Sejeong knew Chungha was probably getting frustrated with her. It had been three weeks since Chungha had brought her a pizza and taken her hand, and their relationship was progressing both forwards and backwards in maddening juxtaposition.

If Sejeong were to think about it, truly, it would only make sense that she and Chungha would do things in the opposite direction at the same time and somehow make it work.

Since Sejeong had kissed Chungha and Chungha had kissed Sejeong, there had actually been very little kissing in general. Because while being near Chungha was warm and comforting, actually kissing her was burning and scary.

It was a very fine line, and the one time in three weeks that they progressed to anything even remotely resembling a reclined position, Sejeong had freaked out in an epic way and locked herself in the bathroom, with Chungha sitting on the other side of it quietly, just waiting for her to re-emerge and apologize. Only once, Chungha had asked, “Do you want me to leave?” and it took Sejeong a full three minutes to sound out the words, “Please don’t go,” and so Chungha stayed.

This lasted two hours, and when Sejeong finally came out (for lack of any better words) Chungha was curled up asleep on the ground, using her own arm as a pillow.

She was also drooling, which Sejeong found– regrettably–adorable.

She had spent the two hours in the bathroom trying to figure out the truth - something to say to Chungha, and only emerged when she’d had a sort of speech planned. But the mere sight of her, sprawled out with open, in a little puddle of her own drool, sent every preparation out the window. Sejeong just studied Chungha for a few moments, simply looking at her, and then, with a breath, tremulously knelt down and wrapped her arms around Chungha’s midsection, settling in behind her and holding tightly.

“Sejeong?” Chungha mumbled, stirring from her half-sleep.

“I’m here,” Sejeong whispered shakily into Chungha’s hair.

“Me too,” Chungha replied firmly, and rolled them over, reversing their positions. Sejeong nestled back into Chungha’s arms and let herself be held, which is what she really wanted in the first place. She just didn’t have to ask for it with Chungha.

She was trying to learn how, though.

Still, innocent touching was easier than kissing, because kissing meant that everything in Sejeong’s life was going to change, and touching just meant that she felt happy and safe and warm. She didn’t know how to put the two together.

And it was here that Sejeong thought Chungha might be getting frustrated with her, for being difficult to communicate with and also resistant to any physical intimacy that reflected any level of attraction. But every so often Chungha would have a freakout of her own, usually because she was too focused on the future, and Sejeong wouldn’t wait for Chungha to ask to be held either. She’d panicked about college acceptance letters the week before, pacing around the Kim living room in a frenzy. Sejeong sat calmly with her mug of hot chocolate until Chungha had to stop and breathe, and then Sejeong took the opportunity to reach out, tugging gently on her arm to bring her back down to the couch and into her grasp.

Sejeong was always stuck in the past, and Chungha too focused on the future. Together, they met in the middle and just tried to get through the day without wanting to shut each other out or run away. And so touching was what worked for them; kissing was burning and consuming and reductive, but touching was grounding and nurturing and steady. Touching was Chungha’s hand on Sejeong’s leg while they watched Beauty and the Beast. Touching was Sejeong reaching out and brushing a few errant wisps of Chungha’s hair away from her face as she did homework or made dinner or as she rested from dancing her little heart out. Touching was the enveloping embraces that always punctuated the end of their visits, and touching was what made them feel okay with being together.

And occasionally, during those embraces, or when they were absently watching TV, or when Chungha was concentrating too hard on a task at hand… they shared a kiss. One kiss, because kissing was consuming; it was everything about their past and a reminder of their future and sometimes Chungha and Sejeong needed to be reminded that they were two people in a relationship and not just two souls trying to help each other through the day.

They didn’t know it then, but in the end, it would be the touching and the kissing, the careful balance of the two, that would keep Chungha and Sejeong alive, both individually, and together. It was always a matter of doing two things at once, in opposite directions, and finding some way to meet in the middle.

It was always the reminder: I’m here, and me, too.

-

Just a quick update. Please support Gugudan's comeback!!! I've been playing it on loop because its catchy lmao. Also taeyeon's album!!! My persobal favorites are Fine, Fire and Love In Color. The girl is a Legend.

Thank you for reading!! I am eternally grateful for all the comments, subscriptions and the upvotes. <3 We only have about two chapters left.