B A E K H Y U N 

 

jdI looked at myself in the mirror that i punched with all my strength at some days ago. I saw myself in the broken glass. A pale face. sad eyes.I blankly stared atr my bruised eye. It still hiurt now, since a week ago. I kept staring at it for 2 more seconds before my eyes went off. Leaning with my hands onto the sink. I swollowed deep, shaving the side of my cheek against my shoulder. continuing looking down at my blurry reflection into the square patterned tiles.

Ew.

I stopped looking at it. I couldnt even see myself clearly, but still. Gross.Especially with my bruised eye when they knocked me tro the ground. What if Chanyeol finds out about them? What if I have to lie again? No.. I dont want to lie to him.. I can't hide it... It'll be obvious Baek. Mhhmm.. no. I'll lie to him if he asks me what happened. Just this time.. I slowly closed my eye's while my heart pounded faster. I tightened them more. I thought about when it happened again, where it was. The place was literally across the street from Chanyeol's house. In a alley near the bridge. The  other memories from when I got followed and from a while ago became clear too. I freaked. 

I letted the sink go and got down on the cold floor. I hugged myself  together while pulling at my hair breathing heavily.

 

H W A J E O N G 

"You should shame yourself. Do you know how much worries everyone didn't had if you were dead! just kill yourself already! No one would even notice f***n ugly little pig!" - 

B A E K H Y U N

 I backed up a,little and hid my face before I felt his feet crashing hard on my shoulder. I lost my strength and slide against the wall down to the ground while getting kicked into my stomach. I whined loud and was shaking madly. I heard him yelling at me but.. I .. My body hurt so much, I wasn't focused on his voice and felt llike I was about to collapse - He grabbed my neck and pressed me hard against the wall. As I tried gasping for air he kicked me with his knee.. I couldn't breathe as I saw him smiling and tightened his grip. My hands where shaking and everywhere around me were lots of these beautiful purple-green-yellowish dots. 

I remembered Hwajeong spitting his nice words into my face before I fainted, feeling him loosing his grip letting me fall down once my head hit the floor:

 

"The last train leaves at 1am". 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*sigh*

 

That was it. I felt my heartbeat all the way my throat and I got up fast, taking big steps to the drawer in the corner of the room. I opened the very first one, placing my hand all at the back untill I felt something stinging into my fingers. I picked it up and held it up with shaking hands. My beloved shiny blade with some blood stains at the sharp end from last time.  -probably still from this morning. 

I slouched to the ground and didn't realise that I held it tight as I saw blood dropped from ny inner finger. I roughly pulled my sleeve up from my left wrist and unwrapped the bloodstained bandage. Some lines i drew were still fleshy and some began to even start bleeding again. It bit my lip hard while pressing my beloved blade against my wrist, crosiing the older ones. I let out some whines because god damn, it hurt! They quickly bled and I turned the blade the opposite direction of how I was cutting and made a couple short cuts right above the long cut. I made that one yesterday. Don't ask me why, please.. I can never forget the conversation I had with Chanyeollie.. Only if he knew what I was doing to myself. . 

anyway

There was blood dripping all over my t-shirt and I shaked my wrist in the air seeing some blood getting on the wall. I looked at my wrist. I was panicking.                    T-the blood was flooding out my arm. "Nnnnggg-ahh f**k!!" "!" I stretched my arm out to the roll toiletpaper letting the blade go and hear the piece shatterinng on the ground. 

My heart was beating so fast.. I might have a panick attack. Oh no.. No not know.. I hastically grabbed the roll and shred the paper off. I pressed it tight on my cuts. "Aauuwhfff f***k!" I screamed loud and clenched myself against the wall while wrapping the paper arounf my wrist. It got soaked very easily so I shred more paper, wrapping it tight around again. Then doing to the same again. And again.

 

Oh . I forgot something. I forgot to place it under some water but- Oh well.... It isn't that bad anyway..

It's just a small cut...

 

 

 

 

I'll heal fast.. Right..?

 

  

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 ©NukaXii

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YESS FINALLY DONE WITH PART 1. 

the reason I am writing the bloody part at first is because lately I am going through a very hard time with depression and etc etc etc! .. Euhhmm..

I really hoped it was enjoyable or idk how hou'd like to call it :) 

 

Chapter 2 soon :)