Green. Yellow. Red.

Red. Green. Yellow.

Green. Yellow. Red.

Red. Green. Yellow.

It’s always the same everytime, the colors. And everytime, it only takes one and a half minutes to change from red to green, green to red.

The stoplight has changed colors again. I know cause I’m here by the pedestrian lane, waiting for the colors to change from green to red so I can cross. I’m here again on that same place where cars play a game of stop motion.

The wind is cold. It’s winter. Guess time really flies fast, huh? It has been almost what? Half a year? Two season changes? Yes, I’ve been counting. But don’t mind. I know you won’t.

4…3…2…1. The light is in yellow.

Ah! Finally, the light has changed to red and I can now cross this busy street.

And the recall starts again.

“When will this light change?” I tap my feet in annoyance.

I’m going to be late. Again!

I can just die here waiting for that red to go green. I need a ride fast! Or else I’m going to be dead on my first class and that can’t happen! Someone just kill me right now.

Green.

Yes!

I try letting out a relieved sigh and force a smile to keep myself on the positive end of the spectrum but all that came out was a grimace. Sigh.

But who cares though? My ride is here.

It was a stressful ride for me – frowning the entire time, mentally cursing the cars in the way of the van I’m riding, and slightly wanting to steal the wheel from the driver because he was driving too slow for my liking. But all I could do was sulk and hope and pray.

And so it’s been a good 15 minutes later than our intended class start when I arrived at the university and it’s now time to run like hell is chasing me.

Please let our prof be late. Please let her be late. Please please please. God if you’re listening, please…

I desperately pray as I hurried my way to our class.

This might have been the fastest that I’ve ever ran in my life. And now I’m in the room and surprise surprise! The beadle just posted over on SNS that there’ll be no class today. Can I just chokeslam someone? All that breath wasted, that effort wasted. Ugh! Everyone can choke right now and I could care less.

“Damn!” I ended up cursing out loud, with a frown on my face, immediately sitting down on the chair nearest me.

I was so preoccupied I didn’t even notice someone else enter the room until she cleared a little too loud than normal. I looked up in annoyance, annoyed at who the creature is that’s disturbing me when I’m trying to compose myself. Of course, my death glare was ever present.

“What?” I snapped.

And I immediately regretted it at an instant.

Standing there, in front of me, taken aback by my response was none other than the resident bear of our class, you, Kang Seulgi.

“S-sorry…” you stammered, “I didn’t mean to offend you. I guess I came at a bad time. I’m really sorry. I should just go.”

You started to back away slowly.

Great. Now what did you just do, Bae Joohyun?

“Wait.” I managed to croak out in a better tone than earlier. You stopped, right hand just hovering over the doorknob. You looked back and looked at me straight in the eye, with a scared twinkle in your orbs.

“Sorry about that,” I managed a sheepish but apologetic smile. You smiled back. I’m relieved. “I was just a little edgy. Anyway, you were saying? I didn’t quite catch you. Sorry.”

And your heavenly innocent smile graced your face. “It’s alright.”

Suddenly, the anger faded away into the background, dissipated like mist when the sun fully rises into the horizon.

“I was just asking if there’s no class for today unnie since no one seems to be around.”

“So you also fell victim, eh?” I laughed.

You did also.

“I guess?”            

I stood up quickly and gathered my stuff. “Come on, you little bear. Let’s hang for a while. It has been long since we got a chance to hang out right?”

Please say yes.

You pause for a while. I could see you were thinking, contemplating. Then a cute smile played on your lips. And you nodded with your eye smile beaming brightly. My heart just skipped a beat.

I’m not saying I like you Seulgi but that’s exactly what I’m saying, albeit only to myself. I’ve always watched you from afar, always being your ‘unnie’.

My lip curled up into a smile.

But you never knew all this. And I don’t want you to.

Cause in my head’s a diary filled with only you. And I’ll forever keep this a secret.

Days went by so fast since that encounter. Days turned to weeks then to months. We became closer. Again.

I actually don’t know what happened to us why we drifted apart through the years, but I guess it has to do something with the different paths we want to take in life – you enrolling under the humanities program while me being under the arts and sciences. We only ever get to meet twice a week during Tuesdays and Thursdays, during a damned 7:40 A.M. Philosophy class. But even then, we don’t get to interact much. I either arrive late or you leave early. That has been our story since.

I guess I can think of that annoying late dissemination of information of no-class-this-early-in-the-morning as less annoying now. It did give us a chance to interact again. It gave me a chance to be with you again.

But the sad thing is, you only see me as an unnie but I see you as something more. Then again, who am I to complain? At least I get to be with you even if our feelings aren’t exactly mutual.

I just smile.

“Unnie…”

I’ll just—

“Unnie!”

“Okay!? What?! Whe-?” I quickly stood up from my chair and looked around in panic. Then I hear giggling and signs of laughter dying to come out.

. I spaced out again.

“Kang Seulgi…” I deadpanned, making sure the threat is evident in my voice trying to hide away the embarrassment.

“Sorry, sorry…” you manage to say before you completely burst out laughing.

I groaned then sat back down again.

Childish, stupid bear!

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry unnie…”

You can choke that apology down your throat! I thought to myself avoiding you, a big frown spread across my forehead.

Then you suddenly came into my line of vision, puppy eyes flashing.

“Ugh! I hate you,” I playfully pushed you away trying to still be angry but a small smile gave me away and you saw it. You had your victorious endearing smile smeared on your face. How can I still be angry when you look like that?

And the smile turned to a grin making you look more adorable. Then you suddenly hugged me.

If you only knew how bad I wanted to never let you go. But the moment passed and you were out of my hands. I didn’t even get to hug you back. You were so cheerful I had to hide the little sting in my heart from your warmth’s sudden disappearance.

You went back to your chair, across from me.

“Unnie, someone invited me over to a party,” you said while drawing.

I don’t really see the point of you sharing t