love you," he murmured into Hanbin's smooth, sculpted collar bone.

"I know," Hanbin replied.

...Yeah... you sure do. That's the problem, Bobby thought to himself suddenly feeling gloomy. Hanbin always seemed so sure of the feelings he had for him. Yet still after four months together, Hanbin's feelings for him remained hard to pin down, at least in words.

Loving this boy had the same thrill and terror of surfing. It had been a year now since he had learned to surf at Nai Harn in Thailand. He remembers clearly though just how electrifying it was skimming the underside of those turquoise waves. His heart racing as he realised joyfully he was finally getting the hang of it...that was until suddenly he was scrabbling to stay upright, his stomach freefalling 30 ft. Then he was underwater, the wave he had just been riding smashing down overhead, threatening to keep him under forever.

The first time that had happened his instructor Arthit had helped drag him from the surf laughing madly, something about how his face had looked when he started falling. He had chuckled back but let his wet bangs stay plastered over his eyes to hide how shaken he really was. His throat and sinuses burned with salt and he was pretty sure he had sand up his nose. He was back in the water shortly after that, there was no way he was quitting, but that mad scramble for balance happened again and again.

He felt Hanbin shift forwards on the bed, tightening the hand he had on Bobby's thigh as he pulled himself more upright. The arm Hanbin had propped out on the bed to keep them steady folded around Bobby's lower back while his lips began to absent-mindedly graze the top of Bobby's head.

A maddening blend of adoration and irritation flooded Bobby's chest.

"...Really?" He whined. He pulled out of Hanbin's arms and swung off the bed, hating himself at the same time. He couldn't help it though, he could feel himself entering "sulky mode" and nothing could change that now.

Hanbin stared at Bobby who had just slipped on some boxers and was now clumsily pulling a t-shirt over his head. Seeing Bobby's set jaw and bitter smile appear from under the folds of white material made something click. He held back a smirk. And everyone told him he was the moody one...

"Yeah, really...you don't believe me? You don't know that I know that you love me??" He murmured feigning hurt.

"That's not what I meant," Bobby muttered, now wanting to leave the room before he could unravel anymore. Hanbin sprung up from bed and caught Bobby in a playful tackle. They struggled for a few moments both grinning stupidly. Well, Bobby trying not to but failing. He was fighting to remain aloof against the usual race of desire that overcame him whenever Hanbin's body pressed against his. Blushing Bobby managed to shrug him off but just as he was about to walk through the door hands caught his hips from behind.

"Why you sulking? Come on tell me, you big baby!" Hanbin laughed, jutting his chin out goofily, pulling that Dumb and Dumber face he knew Bobby found so ridiculous.

"Hey! I'm not a baby, look at me!" Bobby demanded pulling back from Hanbin to give him a good view of the tanned bicep he was flexing aggressively. "What's this then, huh?" Hanbin rolled his eyes.

"Fine, suit yourself." Hanbin sat down tiredly on the bed and starred out the window. A bolt of panic pinged through Bobby's chest like a hockey puck as he realised Hanbin was withdrawing into himself, something that happened whenever conflict arose. It was like Hanbin knew there was a storm coming and any second was about to disappear into his emergency bunker, closing the heavy door behind him. Bobby realised that now he had brought this storm out into the open he was going to have to be bold or else risk losing Hanbin for the rest of the afternoon...and this turning into a bigger deal than he wanted it to be.

"It's just that, well, you know I say stuff to you a lot, right?" He blurted out.

"...what stuff?" Hanbin asked absently, still looking towards the window.

"How I feel about you, what you mean to me." Hanbin now turned to look at Bobby, head tilting like a puppy's.

"And it's just that...sometimes, ugh, I don't know how to say this..." Bobby desperately hoped Hanbin would somehow read his mind and finish the sentence for him. I want to know how you feel about me, not just in actions but in words. The same words I use...But Hanbin wasn't going to let him off the hook so he stumbled onwards.

"I mean I just said I loved you...and you said "I know." Why couldn't you just say, "I love you too?" Why is that so hard?" Bobby flushed with relief. Well, It's out now. Admittedly it felt good to finally say what had been bothering him on and off over the last four months. Hanbin looked surprised for a second then leaned forward in thought, his elbows on his knees, chin in his hands. Bobby nervously picked at the wooden dresser he was leaning trying to keep cool. He counted the seconds, waiting for the response...from past experience it would either be cold and defensive or...Hanbin let out a sigh and rubbed his face with one hand.

"That is fair enough. I didn't realise it upset you like that. You see, I just take it for granted that you know already how I feel...that I love you," Hanbin finished softly, looking up at Bobby. Hundreds of butterflies burst into flight in Bobby's stomach.

"I'm still kinda awkward at this I guess, even at this point four months in, I still don't make myself clear. I mean how do you even put up with me...?"

Bobby winced hearing the old self-loathing he hated so much creep into Hanbin's voice, "...It's weird for me being so honest with someone, even if I do love them. Maybe I am afraid that if I start talking that way...I will never stop and it will get too much, and then you will realise how clingy and crazy I am and you won't want m-"

Bobby's hand was on his mouth. Hanbin looked up but Bobby was smiling down at him, eyes creased into happy crescent moons. Bobby removed his hand and playfully cuffed Hanbin's cheek.

"See! You did it just then, you said it. You love me. It wasn't that hard! You can do it!" Bobby laughed making Hanbin cringe.

"I know, I know...." Hanbin muttered cradling his now rosy face in his hands.

"I just don't want to have to nag you to say this stuff, you know? I want you to want to say it."

Bobby finished, waiting for Hanbin's face to emerge from his hands. Hanbin chuckled then looked up, revealing a smug smile and cheeky glint in his eyes. Bobby knew that smile all too well. It was the one that never failed to make his stomach flip and heart suddenly throb somewhere below his belly button.

"Well, I will let you know something considering you are too daft to have picked up on it yourself..." Hanbin said, leaning back down on the bed looking up at Bobby from under his brow.

"I actually love it when you ask more from me. It drives me mad for you, in fact."

Bobby tried to gulp but something had happened to his throat, it was stuck. Hanbin stood up took Bobby's face into his cool palms. Hanbin's black eyes seemed darker than normal tumbling into his own. Time seemed to slow down to a trickle. A bomb could have gone off in the next room and he wouldn't have heard a thing. His eyes darted nervously between Hanbin's eyes and his lips which were now forming words.

"I love you Jiwon. I love you, I love you, I love, I love you." Hanbin finished with a gentle peck on his lips. There was a pause as they looked at each other. But it was all too much and Bobby burst out laughing. Hanbin's face crumpled into a grimace of disbelief and he shoved Bobby's chest angrily.

"Ok, that's it. No more sincerity for you. I open up my heart like you wanted and then you laugh like a jerk." Bobby clung to Hanbin who was now the one trying to exit the room, not wanting Bobby to see his embarrassment.

"Wait, wait wait, I gotta tell you something too then, because you're also too slow to have picked up on something!!" Hanbin stopped pulling for a second, allowing Bobby to spin him around and push him against the bedroom door, an arm caging him in on either side.

"Whaaat then." Hanbin whined reedily. Bobby suddenly scrunched his nose up in the way he always did when he was about to do something heartfelt. Hanbin waited, one eyebrow raised demandingly.

"Well you see, I can't help laughing because...well, let's just say, if I didn't laugh at your being so y...the only other option I would have is to pull you back into bed again. And I'm not sure you want that considering we have just been there for the last 6 hours." Bobby wiggled his eyebrows dumb and dumber style. Hanbin scoffed but underneath Bobby's joking tone there was truth. He couldn't help but offer a weak, melting smile in return.

"Why are we both so awkward?" Hanbin asked. Bobby burst into laughter again and grabbed Hanbin's shoulders threatening to collapse.

"At least we're cute, hey?" Hanbin offered as Bobby still chuckling led him from the bedroom, slinging an arm around Hanbin's shoulders.

"Yeah, well at least one of us is. What you wanna eat handsome? You're cooking."