December 18th, 2015.

“How are you doing up there? I hope it’s sunny with clear skies where you’re at. It’s raining here right now, and Jungkook almost fell off his bike because of the slippery road. Reminds me of when you almost fell on your running to the mailbox in the pouring rain. You were so clumsy; it’s a mystery how I still fell for a guy like you. I just wanted to let you know that in case you worry that I haven’t been visiting you for a while. I’ll bring Jungkook along when the time comes since I know you have a soft spot for him, okay? He misses you a lot too.

Love you from the moon and back.”

Text delivered at 3:19 pm.

Yoongi shakes his umbrella one last time before arriving at his apartment. Leaving the umbrella next to the coat rack, he takes off his shoes before heading to the lonely kitchen and brewing himself a cup of hot coffee. While waiting for the coffee beans to grind, he pulls out his phone from his loose pocket and checks for notifications, only to find one message from the unknown number he’s been disregarding for in the past two weeks.

For a person who should know by now that they obviously have the wrong number since Yoongi never responded back, they were sure persistent (or slow, Yoongi could care less whichever it was). Either way, it was getting bothersome since he really doesn’t need a spam of 10+ messages getting mixed up between his business emails and personal texts.

He sighs, before tossing the phone across the cream ivory couch. Why does the universe seem to do everything in its power to inconvenience his life in whatever ways it can?

First: the relocation of his workplace from Daegu to Seoul, which meant having to search for a new apartment. Then, bumping into some high schooler (who accidentally ran into him in a hurry to catch the god damn bus), causing Yoongi to fall back hard from the impact and drop his phone, ultimately making him resort to using a used phone for the time being while he gets it fixed. And now, he’s receiving vague texts from a stranger who gave off an impression of someone with a heavy attachment to their significant other. Either that or: some psycho lover who’s desperate for some attention. It weirded him out on the second day his new phone began working, but Yoongi ignored it and went on with his day, thinking it was an accidental text.

Two weeks forward to now, and the messages keep coming. But honest to god, Yoongi is just too damn lazy to drive to the phone store and get it replaced. So, he just deals with the spam by not replying so the other can get the hint. Which has been quite unsuccessful, to say the least, but Yoongi is confident enough that the stranger will get a clue someday.

The coffee beans are all grounded, so Yoongi pours himself a cup. He stares out the window as he sips the coffee in silence, contemplating if he should wait for the rain to stop completely before heading back out to buy some lilies because he has some free time or to wait a week and buy it the day of when he drives to Gwangju on Christmas.

He places the mug on the table and ultimately decides to buy the flowers next week, before lazily walking over and lying down on the couch, slowly unwinding to the soft static noise of his muted television set.

December 21st, 2015.

“It’s getting colder, but it’s only been hailing, so no snow yet. Jungkook already left two days ago to go celebrate with his family in Busan, so it’s been pretty quiet around here. Mom and dad were going to come here to celebrate Christmas with me, but I told them I wanted to spend time with you so they ultimately agreed not to come. Come to think of it, this is the first time I’m celebrating Christmas without them…

Anyway, I got some decorations for you. It was a spur of a moment thing, but I got you a snow-globe and a dove. I miss you, and I can’t wait to give this to you. I can already see your dimples showing.

Love you from the moon and back.”

Text delivered at 11:21 pm.

It's four days until Christmas, and Yoongi wakes up to the sound of his phone buzzing loudly. Eyes still closed, he’s blindly trying to grab his phone on the nightstand, but with no success. Grumbling, he cracks one eye open, picking the phone up and checks the message… Only to find out it’s the random number.

He rolls back on the bed in irritation, before falling back asleep soon after. He just hopes the text doesn’t interrupt him in his dream also.

December 24th, 2015.

“Tomorrow is Christmas, but I’ve been so busy with work that I haven’t had enough time to see you. I’ll make sure to put aside work and visit you tomorrow for sure, though.

Ever since Jungkook left, I’ve been feeling lonelier than ever. Maybe I should go visit Jimin? He always knows how to uplift my mood. It’s been a while since I last saw him too, so I might as well go see him when I go visit you. He was talking about his growing flower garden, last time we talked. It’s been blooming beautifully, and Jimin is really proud. I’m proud of him too.

It’s getting late and I have to sleep now. Sorry for the short message, I’ll talk to you a lot more when I see you tomorrow.

Love you from the moon and back.”

Text delivered at 1:49 am.

Yoongi is in the middle of replying back to his supervisor in a business email when he feels his phone vibrating on the desk. He gladly takes that as an excuse to take a break from work as he cracks his knuckles one by one, before picking up the phone.

The look of disappointment quickly spreads on his face when he finds the culprit behind the notification, and Yoongi sighs as his head fall back against the chair.

“ing hell,” He whines, throwing the phone on his bed in annoyance. Pinching the tip of his nose bridge, he lets out a stressed sigh before turning back to his laptop and returning back to his work.

Just when he thought he could go a day without a single spam in his damn inbox.

December 25th, 2015.

After showering and throwing his clothes in the laundry, Yoongi checks the time before going through his closet and taking out a wooly black turtleneck along with a black duffle coat, and black jeans to match. He’s getting ready to go drive three hours to Gwangju, but he’s not excited in the very least.

Albeit today being Christmas, often considered the ‘most wonderful time of the year’, no other day has been more erroneous and doleful than today. In Yoongi’s standpoint, Christmas has to be the unluckiest and depressing day in his life, ever since graduating college. But it’s been like that for four years, so he’s already used to it.

He’s slipping on his black duffle coat when the single sound of his phone vibrating stops him in his tracks. He already has a feeling it’s the spam, but this time, he’s in an exceptionally desolate mood and craves to feel something other than loneliness and heartache, so he walks over to pick up his phone and reads the message for the first time this week to get his mind off for the time being:

“It’s finally snowing! I know you like clear weather, but I can’t help but think you’ll love the pure color of snow gracefully falling. I’m going to go get flowers at Jimin’s shop to visit you today. I know you’re lonely these days, especially since it's Christmas.

Taehyung called today, checking to see if I was doing okay. I told him I was coping well, but… truthfully… I’m not. I think I’m going insane.

I’m trying my best to bottle everything in so Jungkook won’t notice, but it’s getting more wearisome each passing day. Sometimes I confide with Jimin, but maybe it’s not enough since I’m still hurting inside. I guess that’s why I’m still talking to you like this instead of moving on.

It’s like I’m trapped in your invisible binding, even if I want to break apart from you. Tell me, Kim Namjoon. How do I get over you?”

Yoongi halts, raising his eyebrows in utter confusion. What the hell is going on? Is this guy alright? He’s almost afraid to continue reading, but the overwhelming curiosity exerts his fingers to scroll upward. This wasn’t what he was expecting; not in a million years.

“It’s been one year, and I’m tired of this. I just want to be happy and move on from the past, but you’re the only one I think of before going to sleep and right after waking up. I hate the fact that I can’t function without thinking of you once. I hate that I love you so much; to the point, I forgive you for hurting me like this. But I want to know… If you were going to leave me alone to fend for myself, why did you have to act like nothing was wrong and put on such a happy persona? Didn’t you know how many people were going to be affected by this? Was your brother not enough for you? Taehyung is managing better than me, but after you left us, he isn’t the same anymore. His eyes don’t shine like it used to, and his smile doesn’t seem as heartfelt as before. Was our neighbor Jungkook, who you loved to dote over, not enough for you? Because he’s still young, I told him we broke up and that you left to another city far away. Sometimes, he instinctively brings you up in the conversation and tells me how much he misses you and... You have no idea how much that still pains me.

But most importantly… why? Why did you leave without a goodbye?

Did you not think I would be the most affected by this when you jumped over that bridge? Did you even think of me once when you looked down at the water, preparing to end your life right then and there? Was my love not enough for you?

Was I, not good enough for you?”

Text delivered at 5:00 pm.

He suddenly feels like a huge weight dropped onto him. Stomach now queasy and heart feeling heavy with guilt, Yoongi has to hold onto the wall for support as he stares at his phone in utter shock.

The guy killed himself. The guy ing jumped over the bridge, and his lover is still mourning over his death.

Realization hits him square in the face, as he now understands the reasons behind the vague text messages. His phone used to belong to a guy named Namjoon, and his lover was trying to cope in their own way for the other’s death.

Feeling his throat constrict and his hands getting clammy in a nervous sweat, Yoongi slowly taps the reply button and starts to write a message back, with shaky fingers. But before he can, another message suddenly comes through.

“I really am going crazy, sending messages to a number that isn’t working anymore. How frustrating. I want to stop doing this, but it’s become such a habit that I don’t know how to stop…

Wow, I’m ranting to no one. Where has my sanity gone? I’ve now officially lost my mind… No, I’ve lost it long ago, when you decided to leave me."

Text delivered at 5:02 pm.

Well, . For a second, Yoongi doesn’t know if he did the other a favor for ignoring the messages and letting the other rant, or if he messed up real bad for dragging this on. He shakes his head, before taking a deep breath. Whether he messed up badly or not, it already happened and now it’s better to stop this from continuing on further.

“… Hey. Sorry to tell you this now, but you’ve been messaging a stranger this whole time, for two weeks. I apologize for not telling you this sooner, but I honestly thought you were just a spammer so I kept ignoring you.

I’m… really sorry for what happened, and I can change the phone if that’ll make you feel better.

I pray that you’ll pull through.”

Text sent at 5:04 pm.

He waits impatiently, heartbeat increasing every tenth of a second. Will the person be embarrassed and apologize for spamming him so many messages? Or will the person be pissed that he revealed this to them last minute? Yoongi already has a feeling it's the latter.

. . .

The minute he bites his finger in distress, a message pops up. In a span of a second, Yoongi hurriedly opens to read a pissed off text.

“… I’m at a loss for words.

You didn’t stop to think to let me know that I’ve been pouring out my feelings to a mere stranger?! I can’t believe this. Was it that difficult to message back, saying I got the wrong damn number?

Don’t bother replacing it. The phone’s probably going to be given to the next person anyway. I won’t bother you anymore, so you can merrily go on with your day from now on.

Have a merry ing Christmas, .”

Text delivered at 5:07 pm.

It’s not like he expects anything different. But it’s an understatement to say Yoongi feels more perturbed to this upsetting situation than the thought of accidentally burning down the apartment this very second.

He (unknowingly) messed with a person with issues dealing with death, and just the thought of it makes him feel like a detestable person who deserved to go to hell. To a normal person, this may seem like an extreme overreaction and it may quite as well be, but Yoongi sympathizes with the other’s current circumstance. Almost too much.

“… I sincerely apologize for my mistake. If I knew that you were texting me because of your circumstance, I would have told you straight away. But I also know that it isn’t an excuse.

To pay for my condolences to your… loved one, I’ll visit the flower shop and buy the flowers on your behalf since you mentioned going to meet… him. It’s the least I can do, for not telling you sooner, if that’s alright with you…”

He holds his breath, scared for the response. But a familiar message alert comes off, and he immediately exhales all the oxygen he’s been afraid of letting go.

“Jimin’s flower shop is on the 17th street of -------. 5:40pm.”

Text delivered at 5:12 pm.

Glancing back at the clock, he makes a mental apology to the one person he has in mind, before grabbing his keys and leaving the apartment.

Yoongi doesn't realize how far the flower shop is concealed from the main streets, seeing it's more blended in between multiple stores of a town that's quite distant from the big megalopolis. He looks down at his watch to see if he’s a few minutes short, but fortunately (or unfortunately); he's ten minutes early than his arrived schedule. Swallowing his throat, he opens the door slowly in nervousness.

When he walks in, he hears a soft tinkle of the bell that’s attached to the door hinge and Yoongi is pleasantly surprised to see an artfully arrange of vibrant, color coordinated plants, to the pastel-colored walls and small aesthetical decorations pinned up in every section. It’s a breathtaking sight, with the abundant flowers that are all ready-to-bloom surrounding every side and the fresh, pollinated scent lingering everywhere in the room. It almost helped him forget about the certain circumstance he was in.

“Welcome to Jimin’s sunshine garden. How may I help you?”

A young, silver-haired man with moon shaped eyes and round cheeks surprises Yoongi when he comes out hiding from behind the counter to greet him. The guy seems warm and friendly; Yoongi is immediately charmed by him when the other approaches him with an eye-smile. Yoongi greets him back with an awkward nod.

“I’m here to buy some flowers for… um, a funeral.” Yoongi responds, and the shop owner goes, “ah,” in comprehension before walking to the back door of the shop. Thirty seconds later, he comes back out with a notebook in his hands.

“Your name?” he asks, and Yoongi is puzzled.

“Umm… Min Yoongi?”

The owner checks the notebook as if he’s looking for his name before his eyebrows arch upwards in confusion. He looks back up at Yoongi.

“Who… are you here for?” he asks warily with a small frown, and Yoongi shifts uncomfortably.

“His name is… um… Kim Namjoon.” It feels weird to have a stranger’s name he’s never met come out of his mouth (a dead person, nonetheless). But to his surprise, the cute shop owner clucks his tongue.

“Ah, you’re the guy Seokjin hyung just called me about!” The other’s bangs sweep to the side as he his head in realization, before looking back at Yoongi with a half-smile. “My name’s Jimin.”

The first thought that comes to Yoongi’s brain, is that the guy's name gives off a mysterious vibe and the fact that the two know each other, with the other telling Jimin about him in just a few hours. His thoughts begin to wander as he wonders what this Seokjin guy is like. But the other interrupts his train of thoughts.

“Sorry for the confusion, this shop is connected with the graveyard that's a few kilometers away from here," Jimin explains. "A lot of people buy lilies and orchids, but some people prefer different types of flowers for their loved ones when they visit, so I pre-arrange the flowers in the back so they can quickly get them so they don't waste any time. Anyway, he’s coming soon, so have a seat and make yourself comfortable.” Jimin pulls out a chair from behind the counter and motions Yoongi to sit down, to which the older awkwardly complies.

“So… I’ve never heard of you coming out of Seokjin hyung’s mouth until today,” he asks him, half-alarm, and half curiosity on his face. “How do you guys know each other?”

Yoongi shifts around; the guilt already starting to spread throughout his nervous system.

“Well, I…”

At that moment the door suddenly swings open, revealing a tall man wearing an all-black fashion (style quite similar to Yoongi’s) who comes in, abruptly ending their short conversation. Yoongi instinctively stands up in surprise and is even more startled to see the new stranger’s physiognomy right in front of him.

As soon as he walks in, Yoongi is naturally drawn to him for some odd, unexplainable reason. The kind of face that can stop people in their tracks because his beauty is that handsome: the soft, ash green hair, peachy skin, the deep-set brows, luscious lips, and the unusually broad shoulders. Accompanied by a Balmain black trench coat, a navy polo, and black wool dress pants that fit his physique all that well.

But the peculiar part on why Yoongi is drawn to him is the dark mystery of his eyes. Piercing black as a raven's wing and distant, as if he got the soul out of him. Those eyes captivate Yoongi and put him in a moment's trance. He doesn't realize that he's been staring way too long than the appropriate time to stare, and the other's brows are furrowed as his mouth turns grim.

"Seokjin hyung, Yoongi just came in." Jimin ignores the uneasy atmosphere created by the two, and Yoongi nods his head to head to introduce himself.

"... Nice to meet you," he says it in the most painful and awkward way. "Min Yoongi."

The guy named Seokjin completely ignores him, turning to Jimin.

"I'll probably be back by nine but in case I don't, close up the shop. See you later."

Jimin waves as Seokjin leaves the shop, but not before the other turns his head, motioning for Yoongi to follow. Yoongi is puzzled at his douchey behavior but lets it go (after all, he’s in the wrong). He takes out his wallet and looks at all the array of the bouquet of flowers in uneasiness.

"Um, what kind of flowers does Namjoon usually receive?" He asks, and Jimin still has that adorable smile on his face as he picks up two large bouquets of lilies from behind their table and hands it to the other.

"All flowers for Namjoon hyung are free, so you don't have to pay. I think Seokjin hyung is waiting for you, so you should hurry!" And Jimin gives him a thumbs up (for reasons Yoongi doesn't understand; it's not like they're going on some kind of date- it's a god damn funeral for crying out loud) but Yoongi thanks him as he quickly leaves the store and follows after the stranger who's waiting for Yoongi outside.

The tension between the two guys is so thick it's getting hard to breathe, figuratively speaking. The silent breaths, long awkward pauses, slight shuffling of shoes on the dirt ground; the overall mood between them is painful as hell.

Yoongi carefully watches the other put down the lilies carefully in front of the grave tombstone that says:

'In loving memory of Kim Namjoon

(1994-2014)

A star that shined and was loved by many, he will forever be in our hearts'

He keeps silent the whole time: the main reason being that Namjoon is a stranger to him so there's nothing for him to say, but also because the mood is already bleak and downright depressing. Seeing the two haven't spoken to each other as of yet (him introducing himself to the other doesn't count because the other straight up ignored him as if he was some invisible ghost, for god’s sake). The other is still ignoring him, talking to Namjoon's tombstone for an hour quietly as Yoongi just watches from the sideline.

He’s puzzled on why the other accepted his proposal when all the other was going to do was disregard his existence the whole damn time. He sighs of exhaustion internally, since he stuck himself in such a weird predicament that he can't get out of until the other's done. Holding the lilies in his hands tight, he's trying not to fall asleep in boredom.

Suddenly, Seokjin gets up from finishing his private conversation and stares at Yoongi with an unreadable expression painted on his face.

"If you're going to bring flowers, you should at least introduce yourself to him." He says quietly.

Yoongi is taken aback from the grating comment, but he follows along and puts down the flowers before stiffly kneeling down.

"... Hi, Namjoon, it's nice to meet you, despite the unfortunate circumstance," Yoongi takes a deep breath, staring at the engraved marks on the stone. "I'm Yoongi, the current owner of your old phone. Since we never encountered each other, I don't know much about you, but... I hope that you're in a better place now... And I'm really sorry that you couldn't value your own life..."

Seokjin is quiet, eyeing him demurely when Yoongi stands up and dusts off his pants.

"It’s not suicide that kills one," he explains for the first time, his gaze still on Yoongi with a veiled expression. "It’s sadness."

Yoongi isn't sure what that means. But what he does know, is that the guy is obviously hurting (to the point the other is emotionally numb on the inside) and he can't help but feel sympathetic for the other. Sighing, he motions Seokjin to get back in the car, which in turn the other gives him a questioning look.

"I know what can help you feel better," Yoongi says kindly, to which Seokjin furrows his eyebrows in suspicion. "It may not be a permanent solution, but it'll help you to get your mind off him, at least for today."

Seokjin doubts it'll