Author's Note: I am so sorry about everything you’re about to read. Please forgive me I am a cheesy hoe.
P.S: This is how Kindergarten/ day care (it’s the same thing here) is like where I live I hope you’re not too confused if you’re from a different country or continent \(^.^)/

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Driving through the streets of his old hometown, Kyungsoo couldn’t stop the sentimental half smile from stretching across his face. It simply felt odd. 

Odd, how everything looked so familiar, yet felt completely different. Well, the small town was still the same, it was Kyungsoo who felt different. 

Seven years had passed since he made the big move from this little nest to the big city. Frankly, it was hard to wrap his head around how much had changed since then. Nostalgia was something the young man never really could be bothered with, especially since he deemed moving to the big city one of the best things that could have ever happened to him. The past was in the past and that’s where it should stay. After so many years the grudges he held towards this little town in the middle of nowhere and the demons of the past had faded into thin air. Kyungsoo was a different man now. 

Every time he passed a place or old sign that triggered memories of his youth, the pictures in his head seemed so distant, like he was viewing them through milky glass.

The local radio station was in the midst of playing some ancient trot song as Kyungsoo pulled into the driveway of his parents’ home- only now it was home to Kyungsoo's father and himself only. His mother had peacefully fallen asleep three months prior and had never woken up again. It had been a time of grief and hard decisions that had to be made quickly. Kyungsoo had to give up his prospects of being an elementary school teacher to come back home and take care of his father- financially, emotionally and physically. Kyungsoo already had come to terms with the situation. For once it was him who had to stay strong for the family, not his father.

Continuing to hum the song he just had listened to, Kyungsoo walked to the trunk of his fathers’ rusty pick up to take out his duffel bag alongside a big box full of books and CD records – these were the last things he had to move out of his small apartment in the city. He was officially back home and he was determined to make things work out.


*****

Kyungsoo liked to think of himself as a composed person. No matter the outer or inner circumstances, he managed to control his facial expressions, his composure and his words very well; Always polite and sure not to attract too much attention or to upset anyone; And his self-estimation was true for most cases. 

However, these cases did not include walking into a day care to apply for a job and suddenly standing face to face with Kim Jongin, who by the way had taken the puberty train to handsome-ville since the last time he’d seem him. 

“Kyungsoo?” the other greeted him with a dazzling smile, getting up from where he was crouching, surrounded by kids playing all sorts of brightly coloured toys.

“That’s me,” was all Kyungsoo awkwardly managed to answer as Jongin got closer and holy , he had gotten taller, and his shoulders broader, and his jawline more defined and it was kind of unfair. 

Either Kyungsoo was really good at hiding how overwhelmed he was or Jongin just ignored his flustered state out of politeness. Figuring it was the latter; he decided to try to concentrate on the words coming out of the others lips instead of ogling in disbelief.

“What are you doing here? Having a little vacation in your hometown?” 

“Actually… I moved back here," Kyungsoo answered, burying his hands as deep in the pockets of his jeans as he could to stop them from nervously scratching his underarms, “You know, dad needs help around the house and stuff…”

“I’m sorry about you loss, Kyungsoo,” Jongin said with pure sincerity in his gaze. Jongin's eyes had always been so intense that it was hard to keep eye contact, so Kyungsoo just decided to look at the others nose instead.

“Thanks. Well, uh, I’m actually looking for a job now.”

“Oh.”

It was really hard for him to decipher how Jongin felt about the new information; the taller's face seemed to be going through several emotions at once. Kyungsoo decided to get his head straight and finally start talking when the silence that stretched between them began bordering awkward.

“Yeah, well, I was wondering if maybe there was a place for me here or if someone knew a place where they need someone? I’ve already been to the local bar and restaurant but they didn’t seem to think too much of my university degree and lack of experience in the gastronomy business.”

“Uh, actually, we could use some help around here!” Jongin's eyes positively sparkled.

The taller just kept smiling that enamouring smile of his so Kyungsoo decided fake coughing would be a good idea to avoid the eye contact that caused his cheeks to blush in an embarrassing red. He could feel the eyes of a few curious children on him and was reminded that maybe, he should start kicking things into gear. His tongue however, didn’t seem too cooperative.

“So, uhm, well, should… shouldn’t I talk to your manager-boss-person then?” To be frank, at this point Kyungsoo was glad he could form some sort of coherent sentence.

Jongin's smile fell and he looked like he suddenly remembered that, yeah right, this conversation had a serious purpose. Now it the younger's turn to look flustered.

“Yeah, right, just go to the little office room that is right down the hall on the left and wait there, I’ll be right back.” 

Kyungsoo smiled despite himself- Jongin had kept his habit of talking way too fast when he was embarrassed.

Following the prior instructions, Kyungsoo walked down the hall and hesitantly entered the small room clutching the CV in his hands. He knew his tiny hometown and he knew that formal things like getting a job or having a job interview were usually sealed with a personal talk and a hand shake. Almost nobody here had to write a formal letter of application to get employed. Still, after being away for so long, Kyungsoo felt a bit like a stranger so he had some formal papers with him, just in case.

Through the walls he could hear the muffled sound of kids playing, and Jongin's voice calling after someone, probably his boss. Though, he wondered why he talked to his superior so informally.

Kyungsoo shrugged. It wouldn’t be a surprise if the younger knew the owner of the day care more personally or maybe even was related to them. If he remembered correctly, Jongin's aunt had always talked about how this town needed a day care since the closest one was in a bigger town quite a long car drive away.

The sound of the door opening behind him made Kyungsoo jolt up to sit straight as a stick in his seat, abruptly cutting off his train of thought. Expecting to meet a lovely but strict looking woman in her fifties, Kyungsoo tried to do some last minute adjustments to the collar of his shirt and his hair. To his surprise, he was greeted by Jongin again, who pulled out a pair of glasses and an important looking folder. 

Okay, exactly HOW good could someone look with specs on?

“Sorry it took a little longer, I had to convince the little ones that my colleague is just as good as reading stories to them than I am," the younger smiled at him the boyish way he used to in high school- another thing that was a reminder of their teenage years.

“No problem," Kyungsoo answered, but he was still confused. Where was his superior?

“You look confused," Jongin pointed out with a chuckle and Kyungsoo hated how charming it sounded. Gosh, he needed to get a grip. Which was very hard with how well the blue and white button-up shirt complimented the younger's caramel skin. 

“No, I’m… it’s just, uh, where is the manager?” the elder tried to make it sound as non-rude as possible. Considering Jongin's crooked smirk turned into a shy smile, he didn’t quite know if he succeeded.

“Uhm, well…the boss is sitting right in front of you… surprise!” Jongin ended the great reveal with awkward jazz hands. Even his hands look nice what the hell.

If Kyungsoo hadn’t been busy being completely flabbergasted he would’ve found the dorky gesture endearing. But at this moment one part of his mind was screaming uncontrollably while the other was thinking of ways to get out of here that wouldn’t include pointing at the opposite corner of the room and yelling “Look! A squirrel!” before bursting out of the door.


*****

In times of confusion making a list of pros and cons is usually a great way to figure out your feelings about a certain situation- Which is what Kyungsoo did because he honestly felt like the protagonist of a bad movie at the moment.

He’d always wanted to work with children (if his prior three years as elementary school teacher and teacher assistant were any indication) so working at a day care was definitely a pro.

Since the place wasn’t too far away, Kyungsoo could use his bike or walk. More exercise and fresh air was definitely an upside so he scribbled down another “pro” on the paper of his notebook.

The job at the day care included more working hours than the position he could have gotten at the bar due the owner being one of his father’s best friends but Kyungsoo would much rather spend his day surrounded by three to five year old's instead of sixty plus year old men that liked to ramble on about “the good old days” with a tipsy slur in their raspy voices; So that con was heavily outweighed by yet another pro.

However, all things have cons. 

For Kyungsoo it was the fact that Kim Jongin was his boss- which were two cons actually. Because being close to Kim Jongin gave him heart palpitations and HE WAS HIS EMPLOYER. Okay, the younger had pointed out that the general consensus was that he may be the “owner/boss” but everyone who worked there would be treated as an equal but still, Kyungsoo couldn’t shake the feeling that he worked with a former really close friend of his wasn’t really a pro for this list. That may be caused by the fact that the emotional attachment to his new boss was far more complicated than “old high school friends”. 

Jongin and Kyungsoo had never been “just friends” but at the same time were incapable to do anything about it. It had always been that way. Throughout the entirety of high school years the two had been stuck in an endless game of “do you like me or not”. When Kyungsoo finally moved away it seemed like the jumbled strings of their emotional bond were cut off for good. What Kyungsoo came to realize though, was that, even after seven years, he had never gotten over it. All these years his unresolved feelings remained frozen in time and now they were coming back to bite him in the for being so avoidant when it came to his own emotions.
This con was definitely his own doing.




As it turned out, working at the day care with Jongin wasn’t so bad. After all the enormous changes and quick turns Kyungsoo's life had made within the last few months, it was nice to have some kind of routine back. No doubt, having to watch over a bunch of tiny humans with an insane amount of energy and curiosity and undoubtedly loud voices (the recent dispute of Sehun and Chanyeol over who got to use the last blue crayon was still ringing in his ears) was exhausting, then again, it was the good kind of exhaustion that left him smiling at the end of the day.

“It’s nice, you know," Jongin said out of the blue one day when they were washing dishes after Lunch. Kyungsoo stopped drying off the plate in his hand to look at him with confusion in his eyes.

“What is?” he asked after a few seconds, laying down the plate as quiet as possible- he didn’t want to wake the kids Baekhyun and Jongins aunt just had laid down for their nap.

“Just… you’re smiling.” Okay that was unexpected . “It’s just… you haven’t genuinely smiled since you started here. It’s nice," Jongin almost seemed apprehensive, or was shy a better word? saying this to Kyungsoo. He didn’t even look at him, just fiddled with the drying cloth between his fingers. The elder couldn’t help the corners of his mouth form twitching up again.

“Thanks Jongin. I guess I’m just happy to have some order back into my life. I’m really enjoying it here, I’m thankful you’re letting me do this.”

“It’s me who should thank you actually. To be honest I didn’t think you’d actually take the job,” the younger admitted, his eyes forming crescents as if he was talking about a fond memory.

“Really? Why?” Kyungsoo couldn’t stop the sinking feeling settling in his stomach. Did he do something wrong? 

“Oh, no, no please don’t get me wrong!” Jongin flinched a little when he realised he had raised his voice a little too much, “It’s just…” he whispered now, “I know that the clocks tick differently in this town. I know how much teasing I got for taking over my aunt's Kindergarten instead of becoming a mechanic like my dad. Also I didn’t know if maybe you’d find it weird to be working with me… as your kind of BOSS out of all things.”

Kyungsoo had to suppress the snicker bubbling in his throat.

“Well, it is kind of weird that you’re my boss,” Kyungsoo mused, drying up the sink and kitchen surface from soap residue and water to distract himself from just how adorably scandalized Jongin had looked when he talked about being Kyungsoo's superior. Back in the days Jongin used to be teased for clinging to the elder like a puppy.

“Kind of weird?” Jongin asked in a challenging tone.

“Okay, it’s really weird…kind of. But I got used to it," crossing his arms, the younger raised an eyebrow at that, “No! Really, it’s really okay, it’s fine, it’s okay.”

“One more okay and I’ll believe you.”

“Ha ha, funny man," despite the sarcasm dripping from his words he ended up flashing a gummy smile to Jongin. When their eyes met, it felt like everything was okay again. Like they were teenagers again, sitting on Kyungsoo's bed, talking about everything and nothing and giggling about something that happened in their favourite cartoon show. For a second, it felt like the time before things had gotten complicated.

Jongin's eyes still had the same deep, chocolaty brown colour that brought so much comfort for Kyungsoo. His eyes during moments like this were always so intense , almost as if he was fascinated by simply looking at the other and also completely lost in the bubble they were in.

Moments however, are fleeting in nature, so Jongin dropped his eyes to the floor, swallowing heavily, starting to put away the clean dishes while Kyungsoo stood there and tried to snap back to reality.

“But… really, thank you Jongin, for the job I mean," - oh it - “And also…it’s nice having you back in my life.” His voice died at the end but Kyungsoo hoped Jongin would get the point. 

Yes, the younger was his boss, yes, the situation was kind of really weird and yes, things had happened in the past. Nevertheless, thanks to this job Kyungsoo was able to financially sustain the small family that consisted of only him and his father now. On top of all that, it all gave him a chance to reconnect with Jongin, the person he used to call his best friend.

“I think it’s nice having you back too," Jongin answered, looking over his shoulder and through his bangs and Kyungsoo started to doubt his sanity when he saw the soft pink blush shimmering on the others cheeks.

“Hyuuuuung?” a tiny raspy made both of them jump in surprise, “Hyung I need help.”

It was little Sehun who stood in the doorframe, looking slightly scared and mildly guilty with his hands behind his back.

“What is it, buddy?” Jongin immediately crouched down in front of the four year old boy, rubbing his shoulder encouragingly. Sehun dropped his head as far as humanly possible, it almost looked comical.

“…uh…Baekhyun-hyung allowed me to play in the toy kitchen because I couldn’t sleep…had to pinky-promise to be quiet… but I need help," the kid mumbled some more before he decided to let actions speak instead of words. 

Slowly, the boy brought his hand forth from behind his back. When they saw, Jongin had to hold back a groan while Kyungsoo couldn’t help the amused snort escaping his nose.

“You got your thumb stuck in a plastic bottle AGAIN ?”

“I-i-it was an accident," Sehun's eyes started to get dangerously glossy and if the wobbling of his pouty lips were any indicator, the boy was really close to crying and thus, waking up the other sleeping kids, “I…. I can’t get it off…it hurts hyung.”

Letting out a soft sigh, Jongin took Sehun by the hand and walked out of the kitchen: “Let’s go get this off your thumb shall we? I promise it won’t hurt anymore.”


*****

Ignoring strong emotions that could cause any sort of discomfort or drama was something Kyungsoo counted as one of his specialties. That was, until he worked side by side with Jongin almost every day, safe for the weekends. 

At least Kyungsoo had down time from being around a hopeless crush whenever he was at home. There was always something that needed fixing in his parents' old house. One day it was a leaking water pipe, the other day a loose shelf and other days he just had to convince his father that no, the television wasn’t broken, he had just forgotten to put his hearing aid in. Already more than once Kyungsoo had been woken by the TV blaring full volume at six in the morning on a Sunday because his father tried watching the morning news and he was convinced that the speakers were broken when in reality, he actually forgot he needs technological help for actually hearing anything that wasn’t as loud as a truck exploding right next to him.

Jongin seemed to find these kinds of stories quite amusing whenever Kyungsoo complained about them. The younger's eyes completely disappeared with the way his cheeks bunched up, that’s how much fun he was having with the tales of Kyungsoo's half-deaf father. If they made Jongin smile, it all wasn’t so bad, the elder figured.

With every month passing it became harder and harder for Kyungsoo to keep his overflowing emotions for Jongin at bay. Every day he got to see how much the other had matured, how calm he handled quarrels between the kids, how he managed to make Jonghyun laugh within minutes every time the boy cried snot and tears over his parents dropping him off, how much heart and joy he poured into every day of work. The kids loved Jongin as he loved them. 

And as much as Jongin had grown up, in the core of his heart he remained young which was why the kids loved doing whatever activity him, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun had planned. Whether it was reading stories to them, singing, playing with dolls or sitting at the table of the “creative corner” with him, crafting and drawing whatever it was that came to their minds. 

The younger seemed to enjoy it just as much as the children; Except for the infamous “glue incident” when four year old Chanyeol had decided it would be fun to see how many pieces of coloured paper he could stick onto Jongins and Kyungsoo's back as well as all around the day care without anyone noticing. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun had to stay until after hours to scrape the glue off the floor and the shelves while Jongin had to replace an entire rug because they’ve had to chase after the little boy to snatch the crafting materials away from him but of course not without stepping on the open bottle of glitter glue Baekhyun had left laying open after enhancing a doll with glitter eyeliner for Jisoo.

All the days spent at the day care, filled with glitter glue, unexpected incidents and bantering toddlers made Kyungsoo realise just how deep the feelings for Jongin were rooted in his heart. When he had left seven years ago he left as a very confused teenager who was afraid of the extent of his feelings for his best friend. He left behind a Jongin who didn’t seem to know what it was he wanted, who was fickle and insecure.

Fast forward several years and he came back to meet a man who had kept all the traits he adored so much in Jongin and had gained even more, someone who still could drive him up the wall with his stubbornness but also made him laugh with jokes that were so bad they were funny. Kyungsoo himself had come back as an emotionally steadier person, as someone who didn’t push people away anymore and as someone who was undeniably, deeply and madly in love with Kim Jongin.

Back then, they hadn’t been ready for each other. Now they were, or at least Kyungsoo was; There was no point in denying it anymore. However, the voice of doubt in his head kept telling him it was too late; Kept nagging on about how Jongin was over it and Kyungsoo was clinging on to nostalgia, something that should be left in the past. The fact that Jongin was his employer didn’t make it any easier. He could decide to fire him if Kyungsoo ever decide to act upon his emotions. Deep down the elder knew Jongin would never do that, but the consequences could still be unbelievably awkward if he confessed and the younger didn’t reciprocate, which was even worse than getting fired.

Kyungsoo's affection continued to grow as did his anxieties. It was only a matter of time until his heart was full and his feelings would spill over.


*****

“No, wait, I think you need to wiggle it a bit.”

“I’m trying but it won’t budge.”

“Try pushing it to the left,” Jongin offered from under him.

“I AM pushing it to the left," Kyungsoo grumbled in exasperation.

“I’d say push harder but I’m afraid you’ll punch me if I say more," Jongin quipped only with a half-serious undertone. Kyungsoo left out a defeated sigh, it was useless.

“Argh, it’s hopeless, you’ll have to actually call a plumber to fix this.” Groaning one last time for good measure, Kyungsoo put the tong into the tool belt, carefully stepped down the ladder and turned around, only to stand face to face with Jongin who had secured the ladder for him and was now sporting a lopsided grin that made the elder swallow hard. The white T-Shirt he was wearing suddenly felt too tight, almost suffocating and he had to try really hard to not openly stare at Jongin's plump lips that only were a few tempting centimetres away.

Get a grip, Kyungsoo, this is not a o where the handyman gets to the cute guy in distress.

“Ah damn, thanks for trying though. That damn pipe has been causing me trouble for over a year now," the younger pouted, his eyes fixed on said problem on the cellar's ceiling instead of Kyungsoo, which gave the latter a few seconds to get his together.

“You know, with all the handiwork you’ve been doing in your house I thought you’d be better at fixing things," Jongin mused, making Kyungsoo drop the tool belt he just had unfastened from his waist as he stared at the younger, full offense written across his face until he saw the younger's cheeky grin and realised he was joking.

“Oh, I can live with that. At least I have the comfort of knowing that the kids prefer me reading stories to them over you now," Kyungsoo countered with a triumphant grin.

“You wound me,” Jongin said with mock hurt in his voice and a hand dramatically clutching at his heart.

“That’s life, Kim, deal with it," the elder answered, swinging the tong he’d used before on his finger with a smug face just to clumsily drop it on the floor after a few seconds. 

“That was totally planned,” he deadpanned before the two erupted into uncontrollable laughter that had both clinging onto the other's shoulder in order to not topple over.

It took them several minutes until the laughing fit had faded to cingulated, short giggles that fought their way through at the end of their sentences.

“Oh man I haven’t laughed this hard in a while," Jongin said, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. Kyungsoo agreed, fondly taking in how the other's eyes sparkled.

There they were again, another moment where they both just looked into each other's eyes, feeling nothing but content despite standing in Jongin's dimly lit basement, surrounded by dusty shelves and cob webs.

“Uhm…would you, I mean, it’s already getting late, would you want to stay for dinner?” the younger suddenly asked, fumbling with the ends of his sleeves to make sweater paws; one of his nervous habits.

“I’d love to! I mean, only if it’s no inconvenience for you," Kyungsoo suddenly felt awkward. It was plain weird how the two would get along perfectly but as soon as they were looking at the prospect of getting closer, they walked around each other on egg shells.

“No not at all! Take it as a pay for the work you didn’t do today," Jongin winked, successfully stirring the mood out of the awkward-zone.

“Hey you lil’ !” Kyungsoo hit the younger on the arm, “anyways, what’s for dinner then? All the undone work made me hungry," he joked.

“Uhm, we’ll have to see if I have anything in the fridge or we could go to the local restaurant?”

“Can’t we order takeout?” For that, Kyungsoo earned a judging eyebrow raise, “Oh right, forgot we’re in the middle of nowhere. Hmm, let’s see, I could make us kimchi spaghetti?”

“You? I thought it was me who was treating you to this," Jongin pouted which made him look ten years younger and the elder's heart do a funny little jump in his chest.

“Jongin, we both know you’re hopeless in the kitchen," now it was Kyungsoos turn to raise the judging eyebrow.

“Fine,” the other scoffed in mock offense and a fake high-pitched voice,” I shall be responsible for tonight’s beverages then”, he concluded, dramatically swinging his hips from left to right as he went upstairs. Kyungsoo totally didn’t stare.

*****


An hour after the two men were sitting side by side on the floor at Jongin's small couch table, enjoying the meal Kyungsoo had prepared for them, seamlessly slipping in and out of conversation. As the evening progressed and more glasses of wine were emptied, their words had a light slur in them and their cheeks were tainted with a tipsy red.

“You totally need to give my aunt the recipe for this so she can cook it for the kids, they would love it," Jongin said, a permanent grin plastered on his face due to the alcohol in his blood. Kyungsoo's state wasn’t any better, though his dopey smile was caused by bluntly staring at Jongin's beautiful face.

“Ah, she could out-cook me any day,” the elder mumbled resting his face on his hand. The late hour, the wine and the fuzzy feeling in his stomach from being around the other made his head feel heavy.

“When was the last time we had these together? Oh, I know, it was Suho's birthday party, wasn’t it?”

“No, Suho's birthday party was when you got drunk for the first time and decided it would be a good idea to sing Bon Jovi in the bathroom because “there were better acoustical circumstances,” the elder chuckled, remembering 16-year-old Jongin, dressed in bleached denim trousers, a white, holey T-Shirt and a leather jacket belting “You give love a bad name” from the top of his lungs.

“Hey, to my defence, Bon Jovi was my man. Also my 80's and 90's –rock phase was kind of cool.” Jongin giggled knowing it was a lie.

“Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii wanna lay you down on a bed of roseeeeeeees," Kyungsoo started to scream-sing, his tipsy state making him careless about not hitting some notes. 

It took less than two seconds for Jongin to join in. Soon they both were holding up their empty glasses as substitution for lighters as they swayed from side to side, theatrically finishing their cover of “Bed of roses”. When they were done singing the two of them went right back into laughing about being old fools like they already had done so many times that evening. 

Kyungsoo's laughter abruptly seized when Jongin rested his head on his shoulder lazily.
“Remember when that song played at our school prom? It was so cheesy,” the younger said, dreamily playing with the hem of his shirt.

Kyungsoo's face dropped. 

“No, I don’t remember. I didn’t go to prom, forgot?” The elder's voice was monotone, cold even. He knew it was ridiculous that the memories of that time still triggered him into such a negative mood but he couldn’t help it.

“Oh, right, sorry," Jongin mumbled as he immediately raised his head from the others shoulder.

A heavy silence wedged itself between the two. Kyungsoo might not remember the prom but he remembered, very vividly so, why he hadn’t been there:

They sat out in the school yard under a tree, Kyungsoo complaining about his finals and Jongin nagging on about how math didn’t make any sense to him. It was two weeks before prom and both boys didn’t have a date yet. Not that Kyungsoo hadn’t been asked but he’d turned them down because he was trying to finally get over himself and ask Jongin to go with him- not as friend but as date. He’d been meaning to ask the younger boy for a while but always chickened out, too afraid what would happen if Jongin said no, or even worse, if he said yes. What if their friendship would be damaged by trying to make it romantic? What if Kyungsoo couldn’t handle a relationship? He was barely able to cope with how much he cared for the younger in their current state how would he handle something as serious as an actual relationship?

He knew Jongin had turned down some girls that had asked him (back then only Kyungsoo knew he was also into guys) but the taller never really explained why he’d turned them down. On that day though, a very pretty girl named Lisa came up to Jongin to ask him if he had a date for the prom yet. Kyungsoo remembers in every detail how the younger had turned to him and given him that look. A look that mingled between scared, daring and hopeful. A look that said “are you going to ask me or not?” 

All Kyungsoo could do back then was stupidly look back and forth between Jongin and Lisa, the latter looking very confused about what was going on. He really wanted to tell the boy how he felt and ask him out but his anxieties won over once again and left him shrugging helplessly at the question in Jongin's eyes. A part of Kyungsoo was hoping that Jongin would tell the girl he wanted to go with him. He so badly wanted the younger to see desperation in his eyes, see how much he cared, see that he’d immediately say yes if Jongin decided to take their relationship to another level.

But nothing happened. The elder felt his heart drop to the bottom of his chest when Jongin's gaze shifted from anxiously hopeful to plain disappointed. Whatever Lisa said next and the other boy answered was tuned out by the pain of knowing he had messed up his last chance at changing something between him and Jongin.

Their friendship never recovered from that. They distanced themselves from each other, Kyungsoo running on excuses about having to study for his finals and Jongin busying himself with dog- and babysitting pretty much his entire free time. They’d still hang out from time to time but it always ended with them feeling an odd kind of emptiness.

“Kyungsoo?” Jongin's voice snapped the elder out of his memories. It sounded so incredibly shy.

“Hm?”

“Why didn’t you ask me out back then?”

There it was, the question he’s always wanted the other to ask.

“I…” Kyungsoo opened his mouth, but the words got stuck in his throat.

“It’s just… I feel like we kind of drifted apart after that. Was it because I went to prom without you, or…?” If Kyungsoo wasn’t completely wrong, Jongin knew exactly why , he just wanted the elder to finally say it out loud.

“It was more than that," he managed to croak, his throat suddenly felt extra dry. A shaky feeling started to extend from his gut to the tips of his fingers. This was it. This was the moment Kyungsoo would put an end to the cliff hanger of their relationship. He’d tell Jongin about his feelings, the younger would tell him that it was too late, it would hurt like a and he’d get over it.

“More than that?” The tension exceeding Jongin's body was almost palpable in the air.

“Yes, it was about more than a stupid prom, Jongin." he really wanted to stay calm but all the feelings he had wound tight like a spring around his heart started to break free, making his words louder and heavier than intended.

“I messed up back then, I messed up so bad. I wanted to ask you to go to prom with me, not as a friend but as a date. Call me delusional but I somehow hoped you’d ask me when I was too scared. Then you went with Lisa and after that you started going on dates with her I heard and I just couldn’t deal with it all… I’m sorry I let this get between us.”

“You actually wanted to ask me out back then?” Jongin suddenly looked up, the same anxiously hopeful look in his eyes he’d had all these years ago.

“Yes. You seemed pretty happy with Lisa though." the cynical words tumbled out of Kyungsoo's mouth before he could stop them.

“Because I was tired of waiting for you Kyungsoo!” Jongin raised his voice, letting out an annoyed sigh, “You were so… so closed off back then. I felt so stupid, so incredibly stupid. I was right there by your side, waiting with open arms but you shied away at every possibility of us getting closer.”

“Don’t you get that I was scared less? You know how hard it is for me to let people close. It’s just who I am. But you were there, always, and you were so precious to me, you were the person I trusted the most. Did you expect me to throw all that away? For the chance that maybe we’d work out as a couple?” Kyungsoo had to avoid eye contact by now, his feelings completely overwhelming him, letting the words flow out of his mouth without a filter.

“It scared me how much I had felt for you back then. I was young and unexperienced and terrified of not being enough for you. And now you’re telling me you “waited” for me? If you knew that there wasn’t just friendship between us and you saw how difficult it was for me to step over the line, why didn’t you say anything?” the elder looked up at Jongin with furrowed brows.

The younger let out a sigh that sounded very defeated as he looked into his lap where he fidgeted with his fingers.

“I guess I was just as scared as you if I’m honest. I was afraid I was reading the signs all wrong and maybe there wasn’t more between us. In the end it was easier to blame you for not doing anything instead of admitting that I was too scared…”

The heavy silence that followed that was cut off by a surprisingly amused sounding snort from Kyungsoo.

“So to conclude we were both just very gay, terrified losers with tragic crushes.”

“You could say that, yeah," Jongin agreed, chuckling along as he thought about what fools they both were.

Suddenly, the taller looked like he was contemplating. His hands detracted into his sleeves for sweater paws and his eyes flitted over Kyungsoo's face as if he was calculating what to say next. After what felt like minutes, he finally opened his mouth:

“Are we gonna be this stupid again?” 

“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo swallowed hard. The air in the room suddenly got suffocating. 
Was Jongin really indicating what Kyungsoo hoped he was? If so, it would be really hard to hold himself back any longer. Because it was late and they were so close and the elder had already spent the entire evening trying to refrain from just wrapping his arms around the younger and nuzzle his neck.

“I mean… am I wrong or… Do you like me, Kyungsoo? Because I do an-“ Jongin was abruptly cut off by a set of soft lips on his. It took less that a millisecond for him to reciprocate and eagerly press back, hands coming up to the others neck to securely hold him there, as if to keep him close.

Kyungsoo had two possessive hands cupped around Jongin's jaw, slowly but passionately dragging his lips against the younger's, engraining how plump they felt to his memory forever. The kiss was sweet but every bit as hot, leaving them both breathless as they pulled away.

“I like you," Kyungsoo finally said, resting his forehead against Jongin's, sounding completely out of breath, “I like you so ing much you have no idea.”

He saw Jongin's kittenish grin before their lips connected for second liplock. The kiss was curious, both of them exploring, taking time to take in how new and also just how good their mouths felt against each other. Kyungsoo couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this many butterflies. They only lasted a few seconds of breaking away for breath in between, their mouths being drawn to each other like magnet.

Things got even more heated when Jongin swung a leg over Kyungsoo's leg, half straddling him, burying a hand in his short hair and tilting his head back to kiss him slow and dirty. The elder then decided to run his tongue over Jongin's plush upper lip and he swore he heard the other swear under his breath. Jongin tasted of sweet wine and dark chocolate as their tongues lazily danced together only contributing to the rising of their body temperatures. Letting out a quiet groan Kyungsoo threw his head back. Who knew kissing could ever feel t h i s good. Suddenly he could feel soft lips pressing against the sensitive skin on his neck, that’s when the red lights started blinking in front his inner eye.

“Stop, Jongin." the younger didn’t seem to hear, continuing with his administrations, making Kyungsoo's hands curl tighter around Jongin's hips, “, Jongin, look at me, please," he begged sounding completely wrecked.

The younger finally looked up with blown pupils and bee stung lips. He looked so delicious. The shorter couldn’t help but to kiss Jongin one more time, pulling him closer by the collar of his shirt.

“J-Jongin, not like this," he breathed.

“What do you mean?” Jongin feigned ignorance, swooping down to taste Kyungsoo's lips again.

“Let’s, let’s slow down for a bit, yeah?” Kyungsoo said, caressing Jongin's left cheek with his fingers. The younger leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and turning his head to sensually nip at each of the digits, as the man under him watched with dazed eyes.

“Why should we slow down? We waited for so long” Jongin asked when he was finally done, much to the delight of Kyungsoo's sanity, interlocking their hands and holding them up against his cheek.

“Exactly… Jongin I wanted you for so long… I want you so bad but not like this. Not after too many glasses of wine and not with the pressure of knowing we have to get up early for work the next day," Kyungsoo explained hating to kill the mood.

“I hate it when you’re right," Jongin mumbled as he pressed a sweet peck to Kyungsoo's cheek.

“Me too," Kyungsoo smiled fondly, pulling the younger in to a tight hug, basking in the warmth of his body and through the dark brown strands of his hair.

“Can we stay like this for a while?”

“Okay.”

*****


”Not like this Jongin. We should take it slow, Jongin,” Kyungsoo mocked himself in his head. It had been three weeks since the night at Jongin's house. They stayed true to their words and took it slow, not that they actually wanted to but fate didn’t seem to be on their side. They visited each other for dinner or coffee dates and went on long evening walks together, but everytime they were close to getting intimate something happened.

The elder doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the incredible embarrassment of Sehun walking in on them more devouring one another than kissing really and having to bribe him with candy to not tell anyone. Or the other time they were at Kyungsoo's house and things were getting frisky in his room until his dad barged in, asking if they had seen his glasses. Luckily Jongin had been quick enough to pull his hands out of Kyungsoo's pants before every single person involved had been scarred for life.

To cut it short, the tension between the two men were running high, so much that it became harder and harder to mask it in front of other people.

“Kyungsoo are you alright?” Baekhyun asked him one sunny autumn day, worriedly looking at his colleague.

“Hm? What? Yeah, I’m fine why’d you ask?”

“Uh.. . it’s just…you’re looking at Jongin like you want to eat him or something.” If only you knew.

“No, I just forgot to put my contact lenses in this morning is all”, Kyungsoo brushed him off. Truth is, he was in trouble, because Jongin had decided to pour his legs into the tightest pair of skinny jeans the elder had seen in his entire life. The taller's legs looked, for the lack of a better word, delicious in said pants. Paired with the pastel blue oversized sweater the younger was wearing his appearance screamed boyfriend. 

Kyungsoo was so screwed because there he was, in the middle of the day, acting like he was playing dolls with Seulgi and Hani whilst blatantly staring at his boyfriend (who was currently pulling adorable ugly faces to the entertainment of children) and fantasizing about how said boyfriend would look bouncing on his lap.

“Taking it slow” was officially over.


*****

When Jongin rang the doorbell later that evening Kyungsoo didn’t waste any time talking about what they’d have for dinner. His father was out for drinks with some of his friends, so they’d have the house to themselves and the elder was determined to carpe that noctem.

“Hey! Sorry I’m late I-“ the younger didn’t even get to finish his sentence before Kyungsoo harshly pulled him in by the hem of his shirt and crashed their mouths together in a searing kiss.

The younger's arms immediately circled around Kyungsoo's neck, pulling him as close as possible as his back collided with the door.

“Who the hell allowed you to wear these pants," Kyungsoo said between their kisses, cradling Jongin's face in his hands to tilt his head to the side so he could kiss him deeper. When they parted Jongin couldn’t resist pulling on the others lower lip before completely separating their mouths.

“Please tell me that means we’re done with taking it slow," the younger said, his pupils blown so wide that his eyes looked black.

“Heck yeah," Kyungsoo breathed before pressing his lips onto Jongin's again, this time directly into his mouth, craving the taste he’d gotten so addicted to. The elder let his inhibitions completely fly out the window and finally, finally let his hands wander down, under the waist band of Jongin's jeans to get a handful of his . It felt every bit as amazing as it looked and judging by Jongin's lustful moan, he liked being touched there as well.

Keeping his hands where they were, Kyungsoo started walking backwards in the general direction of his room, his mouth not once leaving the column of the taller's neck. Jongin giggled when they bumped into a few shelves and framed pictures along the way as they lovedrunkenly stumbled their way into the elders room. Kyungsoo unwillingly pulled his hands away from their new home (Jongin's ) to properly lock the door in case his father came home earlier than expected. When he turned around, Jongin was already sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at Kyungsoo with and equal amount of happiness and lust, motioning him to come closer. Kyungsoo had to bite his lip to stop himself from grinning to wide. That was actually happening right now.

Their mouths reconnected in an overenthusiastic clash of teeth as the elder pushed Jongin down on the mattress, hands wandering underneath the admittedly cute, but at the moment highly unnecessary sweater. Jongin returned the favour for Kyungsoo, running his hands across the elder's strong chest and down his arms as soon as the offending shirt was gone.

“Kiss me," the younger demanded, his voice raspy and thick with lust. Who was Kyungsoo to deny him? As their tongues tangled in a kiss that could be described as nothing other than pure , Kyungsoo roamed his hands over the sun-kissed, taut skin of the others chest, settling to play with his already hardening s. Jongin whined into his mouth and started to writhe under his touch. Before he realized it, he younger had undone the buttons on Kyungsoo's jeans, unceremoniously palming his through the thin fabric of his boxer briefs. 

“," the elder groaned, ing his hips into the others grip.

“Please I want you so bad," Jongin leaned up to whisper into his ear, subsequently biting his earlobe and pulling the boxer briefs down far enough for his thick, throbbing to spring free.

“. Wait a second,” Kyungsoo said, pulling away to get rid of the rest of his garments.
When he leaned back down his hands teased Jongin through his obscenely tight pants before pulling them of his legs as well. Jongin had to help by kicking and wriggling around a bit until the offending fabric was finally pulled off his limbs, which cause both of them to giggle childishly despite the situation.

Kyungsoo laid back down besides the younger, caressing the side of his face lovingly before connecting their lips for a delicious kiss that made their entire bodies feel warm and fuzzy.
In their world nothing else existed at that moment. Just the two of them, with Jongin pulling Kyungsoo closer so their bodies were pressed against each other as close as possible, their s brushing making them moan in unison.

Jongin's hungry lips traveled down his boyfriend's neck, chest and navel as he pushed him to roll over on his back. Jongin was now over him, his mouth leaving love marks all over his upper body as he made his way down, nuzzling at the fine hairs leading down from his navel. 
Kyungsoo swore he could hear angels sing when Jongin's hot breath hit the head of his throbbing . Tanned fingers wrapped around the base of as he felt the other's tongue giving it a few tentative .

“, stop teasing I’ll die," Kyungsoo rasped and Jongin flashed him his signature cheeky grin before dipping down for real, wrapping his lips around Kyungsoo's , making him release a harsh moan that went straight to the younger's groin. Jongin's lips felt heavenly as they sunk down on the elders length as far as they could, pressing the flat of his tongue hard against the prominent veins on its underside.

“You feel so good.” The compliment only encouraging Jongin to go bob his head further down, finding a steady rhythm and enjoying the tight grip of Kyungsoo's hand in his hair. The younger could already taste the precum leaking from the head as Kyungsoo pulled him off his , panting and looking positively debauched.

“Stop, Nini, or I’ll blow right here.”

“ it’s hot when you call me that," Jongin groaned, giving the cockhead in front of him on last before crawling up to be met by Kyungsoo's eager lips. Within seconds their positions were reversed; Kyungsoo might be shorter in height but stronger and sturdier in built, so it was fairly easy for him to push the taller onto his back. They continued making out, Jongin having a tight grip on the elder's thick thighs as the latter had one hand on the younger's and the other in his bedside drawer looking for lube. When Kyungsoo thumbed the slit of Jongin's the younger wailed, begging him to hurry up.

“Tell me what you want, Nini," Kyungsoo's deep voice coaxed as he kissed his way down to Jongin's crotch, the hand that wasn’t holding the bottle of lube drawing mindless patterns on his chest, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“I want you inside me. I wanted it ever since you were at my house three weeks ago you – oh ," Jongin's brain functions went down the drain when Kyungsoo's heart shaped lips wrapped around his to distract him from the first lube slicked finger breaching his entrance. It took a few seconds until he was able to continue with his sentence, “You looked so freaking hot in that tight, white t-shirt and the tool belt…and…oh my god please don’t stop.”

The elder's lips had busied themselves with playfully mouthing at his balls while now two of his fingers were scissoring Jongin's puckered entrance open. Sending hot sensations running down the latter's spine. By the time Kyungsoo had three fingers working Jongin open, the younger was sweating, begging and writhing on the sheets, making the former wonder what he had done in his past live to be deserving of such a sinfully beautiful view.

“Please, I’m ready," Jongin croaked.

Kyungsoo kissed his hip bone softly, slowing down the of his fingers. Then he leaned up so he was eye to eye with his lover, brushing back the silky strands of his bangs.

“Are you sure?” Even if Kyungsoo was hard and unbelievably eager, he wanted to make sure the other was comfortable and still wanted to do this. Jongin's heart swelled at the adoring look in the elder's eyes, nodding with sparkling eyes and a flash of pearly white teeth.

“, I adore you," Kyungsoo answered, leaning down to capture Jongin's lips with his own in a kiss that made any coherent thoughts disappear into thin air. The shorter was taken by surprise as Jongin snatched the lube out of his hands with a mumbled “I wanna” as he pushed Kyungsoo to stand on his knees. Keeping the eye contact Jongin gave Kyungsoo's a few more harsh before he continued to squeeze lubricant in his palm to slick his lover's shaft and on his ballsack. Whispering some profanities over how hot the scene looked, Kyungsoo reached his hand through the other's messy hair. When Jongin deemed he was done, he laid back on his back, making himself comfortable and extending his arm for Kyungsoo to take it and follow him.

It took a few moments for the elder to comply as he was completely mesmerized by the raw beauty of Kim Jongin. He let his eyes travel over the faded acne scars, the caramel planes of skin, the plush lips, the dark s, the lean and sculptured looking proportions of his body, deciding that this was the most beautiful sight in the world. Kyungsoo's hand curled around Jongin's extended one, leaning in until he was settled between the younger's legs. He pressed his lips onto the valley of Jongin's chest, whispering “You’re so beautiful” against the skin there.

“Says you.”

When the elder looked up he saw the faint blush on Jongin's cheek.

“Aww…now you’re suddenly being shy?” Kyungsoo teased, circling one of Jongin's s with his tongue.

“Shut up and put your in me," Jongin half laughed half moaned as he bucked his hips up to get some sort of friction.

Kyungsoo moaned at the feeling of Jongin's rubbing against his stomach. Resting his weight on his left arm, he reached down with his right one, positioning his cockhead at Jongin's entrance and slowly pushing in. It was hard not to uncontrollably forward with how Jongin's tight heat was him in. The two men moaned together as Kyungsoo finally bottomed out, basking in the feeling of Jongin's hot walls tightly clamping down on his length.

He gave the younger a while to adjust to the stretch and waited until he began grinding down as an indicator for Kyungsoo to move. His hips gained momentum with every until the steady sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, paired with their dirty moans and heavy breathing. Jongin felt incredible on Kyungsoo's , the pearls of sweat off his temples and grabbing him by his thick cheeks to get him to deeper. Kyungsoo complied, sitting back on his knees to get a better angle. Jongin almost screamed as Kyungsoo pushed his thighs further apart and slammed into him until his balls touched the younger's tailbone.

“Right there," he wailed as the other continued to drill into him, his s gaining power and speed, making Jongin see stars as a familiar heat settled in his stomach. The s had so much force that Jongin bounced everytime the others hips collided with his, making him curl his fingers into the bedsheet just to hold onto something. Jongin could feel tears forming at the corners of his eyes from how touched out he felt already.

“Come…. Here… wanna……wanna feel you,” he stupidly whined, desperately trying to form somewhat coherent words. Kyungsoo grunted as one of Jongin's legs hocked around his waist and pushed him down for the younger's hands to pull him close to his chest. The new position felt incredibly intimate, as they could feel every inch of their heated and sweat slicked skin slide together. Kyungsoo buried his head in the crook of Jongin's neck, biting down as he felt nails digging into the muscles of his back, leaving a trail of read scratches that surely would stay there until the next morning. When the elder slightly changed the angle of his s, Jongin actually screamed as stars exploded in his eyes.

“, right there, don’t stop please, don’t ever stop," he begged, the needy sound of his words causing Kyungsoo to into his abused hole as fast as he could, animalistic groans escaping his mouth as Jongin intentionally squeezed down on his .

The squeaking of the bedsprings almost managed to drown out all other noises with how passionately they were going at it. Jongin was reduced to a mumbling and mess as the tip of Kyungsoo's unstoppably continued to abuse his prostate.

“So good…so big," was all Jongin could saw as he clawed at Kyungsoo's strong biceps for dear life.

“ ‘m close," Kyungsoo said through gritted teeth, jaw tensed and defined, driving Jongin closer to the edge simply by how dominant the other looked right now.

“Me too," the younger breathed, ”gonna come like this," he whimpered, as Kyungsoo pushed closer, trapping Jongin's leaking between their bodies, the friction of it combined with the way Kyungsoo's length stretched him open so well finally pushing him over the edge as his hit him like a freight train making his body go rigid for a few seconds and his walls clench extra tightly around Kyungsoo.

It only took a few more frantic slams of hips for the latter to reach his own as well, white hot rapture flooding his veins as his painted the walls of Jongin's entrance. Emptying himself completely with some shallow s, Kyungsoo pulled out and collapsed on top of Jongin, basking in the aftermath of their love making. Slowly but steadily their breaths evened out. Jongin's hands wrapped possessively around Kyungsoo's torso, his hands coming up to draw lazy patterns on his back and his nose nuzzling into his soft hair.
“That was amazing”, Kyungsoo broke the content silence and pecked Jongin's shoulder. The younger responded with a hum, too ed out to form any words at the moment. It started getting chilly when the sweat on their skin started to try and their bodies cooled down from their high, so Jongin pulled the blanket over them, until it covered their intertwined limbs from head to toe.

“I love you," he then said, completely locking his arms around Kyungsoo's back.

“I love you too," the shorter said, kissing Jongin's forehead tenderly, feeling nothing but pure happiness in his heart. 

Jongin and Kyungsoo may not have been the same they had been seven year ago but their feelings for each other were just as intense and pure ad back then, That’s all that mattered. Everything is okay now Kyungsoo thought to himself as he drifted into a content sleep.
 

******

*rolls into ball and hides under table* so there it is. I am sorry for any errors but I'm not a native english speaker and I have no one to beta read. Comments and feedback make me very happy and could possibly motivate me to write a drabble/epilogue about their kindergarten adventures or other steamy escapades *wink wonk*

My Tumblr (feel fre to scream to me about Kaisoo or suggest drabbles or ask me stuff I am a lonely Kaisooloving trashgoblin)