep, bottomless black pit that she fell in to. She had explained to him once, how it felt like to be trapped in there. Those were the same words he had heard every time he had asked her why she cut herself. The black and hollow abyss, a long endless tunnel that she was dying to escape. Perhaps, dying, for them, was the only escape. Unless someone willingly brought a light into it.

And they never cut with the intention of dying, though death was the bottom line of it. They cut to stop the pain in their hearts. Maybe it diverted the pain, or the physical pain on their arms over powered that in their minds that they canceled off one another until all they felt was the harsh detachment. But the cuts, not well executed, never, seemed pretty painful for him. They always do those so vigorously. Not a single one. Not a cut deep enough to kill. It’s always a series of shallow lines with pinkish edges and an intense cry of pain in just the way they’ve painted them. Sung Gyu had always tried to imagine what his sister must have had in her mind while she did that to herself. He had asked her as she gently wrapped the bandage around the cuts that he had secretly tended to. It was the same answer she’s given him still. It was always the same. ‘I didn’t want to die’. And it never supplied the answer that he needed. It never answered the question ‘why’.

That night, after Eunji had come to him with a bloodied wrist and a tear stained face, begging for him to help her, all Sung gyu could do was recall the times his sister had done the same so many years ago and simply follow the same thing he did back then, which was to wordlessly comply. He led her into his house rather carefully, sat her down in the same sofa she was in earlier that day, and whispered to her to stay still until he brought the necessary things. Making sure he made absolutely no sound which was liable to wake Miru up (Miru was a strong kid for her age, but he still didn’t want her to have the scarring image of a bleeding hand in her untainted little mind) he filled a basin with warm water, grabbed a few towels and the first aid kit. He brought them into the living room and sat on the floor before her.

The two of them were quiet as he tended to her cuts. The wounds were strikingly similar to the ones he remembered. Yet he saw a strange uniqueness in the way the cuts were slanted to a side while his sister’s were always wriggly and lined along the length of her wrist. Eunji’s were slanted to a side, and she’s cut them across her wrist. Was it usual that they had their own unique way of cutting themselves?

Eunji hissed softly as the towel soaked in warm water finally touched her skin. But Sung gyu was careful enough to not to let it press on the wounds. He avoided them rather skillfully and wiped off the still fresh blood spilled out of them, painting her fair skin. The cuts were suddenly red, raw and painful once the crimson was wiped off them. He applied disinfectant, and was glad that they didn’t need stitches. Sung Gyu knew, for a fact that when they do this and come asking for help, the last thing they need for you to do is drag them to the hospital. Things like that should never happen against their consent. The first time they did this mistake, his sister had to see a psychiatrist and they had to file a police report on attempted suicide; she got recommended rehabilitation and everything else that made her feel sick and disoriented at that time. All of that song and dance did not stop her from cutting herself again. The second time she did, however, she came to his room and begged him to not to tell anybody. It was an advice he had since followed through and through.

After having treated the wounds, Sung Gyu slid onto the sofa beside her and slowly wrapped a clean white bandage around her hand, careful not to put too much pressure on her skin. As he did, he thought of what he told her earlier that day, and said in a mild voice. “I tend to be quite poetic when I say things to people whom I reckon are quite sensitive…it just comes from within”

Eunji looked at him in the darkness of the room, the same scrutinizing gaze, and Sung Gyu had to clear his throat. “You know, when I said about…” he carefully placed her bandaged wrist in her lap and looked up to meet her eyes. “What I tried to say was that you should really reach out to people, ask for their help and rely on them, because it’s the best way ahead…” He pursed his lips and his eyes focused on a darkened corner in the room. “You don’t have to fight this battle on your own, Eunji. There are plenty of people who’d give you a hand of support any day”

She was quiet for a moment, staring down at her wrist in new found appreciation. Her fingers gently danced along the bandage, as if it was something she’s seeing for the first time. Sung Gyu waited patiently. He let her take her time since it was something vital he should do. After a while, she finally looked up at him. And strangely, there was a tiniest hint of a smile. “Poetic is good” she said, and as if in reluctance, her smile grew wider, and then it turned into a sad curve. “I understood what you meant”

Sung gyu pursed his lips and nodded. “So, what do you think?”

Eunji took her time to contemplate things, the engines in her head were whirring and running, putting the words in order, processing them, analyzing them and bringing out what the answer should be.

“You’re sad yourself” she mumbled, and raised her head, looking up at the ceiling above them. “You have a daughter. You live on your own…and I have seen you cry”

And Sung Gyu knew she had. She’s been the quiet onlooker of his constant life-cycle of getting dumped and breaking into tears at his doorstep. She’s seen him going through all the good and bad things in life. But then, it didn’t bother him. Sung gyu might be sad. But he also had a few things to be happy about. And he never really had the intent to die. His sadness, though being persistent, had never extended to that point of despair.

“Nobody’s not sad, Eunji” He said mildly, his gaze softened along with his words. “Nobody is ever completely happy about their lives. But some of us choose to live through it. Some of us choose to go on living for the sake of ones whom we love. We find a reason to go on. We find ways to cope with it”

He reached out his hand and placed it tenderly on hers. “I’m not telling you to not to do it. I know how hard it can get. I’m only asking you to give it some more thought, find coping resources, maybe. See if you do still have a reason to go on living. I don’t want to come off as a selfish person trying to stop someone from doing what they’re so desperate to do. But judging by how things have happened at this moment, I strongly feel that you really don’t want to die. It’s just really not the end”

Eunji looked at him from the corner of her eyes, and he could see them red and raw, rimmed with tears. “How would you know….?”

Sung Gyu smiled and squeezed her hand gently. “Because I just do”

Sung gyu offered to make a mug of coffee for her after then, and this time, he made it with Sugar and cream, matching his own taste and poured it into the only other mug which he had other than his own which was previously owned by Hayoung, although she hardly drinks aromatic tea in a mug. He picked up a few cookies and set it all down in a tray, carried it to the living room, and set it all down before sitting on the sofa beside her. Then he picked up his own mug, had a sip and watched as Eunji, with rather reluctant hands, take a hold of her own.

“When I first got married to Hayoung,” Sung gyu said to Eunji then, bearing in mind that she has seen it all from the sidelines, and looked up to meet her eyes. “I really thought my life was finally falling into track. I’ve been a sad person all my life. But I suddenly was not one after she happened. Even more so after Miru did. In fact, it’s the happiest that I’ve ever been. I thought I finally found momentum at that point. To find happiness in the little things in life. To just live…but then…” He trailed off, took a long sip of the warm beverage and recalled back to the day when his wife walked out those doors to never return.

“The momentum disappeared” Eunji supplied. But it didn’t fit quite right. He breathed soundly, trying to put things together in his mind, and then shook his head. “Not entirely” He said, and looked up to meet her eyes. “The drive that I had at that moment, I’d say was stronger than it is now. But it never disappeared. The thing is, though; had Hayoung left on her expedition, carrying Miru with her, then I would have lost that momentum and purpose in life forever…” He thought about it for a moment, then and tilted his head. “I would have considered throwing my life down a building as well…”

Eunji sighed and the rim of her mug. “So I’m not the only one…”

“But no, I wouldn’t have acted upon it” He interjected her before she could assume any further. “It would only last as long as a mere thought does, because then I would have thought of my mother. But if Hayoung snatched my mother away from me as well, I still wouldn’t have done it. I know Hayoung left me. But that doesn’t necessarily mean she’d rather have me dead, now does it?”

Eunji pursed her lips, deep in her thoughts, and her hands tightened even more on the warm mug of coffee. She nodded her head. “But the circumstances here are much different” She said.

Sung Gyu was relieved that he had taken an effective entrance to the whole healing process rather than prancing into it. He didn’t do anything which would change her mind, regardless. He remained quiet, and by this silence he urged her to carry on.

“I think my mother and my boyfriend would rather have me dead” she said.

The tone of her voice, as she said this, has gone an octave lower, and he saw the slight tremble in her arms as if holding that mug was the only thing which would stop her from shaking and perhaps losing herself completely. Sung Gyu kept his own mug aside, moved closer so that their knees were touching; as if their close proximity would be of any consolation to her. “Why do you think so?”

Eunji let out a small, childlike sob. “I just know so” She said, looked down into the content of the mug and continued. “That reminds me…you told me about how people let go of things that they’re afraid to lose, thinking that someone else would take better care of it?”

“Hm?” Sung Gyu nodded. “What about it?”

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and took her time to gather her mind. Right at that moment, she looked beautiful. Angelic. And for once, with her eyes closed, Sung Gyu could actually read her innermost emotions. He could see right through her without seeing into the mirrors of her eyes. And it was ethereal. He himself, took a long, deep breath; restraining himself from reaching out and holding her to wash that pain away.

“When I was still young” She began, and finally fluttered open her eyes. “After my younger sister was born, my mum did exactly that” she sighed at this point, as if recalling this memory was physically exhausting. “She gave her away to someone. I don’t know whom, because I was still very young back then. When I asked, she said my sister was too much a hassle for her. I cried then, I remember that quite clearly. I grew up as an only child to a neglecting mother and an abusive father. When my sister was born, I thought I finally had someone to share my life with. But then, in a matter of days, she was given away to someone. That day, I resented my mum. I resented her for a long time. I became an aggressive child, and it often angered my dad, and the amount of beating I got from him just increased. My mum did try to protect me, but she was hopeless against him. It only made me more violent; towards my mother, my father. Just about everyone…” she was in tears then, and her voice was getting smaller and smaller until it was the voice that Sung gyu had imagined for the trembling little inner being of her to have. He had the burning urge to hold her in his arms and allow her to cry on his shoulders. But he also knew that she wanted to release all her pain from her mind. Now just wasn’t the right time.

“It was when I turned fourteen that I realized why my mum gave my sister away to someone. It all suddenly made sense” She continued, and sobbed so loudly that it broke his heart. “My dad…he touched me. He touched me in a way that no father should touch their own daughter…he ruined me, completely. I might as well have been dead by then”

Something broke inside him at that moment. Something just snapped, completely, and he felt his stomach churning at her words, at the sense they made, at everything. He clenched his fists, and in his mind there were all sorts of scenarios running. As a father for a daughter himself, Sung Gyu understood how much he means to her. Things must have been different for her, having a mother and also him being abusive towards her. Yet, there’s nothing, nothing which could justify a father, or any man being physically and mentally harmful to a little girl. They should rot in hell. They should be entitled to the same kind of suffering that they’ve put those young girls through. Or even more so. He couldn’t hold himself back then. As he looked into her eyes now, he could see that little girl in her. Shattered and broken, her childhood and innocence snatched away from her. He could see her trembling in fear, tender and small, searching for warmth to curl in for comfort she’s never felt before. His fatherly instincts bloomed inside him before even he could stop himself. Sung gyu suddenly wanted to protect her, like he would an untainted little child.

“Oh Eunji” he whispered, moved towards her and gently folded her in his arms. And she melted into him, almost naturally, found her solace in the eternal warmth of his embrace. He could feel her grasp onto his shirt, and her tears seeped through the material onto his skin. She sobbed almost soundlessly, and she let him.

“Ssh, It’s okay now. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to” he murmured into her hair, which strongly smelled of the early spring breeze.

“No” Eunji responded and shook her head against him. She pulled away then, and wiped her face with the back of her hands. Sung Gyu reached out, picked out another one of Miru’s old flannel napkins and pushed it into her hand. She looked down at the adorable, faded little teddy prints on it, and it made her smile. Eunji smiling, with her face still contorted with tears, was oddly breathtaking. It caught Sung Gyu’s heart by surprise.

“T-they’re so cute” She mumbled and pressed her face into it. “And it still smells like a baby”

Sung gyu smiled and gently ruffled her hair. “That’s because she still is” He said.

She smiled back, more to herself; and her fingers slowly traced the bear patterns on the napkin as if deep in her thoughts. Sung Gyu moved further away from her, giving her space to herself and also relieved that she was finally pretty much back to herself, if not, a little better, and patiently waited for her to continue.

“I hated her” Eunji said, and her voice was then a little tougher than before. “I hated her after that. I hated my sister even more. The sister whom I didn’t even know. It’s just that…after that happened, I strongly felt that the only purpose of mum giving her away for adoption was to protect her from what my father was capable of. And she was unable to do that for me. I asked her, on and on why she couldn’t do that to me as well. I know, it’s selfish in a way. But the pain I had to go through was much stronger; and thinking that it’s my mother who married him and stayed with him regardless of what he did to us, it was all fair from my part.” She paused to take a deep breath and shook her head in disapproval, possibly of her mother’s vile decision at that time. “She said she thought she could protect me, and that if there were two of us, she would never have been able to protect us both. Like you said, she entrusted her for better care…but then she couldn’t do it for me. Neither could she protect me. It was clear that, more than the hope of protecting me, the true intention of her raising me was to give herself a reason to go on living. You get what I mean? By convincing herself that she had a child to protect, regardless of her doing it or not, she gave herself fake reassurance that she had to pull through all of it, and also that she could” Another shake of head in disapproval, and in her face was a look of anger, sorrow and pure resentment. “The real monster in this whole thing is her, you know. The biggest monster is my mum...”

Sung Gyu’s hand slowly patted on her arm in an attempt to sooth her. “D-did your mum…know about what happened?”

“Of course” Eunji nodded, her voice regained that strength. “I told her. Not only did I tell her; I made a whole mess out of it. I went to the police, confessed everything, got my dad arrested, and stayed in rehabilitation for two years. I missed years of my school education, lived in loath, anger and self-pity. And after all of that, I had to come out and back to my mother. She was, she is, all I have”

“And where is she now?” He asked after having his doubts cleared of her being still alive.

“In an elder’s home in downtown Seoul.” Eunji responded, and by her tone Sung gyu could say that she honestly didn’t give much care. “She’s not old so to say to be staying at an elder’s home. She’s working there. Taking care of the old people and earning for herself. Sometimes she sends me a grand. And I spend it all in a whim because I don’t even want her in my life, let alone her money”

Sung Gyu pressed his lips in a tight line, thinking of his own mother, calling him up every night, just to check his well-being and talking up girls with golden teeth in her jaw all for his sake. It’s strange how two mothers could be so different. Yet again, she sent her money; and you couldn’t possibly earn a lot from working at an elder’s home, so that money she sent had to mean something. But for that moment, it seemed like a problem he should rather evade talking. After all, he didn’t know her, he didn’t know Eunji as much as she knew him. And all that he did know was in courtesy of Eunji, and all of it could be biased to some extent, given that it came from the girl who had so much hatred towards her mother.

“You don’t contact her much often?” he pressed on. Eunji shook her head.

“Hardly” She gave a mono syllabled response. “The only good thing was that she isn’t the kind of a mum who gets drunk and passes out on roads…also she really, genuinely is regretting things….” And in an end note, she added. “And I’m glad she’s having that entire mental suffering on her own. I hope she’d go through the trauma that I did. I really, really hope she’d regret not giving me away until the end of her life”

Sung gyu had never heard anyone speak of a mother with so much of spite, ever in his life. And so it gave him the impression that the trauma that Eunji had gone through was much worse than he could imagine. Perhaps it was fair that she felt that way towards her. Perhaps, the fact, or idea that her mother was suffering was giving her even a smallest bit of consolation to have had gone through something so terrible and still lived. The thing is, Sung Gyu could never say. He just couldn’t. Sung Gyu himself was brought up in an ordinary family. They weren’t very well off, but they had enough. And while his father was still alive, him being their happy pill while Sung Gyu was a little dull and boring at that age, the four of them really hadn’t much to worry about. Perhaps that’s why his death brought on so much of pressure to them, especially to his sister who was the closest to his father. Perhaps it was the reason why she fell into a state of depression. Yet, now that he thought of it (assuming that Eunji was also diagnosed of the same, terrible sickness) his sister’s and Eunji’s problems were simply incomparable. And as much as he refrained comparing and seeing who had it worse, it happened, all too naturally. The obvious answer was, just as he imagined, her; Eunji. Then what was it that which led his sister to take her life while Eunji had escaped it, as of now, perhaps, more times than once? He thought it was the reasons they had to live for; but while Eunji seemed to have absolutely none, his sister had plenty. He thought it was the lack of coping mechanisms. Yet again, his sister had a lot more than Eunji seemingly had. It was a question he’d rather have no answers to, however. Because he knew, if he thought of it now, he’d wish he had done something for his sister than he ever did. He’d wish, god forbid, his sister had whatever the luck that Eunji did.

But Sung Gyu wouldn’t speak of any of this. He simply shoved all these thoughts into the gutter and prepared himself to help her through in all the possible ways. In a few hours, he had to wake up for work, hang the clothes he couldn’t hang up to dry earlier that day, take Miru to school and do all the usual fatherly work he had to do every day. He was sleepy, exhausted and extremely sleep deprived. He could sit here and dream of the comfort of his bed and drift off in a matter of seconds. But at that moment, Eunji, sitting there with her life balanced on the edge of a blade was more important than anything. For now, his intent was to stop another tragedy as of his sister from repeating. And he was already hell bent on doing that.

He continued to ask her questions; but rather than touching the sensitive topic of mothers, which he was finding quite hard to cope with, he asked about her boyfriend instead.

She wasn’t reluctant to disclose any details of her failed relationship. He was shocked at first, at how blunt and even unconvincing she could be about it. “I dumped him” she said, and Sung Gyu couldn’t exactly pin point what he felt about it, after having been the consecutive dumped person for as long as he remembered. He tried to be unbiased about it. Rather, he convinced himself that this man was worth being dumped, and was nothing more of a sweetheart than himself.

And he was right.

“He said he’d date me but never marry me, one day” Eunji explained her reason to have dumped this boyfriend of hers. “Because he had someone else in mind as a potential marriage partner” she was pulling at the edges of the napkin as she said this, and Sung gyu could see her obvious wrath towards this person by the way she had contorted the stitches of the cloth, and she didn’t even know what she was doing.

“I mean; I might have had…problems in my life. But I had left them all behind now. I’m trying to live an ordinary life; I’m trying. Besides, what’s so bad about me to not to marry me? I cook, I earn. I don’t look too bad. What did she have better than me for her to be more of a suitable candidate?”

Eunji’s grumbles were cute, even though she was telling him about a rather serious problem. He just watched her, fighting a smile from his side, and had to return to a complete, hard-eyed frown when she turned towards him, asking for his opinion.

“You date a girl with the intention of marring her, right? It’s the bottom line of it. It’s like, the whole point of getting a girlfriend. What’s the point of having one if you’re going to dump her for a wife, right?”

Sung gyu blinked, surprised by how animated she suddenly was after all the grieving had subsided. Her eyes were alive again. And they were dancing. They were inflicting so many different emotions; from sadness, to anger to hatred to grit. Just looking at her confused his own feelings that he took a while to realize that he was supposed to offer his opinion. He cleared his throat, and thought about all the girls he’s gotten dumped by. There were so many of them. He was surprised himself.

“Well, marriage is the ultimatum of a romantic relationship” he said dumbly. “So I suppose it’s vital that you consider marriage first before you find a romantic partner. I mean, these relationships do fall apart, for obvious and sometimes inevitable reasons. But if it was a case like yours, well then, it shouldn’t have happened the first place”

“Exactly my point” Eunji responded.

“So what did you do?”

“I asked him to go and himself. Then I walked away”

Sung gyu felt a giggle coming up his throat, and he suppressed it with much effort.

“So did he?”

“No” Eunji shrugged. Her face fell, and all the animation she had just a while ago began to slowly dissipate. “I stopped talking to him. Basically, I cut him off my life. But then…he started going berserk. He keeps troubling me. Even now. Endless phone calls and constantly trying to contact my friends and stalking me all the time” She sighed and leaned back into the sofa, finally letting the napkin fall into her lap. “He stays outside where I work until I got out of it, walks behind me and keeps asking me things like, ‘Do you still love me?’, ‘What did I do wrong?’ like he doesn’t know anything. I try to avoid him in the best way I could. But it’s getting out of hand”

She looked up to meet his gaze, and Sung gyu looked back at her, her hopeful eyes were searching, as if he was the only source of support that she had. “Now he has gotten his friends to threaten me over the phone. They say that they’d kidnap me, and stuff like that. I’m so worried. And I have the impression that he’d either have me dating him, or have me killed”

Sung Gyu nodded, realizing that he’s much worse of a dumped boyfriend than Sung gyu has ever been. The last time Sung gyu went to that extent of stalking was years ago, and all he did was calling the girl’s then boyfriend and asking him if he was sure the girl was having it any better than before. And it didn’t end up well either.

“Have you tried to, like, talk about it properly? Like, tell him that you want to end things?” He asked, because, in his experience, not getting a closure was the start of all the desperate ex-boyfriend stalking.

“I thought telling him to off did give him a fair idea”

Sung Gyu almost face palmed himself. No. he actually did.

“So that’s all you told him? Just go and himself, that’s it?”

“Well…” Eunji pouted, and shrugged, casting her eyes downwards, a simple and a clear implication that she had indeed, done exactly that. Sung gyu was kind of glad that now this was the kind of a problem that he could actually solve, with his abundance of experience himself.

“Eunji, that’s exactly the problem” Sung Gyu said, his voice coated in gravity and he leaned forward, imagining that it would actually knock some sense into her. “He never got a closure. You never gave him a closure. In his mind, you two are still together. A fight doesn’t really end anything. And us men tend to chase after it until we’ve gotten the answers”

Eunji continued to pucker her lips, which was adorable and kind of made Sung gyu feel all kinds of things. But she looked like she needed serious help in this department. Men are probably the most sensitive creatures in the whole biological organisms’ system. And him, as a man who had experienced the unfairness of women’s ambiguity one too many times, could clearly understand that.

“Look. The thing is, Eunji, for men a relationship isn’t over until you say it’s over. And you got to do it the right way. Telling him to go himself doesn’t exactly make the cut”

She made a face. “Then what does?”

“Long and detailed explanations. A last cup of coffee. Slamming the ring on the table. Clearly stating that you’re done with him and as end note, ‘Don’t call me, don’t message me, don’t drop me to the bus stop, don’t even breath the same air as I do’, and walking away, might help” he said.

Jung Eunji laughed at this. She actually did. Her head was thrown back, her eyes squinted and forming crescent moons. Her bangs had fallen to a side and was wide open, revealing a pearly white set of teeth (Minus a gold tooth) and it was all kinds of nice and beautiful. Perhaps, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen for a very long time. Her laughter was loud, chilled and merry. Like a nice, drizzly cold rain in a scorching hot summer day. It was refreshing and breathtaking. Sung Gyu could sit down and listen to it every day.

“You’re so funny, Sung Gyu-Ssi” She wheezed once her hysterics had finally died down. “You really are. And it made my day”

Sung Gyu looked at the clock which read the time as already past twelve. It was the beginning of another day. So he smiled. “I’m glad I did”

She nodded, and went quiet for a while, a slightest of a smile was gracing her soft, pink lips. Sung gyu waited too, and as he did, he looked at her. He stole glances of her, rather. And it made his heart do funny things. So he looked away.

“You know what, Sung Gyu-Ssi?” She murmured in the end, and Sung Gyu had to will himself to turn around and look at her while simultaneously not feel intimidated by it. “Hm?” he encouraged her.

“I wish all the people could be as nice as you” she said. Sung Gyu felt his heart beat rise, which was rather strange; and blood descended to his face, turning both his years red. It’s been years since anyone said something so nice to him. In fact, the last time someone did, it was Hayoung. And it was the message she gave him over the phone, which stayed with him. And somehow, he realized, quite later that is, that these simple words from her, he’d probably carry them with him for a long, long way.

The night had to end soon, then, when Sung Gyu let out a huge, unexcused yawn, with tears forming in his eyes due to sleep deprivation. Eunji had a good laugh at his expression as well, which was a good way to end a long, tiring, and a rather peculiar day. But Sung Gyu was still reluctant to let her off on her own, regardless of her good mood which was liable to change any moment now. So as Sung Gyu stood up and gathered the half-emptied coffee mugs along with the untouched cookies, he said; “You can stay over here, you know…”

The moment he caught her eyes, Sung Gyu realized that he might have phrased it all wrong. So he added quickly, in an attempt of controlling the damage; “I mean. I’m a bit worried about you to leave you by yourself. I’d rather if I could keep a close eye on you”

Eunji’s face softened; and the look in her eyes gave them life. “Why are you putting so much trouble on yourself?” She asked mildly. “And I don’t want to trouble you”

‘Because I want you to live’ he wanted to say. ‘Because I don’t want events from five years ago to repeat themselves’

Instead, however, he picked up the tray and proceeded to carry them in to the kitchen. “You can sleep in Miru’s room. You don’t mind right?” he called from the kitchen, straining his ears to hear her response. “I’ll carry Miru to mine, it’s not a problem”

There was a moment of silence, and a small voice responded to him from the doorway of the kitchen.

“Anything will be fine”

~*~

The plan of her sleeping over at his place continued for the next two days as well. It was quite refreshing, nonetheless. It gave him a good, relaxing feeling which he was also too afraid to acknowledge. For one, it’s been years since he last walked into the kitchen to find a woman working, actually working in there. Eunji prepared breakfast for all three of them for three consecutive mornings; and it wasn’t just the same old bread and butter and cereals the two of them have been having for over a year now. Eunji prepared proper home-made traditional breakfast, with her heart and soul put into it. It's been ages since he last had such an array of food for breakfast. His mother had done this for him quite a few times when she’d come over; which she hadn’t after she moved in with one of his aunts who lived quite far from where he lived. And Eunji’s cooking was nice too. It had this nice, warm and homey feeling to it, to have her serving them every morning this way. She kept saying that it was only her paying her gratitude to him for being so kind to her; but still Sung Gyu always felt like he owed something bigger for all that she did.

Eunji worked at a record studio. Or rather, she owned one. Her one and only dream, since childhood, was to be a singer, become popular, and rise to the stardom. But with all the difficulties in life, she fell back while climbing up the ladder. And like they say how you fall into a coco tree when you aim your jump to a star, Eunji ended up becoming a recording artist herself. She said she composed small pieces of music and sold them to small you-tube artists and indie groups in the town. She also rented out the record studio for them; whereby they recorded their pieces for a small grand, made a few copies and lined up in front of entertainment agencies or concert venues of popular bands and boy/girl groups to slip a copy of their original music to an agency representative. Eunji said she didn’t know how many times this had worked out. Some groups returned to her to record another piece. Some returned with smiles and occasional gifts and gratitude for her hard work. Some didn’t return at all; simply dissipating into the shadows of the darkened alleys on the way to the stardom. It wasn’t exactly a selling job, according to her. But it earned enough to feed her and pay the rents. Also, since it was something that she absolutely loved doing, it didn’t have to be fulfilling in every aspect. For her, it was enough.

She also promised to take him to see it, one of those days, and he really wished that one day would come.

On Friday of that week, Sung Gyu decided to really put all his rescue plans into act. After having put Miru to bed, he and Eunji sat in the narrow confines of the kitchen, surrounded by the dirty, plied up plates and empty food wrappers, and he pulled out his laptop computer, produced a stack of papers and got down to work.

“Are you going to make me do your bank ledger?” Eunji asked curiously as the two of them waited for the computer to start up.

“Not exactly” Sung gyu said, and put on his wire rimmed spectacles. Everyone has told him that they looked really good on him, that he decided to keep them on instead of going for contacts so that he could check his prospects with women again. Also he kind of liked the nerdy look that they gave him. When he looked at Eunji under those glasses, he could see that his plan had been indeed effective. Eunji had turned slightly red.

“So what’s it?” she breathed out. Sung Gyu picked up the pen, pulled the papers towards him and drew a straight vertical line right in the middle of the paper. On the right side, he wrote; ‘Problems to be solved’. On the other side he wrote. ‘Coping mechanisms’.

Eunji read the content and frowned. “What exactly are we doing?”

“Some therapeutic, psychological stuff” he said and pulled the computer towards him. Before he proceeded to type in his search, he asked her as soon as it occurred to him. “Ah, by the way, Eunji. You are seeing a psychiatrist, right?’

From all the nightly conversations he had had with her during the past two days, he had a vague memory of her mentioning this.

Eunji nodded in response. “Yeah…well, although I hate going to him, he just keeps pestering me. He’s very persistent…” A moment of silence. “Also, he’s nice” she added.

“What’s his name?” Sung Gyu asked rather distractedly.

“Jang Dong Woo. He’s not that popular, but he’s the son of the doctor I consulted while I was in rehab”

“That’s good” he said, and then continued to type in what he was initially planning to. “You see, I was going through things that we could do together if you want to, you know, have things sorted out. But they say that you need a balance of things between pills, therapy and day-to-day coping and support. So I couldn’t really start anything unless you’re already in the process of taking pills and therapy”

He cleared his throat and asked in an afterthought. “Do you think I can trust you about you attending your therapy sessions and taking your pills daily? Or should I just contact your doctor?”

Eunji just shrugged, and it provided him all the answers he needed, so he pestered her himself and finally got down the doctor’s number to call him at a later time.

“I don’t think we should go down into all the scientific details which you might already know” he explained as he scrolled down the content on his computer. “Let’s just get down to the important bits. To start off…. well, suicidal feelings…”

The two of them worked on it for a while. Sung Gyu explained to her, based on what he had read, what these suicidal thoughts were all about and how they appeared when her problems couldn’t balance out with coping mechanisms; like a math equation. If her mind was a two-sided scale, the more problems you had, the more depressed and dragged down you’d be, which leads into hostile thoughts of ending yourself. To prevent this, you find ways to deal with these, which were the coping mechanisms. The more you have them, the lesser you’d be liable to be dragged down. These mechanisms included therapy, counselling, problem solving as well as spending time with friends and family, making the people around you understand your condition, keeping your physical health and hygiene positive, regular check-ups, taking your pills correctly, and so on. He had her list them down on the paper he prepared, which she did, complaining that he was being unreasonably like a school teacher, and once that part was done, they returned to the part where the problems present were concerned.

“Why do we have to do this like a college research?” Eunji further grumbled on. “And I haven’t even been to college. These stuff are difficult”

Sung Gyu smiled and ruffled her hair. “Well, you can’t expect any less from a bank manager”

“Tsk, like it matters” She pouted, and started to draw stick figures around their very important document.

“So, to begin with, what do you think are problems in your life, Eunji? What makes things difficult for you?”

Eunji thought long and hard and said. “Mmm, math?”

Sung Gyu rolled his eyes. “This is serious, Eunji” he said, snatched the pen from her hand and wrote; ‘Not in good terms with mum’ in the ‘problems to solve’ section.

“What else?”

This time, Eunji responded with graveness and honestly. “Woohyun”

Sung Gyu pressed the pen to the paper, yet retracted, slightly perplexed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That’s my crazy, stalking boyfriend” Eunji said, sounding as if it was something he should have known from the very beginning.

“That’s his name?”

“Yup.” Eunji nodded. “Also, he’s one of the guys who comes to the record studio, and has been passing his originals to agency representatives for years now” she picked at her fingers as she spoke with much concentration. “He has a good voice. But the problem is with his genre. I mean, dance music is good; but he goes better with ballads. I have told him this a lot of times. But he’d so obtuse. A dimwit. And he’s too short to have a big head like that. That’s probably why he never made the cut”

“Hm” Sung Gyu grunted and wrote in the chart, not having anything to comment about the crazy, stalking, dimwit ex-boyfriend.

“Anything else?”

“The record store rent” she said. “Actually, I bought it with a bank loan. It’s not a rent, per se, but repaying the loan with interest? The problem is with having no money to pay it, as well as my lack of understanding of the whole process”

Sung Gyu smiled at this, and wrote down in the chart. “Well, that’s something I can help you out with. What’s the bank?”

“Hana”

“Terrific” Sung Gyu said and put down his pen. “That’s exactly where I work. Anything else to add to the list?”

Eunji shrugged. “Not as of now”

“Okay” Sung Gyu said, picked up the diagram he so profusely made and analyzed it with squinted eyes. “Well, what do we start with?”

“Woohyun” Eunji said, almost in urgency, and Sung Gyu peeked from behind the paper that he held. “That’s where you want to start with?”

“That’s what I want to have ended soon” Eunji said. And Sung Gyu set down the paper on the table. “Great” he said and pulled out another blank paper out of the stack, laid it over the one he previously used and drew a stick figure on it, which was short and had a massive round head with spiky hair, slanted eyes, huge ears with ear studs as big as his eye balls and a smile which he assumed looked stupid. Then he wrote beside the stick figure of Woohyun; ‘How to bring the dimwitted Woohyun with contradictory ideas to an absolute closure’. He underlined it with two wriggly lines for a last touch up and finally sat straight, admiring all the hard work he put into it. “There”

“Is this Woohyun?” Eunji pointed at the stick figure, and laughed.

“Has to be” Sung Gyu said, not a least bit fazed by her laughter. “I mean, that obtuse head is big. And he’s short. He definitely doesn’t make the cut”

Eunji laughed even more. She laughed so much that she ended up hiccupping and wheezing, which was a good thing and it made him smile. Then she placed a hand on his arm and made a scarily straight face.

“But you wouldn’t believe it when you see him” she said.

“You mean, the size of his head?”

Eunji laughed. “No! How handsome he is” She widened her eyes and nodded her head. “Really. Handsome.”

“Oh” Sung Gyu said, and really tried to ignore it. He looked at his dull, ugly stick figure, and then he suddenly didn’t feel so good. “Oh…”

~*~

The next morning, first things first, he rung Eunji’s psychiatrist, Jang Dong Woo. The conversation was a rather comical one which he didn’t expect. He was a very cheerful person for a doctor who’s dealing with sad, miserable people at a regular basis and had a habit of making a boisterous laughter every ten seconds during the phone conversation. Sung Gyu had never had anyone laughing so much over the phone, and he was confused himself, at a complete loss that he only opted to giving a fake ‘Ha. Ha. Ha.’ When that happened. And Eunji was in the kitchen, making breakfast and giving him rather complacent looks as if she had profusely put him through all this trouble. But Doctor Jang was very positive about her. He kept saying that Eunji was a strong girl who always showed prospects of complete recovery and that he had his absolute faith on her. He of course, knew about her constant suicide attempts. She’s stayed at hospital for an overdose once, and then spent another three months in rehab. He has gotten her to stay over at his place (with his mum, of course, followed by boisterous laughter) and he always makes sure she’s well attended to. And when she doesn’t attend the therapy sessions, he takes the therapy sessions to her home. “And she hates it!” Dong Woo exclaimed cheerfully as if it was actually something to laugh about. And then he added in a milder tone, “But I really, really want her to live. She’s a strong girl. She has a beautiful life ahead, and I want her to realize that”

Then Sung gyu consulted him on the plan of helping her with coping with her emotional turmoil. Doctor Jang supposed that it was a good thing, that she had a strong emotional support. However, he wanted to know of Sung Gyu’s personal background before allowing him to take up the task. So he told him. He told him he was a single father to a four-year-old daughter and he and his wife separated on good terms and he had his mother after his father passed away in a heart attack. He didn’t disclose anything about his sister, nonetheless. He thought it would be too much of information, and also put him in a vulnerable position. Doctor Jang said he was good to go. Yet added, in a warning tone; “But remember, you’re not a real therapist. You have to understand what you’re dealing with. She’s not an ordinary girl, so anything you do could send her tumbling down the hill. Just make sure she attends to her treatments well, and do the kind of things which only support her emotionally…I am sure you’re a good person with good intentions. And I’m trusting you”

After the phone call, he walked into the kitchen to find Eunji carrying Miru around against her hip, asking in a small voice what she’d rather have for breakfast instead of porridge which she hated very much. And this made him smile. She made him smile very often with her sweet but random gestures. For someone who tried to repetitively kill herself, Eunji really carried a very mild soul. She was a beautiful person. And it made him feel funny but wonderful things. She really deserved to live a long life; and if he didn’t manage to give it to her, it would be a loss to the entire world.

During breakfast, as Miru rather ungracefully stuffed her face with the pancakes Eunji made all for her, Sung Gyu pulled out the stack of papers from the other night, slipped on his spectacles and looked at Eunji over the rim. “We’ve something to today” he said and held out the sheet of paper which said ‘How to bring the dimwitted Woohyun with contradictory ideas to an absolute closure’ For the others to see. Miru looked up from her plate and squinted at the drawing on the paper.

“Daddy, who is this?” she wanted to know.

“That’s Woohyun Ahjussie, sweetheart” he explained and looked over at Eunji with his sparkling eyes. “He was mean to this lady here so we’re going to tell him to stop”

Miru tilted her head. “But why?”

“Because he’s not a nice person” Sung gyu said.

“But why?”

Sung Gyu sighed. “Because he just isn’t”

Eunji laughed, and Miru pointed at Stick-Figure-Dimwit Woohyun’s exceptionally huge head. “What is this daddy?”

Sung Gyu looked at the drawing and smiled. “That’s his head”

“But why is it so big?”

Miru really was a very curious child, and she always had so many questions to ask, to which Sung gyu very patiently replied, although he always felt like snapping. “Because it is” he said, and this time, instead of just sitting there and laughing, Eunji stepped in to the rescue by diverting the conversation to an adult topic.

“So we’re going ahead with it today itself?”

Sung gyu nodded and reached out to wipe maple syrup off Miru’s fluffy cheek. “The sooner, the better”

So Sung Gyu had Eunji to call this guy up and plan a meeting for them in the afternoon. Eunji said she’d rather do it privately, preferably over a text message, but then Sung Gyu insisted that she did it over a call, and also have it on loud speaker so that he could hear their conversation and send warning signals if anything was going out of hand.

While Miru busied herself with playing house with her handless Barbie doll and her stuffed dolphin, Sung Gyu and Eunji sat on the floor in the living room, surrounded by all the stray toys and piles and piles was dirty and washed laundry. Eunji dialed the number which she had saved as ‘Woohyun Oppa’ and waited until he picked up, fidgeting with her fingers during the wait.

And Woohyun did, after the seventh ring. When he spoke, however, Sung Gyu was stunned by the deep and resonant sound of his voice. By the tone of it, he could say that this definitely was a singer, and that his voice was unquestionably made for a balladeer. He could understand why Eunji was getting so worked-up with him deciding to do dance music, because if it was him, he would do the same.

And he didn’t sound like a creepy, stalking ex-lover at all. Tragically, he sounded more like a smooth and romantic, daring boyfriend, which was contradictory in itself. Sung gyu was pleasantly surprised.

“Eunji? Hey, how have you been? It’s so hard to contact you, now” he said, and Sung gyu could hardly believe this was the man Eunji had said wanted her killed. He sounded more like the ideal Oppa who’d buy you the moon if he had to.

Eunji on the other hand didn’t seem like she’d want to deal with any of his . Sung Gyu could say, just by her expression that she knew him very well to not to be fooled by this.

“Look, Woohyun Oppa” she said, and her saying that word made him cringe. “We need to meet up”

“Meet up?” Woohyun’s voice went an octave higher. “Wow…I thought you’d never ask me this. Why? You suddenly realized that there isn’t anyone like me?”

There. Sung Gyu totally lost his impression that he was an ideal boyfriend at that point. Woohyun wasn’t an ideal boyfriend. He was snarky, cocky and an actual dimwit. He could almost imagine him with a big head and big ear studs, shaking his head at everything she said.

“It isn’t that” Eunji said through gritted teeth, and Sung gyu could see how much she was trying to suppress herself from exploding. “Listen. I want us to come to a closure. That’s what we’re going to talk about.”

“Closure?” Woohyun repeated even louder, as if it was something unheard of. “Why do we need a closure? We were good together, Eunji. We were possibly the most perfect couple in the whole of Seoul, and you know that”

Sung gyu wanted to laugh. He really wanted to. Eunji was right. This guy was total dull-witted. Which man in his right mind would even say something like that? And he was really an idiot. If Sung gyu would ever personally meet him, the first thing he would do is punch him square on his face and make him understand that he and Eunji was never the most perfect couple in the whole of Seoul, especially if he tried to get his friends kidnap her for the sake of it.

And Eunji too, was trying her best to keep herself from going completely bonkers. This guy could run anyone bonkers, if that was a thing. “Well you were the one who said you would…ah never mind!”

“I was the one who said what?” Woohyun pushed on. “I said what, Eunji?”

“I said never mind!”

“What do you mean, never mind? You can’t never mind it! I want to know what I did wrong!”

Sung gyu really wanted to punch this bloke right through the phone, and he really wished he could. It was a good thing that they were seeing this guy in the afternoon, if he ever agreed to it, that is. And when they do, and when Sung Gyu would pass by him, he would make sure he would give him the most blood chilling glare that he could muster.

And just at that point, Miru stood up and waddled over to the two of them. Then she yelled, loud enough to be carried through the phone. “Daddy!”

And Woohyun, just as expected, caught the wrong end of it. “Daddy? Yah, Eunji, what are you doing there? Who’s there with you? Why are they saying daddy?”

Sung gyu would throw the phone across the room if he had to. “It’s just a-!” Eunji started, sighed in exasperation and dragged a hand down her face. “Never mind, just tell me where you want to meet”

Afterwards, Sung Gyu let them continue the call in private which included a whole lot of frustrated grumbling through teeth, quiet swearing and stomping all over the floor from her side, but eventually they came to the agreement of meeting up that afternoon over ice-cream (Ice-cream?!?) and talk about their ill-fated love life.

That afternoon, Sung Gyu got into a T-shirt and jeans, topped it with an old blue jacket, put Miru into her favorite dress and allowed her to have it when she wanted to wear her much-loved devil-horn head band to go out for ice cream and waited for Eunji to return from her home, where she went to get changed. Sung gyu was all up for it and even had a well prepared crisis plan in case there was a crisis in the process of breaking up. Although it was quite hard to imagine two people having a love quarrel while holding candy-floss ice cream in a place full of pastel colored deco, children and smitten couples, Sung Gyu could never be certain of what turns they could take. He wrote everything down in a piece of paper, in case he needed it, including the things he could do, places they could go if Eunji lost her calm. He had it neatly folded and safely tucked into his jacket pocket. As a lonely bank manager who hardly ever had anything happening in his life, Sung Gyu found this entire ordeal kind of exciting. But of course, being dumped wasn’t exciting. Neither was being a quiet eye-witness of someone else being dumped. But it added a least bit of color to his boring life, to have a woman’s presence after the last time he did. He also had the feeling that he might make the most use out of it.

Eunji came out in a brown sued skirt down to an inch above her knees, a sweater and a jacket topping it off, her hair let down and a hint of make-up on her eyes and her lips. “Do I look okay?” She asked, and instead of saying Yes, yes! Very much so, you look gorgeous! In a pretty stalker-ish way (despite the fact that it’s pretty much how he felt at that moment) Sung gyu just shrugged and tilted his head. “Well, is it important to look okay if you’re going there to dump your boyfriend?”

Eunji made a long, straight face which was almost terrifying. “I want to look good so that he would see how better off I am without him” She said.

~*~

While in Sung Gyu’s car, on the way to the designated destination, Eunji explained why they were going to have a love quarrel at an ice cream place.

“Woohyun is stingy” she said as she made a sour face at the thought of it. “And Ice cream is possibly the only thing he could afford, at any rate. I also understand that he’s been spending most of what he earns on making pieces to pass on to company people. But still, he need to understand it himself that he couldn’t afford to have a perfect and expensive girlfriend let alone to marry one. And I never complained. Hell, I probably even had more money than he ever did, but I never complained. And he had to go ahead and do this”

Quietly, as he only managed to give a hum in acknowledgement of her explanation while he drove, Sung Gyu decided that this Woohyun person really, really deserved to be dumped. At an ice cream place, any less.

But when they finally arrived at the ice cream place and when Eunji rather subtly directed him and his kid to a table in a clear but unobvious proximity to a table by the window, Sung Gyu was soon convinced otherwise. He looked at the man sitting there by the glass panel, with the white sun seeping through and casting on him and all, and wondered why anyone, let alone Eunji herself would want to dump a man like him. And Then Sung gyu was sad. Suddenly it looked like Sung gyu was the man who deserved to be dumped (also was dumped) by any woman he meets than this man will ever be.

Woohyun was completely different from the Woohyun of whom he had a vague picture formed in his mind. He was the total opposite of the Woohyun he had drawn in the sheet of paper from last night. Woohyun in real person hadn’t a big head. It was small, in just the right shape and size, and his tuft of shaggy black hair was neatly brushed to a side, forming a perfect comma falling on his forehead. His eyes were small and always smiling even when his lips weren’t, and his skin was as smooth as of a girl. He didn’t wear ear studs the size of his face either. He didn’t wear any at all. And no, unlike he assumed, Woohyun wasn’t wearing ripped jeans or studded biker jackets or grease in his hair. He was dressed in a blue pull-over over a crisp white shirt, and shiny new wrist watch and jeans, an outfit he’d have imagined for a school teacher to wear rather than someone who made street music, made CD’s and stood outside in the hot sun for a company representative to pass by. And most importantly. He was so prim, proper and polite. Just like his voice first sounded over the phone. He looked nothing like a man who followed his ex-girlfriend in the night, made creepy phone calls and got his friends to kidnap her, or someone who’d rather have her killed. Sung gyu was confused. Also, it all made sense. A guy like him would have a girlfriend, dump her and dream about marrying a perfect princess. It seemed that everything about this person was screaming contradiction. He wondered if he had a problem of split personality.

Miru had straight ahead whizzed off to check the ice cream flavors and was now loudly beckoning her father over to the counter. But he waited patiently as Eunji walked over to Woohyun’s table. When she did and when he saw her, he simply stood up and folded her into a hug. Sung Gyu was even more surprised. Despite his tiny frame, he wasn’t that so short to speak of. He was handsome. And he was nice and proper (at least he looked like it) and although he wasn’t as tall as Sung gyu himself, it was hard to believe that he never made it into the entertainment industry. Woohyun looked like he was made for it.

Sung Gyu watched their exchange with a straight face, trying not to look too obvious, and grimaced when Woohyun displayed an overly staged excess of affection towards her. Maybe the reason why he never made it to the industry was his fake wit and stinking personality. Sung gyu decided himself.

Once he was sure it was okay for him to leave her there, he slowly slipped out of the chair and walked towards his daughter. Miru was such a girl. She was already doing well in becoming a woman one day; the most incomprehensible kind of beings. The moment he got to her and asked which flavor she would like, she ever so candidly announced that she didn’t want any ice cream anymore because he took too long to come. And then when he sighed and announced that he was going to get a double chocolate duplex in a waffle cup for himself, Miru quickly changed her mind and began to list down a heap of flavors which he was certain she couldn’t even finish. He had to laugh at this and explain to the person in the counter that they haven’t decided yet. It was a good thing that Miru was adorable (and that he was adorable too; he could tell by the way the lady at the counter eyed him) or they would have been really pissed.

In the end they both purchased their respective double scoop cones, (Miru wanted one of the biscuit bears stuck to it, also sprinkles, and it took a while for her to decide but they ended up getting them both) and Sung gyu led Miru to the table where they sat in before. Miru sat on the chair on his right, which was a good thing so he wasn’t blocked off his view. Sung Gyu put on his spectacles, pulled out the day’s paper, held it up with his free hand, covering most of his face, pretended to read while looking over at the silently quarreling pair and feasted on his cone.

The hushed conversations between Eunji and Woohyun continued as long as Sung gyu took to finish his ice cream cone. Woohyun, for once, didn’t look like the prim and proper ideal boyfriend the moment he lost his cool. The real Woohyun, the possessive stalker who tried to get his friends to kidnap her soon appeared, and Sung Gyu was already in guard. Nonetheless. He didn’t step in. As much as he wanted to stand up, go over and just protect Eunji with all his might, he also understood that it wasn’t the right thing to do. Sung gyu was of course, trying to get her life back in the rightful course, but that didn’t mean he should interfere when she was doing the bits which were necessarily to be done by herself. No mess could be cleared unless the one who made the mess the first place would step iin and do it. This was her life. And she must have control over it.

When Woohyun’s voice raised, Eunji’s voice did too. And soon appeared the devilish side of her as well. The two of them swore to each other in hushed whispers, but it didn’t continue for much longer. It only took them only as long as Sung gyu took to reach into his pocket and fish out the crisis plan. Eunji was finally taking the full control into her hands. She did exactly as they had it planned. She pushed back her chair rather roughly, stood up, grabbed her bag and put on her coat. Though the two of them had never really exchanged rings, she saw the great need of slamming her hand aggressively on the table. Then much to his surprise, her voice loud and clear, Eunji said, every single syllable exactly the same; “Don’t call me, don’t message me, don’t drop me to the bus stop, don’t even breath the same air as I do!” before she huffed, tossed her head and stomped her way out of the door.

“Daddy, the lady went away” Miru said and continued to off her already dripping ice cream, her actions in great contradiction to her words. Sung Gyu on the other hand wanted to giggle. Or better, he wanted to laugh hysterically until all the wit completely disappeared. But he stopped himself and pulled off a gravely perplexed face, his spectacles crooked and everything, when Woohyun looked at him and made a face that seemed to imply ‘Can you believe these women?’ which was true to some extent (and which he agreed on, to some extent) but at that moment, though he returned the same gesture to him as if the feeling was mutual, it truly wasn’t.

Sung gyu still thought that Woohyun really deserved to be dumped.

~*~

A few minutes later, Sung Gyu walked out of the ice cream store (after having cleaned up the mess Miru made with her melting Ice cream, wiped her face, washed her hand and giving a cheeky smile to the cashier lady, just for being extremely understanding) and found Eunji standing outside on the pavement, or rather, stomping from one and to the other with steam coming out both her ears. Intuitively, Sung Gyu’s hand reached for the crisis plan, and searched in her behavior for any sign of discomfit or possible disaster. The stomping couldn’t mean anything good. Neither could the murderous look on her face. The moment he called her name and made a few careful steps towards her, Eunji simply exploded like a missile which has been waiting to be clicked, and nearly threw Sung gyu off his feet.

“What took you so long!”

Sung gyu looked down at Miru, and puckered his lips. Eunji got the message, sighed loudly, ran her hands through her hair a few times and continued to stomp. “Oh, I’m so mad right now. I can kill him. I can kill everyone. I’m so, so, so mad”

Miru was watching her with concern, and it immediately occurred to him that she shouldn’t be even in the slightest proximity to someone who loudly admitted that they wanted to kill someone. He picked her up and held her against his hip.

“Eunji” he said. She stopped stomping and glared at the other. “What?”

“Let’s calm down first” he said.

“No, I don’t want to bloody calm down!”

He pursed his lips and this time he really reached for the folded paper in his pocket. “Listen, Eunji-Ssi,”

“I said I didn’t want to bloody calm down, shut up!”

He glared at her and considered walking away from her because his child not hearing nor seeing what she was doing was more important to him than Eunji’s grave need to throw a hissy fit right now. But then he remembered doctor Jang, and the words he said earlier that day. Sung Gyu couldn’t just walk away now. Not when he was already in deep.

“Eunji” He repeated, now not bothering to sound mild and calm as he did earlier. She needed this. “You listen to me right now, Eunji-Ssi”

Sung Gyu’s stiff and stern tone seemed to come off as considerably effective. That, for the least, stopped Eunji from stomping, although it hasn’t done anything better for her sour mood. But it was enough for now. At least she was listening.

“What?” She said in a rough voice. Sung Gyu looked at the folded paper in his hand, but then he didn’t want to come off as someone who did things right off the book. Eunji needed some color in her life, and something enjoyable to let off her steam. Sung Gyu looked down at Miru then, and she was looking over at him with hopeful eyes. “Sweetheart” he called. “Do you want to do the big adventure?”

Right at the sound of his words, Miru’s face brightened up with delight. “Yes! The big adventure!”

Eunji was staring at the exchange quite hopelessly, and dropped her hands. “What are you even talking about?”

“The big adventure” Sung gyu said, and gave her one massive smile. “Come along now, let’s do this!”

“But what’s the big adventure!”

“Hurry up! Or you wouldn’t find out!” Sung gyu yelled over his shoulder, and continued to walk on.

The healing process hadn’t completely worked out as he planned. But things didn’t happen right over night. They took time and effort. They took mistakes and things made right. Sung gyu understood this. He also understood that things didn’t remain bad forever. Things would take the right course, and things would certainly get better. But only, they took time, effort, and a person with the will to change things for the best.